The next story in my series with Buck and Camille/Singing Bird Cross.
I do not own the Young Riders.
Singing Bird Cross said goodbye to the last of her students and watched as they scattered across the town, laughing and yelling at each other over the peals of wind and claps of thunder. It was early afternoon and still enough time in the school day to get in another few lessons, but when she'd heard the first rumble in the sky and smelled the change in the air, Singing Bird knew she'd better get the children home before the real storm descended upon the town.
From the front door of the church, she observed the clouds moving rapidly from east to west, the wind causing the dust in the street to form small twisters in front of the buildings. It was time for her to get moving if she planned on getting to the store and back home before the deluge started.
She packed up the children's papers and her own books in the leather bag Buck had presented her with last Christmas. She remembered how his eyes had lit up when she pulled it from the burlap sack in which Buck had hidden the present. He'd told her that she wouldn't have to worry about dropping the books and papers in the muddy street anymore and she laughed, knowing she'd done it one too many times.
Buck loved to give her small gifts. They were never anything fancy, just small things that he thought she'd appreciate like the perfectly smooth blue stone he'd found near a stream or a beaded hair band he'd gotten from trading with an Indian tribe. She knew he loved her but couldn't help wonder if the reason for the gifts were to appease her feelings of loss at not being pregnant yet.
It had been a year since their reunion and each month when Singing Bird saw the blood appear once more, she knew it was another lost opportunity for a baby. Kid and Lou were already expecting their first little one and Singing Bird often looked at the young woman's growing stomach with a twinge of jealousy. Buck never spoke of his disappointment, but she saw the longing in his eyes whenever a child crossed their path. She slid the last of her books in the satchel and sighed to herself, not understanding why the Great Spirit wouldn't reward them by adding to their family. After all they'd been through to be together, it seemed only right that they be given the chance to have a child of their own.
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Sora." She scolded herself softly while lifting the leather strap of her bag over her head and adjusting it on her shoulder. Closing and locking the church door, she walked out into the darkening sky. The wind buffeted her body and she let out a long breath as soon as she closed the door to Tompkins store behind her. She needed to be quick lest she face looking like a drowned cat when she arrived home.
"Mrs. Cross." Tompkins acknowledged the young woman and she smiled in return. Buck had told her all the stories of Mr. Tompkins and the venom he'd often spewed in Buck's direction. But since she'd arrived, Mr. Tompkins had not one unpleasant or spiteful word to say to her. Singing Bird had a suspicion she had Marshal Hunter and Rachel Dunne to thank for his restraint.
"Afternoon, Mr. Tompkins. I just need a pound of sugar and a pound of coffee, please."
He nodded and began walking toward the back room when Singing Bird noticed a small figure standing in front of the candy jars.
"Adam Palmer?"
The boy turned toward her and smiled sheepishly. "Mrs. Cross."
She moved toward him and tilted her head to the side as she so often did when questioning one of her students. "What are you doin' in the store, Adam? You should be headed home, there's a storm rollin' in."
He nodded and his blue eyes cast downward as if he'd just been caught stealing. "Yes, ma'am. I just stopped in for a minute to look at the candy Mr. Tompkins got."
"The candy Mr. Tompkins has." Singing Bird corrected.
"Yes'm. The candy Mr. Tompkins has. My pa promised to buy me some if I helped him fix the roof so I figured I'd pick out what I wanted."
She smiled at the tall youngster; the freckles that dotted his face were only accentuated by his dark brown hair. Adam was a diligent boy, soft spoken and always attentive in class. He continued to impress her with his ability to learn lessons quickly. Adam was one of those children who seemed to have maturity well beyond his ten years and she hoped that wasn't out of the necessity for him to make up for the loss of his mother. She'd tried to learn as much as she could about her students in order to best teach them in school. With a wide variety of ages in her classroom, it was best to know as much about their lives and personalities as possible to help them learn. Poor Adam lost his mother only a few years ago and lived alone with his father, Jacob Palmer. From what Buck told her, she knew that Mr. Palmer wasn't a bad man, but he also wasn't one to pass up an opportunity to make a quick dollar. She hoped his son hadn't been exposed to anything dangerous but with these men out west, one could never be sure of anything.
"Well, that's sensible plannin', Adam. It's always good to see what we're workin' for. Now, I really think you should head on home before you get wetter than a fish in water."
Adam giggled. "I wouldn't have to worry if I had fins like a fish."
"Well, if you had fins you'd better get some gills too!" She put her hands on either side of her jaw and pursed her lips together, mimicking a fish. It made the boy laugh even harder and, in no time, she was joining him in the joke. The jingle of the bell from the shop's front door registered in her mind but she paid no attention until she heard Buck's voice from behind her.
"Well, good, I guess I won't have to catch a chicken for dinner…I'll just have me some fish!"
Both Singing Bird and Adam looked at each other and laughed again as Buck walked up to the two of them and smiled. "How are you, Adam?"
"Fine, sir. Just about to head back home."
"Good idea, it's gettin' close now. You want a ride?"
"Oh, no, sir. It ain't too far and I'm a fast runner."
"Don't you mean, swimmer?" Singing Bird winked.
"Yeah!" He chuckled again. "Swimmer, I mean!" He walked toward the door, moving his arms out in a swimming motion. He stopped just before reaching the latch and turned around to wave at the couple. Just for a moment, she swore she could see a flicker of longing in his small blue eyes as he looked at them but just as quickly as it had appeared, it faded from his face and a smile grew from ear to ear.
"See ya Mrs. Cross! Bye Mr. Cross!"
He was out the door in a flash and Singing Bird watched him run down the street and disappear behind a building.
"He's a good kid." Buck glanced at Sora and saw the look in her eyes that was too prevalent these days. He wished there was something he could do to ease her pain.
"Yes, he is." She replied softly.
Buck put his arm around her as Tompkins' cleared his throat behind them. Singing Bird turned around and saw the shop owner put her bags on the counter. She crossed to him and pulled her change purse out of her bag.
"That'll be 63 cents."
She put the appropriate amount of money on the counter as Buck picked up the bags. "Thanks, Mr. Tompkins."
Tompkins looked at Singing Bird as he responded, "You be sure to get home before the rain hits. Would hate to have you stuck with soggy coffee."
"Is soggy coffee any better or worse than sugar water?"
She was mildly surprised to see the corner of Tompkins' mouth creep upward.
"Have a nice afternoon, Mr. Tompkins."
He nodded and Buck carried the bags out to the buckboard and placed them on the seat. Buck turned to Sora and stared at her for a moment, amazed at how civil Tompkins had been since she'd arrived in town.
"I might have been seein' things but I'd swear that was a smile on Tompkins' face."
"Now don't go spreadin' that kind of gossip, Buck, or you'll get the whole town in a stir."
She walked by him and held out her hand for Buck to help her up into the wagon.
"I'd planned on walkin' home, you know. You didn't have to come and pick me up."
Buck walked around and climbed up onto the seat, taking the reins in his hands. The crack of thunder echoed across the landscape loud enough to make Singing Bird jump. Buck flicked the reins and began to turn the horses around, heading for home.
"You think I'm gonna let my wife walk home in a thunderstorm?"
"You didn't want your coffee to get wet."
"The sugar would have got ruined too."
Buck felt her finger poke him in the ribs while her laughter rang in his ears.
-xxxx-
Adam Palmer ran down the final hill before reaching his house. He was still laughing about Mrs. Cross pretending to be a fish. She was a good teacher and all the kids thought she was nice, funny and smart. Adam always did his best in school and loved seeing her smile at him when he'd done well on an assignment. For him, Mrs. Cross wasn't just the schoolteacher, she represented a mother that Adam missed more than anything in the world. So often, he would awaken from a recurring dream that made him both happy and sad at the same time. In the dream, his real mother would wave goodbye and disappear behind a tree. Then, he would turn and see Mrs. Cross, her arms open wide and her face beaming with a big smile. Adam would run to her and she would wrap him in her arms tightly allowing him to feel protected and safe.
The images from his sleep played over in his mind as he approached his house. The small cabin stood next to a grove of trees and he could see his father up on the roof, hammering one of the wooden shingles into place. Adam frowned slightly, hoping that his father hadn't finished the entire job. He wanted to help so he could get his candy from Tompkins' store.
The hammering was beginning to be drowned out by the approaching thunder.
"Hi Pa!"
His father turned around and looked down at Adam. He waved, the hammer moving back and forth along with his hand. "Adam..you're home early, ain't ya?"
"Yeah, Pa, teacher let us go early to get home before the storm."
Jacob returned to his hammering. "Well, that was mighty nice of her. Looks like we're gonna have ourselves a big one."
"Can I help, Pa?"
"Well, I'm almost done, son. I had to get started to beat this storm. Why don't you go and get some wood for tonight?"
Adam's face fell and his shoulders slumped with disappointment.
His father paused his work. "Don't worry, boy, you'll still get that candy."
The young man's face lit up once more. "Thanks, Pa!"
Adam ran to get the wood, preparing for one storm but oblivious to the second one brewing in the distance.
-xxxx-
Buck and Singing Bird lie in bed, naked and content in each other's arms. The storm had hit full force a few hours ago when they'd just finished putting the last of the horses away and they'd retreated to the house, watching the rain and listening to the thunder as they removed their wet clothes. There'd been no need for words as they'd moved upstairs to their bed and let the sounds from the outside be their aphrodisiac. Now, they listened as the crashes grew softer and the flashes in the sky more infrequent. Buck stroked his wife's back as he watched the rain pelt the windows.
"You've been sad lately, Sora."
She heard his voice rumble low in his chest and she ran her fingers across his stomach. They'd promised to be honest with each other but she was afraid that giving voice to her sadness would make it even more real.
"I haven't been able to give you a child, Buck."
He kissed her on the head and took her hand in his own. His thumb caressed her skin and he spoke softly, almost as if he was afraid she'd startle and bolt like a frightened rabbit.
"I don't need a child to be happy with you."
"I see the way you look at children. You want one and I…" The emotion she'd held for so long began to break through the barrier she'd created to keep it at bay.
Buck shifted down and turned on his side to face her. His strong hand brushed the tears from her face then settled on her cheek.
"Do you love me?"
Singing Bird looked into his dark brown eyes. "Do you even have to ask? You're my world, Buck. I love you more than anything."
"Do you believe I love you?"
This time she nodded. She knew that he did love her but her feelings of failure were making her doubt that any man would love a woman who couldn't bear him children. Buck's voice was more firm than before.
"Sora…do you believe I love you?"
"Yes."
"I didn't wait ten years to find you again only to cast you aside when things got tough. You're the only woman I've ever loved. Even if we never have children, it won't change how I feel about you. I don't need a child to love you, Sora. If we're not given a child of our own, we can find others who need a home. There are plenty of children who are growin' up unwanted and unloved like we did."
She looked over her husband's face and traced his cheekbone with her fingers. There were no words for how Buck made her feel. Moving close to him, she brushed her lips against his, savoring the feeling of his tender skin and the flavor of his mouth. Their tongues did a delicate dance until she pressed her face closer to his to heighten the intensity. She was slow and methodical, trying to show him physically how much her heart overflowed with love for him. He responded in kind, burying his fingers in her hair and pulling her body to his. She paused for just a moment, her eyes still half closed. Her lips grazed his as she spoke.
"Thank you, Buck."
"After the last few hours, I should be thanking you."
"Oh, you haven't even begun to be appreciative, Buck Cross."