The Acolytes and the Training Dome of Doom
It had been a while since Magneto had assembled his new team and the Acolytes were in the kitchen involved in a light, friendly debate.
"Admit it! Shemp was a much funnier stooge than Curly was!" Sabertooth shouted.
"You are crazy! Curly was the greatest stooge ever!" Piotr retorted.
"Come on! Shemp was the most naturally funny of any of the stooges! How could you not like his Quivering Lip and Steam Whistle expressions?" Remy snapped.
"Well Curly had his patented Shoulder Spin and Shuffle Dance moves! Plus his 'Woo-Woo-Woo' and 'Nyuk-Nyuk-Nyuk' phrases are the stuff of legend!" Pyro shot back.
"SHEMP!" Remy and Sabertooth shouted.
"CURLY!" Piotr and Pyro shouted back.
"SHEMP!"
"CURLY!"
"SHEMP!"
"CURLY!"
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Magneto declared as he entered the kitchen. "All of you come with me."
"Wonder what we're gonna do?" Pyro said as the Acolytes walked down the hall.
"I hope he doesn't give us another 'Mutant Superiority' speech," Remy groaned. "I hate it when he just goes on and on and on…"
"They are very boring," Piotr commented.
"I promise you, this will be very lively," Magneto said as the Acolytes entered a large dome-shaped room of the base.
"What's this?" Pyro asked.
"This is the Training Dome," Magneto explained. "Here you will train to use your powers more effectively and gain other skills by accomplishing different missions and objectives."
"Interesting," Remy noted as he gazed around the dome. "So how's it work?"
"It utilizes a combination of hard-light holograms, sensors, robots, and other components to create a wide variety of realistic scenarios and environments," Magneto explained.
"Sounds like fun," Pyro said.
"Indeed," Magneto gestured to a large window on the wall. "I will monitor your progress and control the simulation from there." He left the room and soon appeared in the window. "Prepare yourselves."
"This'll be interesting," Remy said as he took out his staff.
"In this scenario you have one objective: survive," Magneto announced.
"Survive?" Piotr blinked. "Wait a minute…"
Piotr was cut off as the metal walls of the dome were replaced by a rocky landscape covered with boulders, outcroppings, gullies and rises. The sky was fairly clear and a thin mist floated above the ground.
"Nice place," Sabertooth grunted.
"This is it?" Pyro gazed at their surroundings. "What are we supposed to survive from?"
Just then the ground rumbled and shook as six huge stone golems rose from the ground and surrounded the Acolytes.
"Uh, I think them," Piotr blinked.
"Then let's lock and load!" Remy yelled as he charged three cards and flung them toward the nearest golem. The cards exploded but only cracked the surface of its stone body.
"ROAR!" Sabertooth picked up a large boulder and hurled it at a golem, striking it and causing it to reel slightly.
Piotr charged one golem head-on as it advanced, aiming for one of its legs.
CRASH!
The leg broke clear off. The golem teetered for a moment then fell with a resounding crash. Piotr finished off the fallen golem with a solid punch to its head.
"Hahahahahaha!" Pyro laughed as he shot fire at two golems and covered them with flames.
"Pyro these guys are made of stone!" Remy yelled as he continued to throw charged cards at a golem, blowing off its torso. "They're immune to fire!"
"Oh yeah?" Pyro concentrated on the flame-covered golems. Immediately the flames turned white hot and grew in intensity and energy. The golems began to crack and then shattered as the heat overwhelmed them. "Even stone cracks if you heat it enough!" Pyro grinned.
Sabertooth jumped on the head of a golem and dug his fingers into its neck. "Gaaahhhh!" Twisting hard he managed to tear the head off and jumped to the ground as the headless body fell.
Piotr picked up a stone leg and hurled it at the remaining golem. The leg staggered it enough for Remy to finish it off with a dozen charged cards.
BOOOOM!
"Yes!" Pyro cheered. "Alright!"
"That was easy," Remy said.
Suddenly a dozen metal launchers rose from the ground and began to shoot out boomerangs with razor sharp edges.
"I think it just got difficult," Pyro gulped.
"AAAHHHHHH!" Sabertooth yelled as boomerangs cut into his arms and torso. The wounds immediately began to heal but the pain remained.
"Look out!" Piotr shouted as he stepped in front of Remy and shielded him from getting cut.
"Thanks mon amis," Remy said as he threw charged cards past Piotr and blew up several of the launchers.
"HELP! SAVE ME! SAVE ME! OW! OW! THAT HURTS!" Pyro screamed as he tried not to get hit by the boomerangs.
"AAARRRGGGHHHHH!" Sabertooth tore into the launchers and shredded them to pieces, despite being hit by multiple boomerangs, several of which remained lodged in his body.
Remy blew up the last launcher as Piotr turned toward Pyro. "Are you alright?"
"Ohhhh…" Pyro moaned as he staggered toward him, his uniform torn in several places but mostly intact.
Sabertooth yanked out the last two boomerangs from his shoulder and tossed them aside. "That…was irritating!"
"Well at least we're all in one piece," Remy said.
RRUUMMMMMBBBBLLLEE!
"Uh, what was that?" Pyro asked as the ground began to shake again.
"Are those…rhinos?" Remy blinked at the gray mass that was quickly approaching the Acolytes. A mass that indicated the presence of at least fifty rhinos.
"What do we do?" Piotr gulped.
"RUN!" Remy shouted as the Acolytes bolted and tried to keep ahead of the stampeding rhinos.
"You bunch of cowards!" Sabertooth yelled as he chased after his teammates.
"Hey, you want to get mashed to paste by a herd of rhinos then be my guest!" Remy snapped as he ran.
"Actually a large number of rhinos is called a crash, not a herd," Pyro corrected running past Remy.
"Whatever!" Remy grunted.
BOOOOM!
The ground exploded right under Piotr. He was thrown into the air but managed to land back on his feet.
"What was that?" Pyro asked as the Acolytes came to a stop.
Sabertooth sniffed the air and then gazed at the ground. "Landmines! We're in the outer fringes of a minefield!"
"Can you tell how far it extends?" Remy asked.
"About fifty meters in three directions," Sabertooth pointed in every direction except back toward the rapidly approaching rhinos.
"Can we clear them somehow?" Pyro gulped as he started to shake.
"No time," Piotr said as he picked Pyro up.
"Hey! What are you doiiiiiinnnnnggggg!!!" Pyro yelled as Piotr quickly spun him around and then hurled him across the minefield.
"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" Pyro screamed.
"Next," Piotr motioned to Remy.
"Uh, ya know I think I'll take my chances being trampled or blown up thank you very muuuuucccchhhh!" Remy yelled as Piotr threw him as well.
"Next," Piotr motioned to Sabertooth.
WHAM!
Pyro hit the ground hard and rolled until he came to a stop. "Ohhh, my back!" he groaned.
WHAM!
Remy landed and rolled up next to Pyro. "Ohhh, my shoulder!"
BOOOOM!
Sabertooth hit a mine about ten yards away, flew into the air and covered the remaining distance to Remy and Pyro. "Grrrr, my lung!"
BOOOOM! BOOOOM! BOOOOM! BOOOOM! BOOOOM! BOOOOM!
"What's going on?" Pyro asked as he got to his feet.
Remy managed to stand and looked back across the minefield. "It's the rhinos! They ran into the minefield!"
"Where's Colossus?" Pyro asked.
BOOOOM! BOOOOM! BOOOOM! BOOOOM! BOOOOM! BOOOOM!
"I don't think he made it," Remy said as mines kept going off.
"Poor bloke," Pyro sniffed. "I always liked him."
BOOOOM! BOOOOM! BOOOOM! BOOOOM! BOOOOM! BOOOOM!
Sabertooth got up as his healing factor finished repairing the damage done to his lung. He sniffed the air. "The rhinos set off a chain reaction. All the mines have gone off."
"Then we'd better go and find Colossus," Remy said as he started to walk back into the now crater riddled landscape.
"If there's anything left of him to find," Pyro said following him and glancing at the remains of the rhino robots.
"He's alive," Sabertooth grunted.
"How can you tell…ooff!" Pyro tripped over a large bump.
"Ohhh…" the bump moaned.
"It's Colossus!" Remy said as he knelt down and brushed away the dirt, revealing Piotr's battered form.
"Colossus! You alright mate?" Pyro asked as he and Remy tried to prop Piotr up.
"Once there was a tsar, the tsar had a yard," Piotr said in a dazed voice.
"He'll be alright," Remy said as he stood and brushed himself off. "He's still in his armored form so once he gets over the shock of being trampled and blown up he should be just fine."
BRRUUUMMMMMMMMMM!
"Gah!" Sabertooth clasped his hands over his ears and winced. "What's that noise?"
"Sounds like a bunch of…chainsaws," Pyro gulped as several sofa-sized chainsaws appeared and surrounded them.
"Come on Colossus, get up homme. We really need ya here!" Remy laughed weakly as the chainsaws began to advance toward the Acolytes.
"In the yard there was a stake. On the stake there was a drake," Piotr droned.
"This is gonna hurt," Pyro winced as the three standing Acolytes went into action. Screams and explosions soon followed.
"TAKE THAT YOU STUPID CHAINSAW!"
BOOOOM!
"HEY THEY GOT SOME KINDA ARMOR! YEEOOWW! YA THINK?! ROOAARRRR! WATCH OUT! AAAHHHHHHH! BOY THAT WAS CLOSE! HEY WATCH WERE YOU'RE SHOOTING THOSE FLAMES! WELL YOU WATCH WHERE YOU'RE THROWING THOSE CARDS! SHUT UP AND FIGHT LAME BRAINS! GAAAHHHHH! THAT SMARTS! OW! OW! OW!"
RRRIIIIIIIPPPPP!
"HEY MY TRENCH COAT! THAT'S IT! IT'S PERSONAL NOW!"
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Ohhh, what a headache," Piotr groaned as he sat up and got to his feet. "What is going on…" Piotr blinked at his surroundings. Remy and Pyro were bruised slightly and their uniforms were heavily torn. Sabertooth was cradling his left arm as his healing factor repaired a large wound on his face. Scattered around them were the remains of several vaguely familiar, non-functional pieces of machinery. "…here?"
"Glad to see you're okay," Remy moaned as he rubbed the side of his face.
"Well this was a great workout," Pyro groaned. "Now that we're done I'm gonna go lie down for the next three days."
"Wimps," Sabertooth sneered while his arm completed healing. "I've gone through a lot more challenging stuff than this."
WHAM!
That's when a huge broom appeared and smacked Sabertooth to the ground like a bug.
"Ohhh…" Sabertooth moaned.
"What the heck?" Remy looked up and saw a enormous dustpan falling straight towards him. "AAAAHHHHHHH!" He barely managed to dive out of the way.
"Help me!" Pyro was tangled up in the head of a giant mop and struggled to get out.
"I'm coming!" Piotr ran toward Pyro only to be sideswiped by the huge broom.
"Cleaning tools?" Remy gasped as he tried avoid the dustpan that kept trying to swat him. "We're getting beat up by cleaning tools?"
VROOOOMMMM!
"Uh oh," Piotr gulped as he saw a giant vacuum that started to suck them all up.
"This is not fun!" Pyro yelled as he was sucked into the vacuum. His teammates soon followed.
"AAAHHHHHHHH!" The Acolytes yelled as they were twirled around inside the vacuum.
WHUMP!
The Acolytes landed on a rough surface and tried to regain their senses.
"Ohhh…" Pyro moaned.
"I think my spleen got knocked out," Remy groaned. "Anybody see it?"
"This is very unorthodox training," Piotr groaned as he got to his feet.
"No, ya think?" Sabertooth snarled.
"I can't see a thing," Remy gazed around at the complete darkness. "Pyro."
"Right," Pyro shot out some flames and formed a small ball of fire above their heads.
"There does not seem to be anything here," Piotr noted.
That's when dozens of sharp steel traps fell from above and landed on the Acolytes and the floor.
"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" Remy screamed as several traps latched onto him. "OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! YEEOOOWWWW! THE PAIN! THE PAIN!"
"HELP! AAAAHHHHHHHH! BOY THAT SMARTS! OW! OW! OW! THIS IS NOT FUN! THIS IS NOT FUN!" Pyro screamed as he tried to avoid being hit by traps above or stepping in ones below.
"I've been through a lot!" Sabertooth shouted while being covered with traps. "BUT THIS REALLY HURTS!"
"Hang on!" Piotr ripped off the traps that had latched onto him with ease and made his way to Remy and Pyro. Carefully he snapped the hinges of the traps on them and gently pried off the teeth-lined jaws from their bodies.
"YAAHHHHH!" Remy screamed as he was freed from the broken traps. "Man that really stings!"
"Ya know, OW!" Pyro yelped as Piotr helped him. "I am really, really starting to hate this scenario!"
"Ya know what I hate even more than this scenario?" Remy groaned while rubbing his chest. "The person who came up with this scenario!"
"This is quite sadistic," Piotr said.
"I bet somebody is having a cheap laugh at our expense," Remy grumbled, kicking some of the broken traps.
"Forget that," Sabertooth growled as he tore the last trap from his leg. The wounds the traps had inflicted had partially healed. "Let's get outta here!"
"You got it," Remy went over to what appeared to be a wall and charged part of it. "Fire in the hole!"
BOOM!
"Freedom!" Pyro yelled as the Acolytes ran out of the newly made hole in the giant vacuum.
"Now to finish it off." Remy charged the entire vacuum and then ran clear from it.
BOOOOOOMMM!
"Now that that's over with," Pyro said as he looked around. "Let's get outta this place!"
ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPPP!!!!!!!!
A large bolt of lighting struck Sabertooth.
"YEEEOOOWWW!" Sabertooth yelled.
"Oh no," Remy gulped as multiple bolts of lightning began to randomly strike the ground.
"Run!" Pyro shouted as the Acolytes ran and tried not to get zapped.
"Head for cover!' Remy yelled.
"There is no cover!" Pyro screamed.
"In there!" Piotr pointed to a cave in one of the rocky outcroppings.
The Acolytes piled into the cave as they avoided the rain of lightning going on outside.
"Bleah!" Sabertooth coughed and sputtered as he recovered from being shocked. He hair was sticking out in all directions.
"Boy you look weird," Pyro tried not to laugh at Sabertooth.
"Shut up!" Sabertooth snarled while waiting for the extra electrical charges in his body to dissipate. "You want me to throw you back out there?"
"I'll be good," Pyro said sheepishly.
"Man it's really crazy out there," Remy gazed out the cave entrance as the lightning bolts continued to randomly strike the ground. "They don't seem to be able to come in here so we should be safe."
"GRRRRRR!"
"Pyro stop annoying Sabertooth," Piotr scolded.
"I'm not doing anything!" Pyro protested.
"Then why is Sabertooth growling?" Remy asked.
"That wasn't me," Sabertooth blinked.
"Then who was…" Remy turned, looked into the cave and saw a pack of Smilodons (Saber-toothed tigers) staring at them. "...it?"
"Not again," Pyro whimpered.
"RRROOOOAAAARRRRR!" The smilodons jumped and attacked the Acolytes within the small confines of the cave.
"OW! OW! OW! YEEEOOOOOWWWWW!" Remy screamed as tried to fend off two of the smilodons.
"NICE KITTY! NICE KITTY! PLEASE DON'T EAT ME KITTY!" Pyro yelled as he was set upon by a smilodon. The large feline was too close for him to use his flames effectively.
Piotr easily tossed aside the smilodons that tried to harm him and managed to ward off the ones attacking Remy and Pyro.
"Thanks mate," Pyro moaned as he tried to stand.
"GET OFF! GET OFF!" Sabertooth yelled as he was mauled by two smilodons.
"Hey why aren't they trying to bite or claw you?" Remy gasped at Sabertooth.
"BECAUSE THESE TWO ARE FEMALE! HEY WATCH THE PANTS!" Sabertooth struggled to keep his clothes from being torn off or torn apart.
"Ya know, this is kinda funny if you think about it," Remy managed to grin.
"Where's a camera when you need one," Pyro snickered.
"That's enough," Piotr managed to grab onto the two smilodons and threw them deep into the cave.
"I'm outta here!" Sabertooth tore out of the cave while repositioning his clothes.
The other Acolytes followed him out. Piotr stopped just outside the mouth of the cave and punched the walls a few times. This caused a cave-in which sealed the entrance with rubble, trapping the smilodons inside.
"Thank goodness the lightning has stopped," Remy said looking up at the sky.
"Hey did Mags say when this scenario ends," Pyro asked.
"No I do not think so," Piotr replied stretching his neck.
"It better end soon," Sabertooth groaned as he shook himself off. "I can't take much more of this!"
Suddenly several large laser cannons sprang up from the ground and began firing at the Acolytes.
"OW! OW! OW! YEEEOOOWWWWW! OW! OW!" Sabertooth yelled as he was zapped by the lasers.
"Oh no not this time!" Pyro shot out two bursts of fire and melted several of the laser cannons. "Hahahahahaha!"
"Finally something rather simple!" Remy let loose a handful of charged cards and watched as more laser cannons were destroyed.
Piotr ripped one of the cannons clear from the ground and threw it into the remaining lasers, destroying them.
"Why am I always the one being hit by stuff?" Sabertooth growled as he put out several smoking parts of his clothes.
"Maybe because you're the one with the healing factor," Remy said.
"Stone golems, boomerangs, rhino stampedes, landmines, chainsaws, cleaning tools, giant vacuum, steel traps, lightning, large cats with large teeth, lasers," Pyro ticked off the list. "What more is there?"
That's when the ground opened up beneath the Acolytes into a very large dark hole.
"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" The Acolytes screamed as they fell.
"YOU JUST HAD TO OPEN YOUR BIG MOUTH DIDN'T YOU?!" Remy yelled at Pyro.
"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THIS WOULD HAPPEN?!" Pyro yelled back.
"WHY ARE WE ALWAYS RUNNING OR FALLING?!" Piotr shouted.
WHUMP!
"Hey I landed on something soft!" Pyro shouted.
"GET OFF ME!" Sabertooth threw Pyro aside and stood up.
"Hey the ground feels weird," Remy said as he felt around with his boot.
"And so do those plants," Piotr noted as he looked around at the various vegetation surrounding them.
"AAAHHHHHH! HELP ME!" Pyro yelled while being caught in the jaws of a huge Venus fly trap.
"Don't worry, I'll get you…HEY!" Remy shouted as several vines reached out and grabbed him.
Piotr tried to help them but was picked up by several strange plants and suspended in the air.
"RROOOAAAARRR!" Sabertooth managed to avoid being nabbed by any plants and made his way to Remy where he easily shredded the vines restraining him.
"Thanks mon amis," Remy thanked Sabertooth as he threw two charged cards at the Venus fly trap enclosed around Pyro and blew it off at its stalk.
"Aaaahhhhhh!" Pyro landed with a hard bump but managed to get to his feet. "Now I'm mad!" He immediately began shooting flames from his pack in every direction, burning every plant in sight to ashes. "Hahahahahaha!"
"Hey, watch it!" Remy yelled as he was narrowly hit by a burst of flame.
"YEAH! YEAH! BURN BABY BURN! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Pyro laughed maniacally as he continued to burn all the plants to the ground.
"Ooff!" The vines holding Piotr burned to ashes which caused him to fall. Piotr easily absorbed the impact of landing on the ground.
"Man, who ever heard of being attacked by salad?" Remy said pulling off a stray vine still wrapped around his leg.
"Wait," Sabertooth cocked his head to one side, listening. "Someone's coming."
Out of the ashes of the burned plants marched a platoon of soldiers carrying guns.
"Oh great, finally a relatively realistic and sane obstacle," Remy readied another handful of cards and prepared to avoid the soldier's fire.
"Hey what are they doing?" Pyro asked as the soldiers formed two staggered rows and faced the Acolytes.
"A la tuhuelpa legria Macarena, Que tuhuelce paralla legria cosabuena. A la tuhuelpa legria Macarena. Eeeh, Macarena!" The soldiers began to sing and dance while twirling around their weapons.
"What the heck?" Remy's jaw dropped.
"I hate that song," Piotr groaned.
"Eeeh, Macarena!" The soldiers began to shoot at the Acolytes while they continued to sing and dance.
"I'm getting sick of being shot at!" Sabertooth roared as he tore into the soldiers, causing their holograms to fail and revealing their robot forms beneath.
Remy and Pyro bombarded the soldiers at range while Piotr covered them both with his body. Soon all the soldier robots were disabled.
"I'll say one thing," Remy panted as he tried to catch his breath. "This is one heck of a workout."
"What if this scenario doesn't end?" Pyro asked.
"What?" Piotr blinked.
"What if the scenario just keeps going on and on and on, until we're so spent we just collapse?" Pyro wondered.
Just then a huge swarm of fist-sized hornets appeared and went after the Acolytes.
"OW! OW! OW! IT STINGS! IT STINGS!" Sabertooth waved his arms wildly in a futile attempt to ward off the hornets.
"NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FACE!" Remy screamed. "NO DON'T STING ME THERE! AAAHHHHHH!"
"YEEOOWWWW! NOT THE HORNETS! ANYTHING BUT THE HORNETS!" Pyro rolled around on the ground frantically.
"Over there!" Piotr pointed to a small pond about twenty meters away, the hornets unable to penetrate his armored form.
"AAAHHHHHH!" The three vulnerable Acolytes ran like mad to the body of water and dove straight in to reach the safety of its watery depths.
SPLASH! SPLASH! SPLASH!
Piotr stopped at the edge of the water as the hornets hovered above the surface of the pond, waiting for the submerged Acolytes to resurface. Eventually they lost interest and flew away.
"Gaahhhh!" Three heads broke the surface of the water as the three Acolytes greedily gasped for air.
"I (pant) really hate (pant) hornets!" Pyro gasped as he gulped air.
"I'm gonna kill the person responsible for all this," Sabertooth growled, his left eye twitching.
"We'd better stay here for a while in case they come back," Remy said, trying to relax. "The water should help with the stings."
Suddenly a large school of vicious piranhas jumped from the water and attacked them.
"AAAHHHHHH!" Remy screamed as a piranha latched onto his ear.
"YOU AND YOUR BRIGHT IDEAS!" Pyro yelped flailing in the water that was rapidly growing red.
"AFTER I KILL THE #/&$! BEHIND THIS YOU'RE NEXT!" Sabertooth roared tearing a piranha from his nose.
"I'm coming!" Piotr wadded into the water toward his teammates, lifted them up and threw them to solid ground.
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
"Ow," Pyro moaned as he managed to get to his hands and knees and crawl around a bit.
"Stop throwing us," Sabertooth groaned, twitching.
"Sorry," Piotr emerged from the water, the piranhas quickly finding out that trying to bite him was a bad idea.
"That's it!" Remy gasped as he lay sprawled on his back. "I'm not moving from this spot. Let whatever happens, happen!"
"Me too!" Pyro slumped down next to Remy. "Whether it's lightning, lasers, killer vultures, giant pistachios or buzzsaws, nothing could make me move right now!"
WHEEEEOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
"How about a giant 54-ton anvil falling straight toward us?" Remy gulped staring up.
"Meep," Pyro's eyes widened at the rapidly falling object.
"This is gonna hurt," Sabertooth whimpered as he braced himself to be turned into a pancake.
KA-BOOONNNNGGG!
"This is it!" Remy's screwed his eyes shut. "I'm dead! Turned to mush! Crushed to smithereens! Flat as paper! Funny, doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would."
"Open your eyes Cajun," Sabertooth grunted.
"Huh?" Remy opened his eyes only to see the enormous anvil seemingly suspended four feet above the ground. "But, how…"
"Uuhhh," Piotr grunted as he strained to support the anvil's bulk and weight. Piotr had been able to catch the anvil right before it struck, but it's momentum and energy had driven his legs three feet into the ground.
"Thank you Colossus!' Pyro cried as he recovered from his shock. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
That's when the large amounts of explosives inside the hollowed-out anvil chose to go off.
KA-BOOOOOOMMMMMMM!
The holographic landscape faded away as the explosion consumed everything in its path. The cool metal walls of the Training Dome reappeared as the doors opened and Magneto entered the dome.
"Congratulations," Magneto said. "You have just completed your first training scenario."
"Gah?" Pyro twitched. The four beaten, broken Acolytes lay sprawled out on the floor.
"I can't believe we survived…I can't believe we survived…" Remy moaned.
"Never again…never enter this room again…" Piotr groaned.
"I forgot to mention that while many of the obstacles are lethal and there is always the chance of you being harmed, I have ensured that none of the simulations will result in fatal injuries," Magneto explained. "Or at least contain a very small probability of fatal injuries occurring."
"Must resist," Sabertooth muttered. "Kill, kill…must resist…kill, kill…"
"Since this was your first time in the Training Dome I made sure the scenario was significantly shorter and easier than what will become standard," Magneto continued.
"SHORTER?!" Piotr and Sabertooth yelled.
"EASIER?!" Remy and Pyro screamed.
"And you'll be doing these sessions at least two times a day, six days a week," Magneto said.
"SIX DAYS A WEEK?!" The Acolytes shouted.
"Correct," Magneto replied walking out of the room.
"I'm not gonna make it," Pyro whimpered.
"I thought it was impossible to hate that man more than I did before," Piotr twitched. "I was wrong."
"Next time let's just have the scenario kill us," Remy groaned.
"Only if we're lucky," Sabertooth moaned.
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or the song "Macarena" by Los Del Rio. The lines Piotr repeats in his daze are part of a Russian children's nursery rhyme.