Schrödinger's Catastrophe: RETURN OF THE PRINCESS
Author: lovepass77
Rating: The ratings for this story will change throughout and range from K+ to M depending on the chapter. It will start off pretty innocent definitely in the K+ range then get more violent and sexualized as it progresses because of the subject matter and source material involved.
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure; Hurt/Comfort
Summary: This story is an addendum to Schrodinger's Catastrophe where Amy has fallen into a coma after being in a terrible car accident. In order to deal with his pain and the fear of losing her Sheldon dreams up an epic quest the night before Amy is supposed to undergo an experimental brain surgery that could potentially save her life. The dream begins right after Chapter 20 of Schrodinger's Catastrophe where Sheldon just finished reading Amy's diary then goes to sleep in her apartment while she is still in the hospital in a coma.
In his dream Sheldon becomes the mighty Sheldor of Azeroth, hero of the Eastern kingdoms and he must travel through space, time, television, and film destroying his greatest enemies and collecting important magical objects in order to save his beloved Princess Amy Farrah Fowler from a cursed deep sleep. His friends from the Big Bang Theory help him on his journey while three mystical, spiritual gatekeepers continue to guide and challenge him emotionally along the way.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They all belong to CBS, Chuck Lorre and various other creators, writers and production companies.
Warning: To those fans who are faithful to the TV, book and film franchises featured in this dream quest proceed with caution while reading this fic. I am a huge fan of the original stories and plot bunnies too, but I will be taken several liberties within the original source material because this is a dream story.
I chose these three franchises specifically because Number one, Sheldon loves Lord of the Rings, Firefly and Harry Potter and each have received numerous notable mentions on The Big Bang Theory that I plan to draw upon within my story. Number two because I feel the fictional worlds represented in these vastly different stories provide me with an exciting backdrop and broad cross spectrum of past, present and future worlds that Sheldon can imagine himself in and that we can all imagine him in as well especially if we've seen the films and television shows.
Writing Style Change: Normally, I write all my fanfics in a sort of mixed script/story type format because they are based on television shows and movies that are written as scripts not books so I've always consider it my own personal homage to the real writers of my favorite shows/movies to use their format even though its not the conventional format preferred for this specific site. I just like having my own unique writing style that is different from other fan fiction writers here even if some people don't get it.
However, for this particular fic I've decided for the very first time to try writing one of my fics in a more traditional story format. Since this is a dream happening within Sheldon's mind that means its all technically coming from his point of view even when other characters are speaking they are meant to represent his personal interpretation of them instead of actually being them and because a lot of the original source material comes from very popular novels I just felt it makes more sense in this case to change the style. I hope people will still like it even though it's very new to me to write in this way so it might seem a bit rough at first.
Sheldon's List Information: Coming up is an important list of characters from the Big Bang Theory that play key roles in Sheldon's dream based on his favorite television and film characters. I've also provided you all with character descriptions to help explain each character in the dream. The list is divided up between the Allies, Frenemies and Foes of Sheldon because we all know Sheldon keeps a list of his enemies, so I wanted to write a list similar to one he might create himself.
Some very important characters from the books, movies and television will not be included on this list because this list only contains the characters that have Big Bang theory characters as "Stand Ins" for Sheldon's quest. So if a character is not mentioned on the list that does not necessarily mean the character won't be in the story it just means that character is not being played by someone Sheldon knows in his real life from the Big Bang Theory. Instead just imagine all those other roles are being played by the original actors or actresses that played them in movies or on television to help fill in the blanks if you want.
Objects, Tools and Weapons Information: This list contains important things that the characters within Sheldon's dream will be using, searching for, fighting for and sometimes dying over.I truly suggest reading it because although you may think you know what all of these things are from the books, movies etc. and what they can do many of them have been altered to fit Sheldon's purposes in the dream.
DR. SHELDON LEE COOPER'S LIST
Section 1: Main Characters
A.) Dr. Sheldon Cooper as Sheldor of Azeroth an avatar he created himself to play World of Warcraft. In his dream Sheldon becomes the hero Sheldor of Azeroth, a brave rogue knight monkey blood elf on an epic emotional quest to rescue his fair Princess Amy.
B.) Amy Farrah Fowler as Princess Amy who has been cursed by an evil foe, fallen into a deep sleep and resides at the top of a far away tower guarded by a horde of vicious magical creatures.
Section 2: Allies:
A.) Leonard Hofstadter as Frodo Baggins the hobbit who helps Sheldor journey to the tower and save Princess Amy. In this dream, Frodo Leonard is also responsible for getting rid of "the One Ring" a task he takes very seriously, but also has a lot of trouble letting go of and secretly wants to hold on to it.
B.) Howard Wolowitz as Ron Weasley, a humorous, horny warlock who helps Sheldor defeat Dennis Draco and battle through some new Tri-Wizard challenges in order to find the Sorcerer's Stone and the Horcuxes. In Sheldon's dream, people call him Ron Howard or Ronnie and he is already married to his beloved Bernadette Hermione Granger, but there is a problem in relationship that Ron Howard desperately wants to remedy.
C.) Bernadette Rostenkowski Wolowitz as Hermione Granger the smart as a whip witch who helps Sheldor locate the Horcuxes along with a very important potion spell needed to save Princess Amy. She is also known as the healer in the group and must use her magic to heal Sheldor and Ron Howard's wounds.
D.) Rajesh Koothrapalli as the guy who always gets killed* in each part of Sheldon' s dream Raj is a friendly character to Sheldor, but he eventually dies over and over again as three memorable and beloved characters from Harry Potter, Serenity and Lord of the Rings that were sadly killed off.
*Note: ( I plan to leave numerous fun hints throughout the story so people can have fun trying to figure out the exact three characters Raj is supposed to be in each part of Sheldon's dream without me directly telling you just to make things a bit more interesting for my readers. Hopefully it'll be pretty obvious by the end.)
E.) Penny as Kaylee Frye the folksy ship mechanic in Firefly and Penny will also represent Inara Serra, the sexy companion in Firefly whose job is to have sex with many attractive suitors and to nurture their emotional well being. She also has a thing for the handsome and clever Captain Reynolds.
F.) Beverly Hofstadter as Professor Minerva McGonagall who takes Sheldor of Azeroth to see Professor Dumbledore and she is able to give him unemotional psychological and magical advice. Sheldor really likes Professor Hofstadter and they see eye to eye on most things in his dream.
G.) Mary Cooper as Poppy Pomfrey who happens to be Sheldor of Azeroth's mother in the dream. Sheldor sees her as a nurturing God-fearing nurse who looks after him and his friends when they get sick. Sheldor sometimes gets jealous when he thinks she is giving other Hogwarts students too much attention when instead he thinks she should be focusing on him. She also uses a lot of old fashioned Eastern Kingdom home remedies to help cure ailments instead of relying on modern magical medicine.
H.) Howard's Mom as Rubeus Hagrid who wakes Sheldor up by breaking down the door and takes him to the train station in London to meet up with his friends on the Hogwarts Express.
I.) Stuart Bloom as the Owner of the Magical Comic Book Store in Diagon Alley where Sheldor of Azeroth can purchase lots of magical books and tools. Stuart has a time turner so he is also able to travel into the future where he runs a very similar, but more western themed version of the same store. There are a host of colorful nerdy characters that hang out in his stores including Captain Sweatpants, Lonely Larry and Moaning Myrtle.
J.) Glenn as Sheldor of Azeroth's faithful battle ostrich, a Hawkstrider from the World of Warcraft that is mistaken for a phoenix by those at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Sheldor rides on Glenn's back to get around instead of driving, because Sheldor can't drive.
K.) Lovey Dovey, the bluebird from Sheldon's window sill returns in his dream and brings him important letters just like the owls do in Harry Potter. Everyone else uses a traditional owl as mail carriers, but Sheldor only likes Lovey Dovey and Glenn all the other birds in his dream still terrify him.
L.) The voice of Leonard Nimoy as Tiny Spock the action figure that accompanies Sheldor on his quest and uses Sheldon's newly repaired toy transporter to travel through space and time.
M.) Stephen Hawking as Mr. Universe from Firefly who helps Sheldor infiltrate the Alliance core by using his massive super computer.
N. Summer Glau as River Tam from Firefly who helps Sheldor by examining his emotions and protecting him from disgusting Reavers. She also plays a very important second role mentioned in Schrodinger's Catastrophe.
O.) Loveable Rogue Nathan Fillion as Captain Malcolm Reynolds the commander of Serenity in the Firefly TV series and Sheldon admires him a great deal almost to the point of man crush.
P.) George Cooper Jr. as Legolas the elf who is part of the Fellowship of the Ring. He tries to help Sheldor and Frodo. In Sheldor's mind Legolas looks like his real life older brother George Jr. from East Texas. In the dream Sheldor of Azeroth is an elf and his brother is Legolas the elf, but their mother is Muggleborn. Their deceased father was a blood elf descendant from monkeys so they are half-human and half-blood elf.
Section 3: Frenemies
A.) Wil Wheaton as Lord Wheaton, the cunning and sinister descendant of Lord Voldermort and the Dark Lord Sauron. He seemingly acts as Sheldor's greatest enemy in this quest and is likely the one responsible for taking Amy away from him, but Sheldor is never quite sure if Wheaton is as evil as he wants to believe or if Lord Wheaton is really the friend he always wanted. He won't truly know which until the end of the dream.
B.) Professor Gablehauser as Professor Snape who helps Sheldor of Azeroth in many ways throughout his challenges at Hogwarts to stop the Dark Lord, but he also irritates Sheldor by forcing him to work through the challenges alongside the awful Dennis Draco and he has a secret hidden agenda that takes a long time for Sheldor of Azeroth to figure out.
C.) Barry Kripke as Sméagol Gollum from Lord of the Rings who helps lead Sheldor and Frodo to the Dark Tower in Mordor, but along the way he tries to steal Amy's tiara and "The One Ring" from them because of these objects alluring magical powers.
D.) The first and second gatekeepers in Sheldon's previous dream in Schrodinger's Catastrophe will help guide him to his beloved Princess Amy, but will also challenge him emotionally throughout the quest. These characters operate like spirit guides to Sheldor, but none of the other characters can see their true form instead they see them as Dementors.
E.) Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton plays Saffron, a double crossing companion in the Firefly world who pretends she is married to the Captain, but then tries to seduce the crew of Serenity including Raj and Sheldor of Azeroth. Sheldor likes her at first, but eventually discovers that she is a nymphomaniac thief and evil temptress working for President Seibert and Mrs. Latham.
F.) Missy Cooper as Arwen Undómiel the half Elven in Lord of the Rings and now the twin sister of Sheldor of Azeroth. They rarely get along in his dream and when he tries to intervene in her love life she beats him up. Frodo has a huge crush on Arwen, but Sheldor does not believe that a hobbit is good enough for his beautiful elf sister. He however is satisfied with her final choice to be with Aragon instead. Sheldor attends their wedding and gives a speech.
Section 4: Foes
A.) Prince Faisal as the dilettante ex-fiancé of Princess Amy who wants to win her back himself and challenges Sheldor of Azeroth love for her at every turn.
B.) The third gatekeeper is Sheldor's biggest challenge to overcome in more ways than one. He continues to try to corrupt Sheldor's mind with negative energy and cruel thoughts. His whole agenda is to bring Sheldor of Azeroth over to the dark side for good and make him give up on the princess to focus only on himself.
C.) Dennis Kim as Dennis Draco who represents the annoying student from Slytherin House Draco Malfoy. He consistently tries to upstage Sheldor of Azeroth while he is at Hogwarts.
D.) Leslie Winkle as Bellatrix Lestrange, the evil witch physicist who attacks Sheldor of Azeroth, steals from him and tries to kill his friends.
F.) President Seibert who represents the evil Alliance leader who pays off Lord Wheaton to steal Princess Amy's tiara in order to win the favor of Mrs. Latham so he can ensure his own rule over the Firefly universe by forging a new alliance with her to control all the planets and make lots of money.
G.) Kurt who represents Atherton a beau of companion Inara in Firefly who tries to steal Sheldor of Azeroth's pants at a party thrown by Mrs. Latham and who gets punched in the face by Mal. Sheldor and Kurt must fight a duel over Penny when Mal is imprisoned.
H.) Mrs. Latham as the wealthy companion leader who controls most of the companions within the Firefly universe. She also sends the seductive Saffron to seduce Raj, Malcolm Reynolds and Sheldor putting Serenity off course from retrieving Amy's tiara.
I.) The Geology Department professors and students are battlefield soldiers for the Alliance in Firefly.
J.) All sick people with germs and diseases represent the Reavers in Firefly in Sheldon's dream world.
K.) Todd Zarnecki plays a thief, computer hacker and ancient enemy of Sheldor from the World of Warcraft who continually tries to steal important objects from Sheldor including his wand of untainted power, his sword of Azeroth and the potion needed to cure Princess Amy. He disguises himself as several different key villains in each world and drives Sheldor nuts.
L.) Lilith, the cobra snake daughter of Nagini from Harry Potter. Nagini was Lord Voldermort's evil pet and was killed by Neville Longbottom. Now Lilith works as a spy for Lord Wheaton to take down Sheldor of Azeroth.
Section 5: Objects of Great Power
Princess Amy's Tiara: A magical diamond encrusted tiara infused with "The Force" that was given to the Princess by Sheldor of Azeroth a long time ago. The Tiara is stolen many times by different foes within Sheldon's dream because it gives great power to whoever has it and this sends Sheldor of Azeroth on an epic journey to find it and return it to the princess.
The Leonard Nimoy Napkin: Given to Sheldon as a Saturnalia/Christmas present from Penny this napkin is infused with the DNA of Sheldon's idol and in his dream Tiny Spock uses it as his own mini invisibility cloak. Tiny Spock also uses it to remind Sheldor of Azeroth that yes miracles can happen so Sheldor is able to do something truly remarkable with it when necessary.
The Elixir of Immortality: Created by mixing flakes from the Sorcerer's Stone with Sheldor's monkey-blood and tears of the phoenix to make a potion that is fabled to awaken someone cursed with the Draught of Living Death. But, if anyone else drinks even one drop of the potion before Princess Amy does then it will not save her from the Draught.
Sub-section A: Harry Potter
The Sorcerer's Stone: Also known as the Philosopher's Stone it can transform any metal into pure gold. It also produces the Elixir of Life, which will make the drinker immortal and was created by the alchemist Nicolas Flamel. The stone was destroyed according to the original Harry Potter tale, but in this story turns out the predecessor of the stone is still out there. Now the new Dark Lord wants it and Sheldor needs it to save Princess Amy's life.
Invisibility Cloaks: Used as a cloaking device it makes people disappear and remain unseen by the naked eye of those around them. Sheldor of Azeroth already has his own cloak and so do several other characters in this story. Each cloak-bearer wears one of a different color and symbol emblazoned on it which represents something important to the person wearing the cloak. Also, in is important to know that in this story the infamous original invisibility cloak has been stolen from Hogwarts before Sheldor arrives at the school, but he will later discover by whom and for what purpose it is being used.
The Horcurxes: Seven unique objects containing fragments of the Dark Lord Wheaton's soul. If they are destroyed then he will be too, but they are not easy to find or to destroy. Only Sheldor of Azeroth can destroy the Horcurxes by throwing them into the fiery pits of Mount Doom, but he does need a lot of help from his friends in order to collect them all. The objects Sheldor must find in this story are not the same objects as the ones used in Harry Potter, but are specific objects he imagines have a strong connection between himself and Wil Wheaton.
The Mirror of Erised: According to Dumbledore the mirror shows the "deepest and most desperate desire of one's heart." Sheldor of Azeroth tries to find the mirror because he believes it will lead him to the Sorcerer's stone just like it did for Harry Potter, but it doesn't work the way it did before. Instead the mirror will show Sheldor different desires of his heart than he was expecting.
Tom Riddle's Diary: A blank diary which Tom Riddle transformed into a Horcrux. When people write in the diary Tom Riddle is able to show them the events of the past that eventually lead him to become Lord Voldermort. The diary can transport the reader into a realm of memories, but was destroyed by Harry Potter in the Chamber of Secrets. In Sheldor's dream one of his foes tricks him into writing in the diary which then brings him back to some very painful memories including the memory of Amy's real life car accident that may just cause her death and his emotional undoing.
Sub-section B: Firefly
Mal's Browncoat: In the Firefly series, the Browncoats were the soldiers of the Independence faction rebelling against the controlling Alliance and are named after the simple brown dusters they wore over their uniforms. Conversely, the Alliance's soldiers were called "Purplebellies," because of the purple-tinted body armor they wore on their chests. Captain Mal Reynolds almost always wears his coat throughout the show as a tribute to his fallen comrades in battle. Sheldor puts on Mal's coat when he has to pose as the Captain during his quest.
Sub-section C: Lord of the Rings
The One Ring of Mordor: It was created by the Dark Lord Sauron during the Second Age in order to gain dominion over the free peoples of Middle-earth. Frodo is given the task of Ring-bearer to destroy the ring and Sheldor of Azeroth accompanies Frodo to Mordor because he must destroy the Horcuxes in order to rescue his princess. Sheldor and Frodo inevitably fight over the ring because of its manipulative power to corrupt whoever has it.
Section 6: Weapons for Battle
Sheldon's Klingon Bat'leth which was briefly stolen by Todd Zarnecki on the show appears in the dream. In Sheldon's dream Todd Zarnecki still has his Bat'leth and he uses it to kill people and then he trades it for something he deems even more valuable.
Sub-section A: Harry Potter
Sheldor's Wand of Untainted Power: Once belonged to Forgemaster Throngus in Grim Batol and is an item Sheldor of Azeroth acquired during a previous quest on level 83 of World of Warcraft. The wand is soul bound to Sheldor, but in his dream it works like Harry Potter's wand does. He can use it to battle witches and warlocks by casting spells or as a sort of glow stick to light his way in the dark. Todd Zarnecki attempts to steal it from him while he is at Hogwarts, but because the wand is soul bound to Sheldor it does not work the same way when Zarnecki tries to use it.
The Sword of Gryffindor: The sword originally belonged to Godric Gryffindor one of the four founders of Hogwarts. Dumbledore left it in his will to Harry Potter in order to use it to destroy the Horcuxes. It is one of the few things that can destroy a Horcrux, but the sword is stolen in his dream, so Sheldor must find another way to destroy them.
The Draught of Living Death: When a person drinks the Draught of Living Death, they go into a deep sleep so strong that they appear to be dead, hence the name. It is made from powdered root of asphodel which is added to an infusion of wormwood, and was first mentioned by Professor Snape. Lord Wheaton and his Death Eaters uses this potion to put Princess Amy into a coma like sleep then they kidnapped her.
Sub-section B: Firefly
Vera: A gun owned and nicknamed Vera by Jayne Cobb in Firefly. It's a powerful customized Callahan Full-bore Auto-lock and was used to disable a space station which set a trap to catch Serenity. This weapon needs air to operate, so it normally cannot function in the vacuum of space, but can inside a ship or on a planet.
G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate: Also known as "Pax" (Latin for "Peace") was a chemical compound added to the air processors in order to pacify the populace. It was originally used just to pacify people, but eventually caused most people exposed to it to starve themselves to death. Even worse a tenth of a percent of the people exposed to Pax have a much worst reaction to it. They became highly aggressive evil space creatures called Reavers known for cannibalism, rape and self-mutilation.
The Good-Night Kiss: A narcotic compound found in Saffron's lipstick that once it touches another person's lips during a kiss it knocks them unconscious. She tries to use it to help her take over Serenity and to seduce the crew including Sheldor of Azeroth.
Paintball Guns: Used in the dream during an epic Battle at Serenity Valley between the crew of Serenity along with Sheldor against evil Alliances scientists from the Geology Department led by President Siebert.
Sub-section C: Lord of the Rings
Sting: Frodo's knife which he uses to fight off attackers while they storm the Dark tower of Mordor. Sheldor continually fusses at Frodo Leonard to make sure to clean his knife before using it to cut their food while they journey together.
Grond: The powerful War Hammer of Morgoth Bauglír the first Dark Lord which he wielded in the First Age. Then Dark Lord Sauron used it during the Third Age. It was also referred to as the Hammer of the Underworld. In this dream Lord Wheaton now wields it as a very powerful battle weapon against anyone who stands in his way.
The Long bow: A deadly weapon favored by Elves and one is used by Legolas, Sheldor's brother and Sheldor himself. It is very powerful and very good for long range kills. Sheldor of Azeroth and Legolas are both very efficient at using one and almost always hits their targets perfectly. Whenever Sheldor uses his longbow to shoot a target or draw an arrow from his quiver it looks invisible to other non Elfs around him like Frodo who think Sheldor is crazy because hobbits and other creatures can't see the weapon or the arrows even though elves can.
Section 7: Tools for the Quest
Sheldor's Vicious Gladiator Armor: He wears this protective gear while doing battle in the paintball fields and while attempting to reach Mordor. It looks a like like Sheldon's paintball gear on the show, but more vicious.
Tiny Spock's Transporter: Given to Sheldor by the fair maiden Penny for eating all of his food. Sheldor tried to play with it, but it broke. In Sheldor's dream Tiny Spock has fixed the transporter so that the action figure can use it to follow Sheldor through space and time during his quest.
Princess Amy's Diary: Sheldon reads Amy's computer diary of social interactions in Schrodinger's Catastrophe right before he has this dream. In the dream her diary becomes an important tool to help him remember what he is really fighting for and to guide him back to his princess. It also contains clues that will help him to destroy his enemies. The diary appears in traditional book form in his dream instead of on a computer, but it does have an enchanted lock that only he and Princess Amy know how to open and is written in her very special language OP. The way to unlock the diary keeps changing throughout the dream challenging Sheldor because he must continually figure out how to get back inside it.
Sub-section A: Harry Potter
Time Turners are necklaces that are used by witches and warlocks alike to travel forward and backwards through time. In this story Sheldor of Azeroth buys an upgraded time turner that allows him not only to travel through time, but also through three dimensional space which is how he is able to go from a present day world of Harry Potter to the future world in Firefly and then back to the past world of Middle Earth in the Lord of the Rings. These upgraded time turner necklaces look like a spinning atom with sliding hourglasses that move back and forth. The hourglasses are filled with magically infused god particles otherwise known as the Higgs Boson particle, which is so incredibly small the hourglasses look empty to the naked eye.
Cauldrons: Used by witches and warlocks to mixed ingredients to make potions. Bernadette Hermione uses one to mix together Polyjuice potion to help disguise Sheldor and Ron Howard from Dennis Draco and his Quidditch crew of Slytherins. Dumbledore uses one to make the potion of Immortality that Sheldor plans to use to cure Amy from the Draught of Living Death.
Sub-section B: Firefly
Serenity: The Firefly-class transport spaceship named after the Serenity Valley by Captain Malcolm Reynolds and piloted by Hoban "Wash" Washburne. The ship is home for the crew of Firefly and they use it to fly around space avoiding Alliance rule through transporting of illegal goods and people for profit. Sheldor of Azeroth buys his way on to the ship because he needs the crew's help to infiltrate a secret Alliance science lab.
Shuttles: Much smaller spacecrafts inside of Serenity used almost as lifeboats whenever if it is ever necessary to abandon ship, but also smaller groups of the crew use them to get on and off planets faster and with less detection. In the dream Penny uses a shuttle to meet her prospective clients. Sheldor of Azeroth uses one to help him sneak on to an Alliance run planet and Saffron runs off in one with Raj.
Sub-section C: Lord of the Rings
Rock climbing Harness: Used by Sheldor, Gollum and Frodo in the dream to climb up rocks while travelling to Mordor. Sheldor is afraid of heights and sometimes even faints while trying to climb the rocks.
Trebuchet: A type of catapult used by the Gondorians in Lord of the Rings to fling ammo at the attackers, but Sheldor uses one to catapult himself and Frodo over a wall in his dream.
The Phial of Galadriel: A crystal vial filled with water from her fountain which held the light of Eärendil's star. The vial is given to Frodo Baggins by Galadriel as a light to use in dark places. In Sheldor's dream Frodo uses it to help light their way through a dark forest and caves into Mordor. It also helps to keep them from being corrupted by the One Ring because its good magic reminds them to stay pure and follow the light, but once the light is gone they begin to fight over the ring again.
Remember this list also may change and be updated when necessary as new chapters of the story are added.
Chapter One: "Oh, look, its Harry Potter and 98 Percent of the Sorcerer's Stone."
The door knob of Amy's closet twists slowly and squeaks as it opens. A mysterious spirit covered up in a brown cloak and wearing a Death Eater mask floats out of the closet in Amy's bedroom. This sinister villain is carrying an old looking knotted up wooden wand as it creeps closer to Sheldon. The hooded creature masks an evil smile and waves its magic wand over the poor unsuspecting physicist. The cloaked figure whispers a Latin spell over him and a green glowing light flows out from the end of the wand.
"Magnus somnium mea, regulae meae!"
These words in English translate to "My Dream, My Rules." Immediately after the spell is spoken a small scar appears on Sheldon's forehead shaped like an atom symbol. While Sheldon is sleeping in Amy's bed strange things begin to happen to his anatomy. The pinnas of his external ear lobes slowly grow up into thick fleshy points. The molecules of his blood cells begin to devolve backwards into a primate blood type. Thick course dark brown hairs sprout out all over Sheldon's body. The hairs grow at an alarming rate until most of his body is covered in monkey hair.
The irises of Sheldon's eyes become brighter and bluer indicating that his vision is growing stronger. His eyebrows arch higher, his canine central incisors along with his lateral incisors grow sharper and his muscles grow much stronger. All the way at the very core of his being, the atoms that make up Sheldon's DNA start to accelerate which will allow him to run faster, jump higher and climb rocks better than he ever could before.
Once the spell is complete the hooded spirit opens a window in Amy's room and floats into the darkness of the night. Sheldon lies in bed totally unaware of the physical changes happening to him until the next morning when he hears a loud banging noise that startles him out of REM sleep.
Someone loud and obnoxious knocks heavily on the front door of Amy's small apartment. The force of an enormous fist pounding on the door makes the entire place shake. Sheldon sits straight up in bed and yells out "DANGER! DANGER!" Amy's front door flies off its hinges from all the pounding.
"SHELDOR OF AZEROTH YOU GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! I JUST SPENT THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES WALKING UP THESE FERKAKTA STAIRS! I'M BEAT!"
Sheldon yawns loudly from lack of sleep as Howard's mother enters the apartment. He has no idea why Howard's mom is yelling for him, but he assumes his mother Mary asked her to pick him up. He reaches for his robe lying at the end of the bed and tries to put it on, but it no longer fits him. He grunts in frustration with the robe as he gets up. His plaid pajamas feel too tight all of sudden and no longer cover his wrists or his ankles. Howard's mom yells out to him again sounding both Jewish and English.
"HURRY UP! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!"
"I'm coming! I'm coming, hold your horses!"
Sheldon finally grabs the door handle and sees lots of hair covering his wrist. His eyes bulge in shock as he quickly opens the door in a panic.
"Something's wrong!" He cries out in fear as he touches himself all over. Sheldon feels all the hair on his arms and then touches the long thick points on his ears. Howard's mom isn't the least bit shocked by his appearance and behaves as though he looks totally normal to her. She yells out her reply in her usual manner.
"IF THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG IT MUST BE WITH YOUR HEAD! I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY SHELDOR! WE'RE LATE! RONNIE IS WAITING FOR US AT THE TRAIN STATION! SO COME ON, GET A MOVE ON! STOP ACTING CRAZY!"
"I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested! Look at me! I'm covered in hair!"
"YEAH SO WHAT? YOU CAN GET A HAIRCUT LATER! WE NEED TO GO!"
Sheldon frowns at her then runs into the bathroom to look in the mirror. He screams like a girl when he sees his reflection in the mirror. The buttons on his pajama top are ready to burst so he tries to take it off, but only ends up tearing the fabric with his hands by accident. He can't believe this is happening to him, but Sheldon finally recognizes the strange Elf-like face staring back at him in Amy's mirror. It isn't his normal face, but instead looks exactly like his digital avatar from the World of Warcraft.
"Oh God, what's happened to me!? I'm an Avatar! I've turned into an Avatar. LOOK!"
Howard's mom comes over to see him, but she still sees nothing wrong.
WHAT?! NO, YOU'RE NOT EVEN BLUE! NOW COME ON GET DRESSED!
Howard's mom too tired from walking up the stairs to stand up anymore flops down on Amy's couch. Her wide frame almost covers the entire length of the couch. She can't understand why Sheldor is acting so weird because she's known him for many years and to her he looks exactly like he always does. Sheldon starts to realize this may not be real and is possibly another hallucination, but he has to make sure. He comes out of bathroom and back into Amy's living room.
"Who are you?"
"WHAT?"
"Are you the real Mrs. Wolowitz?"
"WOLO WHAT? WHO IS THAT? BOY DID YOU FALL DOWN THE STAIRS AGAIN AND HIT YOUR HEAD OR SOMETHING? IT'S ME HAGRID! YOU'VE KNOWN ME FOR YEARS! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?"
Sheldon gasps he can't believe Mrs. Wolowitz just said that she is Hagrid. He stares at her for a minute and realizes that actually the real Mrs. Wolowitz has always looked a lot like the giant man Rubeus Hagrid from his beloved Harry Potter novels and movies. He checks himself out in the mirror one more time and then decides that he can work with this new beastly look for the time being. After all he designed this creature himself on his computer and has always loved his avatar Sheldor of Azeroth. He knows this must be some sort of strange dream now and he's had many strange ones before so Sheldon decides to just go with it until he wakes up.
"YOU BETTER BE GETTING READY IN THERE BOY!"
"Mrs. Wolo…uh...I mean Hagrid…um do you know where I can find some clothes that might fit me? I think the clothes I brought will be far too small on my new body…um… I mean frame."
Hagrid sighs in annoyance at how stupid that question sounds.
"WELL DID YOU CHECK THE CLOSET!?"
Sheldon heads for the closet to see what he can find. He squeals in childish delight at the sight of his vicious gladiator armor and Elf costume from Lord of the Rings hanging up inside of Amy's closet. He remembers purchasing the costume on EBAY because it was an original LOTR Elf costume from the set of the movies worn by one of the extras. Sheldon has never worn this outfit before because it's always been only a collector's item and is far too big for his usual slender frame. But, now it's the only clothes he owns that will fit his new body.
He grabs the costume out of the closet and goes into the bathroom again to change. Hagrid checks the time on Amy's stove and sighs over how long it is taking Sheldor to get ready. Realizing this is going to take a while Hagrid raids Amy's fridge for food. Hagrid finds some left over spaghetti with little pieces of hot dog cut up in it and gobbles it up. Several minutes later Sheldon reemerges from the bathroom in full costume.
"Alright, I'm ready! "
"WHAT? HAVE YOU GOT MARBLES STUCK IN YOUR HEAD? YOU HAVEN'T EVEN PACKED YET!"
"Pack, but why? Where are we going?"
"THE TRAIN LEAVES AT EXACTLY ELEVEN O'CLOCK! SO GET A MOVE ON BOY WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY!"
"Gryffindor? Train? Holy crap on a cracker! Are we going to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry where all the great warlocks and wizards of the ages go to learn their craft?"
Hagrid eyes roll at Sheldor of Azeroth as if that is very obvious. "YEP YOU'VE DEFINITELY GOT LOOSE MARBLES UP THERE! DON'T WORRY, I CAN FIX THAT!" Hagrid pulls out an old wand to perform a spell that can remove loose marbles stuck in one's head, but Sheldor protests.
"No, I'm fine! I get it now. Oh heavens me I can't wait! I've always wanted to go to Hogwarts. Well I mean I've been there, but only in my dreams. Uh, I mean this isn't a dream of course, but well you know what I mean. I'll just go pack. "
Hagrid sighs again not understanding at all why Sheldor is acting so crazy. But, Sheldor doesn't' care he is too excited. He quickly pulls his armor out of the closet and heads back into Amy's bedroom. To his delight there is a huge green trunk waiting on the floor that wasn't there earlier so Sheldor opens it. The trunk is full of gold, magical spell books including his favorite the Physics of Magic, enchanted weapons including his sword of Azeroth and potion bottles including one that smells exactly like Amy's dandruff shampoo.
"Oh Goody…. Goody…. Goody!"
Sheldor gets excited about his trip as he haplessly rummages through the trunk. But, when he opens up a bottle full of magical shampoo his mind goes back to Amy. Even in his dreams he misses her terribly and wonders if she will be on the Hogwarts Express. He sighs with anxious anticipation as he closes up his magical survival trunk. He sits down on top of it. "How can I go on an adventure without her?" He wonders out loud to himself doing his best to hold back the water works.
A loud squawking echoes outside of Amy's bedroom window and it sounds like a very large bird. Sheldor immediately jumps up ready to run away still terrified of birds. But, as the bright colorful creature pecks his large beak against the window Sheldor recognizes him as his pet.
"GLENN!" Sheldor's grins happily as he rushes to open the window and greet his faithful feathery friend. Sheldor hugs his ostrich's long neck tightly and the huge bird squawks with happiness. Suddenly, a small bluebird standing on Glenn's large back moves up closer then flies through the window right into Sheldor's lap. He is stunned at first, but then Sheldor squeals in delight again.
"LOVEY DOVEY!? OH MY STARS! YOU CAME BACK TO ME! HOW DID YOU FIND ME LD?"
The bird just looks around without speaking while he pets its head. He is so happy his bird friends have come to see him that Sheldor is able to ignore his usual ornithophobia.
"Wait, what's that you've got there Lovey Dovey."
The pretty bluebird is caring a large official looking envelope in his beak and Lovey Dovey pushes it towards Sheldon's hand so he can open it. Sheldor takes the letter from LD and it's addressed to Sheldor of Azeroth from the Head minster at Hogwarts Albus Dumbledore. He tears the letter open to read it and immediately notices that the elaborate quill writing of the letter looks a lot like Beverly Hofstadter's handwriting.
HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY
Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,
Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)
Dear Sheldor of Azeroth,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to attend the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Gryffindor Class Reunion Ball. Please come join us for the festivities leading up to the reunion and bring all necessary clothes and equipment. There is a list enclosed with this letter of all the items you will need. The reunion begins on September 27th. We await your ostrich by no later than September 1.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGongall
Deputy Headmistress
After reading it Sheldor hugs the letter to his chest. He desperately hopes Amy will be waiting for him on the train so they can attend the class reunion together. He imagines for a moment Amy standing on top of the stairs in the Great Hall at Hogwarts wearing a pretty pink ball gown just like the one Hermione wears in the Goblet of Fire film along with the beautiful diamond tiara he gave to her. This lovely image of her makes his monkey blood boil with mating lust.
But, his hopes are quickly destroyed when his pet ostrich Glenn gives him a different letter. This one is tattered, worn at the edges and smells as if it were spit out of hell. Sheldor stands up in anger when he realizes it's from one of his greatest enemies, the malevolent Sir Todd Zarnecki who now is under the tutelage of the Dark Lord Wheaton.
CHAMBER of SECRETS and WICKED WIZARDRY
Dark Lord: WIL WHEATON
(Order of Sauron and Slytherin, Third Class, Master Sorc., Chf. Crusher,
Supreme Douche bag, International Confed. of Wicked Wizards)
Sheldor of Azeroth,
We are very pleased to inform you that we have kidnapped your beloved Princess Amy Farrah Fowler and have imprisoned her. She has taken the Draught of Living Death. If you ever want to see her again surrender and bow down before the Dark Lord in the Chamber of Secrets. Hand over the Sorcerer's Stone, your gold and all of your enchanted weapons to Tom Riddle and the Mystic Warlords of Ka'a. Do not attempt to find her for if you do we will crush you for the Eye of Wheaton sees all. He Who Can Not Be Crushed will kill everyone you know and care for if you do not surrender at midnight on the night of the Gryffindor Reunion Ball.
Without question,
Sir. Todd Zarnecki
Deputy Wizard and Chief Hacker
Sheldor crunches up the letter in his fist and he cries out in anger. "No! No! No! Oh why have thou forsaken me deity in which I doubt? How could I have not seen this coming?" He wonders as he trembles and ticks in anguish. He looks around Princess Amy's room and finally notices that her tiara is no longer sitting on top of her dresser. Sheldor assumes they must have stolen it when they took her. He knows that he probably shouldn't say He Who Can Not Be Crushed name out loud, but Sheldor just can't keep from screaming out "WHEATON!"
He is so ready to kill these petaQs for stealing his princess away from him. Sheldor of Azeroth rushes out to show the letter to Hagrid. While Sheldor is showing Hagrid the letter Tiny Spock transports into Amy's bedroom and climbs into the magic trunk. Tiny Spock's neck is taped up with duck tape from Sheldon's work desk after his head was chopped off by Tiny Darth Maul. The action figure knows he must keep an eye on his owner before something really bad happens to him. Hagrid frowns with worry and nods sadly after reading the letter.
"YEAH I WAS AFRAID SOMETHING LIKE THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN! HE WHO CAN NOT BE CRUSHED HAS ALWAYS BEEN A PUTZ! WELL IF YOU WANT TO HAVE ANY CHANCE OF RESCUING THAT POOR GIRL YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO TALK TO DUMBLEDORE!"
Sheldor nods in agreement then returns to the bedroom and drags his massive trunk out with him ready to go. Hagrid is glad that he is finally ready, but then frowns again because Sheldor is headed in the wrong direction.
"NO, YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY! I ALREADY PULL THE CAR UP! NO WAY AM I WALKING ALL THE WAY BACK DOWN ALL THOSE STAIRS!"
Sheldor frowns in confusion at Hagrid until he hears the sound of a car horn right outside Amy's bedroom window. He turns back around towards the bedroom and sees Lovey Dovey has already flown into the back seat of a light blue Ford Anglia that is flying in midair. Hagrid looks at Sheldor's face wondering why he looks so surprised by the car.
"YOU BETTER GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME SHELDOR IF YOU WANT TO RESCUE PRINCESS AMY! YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME! NOW LETS GO! "
Hagrid wobbles past Sheldor and pulls out the used wand again.
"COME ON I CAN WIDEN THE WINDOW FRAME, BUT I'M STILL GOING TO NEED A PUSH!"
Hagrid squeezes through the window and uses the wand to remove the glass and widen the frame to make it easier to fit. Sheldor has to push Hagrid's big fat butt through the window into the car hovering just outside the apartment. Once they are all safely inside the vehicle Sheldor sees that the outside of Amy's apartment now looks more like one of the towering high rises he built in his favorite city. The flying car zooms off towards the London train station with Glenn leading the way. Sheldor notices as they fly away a sign that says NOW LEAVING SHELDONOPOLIS.
But, all Sheldor of Azeroth wants now is to see his princess alive and well again even if it means he will have to boldly go where no avatar has gone before.
Author's Note: I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter of Sheldon's dream Return of the Princess. Please feel free to leave comments, questions and feedback.
Now I have a question for everyone reading that will really help me with writing the rest of this story. It would be very helpful if people could either write in their reviews or pm which of these three franchises they are fans of or have at least read/seen and which if any they are not that familar with at all. Its actually more important to let me know if you are NOT familar with the franchises than if you are. If you are familar with them all then thats great you have nothing to worry about.
But, for example if you've only read some or none of the HP or LOTR books please let me know that, or if you've seen only some of the movies but not all let me know that too. Or if you've seen the HP and LOTR movies and read the books but have not watched the tv show Firefly or seen the movie Serenity just tell me in your review.
I'm going to assume everyone has seen all or at least most of the previous BBT episodes. But, really this kind of information will help me tailor this story and Sheldon's dream list better for my readers as the story continues on so that I'm not overly explaining things that fans of franchise already know all too well or leaving out important details that people who are not at all familar with these franchises will need to properly understand whats going on. Thanks again.