In My Heart
The field was covered with the dead and dying. The sky's huge white clouds stopped the sunlight's penetrating rays from soaking up moisture on the rain-soaked ground.
Harry Potter crawled away from the burning body of Voldemort and began to search for the man who had unknowingly stolen his heart. The man blasted by Lucius Malfoy when he pushed Harry out of the line of fire of some vicious curse he'd never heard of before.
After crawling through the muck on the battlefield, Harry finally stumbled over Severus Snape, whose body was covered by the robe of a dead Death Eater.
"Pro . . . Severus," Harry forced out the name he had never dared to speak aloud as he reached down to wipe the mud from the beloved features.
Severus Snape moaned so faintly, Harry could barely hear him. His breathing was raspy and irregular. Harry looked him over, but other than his head wound and the scratches on his arms and legs could see no obvious wounds. He started to panic. Harry looked around frantically, but all he could see were the dead bodies strewn carelessly across the muddy landscape.
Harry's attention focused on his Severus as he groaned. His panic died down when he saw Snape open his eyes and look at him. Slowly, with his arm trembling, Snape reached up and touched his hair gently, his touch and the look in his eyes fulfilling all of Harry's dreams. He reached down and gently clasped the hand touching his face and kissed the potion-stained palm.
Harry could see his love trying to say something; he didn't have the energy and the small cough he gave had mud slipping down his lips, onto his cheek. Harry let go of Severus' hand, pushed him gently on his side, and rubbed his back until Snape threw up the mud he'd inhaled.
After panting with exhaustion, Snape managed to murmur words of affection to his Potter.
He looked up and began to speak; his eyes seemed to glisten and focus slightly beyond Harry. "I love you. I can finally say the words out loud. We won. We won, my darling. And it was worth it; in the end it was worth it. You would be proud of him, I know you would." He whispered harshly.
Harry was delighted to hear the words of love and triumph, but at the end of Severus' speech, he was bewildered. Him? Who was 'him?'
Severus' body convulsed, and Harry frantically tried to hold him still. "No!" Harry cried. "You can't leave me. I love you so much. I can't do it without you. Please don't leave me, too."
"I'll never leave you!" Severus cried weakly. "You left me! I know you couldn't help it. I know that it had to happen that way. For our boy to live. You would be so proud of him, James. He's the best boy in the world. Smart, like you, with your beautiful black hair and so proud. I see you in him everyday, so amazed when I see myself in this miracle we created."
Harry froze at the words he was hearing. What? No! His father and Severus Snape couldn't have been lovers! He was the son of James and Lily Potter. Right?
He was in love with his Potions professor, not his father. Harry couldn't hold onto that thought.
After several moments of being blind and deaf to the world around him, Harry finally heard the words his dying, bel- . . fath- . . . man was saying:
"I hope he knows how proud I am. I couldn't show it, my darling husband. But he is my life; would do anything for him. Anything. Hope he knows. Hope he finds love. I hope . . ." his voice trailed off into a raspy cough.
Severus reached his hand out, once more going over Harry's shoulder, to someone only he could see. "I wish I could say goodbye and tell our Harry how much I love him. But I can't wait anymore. I'm coming, James, I am going home."
And there was such a smile of love and tenderness on his face that Harry would remember all his life, and it gave him the strength to go on when he buried the man he had adored, his father, and let go of his dreams of a hopeless future. That smile haunted his dreams but forced him to have hope that, one day, he would be loved and love with all of his might.
It was a smile he'd share with his lover and husband on the day he gave birth to his most precious creation, his son Severus James "Serg" Malfoy-Potter.