Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

This is a parody of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, which used to be on my site, The Desert Colossus for a brief period of time. Please read & review!

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Announcer: From Hyrule Castle Town studios in Hyrule, it's WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? And now, your host, Regis Philbin
*Regis walks out onto the stage and puts his hands together*
Regis: Thank you, thank you. It is time again for Who Wants to Be *pause* a Millionaire. We have several contestants just *emphasis* itching to get into that hot seat. They are:
*Light shines on contestant #1*
Regis: Ganondorf Dragmire, a self made buisness man, who specializes in *reads card agin* Thievery? How does that work Ganondorf?
Ganondorf: I beat people up and steal their money.
Regis: Fair enough.
*Light shines off of Ganondorf*
Ganondorf: Hey, what the hell?
*Light shines on Contestant #2*
Regis: Link, says here he is the "Hero of Time." Hmmm, so you... save people?
Link: Totally.
Regis: Any details?
Link: *ponders*
*puts finger up, but then puts it down and ponders again*
Nope. That's about it.
Regis: Alright, Contestant number three is...
*Lights on Contestant #3*
Regis: ... Zelda, a Princess. Welcome your highness.
Zelda: Was that sarcastic? If it was sarcatsic...
Regis: No, no, no. Now it's time for the fastest finger question. Here it is:
*Spotlights sweep around and suspenseful music plays*
Regis: Put the following Games in the order of which they take place.
a. Ocarina of Time
b. Link to the Past
c. Legend of Zelda
d. Adventure of Link
*More music plays as contestants pick answers*
Regis: Alright, and the order is: A, B, C, and D. And the winner with the fastest time is:
*None of the contestant blocks light up*
Regis: No one got it? No one? For the sake of pe... it was ABCD!!! How stupid can you people be?! Alright fine, I'll pick one. You.
*Regis points ambiguously*
Ganondorf: Me?
Regis: Sure, I could use a laugh.
Ganondorf: Ha, ha! Take that, Mr. Hero of Time! In your face.
Regis: Welcome Mr. Dragmire.
Ganondorf: Ganondorf
Regis: Alright then, Ganondorf.
Ganondorf: Ganon.
Regis: Let's get to the question. Alright, for $100 Rupees: How many Rupees can a Child's Wallet hold. A. 999 B. 1 Million C. 99 D. 500
Ganondorf: B
Regis: *pauses* Final Answer?
Ganondorf: No.
Regis: Okay then... why don't you pick another one-
Ganondorf: B
Regis: But, you just--
Ganondorf: B
Regis: Alright, then, B. Confident?
Ganondorf: What do you think?
Regis: *thinking* I think you're an idiot.
Fine, is it B?
*buzzer*
I'm sorry, the correct answer was--
Ganondorf: B
Regis: No, it was C.
Ganondorf: It was B.
Regis: Moving on--
Ganondorf: I want my $100 Rupees.
Regis: No, now go! Guards!
*Hyrulian Guards come and drag Ganondorf off the stage*
Ganondorf: I'll be waiting for you outside Philbin! Watch your back!
Regis: Hey, Hero boy, get up here. It's your turn.
Link: I'm on TV!
*Link runs up and jumps into the seat*
Regis: Welcome Link, are you ready to play Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Link: Totally
Regis: Alright, for 100 Rupees. Who is the Hero... ach, who makes up these things? Oh, anyways, who is the Hero of Time?
a. Link
b. Ganondorf
c. Zelda
d. Regis
You must be joking, only a complete idiot would miss this...
Link: I want to call a friend.
Regis: Oh, of course. Our friends at Hyrulian Phone Service will phone a firend for you.
*telephone next to Regis rings*
Regis: Excuse me for a second. Hello?
Link: Dude, I need some help.
Regis: What the... you cannot call me! *hangs up*
Link: Bummer.
Regis: What's your answer?
Link: I'd like to poll the audience.
Regis: Fine, everyone pick your choice on the keypads at your feet.
*shock sound, someone yells "ow"*
Regis: Please do not lick the keypads.
*music plays as the audience polls*
Regis and the results are:
*poll screen shows 0% for every question*
Link: Bummer. Dude, use 5/5.
Regis: It's 50/50
Link: Okay, fitty/fitty
Regis: Fifty... oh fine. Computer, please take away two of the wrong answers.
Link: Dude, you can talk to a computer. *bangs on screen* Can I have a cheeseburger?
Regis: Okay, two left. a. Link and d. Regis You can get this.
Link: Dude, it's me! A!
Regis: Finally, a correct answer. You win a 100 Rupees.
Link: I'm done.
Regis: What? You can't.... are you stu-- of fine. Just go.
*buzzer sounds*
That's all the time we have tonight. I would like to thank all of our contestants, on second thought. I hope I never have to be in the smae room with you people.
Zelda: What about me?
Regis: I'm sorry, we have no time.
Zelda: Guards!
*Regis come out and drag Regis backstage. Gun shot is heard.*
Zelda: I win again! Join me next time for Who Wants to be a Billionaire?
Announcer: Millionaire
Zelda: Was that a correction? Guards!

THE END... We hope