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A/N: I was watching 200 the other day, and when the wedding scene came up, I noticed that Daniel leaned around Jack and Sam and grinned at Vala. This is my feeble attempt to explain that little grin.
200 Dresses
By CountryPixie
"Just pick one already!"
"Daniel, you may be an expert at languages, but believe me, when it comes to fashion, you are hopeless."
Daniel's head dropped to his chest as he contemplated whether or not anyone would notice if he took a quick cat nap on the floor. He'd been up all night translating an artifact SG-6 had needed help with, but there was no rest for the weary as Vala had kidnapped him at 8:30 for a day of shopping. The clock now read 4:47, and the floor was starting to look like the most comfortable thing he'd ever seen.
"Which one of these do you like more?" Vala asked, holding up what appeared to be two identical dresses. Daniel just stared, blinked twice, and continued to stare. Vala shook the dresses to elicit a response.
"What's the difference?" he asked.
Vala looked as if Daniel had just asked what color the sky was. "This one," she said, holding up the dress in her left hand, "is burgundy." She emphasized the one in her right hand by holding it up to her neck and saying, "This one is maroon."
"The one on the left," Daniel said, praying he had answered correctly. Judging by the face Vala was making as she scrutinized the burgundy dress, he'd messed up.
"Wait, which one was maroon?"
"This one!" Vala said, bringing said dress up to her neck again.
"Okay, I mixed up the colors. I meant that one," he gushed, trying to fix his mistake before it cost him another day of shopping.
Vala eyed Daniel critically. She knew what he was doing, but the maroon dress did look better, and he had been very patient all day.
"Well, now that we have the dress picked out," she said, ignoring the muttered "finally" coming from Daniel, "we have to grab accessories."
"You said you already had shoes that would go with that color."
Vala shook her head. "Oh, you poor hopeless man, you. I'm going to need a necklace, bracelets, and earrings, at least."
"But it will look fine without them!" Daniel protested.
"I'm sorry, darling, but I really need them. The outfit isn't complete otherwise."
Daniel almost cried at the thought of another couple hours in the mall. He suddenly thought the Ori might not have had so much influence on Adria after all – her mother was definitely evil. Time for the Hail Mary, he thought.
"But Vala, you look amazing in anything. Trust me, you'll look better without the jewelry." Vala was shaking her head again, so Daniel added, "Just try on the dress now and decide if you need anything else later."
Certain that she'd just have to convince Teal'c to bring her back the next day, Vala agreed. When she tried on the dress, however, she was amazed to find that Daniel did have a point. Any accessories would have made the outfit too busy. Still, she thought, Daniel doesn't have to know that right away.
"Darling," she said as she emerged from the dressing room in her own clothes, "I appreciate your thoughts, but I really need the jewelry." A huge sigh was the only response.
As Vala perused the jewelry, she realized that Daniel really did look a little tired. Okay, a lot tired, she corrected. Grabbing the first things that went well with both the dress and a couple of her other outfits, Vala managed to finish within ten minutes.
"That was fast," Daniel remarked as they left the store.
"Well, I thought about what you said, and I decided you were right." Vala paused to make sure he was listening and not thinking about some artifact. "I do look amazing in anything."
"And that makes you a faster shopper because…?"
"Because I don't need jewelry to go with the dress. I got this stuff to match some of my other outfits," Vala admitted.
If Daniel had had any energy left, he would have congratulated himself on flattering Vala and saving himself from more shopping in one fell swoop. As it was, he was concentrating too hard to make sure he didn't slam the car door shut on Vala's dress.
"Daniel."
"Yes?" Please don't need something else, please don't need something else, Daniel prayed, wanting to never enter that mall again.
"I take it back. You are not a hopeless shopper," Vala announced.
"Oh. Okay. Thanks," Daniel said, a bit confused as to why Vala had suddenly changed her tune, but knowing that mischievous look on her face couldn't be good.
"That being said, Sam will definitely want you to help her pick out her dress."
"Oh, no. As the Maid of Honor, that is your duty."
"Yes, but Daniel, we need a man's opinion, and Jack can't very well help out. Even I know that it's bad luck to see the dress before the wedding day," Vala reasoned.
Daniel knew he could have talked his way out of the situation reasonably, but he just didn't have the will. "Vala, if I help, Sam will end up in a dress with no accessories because it's faster that way, not because it looks better."
"We'll see. I'll talk to Landry about clearing your schedule for next Friday."
Daniel closed his eyes as he started the car. Jack, you so owe me for this.
A/N: So, what'd you think?