Hi, I'm back with a new Akatsuki fic, I don't know if I'm going to keep going with this fic, hopefully I do so review me if you want me to move on or if you find any mistakes just review.
Summary: Never fear, Akatsuki five and Tobi are here! Wait, forget what I said. The Akatsuki five (mostly Tobi) are what makes fear cry home for its mother. Hidan, Deidara, Itachi, Zetsu and Kakuzu including Tobi were downgraded to a stupid B-ranked mission, guiding the third hiyoukage (hailkage) to Suna, Sound and back. They also have another mission in mind to 'impress' the leader.
Rated: T for Hidan and Itachi's foul language.
Words: 1,233
A road less travelled
by White-winter-wolf
Chapter one: lost memories
Most of the Akatsuki members had never been a fan of family nights and today was Friday, dreaded 'Drive Threw Film Friday'. A night were the members of Akatsuki are crammed into a small van full of stale popcorn and sticky soft drinks spilt all over the floor and were forced to watch a movie of a certain members choice. Tonight was Konan's turn to choose, knowing her, the Akatsuki were going to watch something horrifying, and Horror movies were on the bottom of her list. Oh the pain in it all, Itachi's mangekyou sharingan would sorely even be more enjoyable then the shit they were about to watch.
Members: Hidan, Itachi, Deidara, Kakuzu and Zetsu, decided to have a discussion about these 'family night movies'.
"Where's Kisame?" Zetsu's white and more cheerful side of his face asked, mystified.
"He said he didn't want to go." Itachi said emotionlessly, "Probably some half-shark, half-fucked up pansy thing." Everyone was silent, some how agreeing to Itachi's comment about his so called 'dear friend'.
"If Kisame heard that he would of probably...un…" Deidara thought hard for the right answer.
"Start crying, eat three hundred cheese burgers, cry again, sleep, eat some cake…" Kakuzu ticked off the list of Kisame's doings with his figures, "that would be equivalent to seventy-nine dollars…"
"Shut the fuck up Kakuzu, were here because of that fucking movie thing." Hidan smacked Kakuzu hard on the head.
"What shall we do?" Zetsu's black and more cold-hearted side asked worried.
"It's two dollars per movie!" Kakuzu yelled furiously.
"If we run we'll be killed by Pein. Un" Deidara said carelessly leaning back on his chair.
"Hey ya know what?" a hyperactive voice shouted, filling the room up with those words, "Pein rhymes with rain, who is Pein anyway?" Tobi had just come back from his unknown four O'clock adventure.
"Tobi not so loud, the leader hates us calling him that. Un." Deidara grabbed Tobi by the collar of his cloak and threatened to strangle him.
"Calling me what?" The leader walked into the room suspicious, "And why is Kisame eating a billon cheese burgers up in his room?"
"Three hundred," Kakuzu mumbled to Hidan, trying not to give the leader stitches.
"We were watching T.V." Itachi said out of the blue, the rest were pleased with Itachi's answer and franticly nodded repeatedly.
The leader looked confused, "we don't have a T.V., Itachi burnt it down a few weeks ago." Everyone looked at Itachi, Itachi looked down to his feet, covering up his scarlet face. "Imaginary," He said trying not to sweat, "imagavision." Hidan demonstrated by sitting on the chair, staring at nothing.
"Okay then," the leader said walking out of the room, "you have to get ready, we're going in five minutes."
"What are we watching?" Deidara asked, bored out of his wits, "are we watching Godzilla?"
"Deidara when you choose movies it's always Godzilla," an irritated Konan said from the front seat, "Were watching 'High School Musical'."
"What the hell?" Hidan shouted. "That movie is even more gay then that frickin asparagus on a stick thing you whipped up yesterday."
"Well Pein liked it, didn't you Pein?" Konan's puppy dog eyes were fixed onto the leader.
"Konan don't speak to me when I'm driving." The leader said, keeping his eyes on the road.
The rest of the car trip was silent apart from the munching noises Kisame was making.
"I am disappointed in all of you," The leader scolded the five, "no, I'm not disappointed, I'm humiliated, do you know how much money it costs to go to these movies? Kisame, Tobi and Sasori were just fine."
"Kisame was asleep, Tobi was tied up and Sasori's dead!" Zetsu's black side informed just as irritated as the others, "If it costs too much why don't we stop?"
"Finally, the voice of reason!" Kakuzu kneeled down and repeatedly bowed down to Zetsu.
"As your punishment, I'm sending you to do a B-ranked mission." The leader pulled Kakuzu up by his collar, "no buts, you're going to guide the third Hiyoukage to Suna, Sound and back to Hailkagure."
"What?"
"Tobi will be supervising you just-in-case you do anything stupid." The leader
"Tobi is stupid, un!"
Ignoring what Deidara's comment and he continued, "anyway, the Hiyoukage must not know who you are, you will disguise your selves in any disguise you plead, but I will choose your 'names'." Pein pointed at Deidara.
"You will be Phillis, Itachi will be Riku, Hidan will be Hidan…and Kakuzu and Zetsu, you can choose what your names can be, Tobi will be Toby."
"Why do I have to be a girl, un?" Deidara pouted.
"Tobi's name wasn't even changed." Zetsu' s white side moped.
"Why do I have to be fuckin Hidan?" Hidan joined in with the pouting, "I hate that guy, he's such a pansy."
"Riku, that name is so familiar-"
"Okay!" The leader shouted over the top of the group, "Deidara, you are Phillis, Itachi, you will be Sora, Hidan will be Hidan, Kakuzu and Zetsu are to choose there own names and Tobi is Toby!!" The leader's voice boomed threw the room. He left the members to get ready for their missions.
That night Itachi had already finished packing and layered out his clothing for tomorrow, long black pants, a black, plain shirt, grey denim train hat and his lucky violin (you never know when an instrament can come in handy!). He decided to check if anyone else had finished.
Without knocking, Itachi walked into Deidara's room, "Deidara, what the hell?" Deidara had his hair up in pony tails, tied up with spotty blue ribbons.
"What? It matches my eyes, un" Deidara complained in a high and girly voice as he stood up. He was wearing a short light blue dress with a stylish white belt, black leggings and blue sandshoes.
"Isn't that a bit too much?" Itachi asked, backing away.
"Of course not, you can never have too much blue, un."
The words flowed threw Itachi's head, "Of course not, you can never have too much blue, un. Of course not, you can never have too much blue, un. Of course not, you can never have too much blue, un." Itachi screamed and tripped, banging his head on Deidara's desk.
"Itachi-san? Itachi-san, are you all right?" A voice echoed into his head. He woke up and looked around. Itachi was in the living room surrounded by his siblings, "you knocked your head on Deidara-senpai's desk."
"Who are you?"
Why did I come up with the name Phillis? Phillis is my old imaginary friend, what a weird person I am. I don't know if I should keep going, please review.
Winter.