A/N: I'm baaaaaack! With another installment to my Seth/Marissa-ish series. Remember, please read my previous fics, Elsewhere, Heat, and Forget to Forget if you haven't already. Otherwise you will not know what's going on. I cannot stress this enough. I'm sorry but I am sick of getting reviews asking what the hell is going on, because if you only read the summary to my stuff to read the previous fics you would know. And I don't want to put everything together as a full-length multichapter story because that wouldn't work. It wouldn't fit. The writing styles are so different and it wouldn't feel right. But that's just me.

Ashes

Ryan is back.

He showed up just yesterday, the day before Thanksgiving. A day after Kirsten had locked herself in the bathroom to cry over him being gone for the ninetieth time. Seventeen days after Seth broke up with Summer. Broke up with Summer to be with Marissa.

But he hasn't talked to Marissa in weeks. He left a message on her answering machine, asking her to meet him at the beach that night – he had to see her. It sounded almost exactly like the message he'd left her the first time he asked to her to meet him in secret. That night he went to the beach but she didn't show up. She never even called him back.

Maybe she needs more time, he thinks. He doesn't know what she needs more time for, but he waits anyway. Waits for her to come back to him, he tells himself. Sometimes he thinks he feels her eyes on him when they're both at their lockers or when she stands behind him in the coffee line. Or whenever he thinks about her.

Sometimes he also sees Summer in the hallway, and whenever he does she gives him a cold glare then looks away. Seth doesn't know why. He knows that their breakup hit her pretty hard but they've had rough patches like this before. Though this time she seems to have taken it much worse than the last few times.

Back in July Seth spent hours drawing and drawing and drawing in his sketchbook whenever he wasn't with Marissa. Unlike the previous summer, these pages were filled with sketches of Cosmo Girl. Somehow he'd forgotten how to draw Little Miss Vixen. He just couldn't form the features in her face anymore. One day Marissa came over and discovered these drawings. Seth thought she would think he was creepy and stop seeing him but instead she smiled, and asked if she could keep one or two or three, or may be even four. He let her select the one she wanted and afterwards she requested one of The Ironist. He asked why. She said, Because I want a picture of you to look at. It didn't really answer anything but he gave her one anyway. She tucked the drawings into her purse and took them home with her. Later that month he visited her and saw The Ironist hanging on her bedroom wall, surrounded by every other picture he had given her. He wonders now if they are still there, if maybe she looks at them from her bed at night, the moonlight streaming in to illuminate them so she could see.

The night Ryan came back Seth was scribbling down more pictures of her when his dad showed up in his room.

Come downstairs, he said.

Seth followed him into the kitchen and saw Ryan for the first time in months. He was holding a cup of coffee and trying to sip it as Seth's mom dabbed at the dried blood on his face with a washcloth.

Hey, he said.

What happened? Seth asked.

Got in a fight with my new step dad. Nothing new. Got kicked out this time, though, he replied.

Seth didn't respond, just turned around and went back to his room. He thought about Marissa. Maybe Ryan wanted her back. He hopes not. She killed his brother – that leaves a huge scar in their relationship, right?

But what if she wanted him back? What if she had gotten over Seth? It wouldn't make much sense. To just be with someone and get over him in a week or two.

He stares at the ceiling and thinks. Outside, he can hear a breeze whispering. It's getting colder. Even in Newport winter has its symptoms. He considers calling Marissa again. Maybe – hopefully - he won't get her voicemail.

He's sick of feeling like this, but loves it just the same. In June, all he could think about was Summer, Summer, Summer. Then she dumped him and flew out of the state. Then Marissa was lonely and entered the picture. Now Seth isn't able stop thinking about her.

He sits up and stares at the wall. His posters and drawings stare back. He feels a hammer pounding in his head. He leans back and closes his eyes. All he sees is caramel-tinted skin and reddened lips parting in a smile. All he sees is Marissa.