Missing
A Zero and Yuuki fan-fic
...what are you thinking?...
…what are you…
…what are you thinking?...
The hunter lowered his gun, watching with bored, tired eyes as the ashes that once took the shape of a vampire disappeared into the wind. Always a deadly companion to the hunt, the Bloody Rose suddenly felt like a stranger. Why could nothing stay the same? What was wrong with the way things were?
A bored sigh escaped the hunter's lips as he spun around, hands in his pockets, ready to continue the hunt he desperately wanted to end. The thrill that had once been there, the flame that had once burned so brightly, was now nothing but a spark. A spark that wasn't easily ignited like it once was.
He heard the sound of his feet beneath him, pounding a steady rhythm on the concrete, but he barley noticed that he was moving. It had been like this lately, his life nothing but one of the many that inhabited the planet. He was nothing special. Just a boring spirit that held little if any emotion at all. What had once made him special was the one thing that left him forever. The one thing he had dreamt about for so long that it got to the point where he stopped sleeping.
That one thing was missing, nothing but a memory he chose not to drown in any longer. He let it slip from his mind, thinking of it only when he needed something to fuel the fire. It was the only thing that kept him from killing himself, the only thing that kept him from sinking so far into the darkness that he wouldn't be able to pull himself out.
He was no longer the boy who could easily inflict fear into the minds of any person who ever dare challenge him. He was no longer the boy who could kill with a heart and soul that most hunters had lost long ago. He was no longer considered a dangerous beauty to both human and vampire world alike. He was just Zero. The boy with worn, lilac eyes and messy, silvery white hair. Just Zero…
…what are you…
…what are you thinking?...
Rumors surrounded the silent hunter. Rumors of how he still loved the girl that stole his heart so long ago. Rumors that he was tracking down the bastard who stole that same girl away from him. Rumors…just rumors…
His eyes closed and his breathing slowed as he continued his way down the alley the most recent Level E had been hiding in. Whatever thoughts were hiding in his head, only he knew. He rarely spoke, and if he did it was only to ask a question.
The one thing about the boy people admired was his need to know things. It was almost as if his knowledge was one of the only things he had left to keep himself glued together, the pieces that made him whole starting to crack and break away.
Many questioned his sanity, afraid that if he broke he would take his pain out on innocent people. But Headmaster Cross pushed aside other people's worries, saying the boy would be fine. Being the guardian of Kiruu for so long, he put the blame upon himself. He wanted the two to be close, but he didn't want the separation to always be considered a raw wound. He wanted Zero to heal…
The silver-haired hunter looked up, taking in the view of the city. So many memories this place held. So many bitter sweet memories…
He winced as the pain hit him full on, ripping his already broken heart into more tiny, unimportant pieces. Her name fell from his lips sweetly, so sweetly. If only she had been there to see the sight; maybe she would have been able to heal the broken doll in front of her.
"Yuuki…"
The voice is raw and broken, cracking where it should be strong. He wonders what brings her face into his mind, what it is that makes the memories break free from the restraints he had so violently enforced upon them.
…what are you…
…what are you thinking?...
…are you thinking about me?...
The missing parts of him, the parts that she selfishly, unknowingly stole from him, made him feel so empty, so…worthless.
His hand settled around the cold metal he kept chained to his belt loop. Death was just a thought…just a selfish, bitter thought… But now…it was..something so much worse…
A need…a want…a desire… To end the life he wasn't even really living, it would have been a gift.
He placed the gun to his chest, his gaze cast up to the sky. Why was it her face that he saw in the dark, rain-heavy clouds? Why did it have to be the girl he knew he could never have?
The feel of the rain was a feeling he hadn't felt in so long. It was one of the many things he had ignored, the feel of cold, rainwater against the naked flesh. It was a wake up call, one he so happily embraced.
The sting of tears brought his attention back to the gun he had placed against his chest. He gasped as a loud, unavoidable sob escaped from his lips. The emotions he had fought so hard to hide were ripping through the restraints, making themselves known painfully.
He fingered the trigger, the once familiar feeling now gone. He was touching the gun with an entirely different intention then ever before.
"Yuuki…" He whispered, closing his eyes as her vibrant, child-like eyes penetrated any other thought. They cut through his heart with a cold, violent determination. "Yuuki…"
He pulled the trigger while thinking the words, "What are you thinking, Yuuki?", running through his mind. The pain was soft and delicate; nothing like what he thought it would be like. It was almost as if careful fingers wrapped around his heart, tugging gently until its ability to beat stopped all together.
He collapsed against the rain-soaked concrete, his lifeless body waiting to be found by somebody who cared enough to try. Just to try… They didn't have to save him; they just had to show that they loved him. They just had to hold him in their arms and plant soft, fragile kisses against his cheek, reassuring his life that it would have a chance to hold on.
She just had to say that he loved him. She just had to whisper it into his ears, even if she knew he wouldn't hear it. She just had to tell him that it was always him, never anybody else.
And yet, as the rain picked up, washing away the blood that had begun to pool around him, she never came. She never reassured him that it was going to be okay. He left in the loneliest way imaginable.
…what are you…
…what are you thinking?...
…are you thinking of me?...
…Zero?...