A/N: This fic is inspired by a wonderful QAF fanfic named "Counting Blue Cars" by RC MC Lachlan and my cousin who calls himself Reaper Boy.
This is unbeta-ed version so there should be mistakes here and there. If you're interested in betaing this fic, please send me a message. Thank you!

Tezuka cracked his eyes open when the first stream of light splashed over his face. The blanket tangled around his legs, sticky and wet as the only evidences for Fuji's presence the night before. A throaty chuckle escaped him when images of two bodies entwining intimately and grinding against each other flashed up in his mind.

Blue.

Honey brown.

Desire.

Love.

And regret.

Sitting up tiredly, he brought his knees up and buried his face into the wrinkled blanket.

Fuji had left.

Tears threatened to fall when the realization hit him hard and cruelly.

Long before his awaken.

The warm spot next to him was cold under his fingertips. It must have been abandoned short after their passionate making love. Tezuka cringed. Fuji should have been too sore to move. He didn't even say a word to Tezuka before leaving.

"At least Fuji should have…"he stopped abruptly. He knew he was being immature. Fuji's doing was for both of their sake. As Fuji had said, it would be easier for Tezuka to let go and less painful for him to go.

Easier? What a lie!

xOx

Fuji grimaced, sparing a glance at the uncomfortable seat. He supposed he would not have a nice time on this flight as much as his sister and brother had wished. Nevertheless, he sat down and tried desperately to hold back a yelp when his sore buttocks made contact with the hard cushion.

Leaning his head on the window, Fuji allowed himself a moment to forget the discomfort and reminisce the wonderful sensation and pleasure that ran through his veins approximately nine hours ago.

Tezuka's hands against his skin were so hot that Fuji felt the heat build up inside him at every single touch. And when Tezuka pushed his hard erection into that tight ring of Fuji, the genius felt explosion before his eyes. Sensations ran through him electrifyingly, shaking and numbing his muscles. In and out, they both shared the rhythm of pain and pleasure.

He jumped at the sudden voice from the speaker. Grunting in frustration, Fuji cursed himself for getting so deep into his fantasies that now earned him a throbbing pain from the erection in his pants. Hastily throwing his coat over his laps, he desperately hoped that no one would notice the bulge and his flushed face.

Tezuka. Fuji's heart missed a beat at the mention of his name. Guilt and sadness washed over him as he imagined Tezuka's face when he woke up and Fuji was not there.

Flashes of painful hazel eyes flickered on and off in Fuji's mind. He imagined Tezuka's frown deepening more than usual. One of the captain's big firm hands fisted on the blanket while the other covered the upper half of his handsome face. His lips moved in slow motions as if he was trying to utter word by word.

Fuji felt a lump in his throat at the image.

"It's for the best," he tried to assure himself.

"For whom?" An inner voice countered back at him.

Fuji closed his eyes tightly, frustrated, "me and him."

"Liar!" The voice snapped. "You are a mess without him."

"He's a mess without his family," Fuji thought painfully. He remembered how angrily Tezuka's grandfather had yelled when the captain nervously yet proudly announced their relationship, how shattered the face of Tezuka's father had been when the proud youth refused to break up with Fuji, and how hurt Tezuka's mother had looked when his stoic boyfriend grabbed Fuji's hands and walked out of the house where he had been living for all his life.

Fuji drew in a deep breath, "I cannot be selfish."

"He's miserable without you," the voice said softly as though sympathizing with the agonies Fuji was enduring.

"Better than without his family."

The voice didn't reply to his statement. And he let out a sigh of relief at that.

Fuji moved his eyes to look at the window, staring back at him were two deep but dull cerulean eyes.

"You poor thing."

xOx

"I'm home," Tezuka said half-heartedly on closing the door behind him.

His mother jumped at the sight of him. But soon, she masked her surprise with an uneasy smile, which made Tezuka's eye brows twitch in question.

"Welcome home, Kunimitsu," she greeted, trotting toward him. "Are you hungry yet? I'll prepare dinner."

A frown started to form on his face, "it's only 3 o'clock Mother."

"Oh," her face hardened slightly before she broke into another faking smile again, "well then, why don't you go upstairs and take a bath? You do smell, Kunimitsu."

On saying so, she moved swiftly behind Tezuka and pushed him toward the stairs despite his grunts of protest.

Much as he was greatly confused by his mother's eagerness, Tezuka didn't go against her saying.

Not now, not today.

"We still haven't received any news about the cause for this horrible accident…"

Tezuka turned his head curiously on hearing the news from the noisy television, "Is there some crashing again?"

"Oh," he noticed his mother stiffen up; she clicked her tongue, "yeah, it's just some car accident. You know how crowded and out of control the streets are these days."

He made a sound of agreement and went upstairs, not bothering anymore about the news. Fuji's leaving took a bigger toll on him than he had expected, and he didn't want to deal with any other thing right now. All he craved for was a long and dreamless sleep even though it could neither lessen the loss he was feeling inside nor make him miss his Fuji Syuuske less. Still, it would calm him somehow, or at least that was what he hoped.

xOx

Everything happened in an eye blink, so fast that one would think it was planned beforehand.

He felt an impact slamming into his head so hard that his eyes were going to poke out of their holes. The striking pain caused him to grunt and close his eyes tightly, shuddering. He felt his breathing more difficult to proceed as the pain nailed its effect onto his brains. He could feel his blood oozing out freely from the wound when his hand touched it.

Panic surged up in him. He was not going to die, was he?

"Hnn…" Some grunting sound rose up beside him, startling the youth.

Lying next to him was a boy whose face was scrunched up in pain and his right hand looked as though badly wounded by the impact.

"Hey," he tried to speak between his harsh breaths, "you're okay, there?"

The boy shook his head slightly and turned toward him. He found himself staring into two pools of hazel eyes that reminded him so much of certain someone.

Tezuka.

Suddenly, he noticed some broken chair starting to slide toward them out of his eyes corner. As an instinct, he leaned forward in a quick motion, hovered his body over the injured boy like some protection blanket.

He felt the weight banging violently into his side. The cracking sound was so loud that he knew some of his ribs had been broken. The vision before his eyes started to blend into each other. Colors, pictures, shapes, he saw none of those but a mixture of things. It was as if he was looking from behind some glossy glass.

His vision got darker and darker. The pound in his head subsided slowly although he barely had any feeling in the lower part of his body.

He saw a pair of hazel orbs boring into him. Worries and love were carved gracefully, mingling with each other in those pool eyes.

That was the last thing he saw on his mind before darkness took its claim over him completely.

"… Love you Syuusuke…"

xOx

His eyes flashed open at the first ring of his cell phone. Tiredly, he reached out and greeted barely with any emotion, "Yes?"

"Tezuka-san, this is Fuji Yuuta."

His heart clenched. If a Fuji called him, then there would have been something regarding Syuuske, the Fuji that he loved so much. Tezuka's throat got dry at that.

"Yes, how are you?" He replied politely.

"Tezuka-san…" He didn't know if it was his imagination or Fuji Yuuta's voice became hesitant and almost painful, "did you watch the news?"

He screwed his eyes narrow. For some reason, he didn't like what Fuji Yuuta was going to say, "What happened?"

"Aniki…" Tezuka's heart raced at the mentioned word; the grip on his phone tightened as Fuji Yuuta continued, "aniki's flight has been crashed… there are no survivors."

For a moment, the dark haired youth forgot how to breathe. Blood was drained from his face, and his throat tightened, choking his voice. The hands clenched around the phone so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"Tezuka-san… Tezuka-san, are you still there?" Fuji Yuuta's voice faintly rang through the phone.

He paid it no mind.

He could see it before his eyes, the painful face of his genius when the plane crashed down; he could feel the ragged breath which became harder and harder because of Syuuske's wounded throat; he could smell the fragrance of blood and death surrounding his lover.

Shiver ran down Tezuka's spine. No, not him, not Fuji Syuusuke.

Rushing into a bolt, Tezuka ran down the stairs, toward the living room where the television was flickering with deadly images, mocking him.

"Kunimitsu…" He heard his mother calling him and her hand on his arms, yet he didn't care. All drew his attention at that very moment was the flashing image of a crashed plane on the screen, the thing in which his lover was stuck.

Without sparing a glance, he still acknowledged the looks his father and his grandfather giving him, sad and sympathetic ones. They must be satisfied, he found himself angry at the thought; after all, they had always wanted him and his Fuji to be separated. Now they finally had their wants met, and he had his lover killed.

"It's not about some car accident," he said softly to no one specific. His hand gripped at the hem of his shirt, his chest was weighed down by some mysterious force. He wanted to explode. Right here and right now.

He turned his head slightly to look at his mother, who had cast her eyes away, apparently avoiding eye contact with him.

He noticed his father standing up and moving to the spot next to his mother. The older Tezuka sighed while patting his wife's shoulders, "Kunimitsu, your mother doesn't want to distress you."

He wanted to laugh out loud at that, but he didn't. Meanwhile, the genius's stern voice rang through his head reminding his manners, "You do not disrespect your parents or your grandfather because of us, Tezuka. That is not you."

Fuji always wanted Tezuka to respect his family and put them as his top priorities whilst his family didn't want him to hear anything about Fuji.

"This is unfair," Tezuka grunted in frustration, running a hand over his face. "This is totally unfair."

On saying so, he turned around. He needed to be away from his family and out to the world behind the damn door, where his lover was waiting.

He heard voices calling his name, but he didn't stop. Even if it was for a moment, he still wanted to escape from the bitter truth.

"Everything must be a realistic dream," he told himself, "but then why does it hurt so much?"

xOx

Fuji jerked awake when the urge to breathe became difficult for him. He drew in a deep breath, hissing when the pain shot a numb feeling throughout his body. It hurt him so much.

Making a mental note not to make any sudden move, the young man closed his eyes slowly, letting his body relax and adapting to the scenario surrounding him. Smell of burnt flesh and fresh blood jolted through his nostrils, sickening him. There had been some small explosions here and there, which caused the temperature to rise up a few degrees. His own sweat and blood struck on his clothes, sticking them to him like the second skin. It was awfully uncomfortable. Casting out a sigh, Fuji promised himself a long, good and pleasant bath if he ever survived out of this mess, which, he noticed, was becoming more and more like a vain hope.

It was a horrible accident that happened in a flash of time. Death had come and claimed almost every passenger, sparing him and a few. But soon, Fuji knew, all of them would sit altogether on a flight to the other world; it was either hell or heaven, Fuji did not care.

"It's neither hell nor heaven, just so you know," a voice spoke up next to him, causing Fuji to turn his head quickly. He groaned when the pain slammed into him again.

"Easy there, Fuji Syuusuke," the boy whom he had protected earlier was looking at him through his amused hazel eyes, the ones that captured Fuji's heart whenever he looked into them.

Noticing the honey haired youth dazing and staring at him, the little boy chuckled, "I'm not your lover, Fuji Syuusuke. I may have his eyes but I am not, for your information. I believe you are not into shotacon, aren't you?"

Blood rushed up onto his face, tinting it with a deep red color as the youth turned away, "Sorry."

"It's okay," the boy shrugged. "You miss him. You see him in my eyes. You protect me. It's logically simple."

Twitching his eye brows, Fuji gave the other a glare, "you seem so cheerful for someone who gets stuck in a crashed plane, you know?"

Moving his bored gaze around, the boy said nonchalantly, "What else can I do? My lower part has been broken completely, my back hurts like hell. Blood is dripping out of me like river. If I do not die of getting burned up in some explosion, I will still die of blood loss. And…" The boy stopped to have a look at Fuji, and then continued, his voice somehow sounded less cheerful, "that goes the same for you."

"I suppose so," Fuji answered when the images of his family flashed up in his mind. He wondered how his mother, Yumiko and Yuuta would react upon hearing about his death. He could see the anguish on their faces as they were called up to retrieve his body. His mother would break down, and Yumiko would be there to hold her, her face full of tears while Yuuta would stare at nothing specific, still denying to believe the truth.

And there was Tezuka…

Fuji's heart fell at the thought of the other. His lover had already held a grudge against him for leaving without saying goodbye. Now, he would never forgive Fuji for going away permanently and for leaving him alone. Fuji felt his heart ache on seeing his Tezuka clutching at his sleeves. The captain would use all of his strength to hold back the tears, trying not to break down before others; and when he was all alone, Tezuka would cry his eyes out, too much for a prideful captain.

"He misses you a lot, even I can feel it." The boy said out of nowhere, holding his stare at the broken top, whose pieces were hanging upside down dangerously, threatening the two survivors.

Fuji glanced at the boy out of the corner of his eyes, and then traveled his gaze to fix it upon the scene outside the broken window, "How do you know?"

To Fuji's surprise, the boy giggled, amused, "Fuji Syuusuke, do you want a second chance?"

The honey brown haired youth cocked his eye brows upward slightly at the question, "what do you mean by 'second chance'?"

"Second chance as in second chance."

Screwing his eyes narrow, the one once known as Seigaku genius bored his piercing cerulean eyes into hazel ones, "Who are you?"

"I am who I am," the boy shrugged his shoulders.

"You're not having any hallucination about yourself, are you?"

The boy stared at Fuji for a moment before bursting into laughter. Pain jolted through his body, making him stop laughing and hiss sharply.

"Are you okay?" the genius asked concernedly.

"Yeah, I suppose so," rubbing his chest in a soothing way, the boy turned to Fuji, "I'll ask you again. Do you want a second chance, Fuji Syuusuke?"

"How do you know my name?" Fuji's eyes hardened, cerulean transforming into some medium shade of blue.

The boy broke into a goofy smile, "so you finally notice. Well... let's just go with 'one way or another'."

"I don't recall telling you my name."

"You didn't."

"Then… how?"

The boy looked at Fuji, who was staring straight at him and demanding an answer. Defeated, he let out a sigh, "I can see your name whenever I look at you. And just so you know, you are my duty."

"I don't understand," Fuji twitched his eye brows. For some reason, he knew he would not like what he was going to hear, "do you have some supernatural power that is for saving me?"

That earned an amused look from the boy, "Supernatural power? My, isn't it interesting to put it that way? I suppose I do. Saving you? You can say so from some aspect."

"Then why not taking me out of here?"

"That…" the boy's face hardened into seriousness, "I cannot do unless you agree to take up 'second chance'."

"What is the second chance that you are talking about?" Fuji hissed in annoyance.

"Getting out of here and taking the job under my supervision."

"And that job would be…?"

"I cannot tell."

"I'm suppose to take a job that I don't know what it is if I want to get out of here?" the youth's voice grew louder and louder angrily, "that is unfair, I'll tell you!"

The boy, remaining unaffected by Fuji's outburst, said, "Life is unfair."

"I don't have any other choice?"

"You can choose to die here."

Fuji felt pounding in his head, "do I even have time to think about it?"

"Before your blood is all gone or something explodes, of course."

Fuji nodded his head, understanding. Confusion and loss were filling up inside him that he wished either Tezuka or Yumiko had been here to help him decide.

Did he want to get out of here? One would bet he did.

Did he want to take the job? Maybe yes if it was not something illegal.

What if everything was just a lie to help him have a peaceful death? So…? It was not like he would be alive anyway.

"You said there was neither heaven nor hell. Then what is it?" Fuji found his voice speaking when the question wheel was rolling in his head, making the headache worse.

The boy stared at him in silence for a moment before responding with a soft voice, "Nothing. Just an empty world where people wander around, caring none about others, where they have no memory of the life they have lived or the people they have met."

Fuji closed his eyes, flinching on hearing the answer. He would not recall his family, his friends, tennis or Tezuka if he were to die. He would be left alone in a dark world where people existed but didn't live.

Could he tolerate it?

Flashbacks of the years he had been living burst out in Fuji's mind. 18 years of loving and being loved, challenging and being challenged, hating and being hated. Were they worth being erased?

In his mind's eyes, he saw his family gathering in the living room on Christmas Eve. Yuuta was so young and cheerful that Fuji always felt happy just by looking at his brother. Yumiko was nagging him to let her tell him some snippets of his fortunes. His parents were all smiling and looking proudly at their children. Warmth crept over his body, and he sighed in happiness and joy.

Then the scene changed into something more colorful. He noticed the cherry blossom petals falling and covering the path with their own shade of color. He saw Seigaku from a distance; students were chattering happily and moving toward the building. He felt himself following them only to stop at the tennis courts.

Oishi and Eiji were warming up for the morning practice and when seeing him, Eiji waved his hand, jumping up and down and shouting "Hoi Hoi, Fuji Fuji~" over and over again. Echizen was lying under some shade, dozing off with a can of Ponta next to him. Traveling his eyes to the tracks, he saw Kaidou and Momoshiro competing with each other in running with Inui at the side holding his data book and keeping his gaze on the stop-watch. Inui tilted his head slightly and pushed up his glasses when he saw Fuji looking at them. Then his face stretched into some evil grin while his hand held up a glass of some green juice as if inviting the genius to have a gulp.

"BURNING~" Fuji turned his head when a shout erupted behind him. Taka-san was holding a racket and whirling it frantically despite Oishi's efforts to take it back. A chuckle escaped Fuji.

Then all the noises slowly subsided. Everyone stopped whatever they were doing and turned their head to the entrance where stood a prideful youth. Dark hair flew in the breeze while the lean body stood straight, emitting a leader aura which no one would dare to oppose. Hazel eyes full of seriousness swept through the courts, taking in every activity that was going on. A respectful greeting to the stoic captain from the team members rang through the courts, and everyone resumed their doings.

Hazel met cerulean. A frown formed on the brunet's face, which earned a chuckle from Fuji. "Hai hai," the genius mouthed the word and started to run the laps which had been silently assigned to him through the disapproving stare. Apparently, he was slacking off in his practice.

The vision got rippled and magically transformed into a big tennis court with audience surrounding. Shifting his eyes around, Fuji took in the sight of the cheering students who were holding banners, drums and flags. Then there were tennis players from other schools standing among the audience, attentively fixing their eyes upon the court. He saw Seigaku regulars leaning forward over the fence, cheerfully waving at him.

Fuji felt a breeze whizzing around him and the tock sound of ball bouncing up and down steadily on the court. A hissing wind and the ball flew toward him at a high speed. Squaring his shoulders, Fuji swung his racket widely, hitting the ball back to the other side of the court with all his strength. The other player made long and fast strides to the left side fully intending to catch it. Yet in a millisecond, he missed, and Fuji scored.

"Game set, won by Seishun Gakuen's Fuji Syuusuke, 7-6."

Joy engulfed the honey haired youth when his teammates hugged him, smacked him, jumped at him to congratulate. He laughed and gave everyone a thank you. Despite his friends' noisiness, his cerulean eyes unconsciously strayed away and stopped at certain hazel ones. Tezuka barely gave out any emotion on his face, but Fuji could see it, glints of pride and approval were flickering in those pool eyes. And Fuji smiled.

Fuji's sight got shaken when a shot of pain throbbed in his head, shocking him. His headache was getting worse and worse every moment and he found it harder to breathe. It was as if his chest was being weighed down, choking life out of him.

The boy gave him another bored look, "you don't have much time left."

Fuji threw a glare at the person whom he had helped and who would be his "boss" if he were to take the so-called second chance, and he turned away. He recalled the familiar images that had just flashed in his mind. Never in his life had he ever thought that there would be a time when he regretted those times. Yet now stuck in a crashed plane with some "supernatural" boy and two choices whether dead or alive, he missed those old days. If only he had spared time to look at the albums that stored the photos he had taken since he knew how to use a camera.

"Hey," Fuji called out to the boy who cocked his eye brows staring at him, "lead the way, Reaper Boy!"

Contentment danced in hazel eyes as the "boss" grinned, "Reaper Boy huh?"