Disclaimer: I do not own Robin Hood.

Author's note: Set after series 2. Two part story detailing the thoughts of Allan and Will. Slash.

100…99….98….97…96…95

Will was counting backwards again. He seemed to spend a lot of time doing it lately. It was something his dad had taught him when he was young. If he ever wanted to clear his head and stop thinking about something, he just started counting. It was supposed to clear your mind of all thought, but Will was beginning to doubt that it worked. The amount of time he spent counting was unreal.

It wasn't Djaq's fault. He had chosen this. He had jumped at the chance to stay in the Holy Land with her. He did love her. He did want to be with her. He was sure that he wanted the life she could provide – a home, family, growing old together. He turned to look at her while she moved slightly in her sleep. The other life would never have lasted. He could never have had all this if he had stayed with….

94….93….92…91…90…..89

They had a good life here, he reminded himself. Will had convinced everyone he was happy. He had picked up work with one of Djaq's family and he was enjoying it – maybe because it gave him something else to think about. It was times like this when he had too much time to think. And his thoughts always returned to one thing..

88…87…..86….85……84……83

He had done what he had promised himself and put as much distance between them as possible. He was just torturing himself by thinking about it all the time. Will had no indication that he had ever felt anything more than friendship for him. Will always went back to the times spent in the forest. They had become close friends very quickly and the effect of these new feelings had scared Will more then anything. Will realized he was thinking about it again and went back to counting.

82…..81….80…..79….78….77…..76…..75…..74

Djaq was great, he thought, as he turned to watch her sleeping again. He was so relieved when she had said she loved him. It gave him an out. He had thought that he could get away from everything during the whole "Sir Guy's right hand man" debacle, but he still couldn't check the overwhelming feelings he had had. His mind always came back to the same point.

Allan

73….72….71….70….69…..68…67…66……65……64…..63

Even saying his name awoke all the longing and desire that Will would never admit to, let alone act on. Maybe his punishment for feeling this way was to spend the rest of his life counting backwards.

62….61….60….59…..58…..57…..56….55…..54…..53…..52….51

Will couldn't dwell on it. If he did, he would eventually get up from this bed and throw himself back across the continents for just one word, one look, one small touch..

Anything.

He would keep checking, and moving and counting and eventually it would get better. Deep down he knew he was kidding himself but pretending and counting backwards were all he had left.

Will allowed himself one more thought before starting again at 100.

"What is he doing, right now?"