1

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen a moth this color before."

Remus squinted down at the small insect struggling weakly in James' hand.

"I don't think that's a moth James."

"Course it is. What else would it be?" Sirius put his nose in James' hand and sniffed.

"Oi! That's my hand you're sniffing!"

"What does it smell like?" Peter asked, slightly awed by Sirius' bravery.

"Smells like moth."

"I always thought you were supposed to control the inner animal, not the other way around."

"Don't pout James. It isn't manly."

"Guys, I really don't think that's a moth!"

The bug chose that moment to bite James on the palm with surprisingly sharp teeth. He swore and shook it off. Sirius couldn't seem to stop laughing.

"It's not funny! What if I get blood poisoning!"

"What, from a moth?"

"It wasn't a moth you ponce! You ever seen a moth with teeth like that?"

"Sure. Just now."

"You git!"

And so began the Third Great Battle between James and Sirius. That morning. Remus sighed and opened the window so the might-be-a-moth could get out.

"I can see the headlines now. The great James Potter, soon to be Quidditch star, killed by rabid moth!"

"If I get a rash I'll kill you Black. The devil moth came from your flat!"

"It's your flat too you great nancy!"

Peter stood anxiously on the sidelines, occasionally cheering James on. Remus took the oppertunity to finish exploring Sirius and James' new flat. Moths aside, it was quite a nice place. Two bedrooms, large living room, kitchen.

Note to self, don't let anyone over to my flat. Ever

It had been one month since they had graduated from Hogworts and this was the first time all four of them had been together. Peter had been busy working at his dads broomstick repair shop. He wasn't fixing things of course, Mr. Pettigrew knew better than that. James had been accepted to play Quidditch for England's Reserve and had been practicing constantly. Sirius was starting out at the Auror Academy. And Remus... Remus was just trying to make rent.

"Stop biting! That's foul play!"

"Have at thee villain!"

"I think Sirius has been spending too much time at the muggle cinema," said Peter sagely. Remus could do nothing but agree.

Finally, when they came dangerously close to breaking a lamp, Remus decided enough was enough. He waded in and forcibly separated James and Sirius, holding each one slightly off the ground.

"I think you two have had enough. Don't you?" They nodded meekly and Remus let them down. James rubbed at his collar.

"Bloody hell Remus. I keep forgetting how strong you are!"

"I am a werewolf."

"I know. It's just that you're so..."

"Weedy?"

"Yes, that's it exactly. Ta Sirius."

"Thanks very much guys."

"No, it's true. You are a bit thinner than usual." Sirius frowned and put his hand on Remus' shoulder. "You getting enough to eat?"

"Yes." Remus didn't look at his eyes.

"Hmm..." Sirius shook his head. "Well, how about lunch then chaps? We can have peanut butter or ham."

"Don't have the ham" James whispered. " Sirius bought it on his own, and I don't think he went to a reputable shop."

" I heard that Potter! I'll have you know that my ham is every bit as good as yours!"

"You'd know. Ponce."

"Alright, that's it!"

And so began the Fourth Great Battle of James Potter and Sirius Black. Remus and Peter went into the kitchen to make peanut butter sandwiches.

"This is ace."

Sirius shifted slightly, putting an arm behind his head. The wind was blowing his hair slightly and Remus couldn't help but watch. He found himself doing that a lot lately. Watching. He had long since told himself how useless it was. How futile. That Watching would only make things worse. But for the life of him he just couldn't look away. The stars were shining and the moon was gone, hidden by a cloud, and Sirius was stretched out on his back, everything in the world reflected in his eyes. How could Remus not Watch?

"Isn't this ace Moony?"

Remus nodded, turning his eyes back to the sky. He didn't know exactly when he first realized that he might be in love with Sirius Black. If he wanted too he could probably trace his feelings all the way back to first year when Sirius had told off a bunch of fifth years for picking on him on the train. It seemed that every good memory he had somehow involved Sirius. Most of the bad ones too.

"I wish things could always stay like this. Don't you?"

Remus looked back, his eyes locking with Sirius'

"Yeah."

Somewhere to his right James snored. Sirius turned back to the stars.

"It won't, will it."

"What?"

"Everything's changing."

"That's what happens when you grow up Padfoot."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it. Do you know how long it's been since we were all together?"

"'Bout a month."

"Too bloody long."

"I'm sorry Sirius."

"S'not your fault." Sirius glanced over a Peter, fast asleep on James' legs. " Things used to be so simple. It was just us. The Marauders. Now James is always off with Lily, Peter's always off at that horrible shop, and you..." He turned back to Remus. "What are you doing Remus? You never seem to want to say."

Remus turned away, glad the darkness hid his face.

"Just working Padfoot. Getting by."

"Remus... Never mind." Sirius sighed. "Did you get the owl from Dumbledore?"

"Yeah."

"You gonna go?"

"Of course."

"I knew you would."

Remus stiffened as Sirius put his hand on his shoulder.

"How cool will it be, fighting the good fight and all."

"It's not going to be like a story Padfoot. People are dying."

"I know." Sirius sighed. "I just..."

"I understand. I'd rather think about it that way too."

There was a sort of silence, broken only James' snoring.

"That's why I love you Remus," Sirius whispered. "I never have to explain myself. You always just understand."

Remus turned to look at him, but Sirius was already asleep, his head pillowed on a roof shingle.

It was Lily's fault really. Though if you asked Sirius, everything was Lily's fault. But this time, it really was. If it hadn't been for her Remus would still be living in blessed ignorance. But women, especially Lily, seem to have this annoying sixth sense about things like this.

It was fifth year when IT happened. The Incident. The one they don't talk about, don't even mention. It had been two weeks since Remus hadn't even spoken to Sirius, let alone looked at him. The anger, the hurt, it was bottled up inside him like a bomb and Remus refused to let it go. He liked having it there. It made him feel powerful. And he knew Sirius was hurting. Just the look on his face was enough to tell. Sirius was miserable, and Remus was happy.

Or at least that's what he kept telling himself.

Then one day at lunch Sirius walked in and sat alone at the corner of the Gryffindor table. The light form one of the windows hit him squarely in the face and... God. He seemed to have lost weight, the sparkle in his eyes was gone. His hair, which he always kept meticulous, hung lank about his shoulders. He picked listlessly at his food. Remus couldn't stand it. He suddenly realized he wasn't angry at Sirius, that he had forgiven him a long time ago, and was only keeping this up out of stubborn pride. He picked up his tray and sat next to his friend.

"You gonna eat that mate?"

When Sirius looked at him, his eyes so full of delight and hope, Remus thought his heart might burst. Something twisted inside of him, catching in his throat and making it impossible to breathe. When Sirius hugged him, whispering "I'm sorry" over and over again Remus thought he might explode.

The next few days were bliss. The Marauders were back together, and he and Sirius were closer than ever. Though every once in a while Remus would catch himself staring at Sirius, feelings he couldn't explain filling his entire body.

Lily came to talk to him soon after. They had been friends since first year, and she never could understand what he saw in the Marauders. She had even figured out his secret before the others, though she hadn't told him till fourth year. He had once thought he was in love with her, but knew better. They were friends, and he could never do that to James.

Remus was sitting alone by the lake (The others had detention for something or other) and she sat beside him with an air of purpose.

"It's because you love him, isn't it."

"What!"

"You forgave him. After everything he did to you. It's because you love him."

"What! No! I..."

"I've seen you looking at him Remus. I'm not stupid."

"I..." Remus buried his face in his hands.

"Oh Remus, I'm so sorry."

She hugged him, but he pulled away.

"It's not like that with us Lily. We're just friends."

"You don't have to defend yourself to me Remus. I understand."

She kissed his cheek and walked away. And that was the end. After that Remus couldn't even look at Sirius without that horrible crushing sensation. Because she was right. He was in love with Sirius. And Sirius would never love him back.

"Eggs James?"

"A big heap please." James groaned and rubbed his shoulders. "I cannot believe we slept on the roof! How daft can we be!"

"Pretty daft. Here you go." Sirius spooned him up a heaping portion. He alone of the Marauders knew how to make more than sandwiches and toast. They had teased him about it at first, but no one complained when they were eating his food.

"Moony? Wormtail? Eggs?"

"None for me." Wormtail sighed, "I have to run. I'll be late for work." He ran his fingers through his hair and smiled weakly. "See you all later."

"Ta Wormtail! Don't work too hard!" James called as Peter apparated away.

"What about you Moony? Have to run off to work? Or can you stay for some of my fabulous eggs?"

"Uh..." Remus frowned, then held out his plate. He wasn't going to turn down a free meal. "I, uh, don't have to be at work till this afternoon." Truth to tell he'd been fired from his last job two days ago. He hadn't even lasted a week before they found out what he was and let him go.

"Here you are then." Sirius settled at the table with his own food and a plate for Remus. There was a comfortable silence as the three friends just enjoyed one anothers company. James suddenly glanced at the clock.

"Merlin! I better shower or I'll be late!" He tore out of the room, still trying to wolf down that last piece of toast. Sirius chuckled and choked, Remus pounded him on the back.

"So when do we get to come see your place Rem?"

"Oh, I don't know," Remus looked away. "It's not anywhere near as nice as yours. Small too."

"I don't care. I want to see where you live... Remus." Sirius took his chin. "Look at me." Remus began to tremble as Sirius turned his face. "Rem, if you were in trouble, you'd tell me. Right?"

"O, of course."

"You wouldn't be all stubborn and try to do it all on your own?"

"I..."

Sirius sighed and let him go. Remus began to breathe again.

"I worry about you Moony."

"I'll be fine."

"Moony. I..."

"Well lads, I'm off." James burst into the room and waved. "Don't wait up for me Padfoot, Lily's coming to the practice to cheer me on!"

"Bully for Lily." Sirius grumbled.

"Bye Moony! See you at the Order meeting, yeah?" He gave Remus a one armed hug. "Oh, and the shack? On the fourth?"

"Yeah."

"Great. See you there!"

James swept out of the room. Sirius opened his mouth to speak, Remus jumped up.

"Well, I better run! Work and all. Don't get yourself blown up Padfoot."

"I haven't yet have I!" As Remus stood to leave Sirius pulled him into a hug. Remus stiffened, then felt himself melting. Sirius smelled like old leather, and puppy dander, and something uniquely him. A smell Remus searched for in everything but never found.

"Take care mate. See you on the fourth, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Remus risked one more look at Sirius before he apparated away...