MONDAY MORNING
Doggett quickly made his way down the hall to his and Scully's office. He had just had
a visitation to the canteen to get his breakfast, they didn't have his favourite kind of
doughnut today: pink iced ones so he had to make do with some chocolate flavoured ones and a
few chocolate bars to get him through until lunch instead.
He pushed the office door open and strolled inside only to see a large yellow object occupying
his view, it was round and shiny and a strange whistly sound filled his ears. Confusion took
control as Doggett's face filled with surprise and shock, he quickly took a step back and allowed
his eyes to focus for a few seconds. He looked to find that the big yellow object had been a
balloon and the noise came from Scully standing behind the giant balloon blowing it up.
"Scully?" He said in confusion to the vision, she stopped blowing the balloon and Doggett saw
her face peep around the side,
"Morning" She said stressfully as she tried to catch her breath
"Er...why are you blowing up a huge balloon?"
"It's for Willmore's surprise birthday party tonight, you haven't forgotten have you?" She asked
in a moment of cackiness
"No, I remember, I have to pick the cake up at three" Doggett said with a sigh as he pushed
passed the balloon and made his way over to his desk, "No chance of me forgetting" He said
under his breath refering to the fact that the party had been Scully's only topic of conversation
for the past few days.
"Doggett you have a go" Scully said as she shoved the balloon into his direction, "I'm out of
breath"
"No, get a pump"
"Doggett!" She squealed in a moment of stressfull anger, "Just help me out"
Doggett sighed heavily and rushed over to snatch the balloon,
"Where did you get this thing anyway? It has to be three feet wide" He snapped
"At Goodies Birthday Treats on M street" She replied, "And there are three more when you're
done"
"What?" Doggett asked, "I'm not doing them"
"Please Doggett, I have so much to do, I can't cope anymore...I'm snowed under" She screeched
as a tear emerged from her eye, "I have to wait for the band...get all the presents together,
wait for the food to arrive...I can't cope!" She squealed.
"Okay okay, calm down, no need to cry Scully" Doggett said in shock at her outburst
"It's my party and I cry if I want to!" She shouted as she quickly rushed over to the door and
dashed out with her heels tapping in tow.
Doggett stood in shock for a few moments unable to accept what he had just witnessed, was she
having somekind of major breakdown over a party for Willmore? What was so special about a party
for the popular agent anyway? She didn't bother with parties on any other agent's birthday.
Doggett shrugged his shoulders and persed his lips around the balloon and begun to blow.
Skinner made his way down the hall with speed, he was so angry, he found it difficult
to even breath he was so enraged. Doggett had perchased the last chocolate flavoured doughnuts
in the canteen, Skinner always had chocolate flavoured doughnuts in the morning, if he didn't
he couldn't focus properly on his work all day. How dare he buy the last ones? How could he be
so selfish as to not think that anyone else might want them?
Doggett puffed out air as hard as he could and felt the balloon become larger, suddenly
he heard the loudest noise he had ever heard in his entire life, a hard, painful smacking
sensation intruded his lips, before he had time to even think about what had happened, he found
himself stumbling backwards with speed before somehow tripping over his own feet and landing on
his arse in a sitting position on the office floor.
Doggett wondered what had caused such a comotion, an earth quake?
It took a few seconds for the confusion to pass him by when he suddenly felt the nasty pain in
his lips again, he took in the surroundings only to see the vision of assistant director Skinner
lying on his back on the floor, his spectacles beside his head and pieces of yellow balloon
all over the office. It was then Doggett could piece together the fact that the giant balloon
had somehow burst.
Skinner suddenly sat up with an evil and twisted look upon his face,
"AGENT DOGGETT!" He squealed, "Why the hell can't I see a thing? What have you done?"
"Er...your glasses sir" Doggett said with a shaky and terrified tone, Skinner raised his hand to
his face to find his visional aids absent from his face, "Errrrr...I'm soooo angry! Boy you have
no idea how angry I am agent Doggett!" He said in the loudest most scary tone he had ever used
with Doggett. He reached his hands out and began to feel for his glasses.
Doggett wondered what he should do, should he make a quick exit before Skinner finds his glasses?
Should he tell him where the glasses are? Maybe that would make him calm down a little if he
helped him out finding his glasses.
"Where the hell are they?" Skinner squealed as he moved his hands to the left and right around
the floor,
"Er...r-r-right sir" Doggett stuttered, Skinner moved his hands to the right and clasped his hand
onto the designer frames. He quickly grabbed them and placed them onto his face where the view
of Doggett sitting on the carpet with muffled hair and suit and red lips made him even more
enraged. Skinner quickly jumped to his feet,
"What the hell happened agent Doggett?" He asked as he noted the pieces of a yellow rubbery
substance on the floor
"I-I was blowing up a giant balloon sir" Doggett said shakily, "Y-You must have walked into it
and burst it somehow"
"Huh? Are you saying this is *my* fault agent Doggett? Huh? Is that what you're implying?"
Skinner asked with rage as he menouvered over to Doggett.
"No...no of course not but..." Doggett looked to see a pen petruding from Skinner's pocket with
a small plastic figure of cartman from southpark on it. The cartoon figure was holding a book
that had a sharp corner on it and Doggett found that to be the culprit for the unfortunate
accident, "It must have been your pen sir"
"Huh?" Skinner looked down to his pocket to see his little cartman pen poking out from his shirt
pocket, "Oh right...well what the hell are you doing blowing up a balloon anyway?" He asked now
sounding calmer.
"Scully made me do it for the party"
"Agent Willmore's party?" Skinner asked, "Well seeing as it is for agent Willmore I'm willing to
let this incident pass" He decided
"Oh...thankyou sir"
"But" He said as he looked over to Doggett's desk, "I think this can be a form of apology" He
said as he dashed over and snatched up the brown paper bag containing Doggett's doughnuts.
"But-"
"But nothing agent Doggett, you knew that these were mine, I always buy chocolate ones and don't
bother trying to deny it, you were seen perchasing them" Skinner said, "Now get this place tidy
and blow up some more balloons for the party" He ordered as he stormed over to the door and
dashed out of the office.
"Yes sir" Doggett said in a bitchy manner as the door closed, he climbed to his feet and rushed
over to his desk only to find that Skinner had also taken his chocolate bars.
BUBBLE'S BAKERY 3:O9 PM
Doggett waited patiently for the birthday cake. The woman behind the counter had gone
off out the back to get it almost ten minutes ago. He had even had enough time to perchase some
muffins, cakes, doughnuts and a sandwich in the time it took waiting for the cake.
"Excuse me" He called to the man behind the counter, "Where's my cake?"
"Huh? Cake?" The man asked in a strong Italian accent, "I no nothing of a cake"
"The woman went to get it earlier" Doggett said in a bitchy manner as he pointed to his watch,
"It was supposed to be ready at three"
"Oh, I'll go see what has happened sir, please wait" The man said and rushed off out the back.
"Great" Doggett sighed with discontentment.
"John?" A voice asked from his left, he spun his head to see a familiar face, agent Pitfall. The
most hated agent at the bureau, she had a major crush on Doggett and had even stalked him for a
short time. He quickly turned away like he hadn't seen her,
"Johnny?" She said again as she moved closer, Doggett felt a feeling of dread as her arm clasped
onto his shoulder, "I thought it was you" She said happily
"Oh...Pitfall" He said with a fake smile and a nod of the head
"What are you doing here? You knew I was coming here didn't you? You thought you would follow
me and ask me on a date right?" She asked as she grabbed his hand and held it tightly.
"No!" He squealed and snatched his hand back, just the sight of the vulgar woman made him want
to puke, he certainly didn't want her to touch him.
"No? It's okay Johnny, you don't have to cover it up, I know how you feel about me" She said
with a flirty wink of the eye
"Believe me...you have *no* idea how I feel about you" He said.
"Oh Johnny, I knew you loved me too" She squealed with happiness, "Lets get married"
"Huh?" Doggett moved away from the repulsive woman, "No, I don't love you Pitfall, infact I think
I hate you more than I've ever hated anyone...ever!" He said in an honest sentence. The last
thing he needed was another stalking episode because she thought he loved her, he had to be
totally honest to prevent such a thing.
"Oh John you know you don't mean that!" She said in a loud shout causing everyone to look in
their direction, "You love me!"
Doggett felt a surge of embarrassment as voices began to whisper and laughs could be heard,
"Look just leave me alone" He said in a whispery tone,
"But you don't hate me do you John?" She squealed, "You love me!" She repeated
"Right...whatever" He said in an attempt to rid her of his territorial bubble,
"You do?" She asked suddenly sounding happy, "I knew it!"
"Your cake sir" The man called from the counter, Doggett sped over faster than the speed of
light and snatched the box before running out of the shop.
FBI HEADQUATERS
Doggett rushed to his and Scully's office and dashed inside slamming thd door behind him
and pulling down the small window blind to cover the frosted glass in the door. He took a few
deep breaths before seeing Scully sitting at her desk surrouned with huge balloons every colour
of the rainbow,
"Doggett?" She asked shocked at his strange behavior, "What's wrong?"
"If you see Pitfall, tell her...tell her I've left town or died or something" He said
"Oh, you had a run in" She said with a smirk, everyone knew of her crush on Doggett and that he
did everything possible to avoid seeing her, he even avoided the fourth floor because he knew
she worked there.
"Yes, she thinks I love her"
"What?"
"She caused a scene in the bakery so when she asked if I loved her I said whatever just to
shut her up" He blurted out with stress as he walked over to his desk and placed the cake onto
it.
"Oh Doggett that was the worst thing you could have said, you know you have to make it clear
that you have no feelings for her, Jean-Paul's advice remember?" She said, "Otherwise she'll
never leave you alone"
"I know but I just wanted her to shut up, if you see her tell her I'm gone, vanished forever"
He said as he plonked into his chair.
"Anyway you have bigger problems" Scully said
"Great. what have I done now?"
"You missed group gug at three" She said, "Skinner wasn't too pleased"
"But I had to pick up the cake...I didn't mean to-"
"It's okay, I told him that an emergency had come up and he accepted that but you have to explain
to him what it was" She said, "You'd better think up something good"
Doggett felt angry, Scully was the one who had made him pick up the cake and now she had told
Skinner that he had an emergency, but what could he say? What emergency could have occured that
would make him miss group hug?
"Anyway what's it like?" Scully said with happiness as she jumoed up from her chair. She rushed
over to the cake on Doggett's desk and lifted the cardboard lid, "Oh wow!" She squealed with
joy, "It's perfect, just like Will..." She suddenly realised that she had let her tongue slip.
She hadn't realised she was thinking aloud,
"Will? Will who?" Doggett nosed
"Er...Will you pass me that?" She asked, "I was going to ask you if you would pass me that" She
said skillfully covering up her slip of the tongue.
Doggett looked to where she was pointing to see nothing there,
"Er, what do you want?" He asked
"Er..." Suddenly the door burst open saving Scully from a difficult explanation
"Agent Doggett!" Skinner bellowed, "I demand to know why you didn't show for group hug, you are
aware of the new rule, group hug three pm everyday" He said as he stormed over to Doggett's
desk.
"Er I er...er" Doggett found that he had been taken by surprise which left his mind blank, "I er"
"Well?"
"He had a personal matter sir" Scully quickly intervened
"Yes, thats right" Doggett agreed, "A personal matter sir"
"Oh really?" Skinner asked with interest and nosiness, "What personal matter agent Doggett?"
Doggett looked to Scully for an explanation before it suddenly dawned on him that if a personal
matter comes up the agents are not obligated to tell anyone about their personal matter.
Skinner had no right to nose into his personal life, Doggett decided
"I'm waiting agent Doggett"
"I can't tell you sir" Doggett said, "It's personal"
"He's right sir, he doesn't have to tell you if he doesn't want to" Scully said
"Well seeing as you have no trust in me agent Doggett and you believe me to be an outsider then
that is up to you, just remember that christmas is coming up soon and you might just be crossed
off of my card list" Skinner said with bitchiness as he stormed out of the office.
"Nosey bastard" Doggett bitched only to be intruded with a hard smack from his little red-haired
partner
"Don't swear in my company Doggett!" She snapped with anger.
"Gees s-o-r-r-y!" He said with a sarcastic yet bitchy attitude,
"Just make yourself useful and make sure Willmore is coming to the hall tonight" She said, "Tell
him there's a raffle or something" She added as she walked over to her desk, "I have to make a
phonecall to Godrey Von Lala"
"Godfrey Von who?"
"My new psychic" Scully said, "He tells me I have potential" She said proudly, "He says I have
a gift too, so you are now looking at your own personal psychic" She joked
"Huh? My new sidekick?" Doggett asked with confusion, "But you've been my sidekick for a long
time"
"Psychic not sidekick" She said with a shake of the head
"Yeah thats what I said, sidekick" Doggett said still confused
"Your not very quick are you Doggett?" Scully bitched
"What? Why?" He asked now becoming frustrated, "Why do you need to phone a sidekick?"
"Mind your own business" She bitched, "Just get to Willmore's office"
"Yes sir" Doggett said as he raised his hand to his head to salute Scully in a sarcastic manner.
WILLMORE'S OFFICE
Doggett waltzed into the room to find Willmore typing away on his computer,
"Hey" He said, Willmore looked up to see Doggett at the foot of his desk,
"Hey" He smiled, "What brings you to my office?"
"I just wanted to make sure you're going to the party tonight" He said forgetting Scully's
instructions of keeping the party a surprise
"Party?" Willmore asked with confusion, "Agent Balaclavaah told me there was a meeting in the
hall, I didn't know it was a party"
"Ooops" Doggett whispered to himself suddenly realising he had ruined the surprise, "It was
supposed to be a surprise"
"A surprise?" Willmore asked, "For who...me?"
"Yeah"
"I thought everybody had forgot about my birthday" He said sounding excited, "A surprise party
for me?"
"Well keep it to yourself, don't catch on that you know" Doggett said
"Don't worry" Willmore smiled, he patted his nose with his finger, "Your secret's safe with me"
FBI HEADQUATER'S HALL 7:OOPM
Doggett made his way down the hall skillfully holding Willmore's birthday cake steadily.
He had been made to bring the cake down by Scully who claimed she had been too busy prepairing
the stage for the band, The Beatle-likes, a tribute band for the Beatles.
Doggett walked further and opened the door to the hall, he took a step inside,
"SURPRISE!" A hoard of voices suddenly shouted causing Doggett to jump almost two feet into the
air with fright, the cake departed his hands and landed face-first on the floor with a thud.
"Oh its only Doggett" Agent Krab's voice said
"The cake!" Scully squealed angrily, "You dropped the cake!"
Doggett clutched his chest in somekind of attempt to calm his shaking nerves, he had recieved
such a fright.
"You've ruined it" She screeched rushing over to see the damage
"Sorry...I didn't mean-"
"Trust agent Doggett to spoil everything" Skinner bitched
"I can't believe you could be so dumb you fucking moron" Reyes said as she puffed hard on a
cigarette.
"I didn't mean to" Doggett protested, "You scared me"
"We thought you were Willmore" Chopstix said
"Well I wasn't"
"I think we've gathered that agent Doggett" Skinner said, "Well don't you think you should clean
it up?"
Doggett looked down at the squashed cake with sadness,
"Yes sir" He said as he plodded over to clean it up.
"What are we going to do now?" Scully asked
"Hey they have sponge cakes in the canteen, maybe I could get Mary to put some icing on one"
Agent Delyte said,
"Good thinking" Skinner said.
Suddenly Doggett felt his cheap black work shoe somehow slip on some icing from the cake, his
leg shot out and took his body gliding forward, he had to stop himself from falling somehow and
instantly spotted a rope dangling to his right, like a shot he grabbed the rope and managed to
maintain himself. He stood up right and took a sigh with relief, suddenly an entourage of
balloons came tumbling from above and Doggett found himself stumbling backward.
Willmore pushed the door to the hall open only to see the view of Doggett stumbling around in
a pile of balloons on the floor, bursting each one with every step he took
"Doggett!" Scully shouted at the top of her voice
"I...I can't help it!" Doggett squealed desperately trying not to fall over, he stumbled for a
few more seconds, popping balloons as he went before tumbling to the ground anyway popping more
balloons as he did so.
Willmore burst into a fit of laughter, he hadn't seen something so funny for a long time,
"Doggett you've ruined everything!" Scully said distraughtly, "Its ruined"
"Agent Doggett get to your feet at once!" Skinner demanded with rage, Doggett quickly got to his
feet, he was confused due to the fact that he had absolutely no idea where the balloons could
have came from. He looked up to the ceiling to see a large net, he had released the balloons by
pulling on the rope, he concluded.
"I hope you have an explanation for yourself agent Doggett!" Skinner said as he rushed over,
"Er...I fell, I didn't mean-"
"Why the hell did you pull the rope? Do you know how long it took agent Scully to get all the
balloons in that net? Huh? Do you?" He asked poking him in the chest,
"I'm sorry I just tried to stop myself-"
"I don't want to hear it Doggett" Scully said, "Just get this place cleaned up, Willmore's
going to be here any minute"
Willmore quickly closed the door still laughing at the whole scene, he decided to give them time
to tidy up before he went in to pretend to be surprised.
LATER
Doggett placed the last balloon into the net befor climbing down the ladder, he had been
made to put all the remaining ones back while Scully, Skinner and the rest cleaned up the burst
balloons and the cake. Agent Delyte had managed to get a cake from the canteen and one of the
workers had managed to make some icing and wrote a happy birthday message for Willmore on the
victoria sponge.
"It's done" Doggett said as he reached the floor
"Good" Skinner said, "The Beatle-likes have just arrived too" He stated as four sixties-style
men entered the hall.
"Great!" Scully said with delight, "Quick up on the stage" She said as she directed the men to
the stage.
"Hey everyone" The John Lennon-type one smiled, "Who's the birthday boy?"
"He hasn't arrived yet!" Scully squealed, "Quick up on the stage" She said as she looked at her
watch. She had told the agents to inform Willmore of a raffle taking place in three minutes.
"Okay okay" The Ringo starr-type one said giving his band a look as if to say she was crazy.
The four men rushed up to the small stage and began to get their instruments prepaired.
"Oh I'm so nervous" Scully said, "What if he doesn't come? What if he decides not to bother?"
"Calm down agent Scully, I've never known agent Willmore to miss a raffle" Skinner laughed, "You
know what he is like for gambling" He said giving her a reassuring smile.
"He's coming!" Agent Buddwiza said as he came rushing into the hall,
"Quick!" Scully squealed.
Willmore made his way down the hall, he heard the sounds of shuffling snd someone saying 'ssssh'
and guessed it must be time for him to enter the party and act surprised.
Doggett got into position between Skinner and Scully, he knew the whole thing was pointless,
Willmore knew about the party anyway.
"Ssssssh!" Scully said to quieten the agents, she placed her hand on the rope ready to release
the giant balloons.
The doors opened almost in slow motion, cackment filled Scully's mind and body as she desperately
wanted her precious dream-guy to come in so that she could surprise him. His shoe appeared at
the bottom of the door as he stepped into the hall, followed by his leg and next his gelled
hair could be seen before his handsome face peered around the door.
"SURPRISE!" The agents all shouted
"Surprise" Doggett said a moment too late, Scully tugged the rope and released the balloons.
"Oh" Willmore tried his best to act surprised, "Oh my" He said as he walked into the hall,
"Happy birthday!" Scully squealed, she rushed over and gave him a big kiss on the cheek
"Whats going on?" He asked wondering if he was over-doing the surprised routine
"Its a party for your birthday agent Willmore, what else could it be?" Skinner asked, "Wheres
the free drink?" He asked
"Er...sir I wanted to give Willmore his present first" Scully said, "The drinks will follow"
"A present?" Willmore asked still over-doing his surprised routine
"Yes!" She squealed as she dashed over to a table and grabbed a small package, she rushed back
and handed it to him,
"Oh wow I wonder what it could be" Willmore said as he snatched the present, He tore it open
with speed, "Wow a CD" He said with joy, "The Who"
"Yes, I knew you wanted it"
"Wow, thanks Scully!" He said with joy
"I got you this" Doggett said as he appeared beside Willmore, spoiling Scully's happy moment
where she was expecting a kiss from her dream-guy. Willmore took Doggett's present and tore
off the badly wrapped paper, it had at least four rolls of sellotape around it.
"Wow I needed one of these" Willmore said as he unwrapped the desk organiser,
Was he more happy with Doggett's gift? Scully wondered, Did that big happy smile indicate that
he wanted the desk organiser more than the cd?
"I got you a pen agent Willmore" Skinner said as he handed him the cheap unwrapped gift,
"Oh...er thanks" Willmore said dissapointedly
"Here" Chow said as he appeared beside Doggett, he handed him a huge gift.
Doggett wondered what could possibly be inside the wrapping, it was big and square, Doggett found
that he had actually began to cack to see what was inside.
Willmore tore off the paper to be confronted with a box with red stars all over it,
"What is it?" He asked
"Open it" Chow said as he pointed to a latch at the front
"Oh right" Willmore said as he flicked up the latch, the lid opened and suddenly a huge fist
popped out on a spring and punched Willmore's nose.
"Ha ha ha!" Doggett found the scene hilarious
"Ouch" Willmore said, looking unimpressed with the present given to him by his partner, "Oh er
thanks"
"I got it from a joke shop" Chow explained
"Oh...right"
"Are we ready yet?" A member of the Beatle-likes asked over the microphone,
"Another surprise" Scully said as she pointed to the stage, "Go ahead" She called
"Wow The Beatles" Willmore said with delight, "Or the Beatle-likes" He added spotting the banner
on the drum kit.
Suddenly the sounds to 'Help!' began to play,
"Agent Scully, drinks?" Skinner asked
"Over there" She pointed to the table to the far side of the room with a shake of the head.
Suddenly the sounds of dozens of feet tumbling across the hall could be heard and Scully looked
to find that she was alone on the dance floor.
LATER
Scully spotted Willmore dancing on the dance floor talking to Doggett, he looked so happy
and it was all down to her. She couldn't wait to tell him that it was all arranged by her, he
would be so pleased, would he finally ask her on a date?
She quickly dashed across the dance floor, pushing through agents as she did so until she was
behind Doggett and Willmore, she was in the process of tapping her dream-guy on the shoulder
when he spoke to Doggett,
"I saw the whole scene!" He said with laughter, she quickly decided to eaves drop
"I didn't find it funny" Doggett said grumpily
"You were stumbling all over the place" He said, "I haven't laughed like that for a long time"
"Yeah well I'm glad you find my accidents so hilarious" Doggett bitched
"I'm so glad you told me about the party otherwise I wouldn't have came early to have a peek"
Willmore said, "i would have missed the whole thing"
Doggett told Willmore about the party? How dare he? Scully thought with anger
"It made my day, it made this party worthwile" Willmore said, "It's such a crappy party, who
arranged this thing anyway?" He asked.
Scully felt her heart sink, he didn't like the party she had spent nearly a week arranging. She
had spent so much money and put so much hard work into it to make him happy and he didn't like
it? He thought Doggett falling over was better than her party?
"Oh...Scully" Doggett said suddenly acknowledging her presence, had she heard Willmore's
comments about the party?
"Hey Scully, do you know who arranged this whole shindig?" Willmore asked, "it's kinda shitty"
"Oh er...no" She said heartbroken, "Excuse me I have to go" She said as she turned and rushed
off.
"Whats wrong with her?" Willmore asked
"Nothing" Doggett said, "Apart from the fact that she arranged this party"
"What?" Willmore asked with surprise, "You're kidding?"
"Nope" Doggett said matter-of-factly
"Oh great" Willmore sighed, "Me and my big mouth"
"She spent alot of money too" Doggett said rubbing salt into the wounds, making Willmore feel
more guilty.
"Oh I'd better go and apologise" He sighed, he quickly follwed the direction of where Scully
had gone. It led him to the door which was open, he walked out of the hall to see Scully crying
as she sat on the botton step of the staircase.
"Er...Scully" He said akwardly, she looked up to see Willmore, had her crying made her makeup
run? She quickly wiped the tears away and hoped he hadn't seen her crying. What would he think
of her if he had?
"Willmore" She said with a smile
"I er...just wanted to say sorry" He said, "I didn't mean to upset you...it was a joke" He lied
"A joke?" She asked
"Er...yeah me and Doggett decided to pretend that...er...I didn't like the party for a laugh"
He lied further, "I love the party, its great"
"Oh really?" She asked with joy, how could she have been so stupid to fall for the joke?
"Yeah, I didn't think it would make you cry" He said trying to hold in a laugh at the fact she
had cried because he didn't like the party.
"Oh...okay" She said feeling embarrassed, "But I wasn't crying...I had something in my eye"
"Yeah...right" Willmore said not believing her excuse, "Well better get back inside" He said
as he turned his back on her.
"Willmore" She called, he turned back, "Is there something you want to say?" She asked in the
hope that he would ask her out
"What? Oh right, thanks" He smiled and tunred back before rushing off into the party.
Was she that bad? She wondered in a paranoid state, did he find her that repulsive? Scully rushed
after Willmore and into the party,
"Wait!" She squealed, Willmore turned around with fright, what on earth could be wrong? He
wondered, he spun around to see Scully following like a little puppy dog.
"I just wanted to er..." She found herself speechless
"Scully, is something wrong?" Willmore asked
"No I...I..." She had wanted to ask him out but found that she didn't have the courage
"What?"
"Er...I wanted to just, nothing" She said before running off in a tearfull state. Willmore
stood for a few seconds trying to piece the situation together,
"Whats with her?" Doggett asked as he appeared beside him
"Dunno, I think she's finally lost it" Willmore said with a shrug of the shoulders
"Oh well, Musical chairs is about to begin" Doggett stated with excitement.
The game of musical chairs had been going on for a while now, Skinner had won all three
times. Doggett had become more intoxicated with alcohol and was now in a rather drunken state.
The sounds of 'A hard days night' by the Beatle-likes played as Skinner, Doggett and Willmore
rushed around the two leftover chairs with cheers from all the agents gathered in a circle.
Doggett tripped up the corners of the chairs as he went due to his state of mind, suddenly the
music came to an abrupt stop, Skinner dove onto one of the chairs while Doggett and Willmore
quickly perched side by side on the other chair. Doggett quickly shifted his arse to knock
Willmore to the floor,
"Hey!" Willmore called,
"You're out" Doggett slurred
Willmore got up and plodded off to the other party guests.
"I hope you don't have visions of winning agent Doggett" Skinner said, almost in a threatening
way as if to say that he *shouldn't* win.
"Thats the aim of the game sirrrr" Doggett slurred as Scully dragged one of the chairs away.
Suddenly the song blared around the hall again and Doggett and Skinner began to dash around the
chair with speed. Doggett found his little leather shoes pick up speed and take him travelling
around the chair with speed, Skinner's face filled with anger as Doggett neared the chair.
The music suddenly stopped and Doggett speedily whipped his arse into the chair,
"I won!" He squealed with delight
"Eeeer!" Skinner felt an angry noise depart his lips, he found himself grabbing Doggett's arm
and turfing him from the chair,
"Oooooouch!" Doggett moaned as his body was removed from the chair and flung to the floor.
Skinner quickly dove into the chair,
"No agent Doggett I believe it is me who has won" Skinner said proudly
"But thats not fairrrr!" Doggett slurred
"You're drunk agent Doggett, why don't you go home?" Skinner asked rudely
"Huh?"
"Okay games over" Scully intervened,
"And the party's over" Skinner said, "We do have early starts tomorrow"
"No!" Scully cacked, Willmore still hadn't asked her out yet, "It's only ten o'clock"
"I don't care agent Scully, come on finish your drinks, party's over" Skinner ordered to the
sounds of grumbles and sighs from the unhappy agents.
"We can't have too much fun" Doggett said under his breath with sarcasm.
NEXT DAY, DOGGETT'S HOUSE
Doggett woke to the sounds of knocking on the front door, loud cacky knocking. He sat
up to find he had an instant headache and a hangover, he had gone on to a few bars with Willmore
after the party and then to the local park where they sat like two tramps with intoxicated minds.
"Ergh" He sighed as he placed his feet out of the bed, only to feel them land on something
podgy and soft,
"Huh?" He mumbled to himself and looked to discover Skinner fast asleep on the floor, his foot
had collided with Skinner's stomach. He looked over to see Willmore asleep by the door and agent
Krab asleep in the hall outside the room.
Had there been some kind of party at his house that he had been too drunk to remember?
The loud knocking again intruded the door, Doggett quickly climbed over Skinner and walked
out into the hall to find it littered with mess and empty beer cans. Agent Dollfinn was asleep
in an akward position on the stairs while agent Potsanpanz slept at the bottom. Doggett
rushed down the stairs to find many more agents scattered around the house all fast asleep,
"What happened last night?" He asked himself as he rushed over to the front door, he pulled it
open to find Scully waiting on the doorstep.
"Doggett why are there a thousand cars parked on the road?" She asked instantly noticing that
he was wearing his green t-shirt with the circular logo, his favourite shirt to sleep in.
"I...I don't know" He replied with confusion
"Yuk you stink of beer" She said waving her hands and holding her nose,
"I don't understand what has happened" Doggett said, "Nearly every agent from the bureau is asleep
in my house" He said
"What?" Scully asked with shock, she pushed the door open and stepped into the house to find the
place littered with sleeping agents and unbelievable mess,
"Doggett what happened?" She asked
"I can't remember, the last thing I can remember is sitting in the park with Willmore" He said
rubbing his head with confusion.
"Willmore?" She cacked, "Willmore was a part of this?"
"Yeah. he's asleep in the corner of my bedroom" Doggett replied
"Well you had better get everyone up and clear up, we have to be in work in half an hour" She
said still looking with a disgusted expression around the house.
"Yeah, I guess so" Doggett said
"Morning" Willmore said as he appeared at the foot of the stairs with muffled clothes and vomit
down his shirt
"Willmore, what happened?" Doggett replied
"You don't remember?"
"No"
"Only the biggest and best party of our lives" Willmore said happily,
"I remember the park but thats it" Doggett said sadly, had he missed out on all the fun?
"Well we left the park and came back here, called up all the agents and had a party" Willmore
said, "Although we didn't call Skinner, I don't know how he found out, he just turned up"
"How come I don't remember?" Doggett whinged
"Well you were as drunk as a fart Doggett" Willmore laughed
"How comes you didn't invite me?" Scully asked
"Well...what about William?" Willmore asked
"I could have phoned Chonkey"
"At three in the morning?" Willmore said giving her a look,
"Oh no!" Doggett squealed suddenly noticing an empty bottle on the floor that once contained
his christmas brandy, "who drank my christmas brandy?"
"That would be you, when you were reciting a scene from Titanic" Willmore laughed
"I recited a scene from Titanic?" Doggett asked with embarrassment, how could he have let himself
do such a thing?
"Yep, you were saying something about 'You have a gift Jack, you do, you see people' and then 'I
see you' and then you collapsed onto the floor so we put you to bed"
Doggett felt a shimmer of embarrassment fall through him, who had seen him? Did they now know of
his love for the blockbuster movie?
"Well we do have work" Scully said angrily at the fact she had missed out on all the fun, "I
think you should get everyone out and clear up" She ordered
"Yeah" Doggett sighed.
"How are we going to-" Willmore began
"AGENT DOGGETT!" Skinner bellowed as he rushed down the staircase, "Why the hell did I wake up
beside your bed with my face in your sweaty slippers?" He asked with rage
"Oh...we had a party sir" Doggett replied
"I've never been so scared in my life, I was expecting to wake up in my bed to the sound of my
alarm but instead I woke up in your slippers!" Skinner yelled, " I think- a party?" He asked
suddenly taking note of Doggett's last sentence, "I you had a party agent Doggett?"
"Yeah, you don't remember?"
"Why no, I...I don't" Skinner said with confusion
"Well you did polish off a crate of beer sir" Willmore said,
"I did? Oh well...I take it I can trust you both to not let this debarcle go any further?" He
asked with a laugh and a pat of Doggett's shoulder.
Doggett and Willmore looked at each other with a sly grin, they finally had something to hold
against Skinner to get what they wanted,
"No sir" Doggett said smugly, "We won't tell anybody"
"Certainly not" Willmore agreed with the same amount of smugness
"Good, good, well I should get ready for work" Skinner said with embarrassment to his actions
the night before, he suddenly remembered an incident that took place, he had helped Doggett
through a recital of Grease, he had placed a mop-head on his head and played Sandy much to the
joy of the other agents. Could he trust Doggett and Willmore not to tell? Would the other agents
remember the whole thing?
"Well I'm going on to work" Scully said, still angered that she had missed out, "See you all
there" She said storming off in a huff.
"Well I...er...my keys?" Skinner asked,
"I put them in the kitchen cupboard to keep them safe" Willmore said
"Oh well, thankyou" Skinner mumbled as he rushed out into the kitchen
"Hey, guess what? I filmed the whole thing on camcorder" Willmore whispered to Doggett
"Really?" Doggett asked with excitement,
"Yep, we can watch it when he goes" He said in a hushed tone.
"Well, I'll see you both in work" Skinner said as he walked back into the livingroom, "Bye for
now" He said with a tap on both the agents backs.
Doggett and Willmore waited for him to leave the house,
"Is it me or is he trying to suck up?" Doggett asked
"Yep" Willmore laughed, "WAKEY WAKEY, RISE AND SHINE!" He suddenly called
Doggett rushed to get a chair on the sofa to view the video from the night before.
THE END
Doggett quickly made his way down the hall to his and Scully's office. He had just had
a visitation to the canteen to get his breakfast, they didn't have his favourite kind of
doughnut today: pink iced ones so he had to make do with some chocolate flavoured ones and a
few chocolate bars to get him through until lunch instead.
He pushed the office door open and strolled inside only to see a large yellow object occupying
his view, it was round and shiny and a strange whistly sound filled his ears. Confusion took
control as Doggett's face filled with surprise and shock, he quickly took a step back and allowed
his eyes to focus for a few seconds. He looked to find that the big yellow object had been a
balloon and the noise came from Scully standing behind the giant balloon blowing it up.
"Scully?" He said in confusion to the vision, she stopped blowing the balloon and Doggett saw
her face peep around the side,
"Morning" She said stressfully as she tried to catch her breath
"Er...why are you blowing up a huge balloon?"
"It's for Willmore's surprise birthday party tonight, you haven't forgotten have you?" She asked
in a moment of cackiness
"No, I remember, I have to pick the cake up at three" Doggett said with a sigh as he pushed
passed the balloon and made his way over to his desk, "No chance of me forgetting" He said
under his breath refering to the fact that the party had been Scully's only topic of conversation
for the past few days.
"Doggett you have a go" Scully said as she shoved the balloon into his direction, "I'm out of
breath"
"No, get a pump"
"Doggett!" She squealed in a moment of stressfull anger, "Just help me out"
Doggett sighed heavily and rushed over to snatch the balloon,
"Where did you get this thing anyway? It has to be three feet wide" He snapped
"At Goodies Birthday Treats on M street" She replied, "And there are three more when you're
done"
"What?" Doggett asked, "I'm not doing them"
"Please Doggett, I have so much to do, I can't cope anymore...I'm snowed under" She screeched
as a tear emerged from her eye, "I have to wait for the band...get all the presents together,
wait for the food to arrive...I can't cope!" She squealed.
"Okay okay, calm down, no need to cry Scully" Doggett said in shock at her outburst
"It's my party and I cry if I want to!" She shouted as she quickly rushed over to the door and
dashed out with her heels tapping in tow.
Doggett stood in shock for a few moments unable to accept what he had just witnessed, was she
having somekind of major breakdown over a party for Willmore? What was so special about a party
for the popular agent anyway? She didn't bother with parties on any other agent's birthday.
Doggett shrugged his shoulders and persed his lips around the balloon and begun to blow.
Skinner made his way down the hall with speed, he was so angry, he found it difficult
to even breath he was so enraged. Doggett had perchased the last chocolate flavoured doughnuts
in the canteen, Skinner always had chocolate flavoured doughnuts in the morning, if he didn't
he couldn't focus properly on his work all day. How dare he buy the last ones? How could he be
so selfish as to not think that anyone else might want them?
Doggett puffed out air as hard as he could and felt the balloon become larger, suddenly
he heard the loudest noise he had ever heard in his entire life, a hard, painful smacking
sensation intruded his lips, before he had time to even think about what had happened, he found
himself stumbling backwards with speed before somehow tripping over his own feet and landing on
his arse in a sitting position on the office floor.
Doggett wondered what had caused such a comotion, an earth quake?
It took a few seconds for the confusion to pass him by when he suddenly felt the nasty pain in
his lips again, he took in the surroundings only to see the vision of assistant director Skinner
lying on his back on the floor, his spectacles beside his head and pieces of yellow balloon
all over the office. It was then Doggett could piece together the fact that the giant balloon
had somehow burst.
Skinner suddenly sat up with an evil and twisted look upon his face,
"AGENT DOGGETT!" He squealed, "Why the hell can't I see a thing? What have you done?"
"Er...your glasses sir" Doggett said with a shaky and terrified tone, Skinner raised his hand to
his face to find his visional aids absent from his face, "Errrrr...I'm soooo angry! Boy you have
no idea how angry I am agent Doggett!" He said in the loudest most scary tone he had ever used
with Doggett. He reached his hands out and began to feel for his glasses.
Doggett wondered what he should do, should he make a quick exit before Skinner finds his glasses?
Should he tell him where the glasses are? Maybe that would make him calm down a little if he
helped him out finding his glasses.
"Where the hell are they?" Skinner squealed as he moved his hands to the left and right around
the floor,
"Er...r-r-right sir" Doggett stuttered, Skinner moved his hands to the right and clasped his hand
onto the designer frames. He quickly grabbed them and placed them onto his face where the view
of Doggett sitting on the carpet with muffled hair and suit and red lips made him even more
enraged. Skinner quickly jumped to his feet,
"What the hell happened agent Doggett?" He asked as he noted the pieces of a yellow rubbery
substance on the floor
"I-I was blowing up a giant balloon sir" Doggett said shakily, "Y-You must have walked into it
and burst it somehow"
"Huh? Are you saying this is *my* fault agent Doggett? Huh? Is that what you're implying?"
Skinner asked with rage as he menouvered over to Doggett.
"No...no of course not but..." Doggett looked to see a pen petruding from Skinner's pocket with
a small plastic figure of cartman from southpark on it. The cartoon figure was holding a book
that had a sharp corner on it and Doggett found that to be the culprit for the unfortunate
accident, "It must have been your pen sir"
"Huh?" Skinner looked down to his pocket to see his little cartman pen poking out from his shirt
pocket, "Oh right...well what the hell are you doing blowing up a balloon anyway?" He asked now
sounding calmer.
"Scully made me do it for the party"
"Agent Willmore's party?" Skinner asked, "Well seeing as it is for agent Willmore I'm willing to
let this incident pass" He decided
"Oh...thankyou sir"
"But" He said as he looked over to Doggett's desk, "I think this can be a form of apology" He
said as he dashed over and snatched up the brown paper bag containing Doggett's doughnuts.
"But-"
"But nothing agent Doggett, you knew that these were mine, I always buy chocolate ones and don't
bother trying to deny it, you were seen perchasing them" Skinner said, "Now get this place tidy
and blow up some more balloons for the party" He ordered as he stormed over to the door and
dashed out of the office.
"Yes sir" Doggett said in a bitchy manner as the door closed, he climbed to his feet and rushed
over to his desk only to find that Skinner had also taken his chocolate bars.
BUBBLE'S BAKERY 3:O9 PM
Doggett waited patiently for the birthday cake. The woman behind the counter had gone
off out the back to get it almost ten minutes ago. He had even had enough time to perchase some
muffins, cakes, doughnuts and a sandwich in the time it took waiting for the cake.
"Excuse me" He called to the man behind the counter, "Where's my cake?"
"Huh? Cake?" The man asked in a strong Italian accent, "I no nothing of a cake"
"The woman went to get it earlier" Doggett said in a bitchy manner as he pointed to his watch,
"It was supposed to be ready at three"
"Oh, I'll go see what has happened sir, please wait" The man said and rushed off out the back.
"Great" Doggett sighed with discontentment.
"John?" A voice asked from his left, he spun his head to see a familiar face, agent Pitfall. The
most hated agent at the bureau, she had a major crush on Doggett and had even stalked him for a
short time. He quickly turned away like he hadn't seen her,
"Johnny?" She said again as she moved closer, Doggett felt a feeling of dread as her arm clasped
onto his shoulder, "I thought it was you" She said happily
"Oh...Pitfall" He said with a fake smile and a nod of the head
"What are you doing here? You knew I was coming here didn't you? You thought you would follow
me and ask me on a date right?" She asked as she grabbed his hand and held it tightly.
"No!" He squealed and snatched his hand back, just the sight of the vulgar woman made him want
to puke, he certainly didn't want her to touch him.
"No? It's okay Johnny, you don't have to cover it up, I know how you feel about me" She said
with a flirty wink of the eye
"Believe me...you have *no* idea how I feel about you" He said.
"Oh Johnny, I knew you loved me too" She squealed with happiness, "Lets get married"
"Huh?" Doggett moved away from the repulsive woman, "No, I don't love you Pitfall, infact I think
I hate you more than I've ever hated anyone...ever!" He said in an honest sentence. The last
thing he needed was another stalking episode because she thought he loved her, he had to be
totally honest to prevent such a thing.
"Oh John you know you don't mean that!" She said in a loud shout causing everyone to look in
their direction, "You love me!"
Doggett felt a surge of embarrassment as voices began to whisper and laughs could be heard,
"Look just leave me alone" He said in a whispery tone,
"But you don't hate me do you John?" She squealed, "You love me!" She repeated
"Right...whatever" He said in an attempt to rid her of his territorial bubble,
"You do?" She asked suddenly sounding happy, "I knew it!"
"Your cake sir" The man called from the counter, Doggett sped over faster than the speed of
light and snatched the box before running out of the shop.
FBI HEADQUATERS
Doggett rushed to his and Scully's office and dashed inside slamming thd door behind him
and pulling down the small window blind to cover the frosted glass in the door. He took a few
deep breaths before seeing Scully sitting at her desk surrouned with huge balloons every colour
of the rainbow,
"Doggett?" She asked shocked at his strange behavior, "What's wrong?"
"If you see Pitfall, tell her...tell her I've left town or died or something" He said
"Oh, you had a run in" She said with a smirk, everyone knew of her crush on Doggett and that he
did everything possible to avoid seeing her, he even avoided the fourth floor because he knew
she worked there.
"Yes, she thinks I love her"
"What?"
"She caused a scene in the bakery so when she asked if I loved her I said whatever just to
shut her up" He blurted out with stress as he walked over to his desk and placed the cake onto
it.
"Oh Doggett that was the worst thing you could have said, you know you have to make it clear
that you have no feelings for her, Jean-Paul's advice remember?" She said, "Otherwise she'll
never leave you alone"
"I know but I just wanted her to shut up, if you see her tell her I'm gone, vanished forever"
He said as he plonked into his chair.
"Anyway you have bigger problems" Scully said
"Great. what have I done now?"
"You missed group gug at three" She said, "Skinner wasn't too pleased"
"But I had to pick up the cake...I didn't mean to-"
"It's okay, I told him that an emergency had come up and he accepted that but you have to explain
to him what it was" She said, "You'd better think up something good"
Doggett felt angry, Scully was the one who had made him pick up the cake and now she had told
Skinner that he had an emergency, but what could he say? What emergency could have occured that
would make him miss group hug?
"Anyway what's it like?" Scully said with happiness as she jumoed up from her chair. She rushed
over to the cake on Doggett's desk and lifted the cardboard lid, "Oh wow!" She squealed with
joy, "It's perfect, just like Will..." She suddenly realised that she had let her tongue slip.
She hadn't realised she was thinking aloud,
"Will? Will who?" Doggett nosed
"Er...Will you pass me that?" She asked, "I was going to ask you if you would pass me that" She
said skillfully covering up her slip of the tongue.
Doggett looked to where she was pointing to see nothing there,
"Er, what do you want?" He asked
"Er..." Suddenly the door burst open saving Scully from a difficult explanation
"Agent Doggett!" Skinner bellowed, "I demand to know why you didn't show for group hug, you are
aware of the new rule, group hug three pm everyday" He said as he stormed over to Doggett's
desk.
"Er I er...er" Doggett found that he had been taken by surprise which left his mind blank, "I er"
"Well?"
"He had a personal matter sir" Scully quickly intervened
"Yes, thats right" Doggett agreed, "A personal matter sir"
"Oh really?" Skinner asked with interest and nosiness, "What personal matter agent Doggett?"
Doggett looked to Scully for an explanation before it suddenly dawned on him that if a personal
matter comes up the agents are not obligated to tell anyone about their personal matter.
Skinner had no right to nose into his personal life, Doggett decided
"I'm waiting agent Doggett"
"I can't tell you sir" Doggett said, "It's personal"
"He's right sir, he doesn't have to tell you if he doesn't want to" Scully said
"Well seeing as you have no trust in me agent Doggett and you believe me to be an outsider then
that is up to you, just remember that christmas is coming up soon and you might just be crossed
off of my card list" Skinner said with bitchiness as he stormed out of the office.
"Nosey bastard" Doggett bitched only to be intruded with a hard smack from his little red-haired
partner
"Don't swear in my company Doggett!" She snapped with anger.
"Gees s-o-r-r-y!" He said with a sarcastic yet bitchy attitude,
"Just make yourself useful and make sure Willmore is coming to the hall tonight" She said, "Tell
him there's a raffle or something" She added as she walked over to her desk, "I have to make a
phonecall to Godrey Von Lala"
"Godfrey Von who?"
"My new psychic" Scully said, "He tells me I have potential" She said proudly, "He says I have
a gift too, so you are now looking at your own personal psychic" She joked
"Huh? My new sidekick?" Doggett asked with confusion, "But you've been my sidekick for a long
time"
"Psychic not sidekick" She said with a shake of the head
"Yeah thats what I said, sidekick" Doggett said still confused
"Your not very quick are you Doggett?" Scully bitched
"What? Why?" He asked now becoming frustrated, "Why do you need to phone a sidekick?"
"Mind your own business" She bitched, "Just get to Willmore's office"
"Yes sir" Doggett said as he raised his hand to his head to salute Scully in a sarcastic manner.
WILLMORE'S OFFICE
Doggett waltzed into the room to find Willmore typing away on his computer,
"Hey" He said, Willmore looked up to see Doggett at the foot of his desk,
"Hey" He smiled, "What brings you to my office?"
"I just wanted to make sure you're going to the party tonight" He said forgetting Scully's
instructions of keeping the party a surprise
"Party?" Willmore asked with confusion, "Agent Balaclavaah told me there was a meeting in the
hall, I didn't know it was a party"
"Ooops" Doggett whispered to himself suddenly realising he had ruined the surprise, "It was
supposed to be a surprise"
"A surprise?" Willmore asked, "For who...me?"
"Yeah"
"I thought everybody had forgot about my birthday" He said sounding excited, "A surprise party
for me?"
"Well keep it to yourself, don't catch on that you know" Doggett said
"Don't worry" Willmore smiled, he patted his nose with his finger, "Your secret's safe with me"
FBI HEADQUATER'S HALL 7:OOPM
Doggett made his way down the hall skillfully holding Willmore's birthday cake steadily.
He had been made to bring the cake down by Scully who claimed she had been too busy prepairing
the stage for the band, The Beatle-likes, a tribute band for the Beatles.
Doggett walked further and opened the door to the hall, he took a step inside,
"SURPRISE!" A hoard of voices suddenly shouted causing Doggett to jump almost two feet into the
air with fright, the cake departed his hands and landed face-first on the floor with a thud.
"Oh its only Doggett" Agent Krab's voice said
"The cake!" Scully squealed angrily, "You dropped the cake!"
Doggett clutched his chest in somekind of attempt to calm his shaking nerves, he had recieved
such a fright.
"You've ruined it" She screeched rushing over to see the damage
"Sorry...I didn't mean-"
"Trust agent Doggett to spoil everything" Skinner bitched
"I can't believe you could be so dumb you fucking moron" Reyes said as she puffed hard on a
cigarette.
"I didn't mean to" Doggett protested, "You scared me"
"We thought you were Willmore" Chopstix said
"Well I wasn't"
"I think we've gathered that agent Doggett" Skinner said, "Well don't you think you should clean
it up?"
Doggett looked down at the squashed cake with sadness,
"Yes sir" He said as he plodded over to clean it up.
"What are we going to do now?" Scully asked
"Hey they have sponge cakes in the canteen, maybe I could get Mary to put some icing on one"
Agent Delyte said,
"Good thinking" Skinner said.
Suddenly Doggett felt his cheap black work shoe somehow slip on some icing from the cake, his
leg shot out and took his body gliding forward, he had to stop himself from falling somehow and
instantly spotted a rope dangling to his right, like a shot he grabbed the rope and managed to
maintain himself. He stood up right and took a sigh with relief, suddenly an entourage of
balloons came tumbling from above and Doggett found himself stumbling backward.
Willmore pushed the door to the hall open only to see the view of Doggett stumbling around in
a pile of balloons on the floor, bursting each one with every step he took
"Doggett!" Scully shouted at the top of her voice
"I...I can't help it!" Doggett squealed desperately trying not to fall over, he stumbled for a
few more seconds, popping balloons as he went before tumbling to the ground anyway popping more
balloons as he did so.
Willmore burst into a fit of laughter, he hadn't seen something so funny for a long time,
"Doggett you've ruined everything!" Scully said distraughtly, "Its ruined"
"Agent Doggett get to your feet at once!" Skinner demanded with rage, Doggett quickly got to his
feet, he was confused due to the fact that he had absolutely no idea where the balloons could
have came from. He looked up to the ceiling to see a large net, he had released the balloons by
pulling on the rope, he concluded.
"I hope you have an explanation for yourself agent Doggett!" Skinner said as he rushed over,
"Er...I fell, I didn't mean-"
"Why the hell did you pull the rope? Do you know how long it took agent Scully to get all the
balloons in that net? Huh? Do you?" He asked poking him in the chest,
"I'm sorry I just tried to stop myself-"
"I don't want to hear it Doggett" Scully said, "Just get this place cleaned up, Willmore's
going to be here any minute"
Willmore quickly closed the door still laughing at the whole scene, he decided to give them time
to tidy up before he went in to pretend to be surprised.
LATER
Doggett placed the last balloon into the net befor climbing down the ladder, he had been
made to put all the remaining ones back while Scully, Skinner and the rest cleaned up the burst
balloons and the cake. Agent Delyte had managed to get a cake from the canteen and one of the
workers had managed to make some icing and wrote a happy birthday message for Willmore on the
victoria sponge.
"It's done" Doggett said as he reached the floor
"Good" Skinner said, "The Beatle-likes have just arrived too" He stated as four sixties-style
men entered the hall.
"Great!" Scully said with delight, "Quick up on the stage" She said as she directed the men to
the stage.
"Hey everyone" The John Lennon-type one smiled, "Who's the birthday boy?"
"He hasn't arrived yet!" Scully squealed, "Quick up on the stage" She said as she looked at her
watch. She had told the agents to inform Willmore of a raffle taking place in three minutes.
"Okay okay" The Ringo starr-type one said giving his band a look as if to say she was crazy.
The four men rushed up to the small stage and began to get their instruments prepaired.
"Oh I'm so nervous" Scully said, "What if he doesn't come? What if he decides not to bother?"
"Calm down agent Scully, I've never known agent Willmore to miss a raffle" Skinner laughed, "You
know what he is like for gambling" He said giving her a reassuring smile.
"He's coming!" Agent Buddwiza said as he came rushing into the hall,
"Quick!" Scully squealed.
Willmore made his way down the hall, he heard the sounds of shuffling snd someone saying 'ssssh'
and guessed it must be time for him to enter the party and act surprised.
Doggett got into position between Skinner and Scully, he knew the whole thing was pointless,
Willmore knew about the party anyway.
"Ssssssh!" Scully said to quieten the agents, she placed her hand on the rope ready to release
the giant balloons.
The doors opened almost in slow motion, cackment filled Scully's mind and body as she desperately
wanted her precious dream-guy to come in so that she could surprise him. His shoe appeared at
the bottom of the door as he stepped into the hall, followed by his leg and next his gelled
hair could be seen before his handsome face peered around the door.
"SURPRISE!" The agents all shouted
"Surprise" Doggett said a moment too late, Scully tugged the rope and released the balloons.
"Oh" Willmore tried his best to act surprised, "Oh my" He said as he walked into the hall,
"Happy birthday!" Scully squealed, she rushed over and gave him a big kiss on the cheek
"Whats going on?" He asked wondering if he was over-doing the surprised routine
"Its a party for your birthday agent Willmore, what else could it be?" Skinner asked, "Wheres
the free drink?" He asked
"Er...sir I wanted to give Willmore his present first" Scully said, "The drinks will follow"
"A present?" Willmore asked still over-doing his surprised routine
"Yes!" She squealed as she dashed over to a table and grabbed a small package, she rushed back
and handed it to him,
"Oh wow I wonder what it could be" Willmore said as he snatched the present, He tore it open
with speed, "Wow a CD" He said with joy, "The Who"
"Yes, I knew you wanted it"
"Wow, thanks Scully!" He said with joy
"I got you this" Doggett said as he appeared beside Willmore, spoiling Scully's happy moment
where she was expecting a kiss from her dream-guy. Willmore took Doggett's present and tore
off the badly wrapped paper, it had at least four rolls of sellotape around it.
"Wow I needed one of these" Willmore said as he unwrapped the desk organiser,
Was he more happy with Doggett's gift? Scully wondered, Did that big happy smile indicate that
he wanted the desk organiser more than the cd?
"I got you a pen agent Willmore" Skinner said as he handed him the cheap unwrapped gift,
"Oh...er thanks" Willmore said dissapointedly
"Here" Chow said as he appeared beside Doggett, he handed him a huge gift.
Doggett wondered what could possibly be inside the wrapping, it was big and square, Doggett found
that he had actually began to cack to see what was inside.
Willmore tore off the paper to be confronted with a box with red stars all over it,
"What is it?" He asked
"Open it" Chow said as he pointed to a latch at the front
"Oh right" Willmore said as he flicked up the latch, the lid opened and suddenly a huge fist
popped out on a spring and punched Willmore's nose.
"Ha ha ha!" Doggett found the scene hilarious
"Ouch" Willmore said, looking unimpressed with the present given to him by his partner, "Oh er
thanks"
"I got it from a joke shop" Chow explained
"Oh...right"
"Are we ready yet?" A member of the Beatle-likes asked over the microphone,
"Another surprise" Scully said as she pointed to the stage, "Go ahead" She called
"Wow The Beatles" Willmore said with delight, "Or the Beatle-likes" He added spotting the banner
on the drum kit.
Suddenly the sounds to 'Help!' began to play,
"Agent Scully, drinks?" Skinner asked
"Over there" She pointed to the table to the far side of the room with a shake of the head.
Suddenly the sounds of dozens of feet tumbling across the hall could be heard and Scully looked
to find that she was alone on the dance floor.
LATER
Scully spotted Willmore dancing on the dance floor talking to Doggett, he looked so happy
and it was all down to her. She couldn't wait to tell him that it was all arranged by her, he
would be so pleased, would he finally ask her on a date?
She quickly dashed across the dance floor, pushing through agents as she did so until she was
behind Doggett and Willmore, she was in the process of tapping her dream-guy on the shoulder
when he spoke to Doggett,
"I saw the whole scene!" He said with laughter, she quickly decided to eaves drop
"I didn't find it funny" Doggett said grumpily
"You were stumbling all over the place" He said, "I haven't laughed like that for a long time"
"Yeah well I'm glad you find my accidents so hilarious" Doggett bitched
"I'm so glad you told me about the party otherwise I wouldn't have came early to have a peek"
Willmore said, "i would have missed the whole thing"
Doggett told Willmore about the party? How dare he? Scully thought with anger
"It made my day, it made this party worthwile" Willmore said, "It's such a crappy party, who
arranged this thing anyway?" He asked.
Scully felt her heart sink, he didn't like the party she had spent nearly a week arranging. She
had spent so much money and put so much hard work into it to make him happy and he didn't like
it? He thought Doggett falling over was better than her party?
"Oh...Scully" Doggett said suddenly acknowledging her presence, had she heard Willmore's
comments about the party?
"Hey Scully, do you know who arranged this whole shindig?" Willmore asked, "it's kinda shitty"
"Oh er...no" She said heartbroken, "Excuse me I have to go" She said as she turned and rushed
off.
"Whats wrong with her?" Willmore asked
"Nothing" Doggett said, "Apart from the fact that she arranged this party"
"What?" Willmore asked with surprise, "You're kidding?"
"Nope" Doggett said matter-of-factly
"Oh great" Willmore sighed, "Me and my big mouth"
"She spent alot of money too" Doggett said rubbing salt into the wounds, making Willmore feel
more guilty.
"Oh I'd better go and apologise" He sighed, he quickly follwed the direction of where Scully
had gone. It led him to the door which was open, he walked out of the hall to see Scully crying
as she sat on the botton step of the staircase.
"Er...Scully" He said akwardly, she looked up to see Willmore, had her crying made her makeup
run? She quickly wiped the tears away and hoped he hadn't seen her crying. What would he think
of her if he had?
"Willmore" She said with a smile
"I er...just wanted to say sorry" He said, "I didn't mean to upset you...it was a joke" He lied
"A joke?" She asked
"Er...yeah me and Doggett decided to pretend that...er...I didn't like the party for a laugh"
He lied further, "I love the party, its great"
"Oh really?" She asked with joy, how could she have been so stupid to fall for the joke?
"Yeah, I didn't think it would make you cry" He said trying to hold in a laugh at the fact she
had cried because he didn't like the party.
"Oh...okay" She said feeling embarrassed, "But I wasn't crying...I had something in my eye"
"Yeah...right" Willmore said not believing her excuse, "Well better get back inside" He said
as he turned his back on her.
"Willmore" She called, he turned back, "Is there something you want to say?" She asked in the
hope that he would ask her out
"What? Oh right, thanks" He smiled and tunred back before rushing off into the party.
Was she that bad? She wondered in a paranoid state, did he find her that repulsive? Scully rushed
after Willmore and into the party,
"Wait!" She squealed, Willmore turned around with fright, what on earth could be wrong? He
wondered, he spun around to see Scully following like a little puppy dog.
"I just wanted to er..." She found herself speechless
"Scully, is something wrong?" Willmore asked
"No I...I..." She had wanted to ask him out but found that she didn't have the courage
"What?"
"Er...I wanted to just, nothing" She said before running off in a tearfull state. Willmore
stood for a few seconds trying to piece the situation together,
"Whats with her?" Doggett asked as he appeared beside him
"Dunno, I think she's finally lost it" Willmore said with a shrug of the shoulders
"Oh well, Musical chairs is about to begin" Doggett stated with excitement.
The game of musical chairs had been going on for a while now, Skinner had won all three
times. Doggett had become more intoxicated with alcohol and was now in a rather drunken state.
The sounds of 'A hard days night' by the Beatle-likes played as Skinner, Doggett and Willmore
rushed around the two leftover chairs with cheers from all the agents gathered in a circle.
Doggett tripped up the corners of the chairs as he went due to his state of mind, suddenly the
music came to an abrupt stop, Skinner dove onto one of the chairs while Doggett and Willmore
quickly perched side by side on the other chair. Doggett quickly shifted his arse to knock
Willmore to the floor,
"Hey!" Willmore called,
"You're out" Doggett slurred
Willmore got up and plodded off to the other party guests.
"I hope you don't have visions of winning agent Doggett" Skinner said, almost in a threatening
way as if to say that he *shouldn't* win.
"Thats the aim of the game sirrrr" Doggett slurred as Scully dragged one of the chairs away.
Suddenly the song blared around the hall again and Doggett and Skinner began to dash around the
chair with speed. Doggett found his little leather shoes pick up speed and take him travelling
around the chair with speed, Skinner's face filled with anger as Doggett neared the chair.
The music suddenly stopped and Doggett speedily whipped his arse into the chair,
"I won!" He squealed with delight
"Eeeer!" Skinner felt an angry noise depart his lips, he found himself grabbing Doggett's arm
and turfing him from the chair,
"Oooooouch!" Doggett moaned as his body was removed from the chair and flung to the floor.
Skinner quickly dove into the chair,
"No agent Doggett I believe it is me who has won" Skinner said proudly
"But thats not fairrrr!" Doggett slurred
"You're drunk agent Doggett, why don't you go home?" Skinner asked rudely
"Huh?"
"Okay games over" Scully intervened,
"And the party's over" Skinner said, "We do have early starts tomorrow"
"No!" Scully cacked, Willmore still hadn't asked her out yet, "It's only ten o'clock"
"I don't care agent Scully, come on finish your drinks, party's over" Skinner ordered to the
sounds of grumbles and sighs from the unhappy agents.
"We can't have too much fun" Doggett said under his breath with sarcasm.
NEXT DAY, DOGGETT'S HOUSE
Doggett woke to the sounds of knocking on the front door, loud cacky knocking. He sat
up to find he had an instant headache and a hangover, he had gone on to a few bars with Willmore
after the party and then to the local park where they sat like two tramps with intoxicated minds.
"Ergh" He sighed as he placed his feet out of the bed, only to feel them land on something
podgy and soft,
"Huh?" He mumbled to himself and looked to discover Skinner fast asleep on the floor, his foot
had collided with Skinner's stomach. He looked over to see Willmore asleep by the door and agent
Krab asleep in the hall outside the room.
Had there been some kind of party at his house that he had been too drunk to remember?
The loud knocking again intruded the door, Doggett quickly climbed over Skinner and walked
out into the hall to find it littered with mess and empty beer cans. Agent Dollfinn was asleep
in an akward position on the stairs while agent Potsanpanz slept at the bottom. Doggett
rushed down the stairs to find many more agents scattered around the house all fast asleep,
"What happened last night?" He asked himself as he rushed over to the front door, he pulled it
open to find Scully waiting on the doorstep.
"Doggett why are there a thousand cars parked on the road?" She asked instantly noticing that
he was wearing his green t-shirt with the circular logo, his favourite shirt to sleep in.
"I...I don't know" He replied with confusion
"Yuk you stink of beer" She said waving her hands and holding her nose,
"I don't understand what has happened" Doggett said, "Nearly every agent from the bureau is asleep
in my house" He said
"What?" Scully asked with shock, she pushed the door open and stepped into the house to find the
place littered with sleeping agents and unbelievable mess,
"Doggett what happened?" She asked
"I can't remember, the last thing I can remember is sitting in the park with Willmore" He said
rubbing his head with confusion.
"Willmore?" She cacked, "Willmore was a part of this?"
"Yeah. he's asleep in the corner of my bedroom" Doggett replied
"Well you had better get everyone up and clear up, we have to be in work in half an hour" She
said still looking with a disgusted expression around the house.
"Yeah, I guess so" Doggett said
"Morning" Willmore said as he appeared at the foot of the stairs with muffled clothes and vomit
down his shirt
"Willmore, what happened?" Doggett replied
"You don't remember?"
"No"
"Only the biggest and best party of our lives" Willmore said happily,
"I remember the park but thats it" Doggett said sadly, had he missed out on all the fun?
"Well we left the park and came back here, called up all the agents and had a party" Willmore
said, "Although we didn't call Skinner, I don't know how he found out, he just turned up"
"How come I don't remember?" Doggett whinged
"Well you were as drunk as a fart Doggett" Willmore laughed
"How comes you didn't invite me?" Scully asked
"Well...what about William?" Willmore asked
"I could have phoned Chonkey"
"At three in the morning?" Willmore said giving her a look,
"Oh no!" Doggett squealed suddenly noticing an empty bottle on the floor that once contained
his christmas brandy, "who drank my christmas brandy?"
"That would be you, when you were reciting a scene from Titanic" Willmore laughed
"I recited a scene from Titanic?" Doggett asked with embarrassment, how could he have let himself
do such a thing?
"Yep, you were saying something about 'You have a gift Jack, you do, you see people' and then 'I
see you' and then you collapsed onto the floor so we put you to bed"
Doggett felt a shimmer of embarrassment fall through him, who had seen him? Did they now know of
his love for the blockbuster movie?
"Well we do have work" Scully said angrily at the fact she had missed out on all the fun, "I
think you should get everyone out and clear up" She ordered
"Yeah" Doggett sighed.
"How are we going to-" Willmore began
"AGENT DOGGETT!" Skinner bellowed as he rushed down the staircase, "Why the hell did I wake up
beside your bed with my face in your sweaty slippers?" He asked with rage
"Oh...we had a party sir" Doggett replied
"I've never been so scared in my life, I was expecting to wake up in my bed to the sound of my
alarm but instead I woke up in your slippers!" Skinner yelled, " I think- a party?" He asked
suddenly taking note of Doggett's last sentence, "I you had a party agent Doggett?"
"Yeah, you don't remember?"
"Why no, I...I don't" Skinner said with confusion
"Well you did polish off a crate of beer sir" Willmore said,
"I did? Oh well...I take it I can trust you both to not let this debarcle go any further?" He
asked with a laugh and a pat of Doggett's shoulder.
Doggett and Willmore looked at each other with a sly grin, they finally had something to hold
against Skinner to get what they wanted,
"No sir" Doggett said smugly, "We won't tell anybody"
"Certainly not" Willmore agreed with the same amount of smugness
"Good, good, well I should get ready for work" Skinner said with embarrassment to his actions
the night before, he suddenly remembered an incident that took place, he had helped Doggett
through a recital of Grease, he had placed a mop-head on his head and played Sandy much to the
joy of the other agents. Could he trust Doggett and Willmore not to tell? Would the other agents
remember the whole thing?
"Well I'm going on to work" Scully said, still angered that she had missed out, "See you all
there" She said storming off in a huff.
"Well I...er...my keys?" Skinner asked,
"I put them in the kitchen cupboard to keep them safe" Willmore said
"Oh well, thankyou" Skinner mumbled as he rushed out into the kitchen
"Hey, guess what? I filmed the whole thing on camcorder" Willmore whispered to Doggett
"Really?" Doggett asked with excitement,
"Yep, we can watch it when he goes" He said in a hushed tone.
"Well, I'll see you both in work" Skinner said as he walked back into the livingroom, "Bye for
now" He said with a tap on both the agents backs.
Doggett and Willmore waited for him to leave the house,
"Is it me or is he trying to suck up?" Doggett asked
"Yep" Willmore laughed, "WAKEY WAKEY, RISE AND SHINE!" He suddenly called
Doggett rushed to get a chair on the sofa to view the video from the night before.
THE END