Doggett snatched the food stuffs he had just perchased from the counter and rushed as
fast as he could from the canteen. He found himself dashing down the hall to the direction of the
lifts and halting as he reached his destination. He looked up to see that the lift was currently
on the fourth floor so would be down pretty soon, Doggett smiled as he thought about the two
large doughnuts he had perchased to eat after the large bacon baguette and coffee he was holding
in a brown paper bag under his arm.
"Hi" A familiar voice said cheerfully from behind, Doggett turned his head to see agent Willmore
with a smile and a casefile in his hand.
"Hi, yours?" Doggett asked nosily motioning to the file
"Yep, me and Chow have to go to Chicago for a few days, we leave this afternoon" He said
"Oh right anything interesting?"
"Nope, just a boring old field trip"
Suddenly the doors to the elevator glided open for the agents to step inside, Doggett rushed
in faster than the speed of light and pressed down before Willmore had a chance.
"Hey I think this is the first time I've got into this lift to find it empty" Willmore joked
"Hey look" Doggett said as the doors closed. He pointed to a large framed picture of Skinner
on the wall, he was smiling proudly wearing a suit and tie with his badge on show. Beneath the
picture were the words 'Assistant Director Walter Skinner'.
"Never noticed that before" Willmore commented
"Who does he think he is exactly? I don't see anyone else here's picture in the elevators"
An idea suddenly sprang to Doggett's mind. He felt the urge to suddenly impress agent Willmore
with a practical joke, afterall Willmore was the most popular agent at the headquaters and if he
did something funny maybe it would get around to all of Willmore's friends and Doggett could
finally fit in with the guys.
"Hey do you dare me?" He found himself asking as he reached into his pocket to retrieve his
X-men pencil tin.
"To do what?" Willmore asked, he watched as Doggett took out a black pen from his case and put
two and two together, "No way, he'd kill you if he found out"
"How's he gonna find out?" Doggett asked as he removed the lid to the permanent marker, he leaned
nearer to the picture and began to sketch on the glass concealing it.
"Hey that isn't a good idea Doggett" Willmore said as he watched
"Oh it'll be a laugh" Doggett said as he stood back to admire the large bushy eyebrows he had
drawn. He laughed childishly before moving on to a moustache and a funny hairstyle.
"Look" He said as he stood back, Willmore couldn't help but snigger silently at the picture, it
did actually look very funny.
Suddenly the elevator came to a halt and Doggett quickly placed his pen and pencil tin inside his
jacket before the doors glided open.
"Quick" He said as he departed the lift dragging Willmore by his sleeve, they rushed down the
corridor until they were safely out of view and burst into a fit of laughter.
"You're bad" Willmore said, "Wait until this gets out"
"As long as it doesn't get to Skinner"
"Don't worry my pals won't tell"
Great, Doggett thought, I'm finally getting in with the popular guys!
"Oh well, I should be going, I have to get some stuff and then pick up Chow from his mothers"
Willmore said as he began to stroll into the direction of his and Chow's office.
"Right catch you later" Doggett smiled with delight as he turned to walk in the opposit direction
to his and Scully's office. He rushed up to the door and pushed it open to find Scully perched
at her desk reading through a casefile.
"You took your time" She said bitchily, "Did you get me any lunch?"
"Er..." Doggett suddenly remembered that she had specifically asked him to get her a sandwich
and a can of coke.
"Let me guess...you forgot" She said, "Again"
"I...I had a lot on my mind, I can't help forgetting Scully" He said as he menouvered over to
his desk and placed two little brown paper bags on it.
"You can have one of my doughnuts" He said as he began to go on a guilt trip
"Thats big of you" She said with sarcasm
"And my coffee" He said as he removed the warm disposible cup from the bag.
Scully smiled with delight,
"Thats more like it"
He rushed over and handed her the cup and held out the bag containing his doughnuts. Scully
reached in and it was at that moment that Doggett realised that they only had one of his
favourite pink-iced ones today so he had to get a plain one to go with it. What if Scully
took the pink-iced one?
He instinctively shot out his hand clasped it around her wrist so as to stop her from reaching
inside. He suddenly realised how stupid it was to do such a thing, she looked up in shock as
if to ask why he was holding her wrist preventing it from movement.
"Doggett!" She said as she suddenly came over all angry, "What the hell-"
"I...thought...er..." He thought hard for a few seconds, He glanced over at Mulder's UFO picture
on the wall and an idea sprang to mind, "I thought I would tell you something"
Now she looked completely bemused
"Er...I heard a rumour that there was a UFO sighting last night...and now everyone's saying that
we shouldn't eat...er...sugar because they could have contaminated it"
As soon as he finished his far-out sentence he instantly wished he had not said a word. How
stupid was his excuse? Did he even say it? Would she ever believe it?
"Doggett!" She squealed, "I can't believe you! If you don't want me to have a doughnut you
only have to say" She said, "Now let go!" She screeched as she tugged her hand away from his
grasp.
"I...er I was just joking Scully" He lied,
"You were joking? Why? Was there any point to your lame 'joke'?" She bitched
Doggett instantly guessed that she was having a bad day.
"Er...sorry, here have a doughnut" He said as he reached in to find the squashed plain one.
"I don't like those ones" She said as he produced the sad excuse for a doughnut, "Did you get
any other-"
"NO!" He found himself shouting and pulling the bag closer as if to protect it.
"Gees, you really are in a mood today Doggett" Scully said, "Have you been drinking?"
"No...I...oh fine, here take it!" He said angrily as he shoved the bag containing the pink-iced
doughnut in her direction, "Go on have it!"
Scully couldn't believe what she was seeing. First he offers her a doughnut but grabs her arm to
stop her from taking one, then tells her a completely pointless UFO story and has a fit because
she wanted an iced doughnut instead of a plain one. What was wrong with him?
"Doggett are you okay?"
"Yes...take it!" He squealed sending an echo around the room
"No I don't want it now" Scully said noting the wierdness in his actions.
"You don't want it?" He said sounding calmer, "Great" He smiled as he took the bag over to his
desk. He was so happy that he got to eat the doughnut after all.
Scully watched as he plonked in his chair and removed the doughnut from the bag, had she seen
that? Did he have a fit in the middle of the room and then walk over as calm as day to his
desk with what seemed to be a smile?
The room fell silent for a while minus the rustling of Doggett's lunch, he stuffed the remains
of the doughnut into his mouth before moving on to the bacon baguette.
"So, any cases?" Scully asked in an attempt to break the silence
Doggett suddenly remembered that he was supposed to stop off at Skinner's office on his journey
to the canteen but in his cack to catch the snack cart he had forgotten.
"Er...I..."
"Forgot" Scully said with sarcasm, "Suppose I'll have to go" She said as she pushed her swivel
chair out from beneath her desk.
"I didn't forget...it just slipped my mind" Doggett protested.
Don't they both mean the same thing? Scully asked herself but couldn't be bothered to get into
an argument over it. Instead she walked over to the office door.
Doggett took a huge bite from his baguette and watched as Scully pulled the door open,
"Oh shit" He grumbled to himelf as a piece of bacon glided onto the desk, quick as a shot his
hand reached out to snatch it up. A loud ruckas suddenly occured in the doorway, in confusion
Doggett looked to see the door ajar. He shrugged his shoulders and continued with his lunch,
then he spotted a pair of pointy boots sticking through the doorway on the floor.
"Oh" Scully's voice murmered from the direction of the boots, Doggett jumped up from his chair
and dashed over to the door and tugged it open. Scully layed on the floor face-down half in and
half out of the office.
"Oh...er..." Doggett tried in vain to contain his laughter, "Are you okay Scully?"
"Er...yeah" She said through unbelievable embarrassment. She quickly pulled herself up and
straightened her trouser suit before rushing off down the hall to the lifts.
Once out of view from Doggett she sighed deeply at the incident, why did that happen? Infront
of Doggett of all people?
The doors to the elevator glided open to reveal a large picture of a man with a dodgey hairstyle,
big eyebrows and a curly moustache. She looked at the vulgar man with disgust as she stepped
into the lift and pushed the rightful button. The doors drifted closed and Scully took another
look at the picture, on closer inspection she noticed the words 'assistant director walter
skinner' beneath it.
It was at that point she realised the picture had been vandalised by a stupid and childish agent.
Doggett screwed the clingfilm from his baguette into a ball and tossed it into the bin,
as usual it missed and landed by the door instead. He then removed the plain doughnut from
the bag and eyed it with interest, could he bring himself to eat the tasteless dough? He tossed
the decision around in his mind before deciding to save it for later. He placed it back in the
bag and into the draw in his desk.
He sat back in his swivel chair and sighed with fulfilment and contentment at his wonderful
lunch. At that moment Doggett caught sight of Scully's computer, suspicion filled his mind as to
what she got up to on there day and night. Every time he entered the office she was sat there
typing away and connected to the internet.
Doggett found himself standing from his chair and dashing over to the computer to find it
switched on, a huge face starred back from the screen and Doggett recognised it to be the actor
from Angel and Buffy the vampire slayer. He took a seat on her chair and realised it was a
web site and couldn't help but laugh at the fact she visited an Angel website.
Doggett read the welcome message to one side of the screen,
"Hi welcome to my website dedicated to the actor David Boreanaz or otherwise known as Angel.
My name is Dana and..." Doggett paused with shock, was this Scully's website? He laughed silently
and continued to read,
"My name is Dana and I'm his biggest fan. I watch Buffy and Angel all the time and have met
David on several occasions, as a matter of fact I dated him for a while and am still good
friends with him" Liar! Doggett thought, she was actually pretending that she had dated David
Boreanaz! He scrolled down the screen to find a guestbook and clicked on it with speed.
Doggett looked up and down the messages, all women cacking for Angel's phone number from his
apparent 'friend' Dana. Doggett couldn't help but click on the little 'sign my guestbook' sign
at the top of the screen.
He giggled childishly as a panel appeared asking his name,
"Hmm, Jack" He said as he typed in the name, "Jack Boreanaz" He chuckled as he began to write
his message,
"Hi all, as you can guess by my name, I am in fact a relative of David's. His cousin that is"
Doggett laughed in a childish manner as he typed his message, "Glad to see so many fans out
there, David would be proud to know he has so many. I would love to hear from you Dana" He said
aloud as he typed the message with speed.
THIRTY MINUTES LATER
Doggett sat back in his own chair and placed his feet on the desk. He couldn't help
but laugh silently when he thought about Scully's website and the fact that she pretended to
know Angel.
The door to the office swung open revealing Scully,
"Gee you took your time" Doggett said
"I know, I had to show something to Skinner" She said
"Show him what?" He asked nosily as he fiddled with a pencil.
"Somebody vandalised his picture in the elevator. He is so upset about it he only put it up
this morning"
Doggett suddenly remembered the incident in the lift. His heart began to beat at an incredible
speed,
"What? You showed him the picture?" He asked
"Yes, did you know about it?"
"No of course not" He lied, "But...but he doesn't know who did it does he?" He cacked
"Not yet" She replied as she strolled over to her desk and took a seat.
Doggett sighed with relief,
"But the cctv footage will show who is responsible" She added
A feeling of utter dread and shock came over Doggett. He knew instantly how much trouble he was
in,
"Cc...cctv?" He stuttered, "In the elevator?"
"Yes, Skinner's just waiting for someone to deliver the tape from this morning" She said as she
looked at her computer and suddenly remembered that she had left it connected to the internet.
She noticed that her David Boreanaz website was fulfilling the screen and she had a cack-fit
as she rushed to see if any more visitors had signed her guestbook. She heard the sounds of the
office door slam shut and looked up to see Doggett absent from the office, his chair was spinning
beside his desk. Was it humanly possible to leave a room so fast? Why had he left the room at
all?
She shrugged her shoulders and returned her attention to her website. She clicked on her guest-
book to see if anyone had signed during her short absence from the computer.
WILLMORE'S OFFICE
Doggett burst into the room to find it occupied by Reyes. He looked left and right still
to find Willmore gone.
"Wheres...wheres Willmore?" He asked in a cacky fit
Reyes quickly looked up from the computer screen. Shit! She thought to herself, she had been
caught red handed looking through Willmore's personal computer files. She noticed that Doggett
was having some kind of stressful fit, maybe he hasn't noticed she thought to herself. Surely
he would ask why I'm here if he had, she decided.
"Well? Where is he?"
"Oh er he had to get Chow from his mother's house" She said, "Why the fuck do you want to know?"
She asked as she lit up a cigarette.
"Oh no" Doggett said as he suddenly remembered that Willmore and Chow were going to Chicago
to investigate a case. He delved into his pocket to retrieve his mobile phone, his attempt
was to speed-dial Willmore's number but as usual the phone was flat. He quickly dashed over to
the telephone upon Chow's desk and picked up the reciever.
It then occured to him that he didn't know Willmore's number,
"What's Willmore's number?" He asked with cakiness
"I dunno" Reyes replied
"WELL FIND OUT!" Doggett found himself yelling to the lazy agent.
"Who the hell do you think you are, Mr Bigshit?" She asked using her usual foul-mouth, "Get
the fucking number yourself!"
"But how?"
"Go and ask Skinner, he's bound to have it" She said giving him a big dirty look.
Doggett felt like screaming with frustration, all he wanted to do was ring Willmore. But why?
He asked himself, what could Willmore do?
He placed the reciever back on the phone, Scully said that Skinner was waiting for the tape
to be delivered, but from where? Would he be able to somehow stop the delivery?
Maybe if he could get Skinner to leave his office he could volunteer to wait for the tape thus
he could tamper with it and make himself unidentifiable. He found his idea to be perfect and
quickly dashed from the office and to the elevators.
SKINNER'S OFFICE
Doggett knocked loudly on the door. He felt his stomach do another summersalt as a
dreadful nervous feeling crept over him. What if Skinner had seen the tape by now? What if he
was watching it the moment Doggett walked into the room?
"Come in" Skinner's voice called, Doggett slowly pushed the door open and gazed into the room.
Skinner sat lonesome at his desk with the vandalised picture infront of him.
"Agent Doggett" He said in a calm manner,
"Er sir I need to speak with you" He said as he entered the room,
"Not now agent, I'm busy"
"Er it won't take long" Doggett protested.
Skinner sighed heavily
"Very well"
"I er...recieved a phonecall" He lied, "You're urgently needed at er..." He tried to think of
a place quite a distance to give him plenty of time to see the tape.
"Urgently needed where agent Doggett?"
"Er Scruffy Lake" He blurted out,
"Scruffy Lake?" Skinner asked with confusion "Wheres that?"
Now what? How could he tell him where it was when he just made it up?
"Er...it's about er-"
"Tell them I can't, I'm waiting on a delivery" Skinner said matter-of-factly.
"A delivery? I could get that for you" Doggett said trying to sound helpful
"No you can't" He said "I have to be here, tell them I can't make it"
Great, Doggett thought. He realised his little plan hadn't worked, Skinner had no intentions
of leaving the office.
"Before you go agent Doggett would you like to have a coffee with me?" Skinner suggested.
Shock fell over Doggett's body he had never, ever been invited to share coffee with the assistant
director, only priviledged agents dared to do so. Doggett was so shocked that he almost forgot
about the tape,
"Y...yes of course sir" He said
"Good, I have mine black with two sugars" Skinner said as he pointed to the small coffee machine
to one side of the room. Doggett quickly rushed over to get them both a coffee,
"You wouldn't happen to know anything about my picture would you agent Doggett?" Skinner asked
with curiosity. He had been thinking about who could have done such a thing all day but
strangely he hadn't even considered Doggett.
Oh no, Doggett thought, did he know something or was he just being paranoid?
"Er...what picture?" He asked trying to sound all innocent
"This picture" Skinner replied as he held up the picture for Doggett to see
"Er...no sir...who would do such a thing?"
"Thats what I would like to know but I hope the person responsible has life insurance" He
said in an angry and menacing tone.
Doggett gulped hard with fear, he quickly got them both a coffee and rushed to the desk, he
knew that he had to find some way to get him out of the office.
"Here you go" He said as he placed the coffee infront of him. Skinner snatched up the cup
without so much as a thankyou,
"God help the person who did this" He muttered as he sipped the coffee.
Doggett felt another summersalt erupt in his stomach, he sat in the chair opposit Skinner and
took a sip from his cup.
"Er maybe it was just a joke" Doggett said, Skinner's face turned to an angry grimace, his eyes
narrowed forming an almost scary face. Doggett felt a shiver pass through his body,
"Nobody makes a joke out of me agent Doggett, anyone who believes they can do so would be
incredibly brave or just plain dumb" He said with a voice so angry it was almost a whisper
escaping his clenched teeth.
Doggett realised at that moment how serious the issue was, he wished desperately that he had
never done it. He wished he could turn back time and change the whole thing.
Suddenly a knock at the door caused Doggett to cack big time, was it the delivery?
"Come in" Skinner called. The door opened to reveal a small man holding some kind of machinery.
He plodded into the office and placed it beside Skinner's television, Doggett instantly
realised it was equipment to watch the tape with.
"Er...maybe you should watch it later sir...you really should get to Scruffy Lake" Doggett
cacked.
"Scruffy Lake can wait, I've been waiting for this moment all day" Skinner said as he sipped
his coffee. The man set about connecting the machine to the TV,
"But...but..." Doggett thought hard, "They said it was urgent"
"They can wait, I suggest you watch this tape with me agent Doggett, I need a witness" Skinner
said causing Doggett to shake in his shoes.
"Er I really think you ought to get to Scruffy Lake sir...I could get the directions for you"
Skinner ignored Doggett's request and watched as the man connected the machine to the TV.
Doggett wondered how he would see this through, how could he sit there while Skinner watched
the tape of him vandalising the picture?
"You will need this to rewind or fast forward" The man said as he walked over and handed Skinner
a remote control, "Its all yours" He added as he menouverd to the door and left Doggett alone
with Skinner in the office.
Doggett felt like crying, he wished the ground would swallow him up, how could he escape this
situation?
Skinner played the tape and a vision of the lift fulfilled the TV screen. The doors to the lift
glided open and an image of Doggett and Willmore entering caused Doggett to look away.
Skinner sat silently watching the footage, he saw Doggett remove a pen from a pencil tin and
begin to squiggle on Skinner's beloved picture.
Doggett couldn't believe what was happening, he looked at Skinner to see what kind of expression
covered his face but only to discover he sat blankly staring at the TV. Was that a good sign?
Skinner switched off the TV and placed the remote control on his desk.
Doggett waited for some kind of reaction but he just sat there silent, should he say something?
Should he just leave the room? Apologise?
Doggett felt uncomfortable and found himself subconciously fidgeting with his tie, he looked
at Skinner who sat there still blank and staring at the TV.
"Er...I can explain sir...I did it so I could be accepted into Willmore's gang I didn't mean
to cause such an uproar" He said only for no reaction from Skinner. Was he okay?
"Never in my life" Skinner said quietly, "Have I been so angry" He said now turning to face
Doggett,
"Sorry sir I-"
"I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO ANGRY!" He bellowed as he rose from his chair
"Sir I-" Doggett stood from his position, "I'm sorry!"
"I ASKED YOU IF YOU KNEW ABOUT IT! I OFFERED YOU COFFEE!" He shouted almost losing his voice
as anger took control of his body.
Doggett had never seen Skinner so angry in all his life, what was he going to do to him?
He was shaking with rage and red, Doggett was almost certain he could see Skinner's specatcles
steaming up. Doggett almost shit himself when Skinner suddenly marched toward him,
"Noooooo!" He squealed as he rushed to the door, "Help me!" He shouted as he rushed out of
the office. He ran with incredible speed out into the hall and headed for the elevators, he
could hear the sounds of Skinner's loafers thumping down the hall behind,
"Help me!" He squealed as the doors to the elevator opened just in time. Doggett rushed inside
and pushed the down button. He cacked as the doors closed slowly and Skinner was gaining on
him, the bespectacled man was running faster than he had ever ran before.
"AGENT DOGGETT!" He shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RUN AWAY!"
"Aaaah!" He screamed as Skinner's angry and red face got closer and closer to the lift. The
doors glided closed and Doggett sighed with relief.
He took deep breaths as the lift travelled to the ground floor, moments later the doors opened
and Doggett stepped out. He quickly checked each direction to see Skinner absent, great he
thought just enough time to hide.
"AGENT DOGGET!" Skinner called, Doggett turned to see him running down the staircase,
"Aaaaah!" He screamed and rushed down the hall to his and Scully's office.
"Oh my god, its David Boreanaz's cousin!" Reyes said excitedly as she and Scully looked at
the fake message left by Doggett on her website.
"I know!" Scully smiled, suddenly the door burst open and Doggett rushed into the room with
speed,
"Aaaah!" He yelled in a panic and he dove under his desk,
"Doggett?" Scully asked as she looked on in confusion. Seconds later Skinner came rushing into
the room,
"HOW DARE YOU RUN FROM ME!" He bellowed with anger as he instantly saw Doggett 'hiding' under
his desk, he dashed over and grabbed ahold of his leg, "GET OUT, GET OUT!" He yelled
"Help me!" Doggett screamed like a girl, "Aaaah no please don't hurt me!"
"GET OUT AGENT DOGGETT!" Skinner demanded, "GET...GET...GET..." He suddenly began to choke on
his words due to his furios rage, Skinner tugged hard on Doggett's leg when suddenly an almighty
fart fluttered from his arse. He stopped in his tracks and dropped Doggett's leg to the floor.
Oh my god, Doggett thought to himself, did Skinner just fart?
"Sir?" Scully asked, "Whats going on? Are you okay?"
Skinner suddenly felt his bodily heat rise up before darkness fulfilled his vision.
WASHINGTON GENERAL HOSPITAL
"This is your fault!" Scully said to Doggett as she paced up and down in the waiting
room, "Why didn't you tell me it was you? It was stupid for you to go alone and confess...I
could have gone with you...you know how he reacts when you do something wrong...I could have
calmed him down before he had this fit" She said with stress.
"I...I couldn't and I didn't confess. I went up to him to prevent him from seeing the tape"
Doggett said matter-of-factly.
"What? You were trying to hide it? You didn't even have the guts to admit it?" She asked full
of rage,
"I...I didn't want to get Willmore into trouble" Doggett lied trying to sound all kind hearted
and good. Really he wouldn't like it more if Willmore took all the blame, at least Skinner
would be soft on him.
"What?" Scully asked in shock, "Willmore was in on this?"
"Yes...in fact he made me do it" He added to his lie, "He said that if I didn't he would...er...
do it and blame me"
Scully couldn't believe her ears, was her precious Willmore capable of that?
CONTINUED IN PART TWO...
fast as he could from the canteen. He found himself dashing down the hall to the direction of the
lifts and halting as he reached his destination. He looked up to see that the lift was currently
on the fourth floor so would be down pretty soon, Doggett smiled as he thought about the two
large doughnuts he had perchased to eat after the large bacon baguette and coffee he was holding
in a brown paper bag under his arm.
"Hi" A familiar voice said cheerfully from behind, Doggett turned his head to see agent Willmore
with a smile and a casefile in his hand.
"Hi, yours?" Doggett asked nosily motioning to the file
"Yep, me and Chow have to go to Chicago for a few days, we leave this afternoon" He said
"Oh right anything interesting?"
"Nope, just a boring old field trip"
Suddenly the doors to the elevator glided open for the agents to step inside, Doggett rushed
in faster than the speed of light and pressed down before Willmore had a chance.
"Hey I think this is the first time I've got into this lift to find it empty" Willmore joked
"Hey look" Doggett said as the doors closed. He pointed to a large framed picture of Skinner
on the wall, he was smiling proudly wearing a suit and tie with his badge on show. Beneath the
picture were the words 'Assistant Director Walter Skinner'.
"Never noticed that before" Willmore commented
"Who does he think he is exactly? I don't see anyone else here's picture in the elevators"
An idea suddenly sprang to Doggett's mind. He felt the urge to suddenly impress agent Willmore
with a practical joke, afterall Willmore was the most popular agent at the headquaters and if he
did something funny maybe it would get around to all of Willmore's friends and Doggett could
finally fit in with the guys.
"Hey do you dare me?" He found himself asking as he reached into his pocket to retrieve his
X-men pencil tin.
"To do what?" Willmore asked, he watched as Doggett took out a black pen from his case and put
two and two together, "No way, he'd kill you if he found out"
"How's he gonna find out?" Doggett asked as he removed the lid to the permanent marker, he leaned
nearer to the picture and began to sketch on the glass concealing it.
"Hey that isn't a good idea Doggett" Willmore said as he watched
"Oh it'll be a laugh" Doggett said as he stood back to admire the large bushy eyebrows he had
drawn. He laughed childishly before moving on to a moustache and a funny hairstyle.
"Look" He said as he stood back, Willmore couldn't help but snigger silently at the picture, it
did actually look very funny.
Suddenly the elevator came to a halt and Doggett quickly placed his pen and pencil tin inside his
jacket before the doors glided open.
"Quick" He said as he departed the lift dragging Willmore by his sleeve, they rushed down the
corridor until they were safely out of view and burst into a fit of laughter.
"You're bad" Willmore said, "Wait until this gets out"
"As long as it doesn't get to Skinner"
"Don't worry my pals won't tell"
Great, Doggett thought, I'm finally getting in with the popular guys!
"Oh well, I should be going, I have to get some stuff and then pick up Chow from his mothers"
Willmore said as he began to stroll into the direction of his and Chow's office.
"Right catch you later" Doggett smiled with delight as he turned to walk in the opposit direction
to his and Scully's office. He rushed up to the door and pushed it open to find Scully perched
at her desk reading through a casefile.
"You took your time" She said bitchily, "Did you get me any lunch?"
"Er..." Doggett suddenly remembered that she had specifically asked him to get her a sandwich
and a can of coke.
"Let me guess...you forgot" She said, "Again"
"I...I had a lot on my mind, I can't help forgetting Scully" He said as he menouvered over to
his desk and placed two little brown paper bags on it.
"You can have one of my doughnuts" He said as he began to go on a guilt trip
"Thats big of you" She said with sarcasm
"And my coffee" He said as he removed the warm disposible cup from the bag.
Scully smiled with delight,
"Thats more like it"
He rushed over and handed her the cup and held out the bag containing his doughnuts. Scully
reached in and it was at that moment that Doggett realised that they only had one of his
favourite pink-iced ones today so he had to get a plain one to go with it. What if Scully
took the pink-iced one?
He instinctively shot out his hand clasped it around her wrist so as to stop her from reaching
inside. He suddenly realised how stupid it was to do such a thing, she looked up in shock as
if to ask why he was holding her wrist preventing it from movement.
"Doggett!" She said as she suddenly came over all angry, "What the hell-"
"I...thought...er..." He thought hard for a few seconds, He glanced over at Mulder's UFO picture
on the wall and an idea sprang to mind, "I thought I would tell you something"
Now she looked completely bemused
"Er...I heard a rumour that there was a UFO sighting last night...and now everyone's saying that
we shouldn't eat...er...sugar because they could have contaminated it"
As soon as he finished his far-out sentence he instantly wished he had not said a word. How
stupid was his excuse? Did he even say it? Would she ever believe it?
"Doggett!" She squealed, "I can't believe you! If you don't want me to have a doughnut you
only have to say" She said, "Now let go!" She screeched as she tugged her hand away from his
grasp.
"I...er I was just joking Scully" He lied,
"You were joking? Why? Was there any point to your lame 'joke'?" She bitched
Doggett instantly guessed that she was having a bad day.
"Er...sorry, here have a doughnut" He said as he reached in to find the squashed plain one.
"I don't like those ones" She said as he produced the sad excuse for a doughnut, "Did you get
any other-"
"NO!" He found himself shouting and pulling the bag closer as if to protect it.
"Gees, you really are in a mood today Doggett" Scully said, "Have you been drinking?"
"No...I...oh fine, here take it!" He said angrily as he shoved the bag containing the pink-iced
doughnut in her direction, "Go on have it!"
Scully couldn't believe what she was seeing. First he offers her a doughnut but grabs her arm to
stop her from taking one, then tells her a completely pointless UFO story and has a fit because
she wanted an iced doughnut instead of a plain one. What was wrong with him?
"Doggett are you okay?"
"Yes...take it!" He squealed sending an echo around the room
"No I don't want it now" Scully said noting the wierdness in his actions.
"You don't want it?" He said sounding calmer, "Great" He smiled as he took the bag over to his
desk. He was so happy that he got to eat the doughnut after all.
Scully watched as he plonked in his chair and removed the doughnut from the bag, had she seen
that? Did he have a fit in the middle of the room and then walk over as calm as day to his
desk with what seemed to be a smile?
The room fell silent for a while minus the rustling of Doggett's lunch, he stuffed the remains
of the doughnut into his mouth before moving on to the bacon baguette.
"So, any cases?" Scully asked in an attempt to break the silence
Doggett suddenly remembered that he was supposed to stop off at Skinner's office on his journey
to the canteen but in his cack to catch the snack cart he had forgotten.
"Er...I..."
"Forgot" Scully said with sarcasm, "Suppose I'll have to go" She said as she pushed her swivel
chair out from beneath her desk.
"I didn't forget...it just slipped my mind" Doggett protested.
Don't they both mean the same thing? Scully asked herself but couldn't be bothered to get into
an argument over it. Instead she walked over to the office door.
Doggett took a huge bite from his baguette and watched as Scully pulled the door open,
"Oh shit" He grumbled to himelf as a piece of bacon glided onto the desk, quick as a shot his
hand reached out to snatch it up. A loud ruckas suddenly occured in the doorway, in confusion
Doggett looked to see the door ajar. He shrugged his shoulders and continued with his lunch,
then he spotted a pair of pointy boots sticking through the doorway on the floor.
"Oh" Scully's voice murmered from the direction of the boots, Doggett jumped up from his chair
and dashed over to the door and tugged it open. Scully layed on the floor face-down half in and
half out of the office.
"Oh...er..." Doggett tried in vain to contain his laughter, "Are you okay Scully?"
"Er...yeah" She said through unbelievable embarrassment. She quickly pulled herself up and
straightened her trouser suit before rushing off down the hall to the lifts.
Once out of view from Doggett she sighed deeply at the incident, why did that happen? Infront
of Doggett of all people?
The doors to the elevator glided open to reveal a large picture of a man with a dodgey hairstyle,
big eyebrows and a curly moustache. She looked at the vulgar man with disgust as she stepped
into the lift and pushed the rightful button. The doors drifted closed and Scully took another
look at the picture, on closer inspection she noticed the words 'assistant director walter
skinner' beneath it.
It was at that point she realised the picture had been vandalised by a stupid and childish agent.
Doggett screwed the clingfilm from his baguette into a ball and tossed it into the bin,
as usual it missed and landed by the door instead. He then removed the plain doughnut from
the bag and eyed it with interest, could he bring himself to eat the tasteless dough? He tossed
the decision around in his mind before deciding to save it for later. He placed it back in the
bag and into the draw in his desk.
He sat back in his swivel chair and sighed with fulfilment and contentment at his wonderful
lunch. At that moment Doggett caught sight of Scully's computer, suspicion filled his mind as to
what she got up to on there day and night. Every time he entered the office she was sat there
typing away and connected to the internet.
Doggett found himself standing from his chair and dashing over to the computer to find it
switched on, a huge face starred back from the screen and Doggett recognised it to be the actor
from Angel and Buffy the vampire slayer. He took a seat on her chair and realised it was a
web site and couldn't help but laugh at the fact she visited an Angel website.
Doggett read the welcome message to one side of the screen,
"Hi welcome to my website dedicated to the actor David Boreanaz or otherwise known as Angel.
My name is Dana and..." Doggett paused with shock, was this Scully's website? He laughed silently
and continued to read,
"My name is Dana and I'm his biggest fan. I watch Buffy and Angel all the time and have met
David on several occasions, as a matter of fact I dated him for a while and am still good
friends with him" Liar! Doggett thought, she was actually pretending that she had dated David
Boreanaz! He scrolled down the screen to find a guestbook and clicked on it with speed.
Doggett looked up and down the messages, all women cacking for Angel's phone number from his
apparent 'friend' Dana. Doggett couldn't help but click on the little 'sign my guestbook' sign
at the top of the screen.
He giggled childishly as a panel appeared asking his name,
"Hmm, Jack" He said as he typed in the name, "Jack Boreanaz" He chuckled as he began to write
his message,
"Hi all, as you can guess by my name, I am in fact a relative of David's. His cousin that is"
Doggett laughed in a childish manner as he typed his message, "Glad to see so many fans out
there, David would be proud to know he has so many. I would love to hear from you Dana" He said
aloud as he typed the message with speed.
THIRTY MINUTES LATER
Doggett sat back in his own chair and placed his feet on the desk. He couldn't help
but laugh silently when he thought about Scully's website and the fact that she pretended to
know Angel.
The door to the office swung open revealing Scully,
"Gee you took your time" Doggett said
"I know, I had to show something to Skinner" She said
"Show him what?" He asked nosily as he fiddled with a pencil.
"Somebody vandalised his picture in the elevator. He is so upset about it he only put it up
this morning"
Doggett suddenly remembered the incident in the lift. His heart began to beat at an incredible
speed,
"What? You showed him the picture?" He asked
"Yes, did you know about it?"
"No of course not" He lied, "But...but he doesn't know who did it does he?" He cacked
"Not yet" She replied as she strolled over to her desk and took a seat.
Doggett sighed with relief,
"But the cctv footage will show who is responsible" She added
A feeling of utter dread and shock came over Doggett. He knew instantly how much trouble he was
in,
"Cc...cctv?" He stuttered, "In the elevator?"
"Yes, Skinner's just waiting for someone to deliver the tape from this morning" She said as she
looked at her computer and suddenly remembered that she had left it connected to the internet.
She noticed that her David Boreanaz website was fulfilling the screen and she had a cack-fit
as she rushed to see if any more visitors had signed her guestbook. She heard the sounds of the
office door slam shut and looked up to see Doggett absent from the office, his chair was spinning
beside his desk. Was it humanly possible to leave a room so fast? Why had he left the room at
all?
She shrugged her shoulders and returned her attention to her website. She clicked on her guest-
book to see if anyone had signed during her short absence from the computer.
WILLMORE'S OFFICE
Doggett burst into the room to find it occupied by Reyes. He looked left and right still
to find Willmore gone.
"Wheres...wheres Willmore?" He asked in a cacky fit
Reyes quickly looked up from the computer screen. Shit! She thought to herself, she had been
caught red handed looking through Willmore's personal computer files. She noticed that Doggett
was having some kind of stressful fit, maybe he hasn't noticed she thought to herself. Surely
he would ask why I'm here if he had, she decided.
"Well? Where is he?"
"Oh er he had to get Chow from his mother's house" She said, "Why the fuck do you want to know?"
She asked as she lit up a cigarette.
"Oh no" Doggett said as he suddenly remembered that Willmore and Chow were going to Chicago
to investigate a case. He delved into his pocket to retrieve his mobile phone, his attempt
was to speed-dial Willmore's number but as usual the phone was flat. He quickly dashed over to
the telephone upon Chow's desk and picked up the reciever.
It then occured to him that he didn't know Willmore's number,
"What's Willmore's number?" He asked with cakiness
"I dunno" Reyes replied
"WELL FIND OUT!" Doggett found himself yelling to the lazy agent.
"Who the hell do you think you are, Mr Bigshit?" She asked using her usual foul-mouth, "Get
the fucking number yourself!"
"But how?"
"Go and ask Skinner, he's bound to have it" She said giving him a big dirty look.
Doggett felt like screaming with frustration, all he wanted to do was ring Willmore. But why?
He asked himself, what could Willmore do?
He placed the reciever back on the phone, Scully said that Skinner was waiting for the tape
to be delivered, but from where? Would he be able to somehow stop the delivery?
Maybe if he could get Skinner to leave his office he could volunteer to wait for the tape thus
he could tamper with it and make himself unidentifiable. He found his idea to be perfect and
quickly dashed from the office and to the elevators.
SKINNER'S OFFICE
Doggett knocked loudly on the door. He felt his stomach do another summersalt as a
dreadful nervous feeling crept over him. What if Skinner had seen the tape by now? What if he
was watching it the moment Doggett walked into the room?
"Come in" Skinner's voice called, Doggett slowly pushed the door open and gazed into the room.
Skinner sat lonesome at his desk with the vandalised picture infront of him.
"Agent Doggett" He said in a calm manner,
"Er sir I need to speak with you" He said as he entered the room,
"Not now agent, I'm busy"
"Er it won't take long" Doggett protested.
Skinner sighed heavily
"Very well"
"I er...recieved a phonecall" He lied, "You're urgently needed at er..." He tried to think of
a place quite a distance to give him plenty of time to see the tape.
"Urgently needed where agent Doggett?"
"Er Scruffy Lake" He blurted out,
"Scruffy Lake?" Skinner asked with confusion "Wheres that?"
Now what? How could he tell him where it was when he just made it up?
"Er...it's about er-"
"Tell them I can't, I'm waiting on a delivery" Skinner said matter-of-factly.
"A delivery? I could get that for you" Doggett said trying to sound helpful
"No you can't" He said "I have to be here, tell them I can't make it"
Great, Doggett thought. He realised his little plan hadn't worked, Skinner had no intentions
of leaving the office.
"Before you go agent Doggett would you like to have a coffee with me?" Skinner suggested.
Shock fell over Doggett's body he had never, ever been invited to share coffee with the assistant
director, only priviledged agents dared to do so. Doggett was so shocked that he almost forgot
about the tape,
"Y...yes of course sir" He said
"Good, I have mine black with two sugars" Skinner said as he pointed to the small coffee machine
to one side of the room. Doggett quickly rushed over to get them both a coffee,
"You wouldn't happen to know anything about my picture would you agent Doggett?" Skinner asked
with curiosity. He had been thinking about who could have done such a thing all day but
strangely he hadn't even considered Doggett.
Oh no, Doggett thought, did he know something or was he just being paranoid?
"Er...what picture?" He asked trying to sound all innocent
"This picture" Skinner replied as he held up the picture for Doggett to see
"Er...no sir...who would do such a thing?"
"Thats what I would like to know but I hope the person responsible has life insurance" He
said in an angry and menacing tone.
Doggett gulped hard with fear, he quickly got them both a coffee and rushed to the desk, he
knew that he had to find some way to get him out of the office.
"Here you go" He said as he placed the coffee infront of him. Skinner snatched up the cup
without so much as a thankyou,
"God help the person who did this" He muttered as he sipped the coffee.
Doggett felt another summersalt erupt in his stomach, he sat in the chair opposit Skinner and
took a sip from his cup.
"Er maybe it was just a joke" Doggett said, Skinner's face turned to an angry grimace, his eyes
narrowed forming an almost scary face. Doggett felt a shiver pass through his body,
"Nobody makes a joke out of me agent Doggett, anyone who believes they can do so would be
incredibly brave or just plain dumb" He said with a voice so angry it was almost a whisper
escaping his clenched teeth.
Doggett realised at that moment how serious the issue was, he wished desperately that he had
never done it. He wished he could turn back time and change the whole thing.
Suddenly a knock at the door caused Doggett to cack big time, was it the delivery?
"Come in" Skinner called. The door opened to reveal a small man holding some kind of machinery.
He plodded into the office and placed it beside Skinner's television, Doggett instantly
realised it was equipment to watch the tape with.
"Er...maybe you should watch it later sir...you really should get to Scruffy Lake" Doggett
cacked.
"Scruffy Lake can wait, I've been waiting for this moment all day" Skinner said as he sipped
his coffee. The man set about connecting the machine to the TV,
"But...but..." Doggett thought hard, "They said it was urgent"
"They can wait, I suggest you watch this tape with me agent Doggett, I need a witness" Skinner
said causing Doggett to shake in his shoes.
"Er I really think you ought to get to Scruffy Lake sir...I could get the directions for you"
Skinner ignored Doggett's request and watched as the man connected the machine to the TV.
Doggett wondered how he would see this through, how could he sit there while Skinner watched
the tape of him vandalising the picture?
"You will need this to rewind or fast forward" The man said as he walked over and handed Skinner
a remote control, "Its all yours" He added as he menouverd to the door and left Doggett alone
with Skinner in the office.
Doggett felt like crying, he wished the ground would swallow him up, how could he escape this
situation?
Skinner played the tape and a vision of the lift fulfilled the TV screen. The doors to the lift
glided open and an image of Doggett and Willmore entering caused Doggett to look away.
Skinner sat silently watching the footage, he saw Doggett remove a pen from a pencil tin and
begin to squiggle on Skinner's beloved picture.
Doggett couldn't believe what was happening, he looked at Skinner to see what kind of expression
covered his face but only to discover he sat blankly staring at the TV. Was that a good sign?
Skinner switched off the TV and placed the remote control on his desk.
Doggett waited for some kind of reaction but he just sat there silent, should he say something?
Should he just leave the room? Apologise?
Doggett felt uncomfortable and found himself subconciously fidgeting with his tie, he looked
at Skinner who sat there still blank and staring at the TV.
"Er...I can explain sir...I did it so I could be accepted into Willmore's gang I didn't mean
to cause such an uproar" He said only for no reaction from Skinner. Was he okay?
"Never in my life" Skinner said quietly, "Have I been so angry" He said now turning to face
Doggett,
"Sorry sir I-"
"I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO ANGRY!" He bellowed as he rose from his chair
"Sir I-" Doggett stood from his position, "I'm sorry!"
"I ASKED YOU IF YOU KNEW ABOUT IT! I OFFERED YOU COFFEE!" He shouted almost losing his voice
as anger took control of his body.
Doggett had never seen Skinner so angry in all his life, what was he going to do to him?
He was shaking with rage and red, Doggett was almost certain he could see Skinner's specatcles
steaming up. Doggett almost shit himself when Skinner suddenly marched toward him,
"Noooooo!" He squealed as he rushed to the door, "Help me!" He shouted as he rushed out of
the office. He ran with incredible speed out into the hall and headed for the elevators, he
could hear the sounds of Skinner's loafers thumping down the hall behind,
"Help me!" He squealed as the doors to the elevator opened just in time. Doggett rushed inside
and pushed the down button. He cacked as the doors closed slowly and Skinner was gaining on
him, the bespectacled man was running faster than he had ever ran before.
"AGENT DOGGETT!" He shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RUN AWAY!"
"Aaaah!" He screamed as Skinner's angry and red face got closer and closer to the lift. The
doors glided closed and Doggett sighed with relief.
He took deep breaths as the lift travelled to the ground floor, moments later the doors opened
and Doggett stepped out. He quickly checked each direction to see Skinner absent, great he
thought just enough time to hide.
"AGENT DOGGET!" Skinner called, Doggett turned to see him running down the staircase,
"Aaaaah!" He screamed and rushed down the hall to his and Scully's office.
"Oh my god, its David Boreanaz's cousin!" Reyes said excitedly as she and Scully looked at
the fake message left by Doggett on her website.
"I know!" Scully smiled, suddenly the door burst open and Doggett rushed into the room with
speed,
"Aaaah!" He yelled in a panic and he dove under his desk,
"Doggett?" Scully asked as she looked on in confusion. Seconds later Skinner came rushing into
the room,
"HOW DARE YOU RUN FROM ME!" He bellowed with anger as he instantly saw Doggett 'hiding' under
his desk, he dashed over and grabbed ahold of his leg, "GET OUT, GET OUT!" He yelled
"Help me!" Doggett screamed like a girl, "Aaaah no please don't hurt me!"
"GET OUT AGENT DOGGETT!" Skinner demanded, "GET...GET...GET..." He suddenly began to choke on
his words due to his furios rage, Skinner tugged hard on Doggett's leg when suddenly an almighty
fart fluttered from his arse. He stopped in his tracks and dropped Doggett's leg to the floor.
Oh my god, Doggett thought to himself, did Skinner just fart?
"Sir?" Scully asked, "Whats going on? Are you okay?"
Skinner suddenly felt his bodily heat rise up before darkness fulfilled his vision.
WASHINGTON GENERAL HOSPITAL
"This is your fault!" Scully said to Doggett as she paced up and down in the waiting
room, "Why didn't you tell me it was you? It was stupid for you to go alone and confess...I
could have gone with you...you know how he reacts when you do something wrong...I could have
calmed him down before he had this fit" She said with stress.
"I...I couldn't and I didn't confess. I went up to him to prevent him from seeing the tape"
Doggett said matter-of-factly.
"What? You were trying to hide it? You didn't even have the guts to admit it?" She asked full
of rage,
"I...I didn't want to get Willmore into trouble" Doggett lied trying to sound all kind hearted
and good. Really he wouldn't like it more if Willmore took all the blame, at least Skinner
would be soft on him.
"What?" Scully asked in shock, "Willmore was in on this?"
"Yes...in fact he made me do it" He added to his lie, "He said that if I didn't he would...er...
do it and blame me"
Scully couldn't believe her ears, was her precious Willmore capable of that?
CONTINUED IN PART TWO...