Dancing With SG-1
Title: Dancing With SG-1
Author: Joan
E-Mail: shelianna93@yahoo.com
Status: Finished
Category: Humor
Spoilers: Not really
Season/Sequel Info: Second Season
Rating: PG-13
Content Warnings: Slight Nudity
Summary: The SGC has a party and SG-1 gets drunk
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission of the author.
Authors Notes: This is the result of a late night discussion with my mother about bizarre scenarios. I know that this is not a very good representation of Teal'c. It is hard to do his character. This is my first fan fic so any and all comments are welcomed.
Colonel Jack O'Neill looked around the table at his friends and colleagues and then looked at his watch. He noticed that in three days it would be the two year anniversary since the SGC started exploring other worlds. This was cause for a party! The fact that he was getting sooo bored that he had started listening to Carter's 'techno-babble' was not important. He was getting as bad as Carter and Jackson. Those two rarely did something that didn't involve the SGC.
Now he had the perfect reason to get them away from their labs. His thoughts were interrupted by General Hammond's voice.
"Colonel. Colonel O'Neill!"
"Huh? What? What did you say?"
"I asked if you had anything to add."
"No. No, I don't."
"Good. Dismissed."
"Hey, Jack. Are you feeling okay?" questioned Dr. Daniel Jackson.
"Yah, sir. You looked like you were in a world of your own. And I know you weren't thinking about the mission, sir. Especially considering that there were only artifacts on P3X207," joked his second, Captain Samantha Carter. Jack shot a glare her way that seemed to amuse more than intimidate.
"Captain Carter and Daniel Jackson are correct," added Teal'c, "you did not seem to be paying attention during the debriefing."
"I was just thinking about the date."
"The date? Jack, do we need to get you to the infirmary?" teased Jackson.
"Do you three realize what Thursday is?" responded Jack, not amused.
"The day before Friday?" mocked Carter.
Jackson was trying very hard, with little success, to stifle a snicker.
"Well, yah. But, do you know what else Thursday is?"
"The day after Wednesday?" suggested Jackson.
O'Neill groaned and Teal'c raised an eyebrow. Jack thought he saw the beginnings of a smile, but dismissed the thought.
"Do you know what else it is?"
"Three days from now?" Carter and Jackson were having way to much fun with this line of questioning.
"Thursday will be the 21st day of this month," said Teal'c.
"Exactly!"
"What is the significance in that?"
"What happened two years ago as of Thursday?" Jack answered.
Silence.
"We started going to other worlds other than Abydos!"
The rest of the group still didn't see the significance. "We can have a party. Get away from the problems of the Stargate. Have some fun."
"Oh," was all he got in response. That and an eyebrow that was raised higher than before.
"Come on. You two need to take a break from all that scientific stuff you do and Teal'c here could use an example of another human tradition."
"What do you mean tradition?"
"What else could I mean? The 'Chicken Dance'!"
Three days later:
Jack couldn't believe that they had actually been able to get Hammond to agree to this harebrained idea of his. But, with a little O'Neill persuasion, and a lot of compromises an Jack's part, Hammond had agreed. Carter couldn't believe that all of the SG teams had been home on the right day. Blind luck Jack called it.
"Where is Smith? He was supposed to be here ten minutes ago with the music."
"Sir. Relax. He'll be here."
"He better. Hey, Danny-boy! How is the refreshment table coming?"
"We're almost ready, Jack. We just have to find some bowls to put things in."
"Good. Carter, have you seen Teal'c recently?"
"Yes. He said something about studying human dancing techniques. I don't think your lessons on P49282 really helped him."
"Well, its not like there was anything else to do whilst you two nerds were checking out the local rocks."
"Artifacts!" came Daniel's voice from behind them.
"Whatever. there was still nothing better to do."
Just then, Smith came running in carrying a full box of CDs and cassettes. When he got to the table, he put the box down and started to apologize for being late. Traffic jam. Jack waved it off and started going through the collection. A lot of old stuff. Good dancing tunes. There were a few 90's pop artists. Brittney Spears? The Backstreet Boys?
"I have a teenage daughter. She keeps trying to get me to listen to her music," answered Smith to O'Neill's unasked question.
"I've heard their stuff. Gives you a headache if you ask me," commented Jackson. He was leaning over Jack's shoulder looking at some of the titles.
"I've found him!" It was Carter. She had found Teal'c and was entering the room dragging Teal'c behind her.
"Carter! Teal'c! Where did you find him?"
"Meditating in his room."
"Figures. Come on! Join the party! Start the music Smith!"
Two hours (and too many beers to count) later:
"What's next?"
"How about the 'Bunny Hop'?"
"Perfect! Come on, Teal'c. Your not gonna sit out on this one."
With that, O'Neill and Carter pulled Teal'c into the line made for the 'Bunny Hop'. The music started Jack was in the front followed by Teal'c, Carter, Jackson and the rest of the SGC.
"Watch me. You'll pick it up fast. Left. Left. Right. Right. Forward. Back. Hop, hop, hop."
"What is the point of this exercise, O'Neill?"
"You're supposed to have fun. Think of it as another lesson in culture."
"We're screwed," whispered Carter to Jackson. Both got a chuckle out of that.
When the 'Bunny Hop' had finished, the 'Chicken Dance' started to play.
"All right! My favorite!"
Everyone started to dance to the 'Chicken Dance'. This was one of the dances that Teal'c had picked up from O'Neill's dance lessons. Over the course of the next hour various dancing tunes were played. There were even a few slow dances. All of the guys from SG-1 got to dance with Carter. Jack and Daniel got a good laugh out of seeing Carter and Teal'c slow dance. Both of them were drunk and neither had very good coordination by that point. After Carter had given both of them bruises and all four of them had sobered up a little they returned to the dance floor.
Around 2300 Smith called Teal'c over to the stereo and gave him some instructions and a piece of paper.
"What was that?" asked Carter, who had seen the whole exchange from afar.
"He wants me to sing and dance to the next song."
"What is it?"
"It is called 'Shake Your Bonbon'. I do not know if I should do this. Do you think I should, Captain Carter?"
"I don't know, Teal'c. It sounds like one of Smith's pranks."
"Aww, come on Carter! Have a heart. Every member of SG-1 is gonna get to dance to a song. It'll be an honor."
"Oh, yeah? What are the rest of us gonna dance to?"
"I haven't decided yet. If you get the others to do it, I'll give you a good song. Please, Carter. It'll be fun!"
"Oh, all right. Go ahead, Teal'c. You should be safe."
When Ricky Martin's 'Shake Your Bonbon' came on, Teal'c started to dance. All of the women at the SGC urged the men on with him and admired the Bonbon shaking. Janet's nurses were busy with Daniel and Carter was admiring Jack's.
Watching the chaos, Smith decided on the appropriate songs for the rest of SG-1. But, first he had to explain it to the rest of the SGC.
"Ladies and gentlemen. Those who are sober and drunk. I would like to honor the team that put this party together. SG-1. Throughout the night I will be playing songs and asking each member of SG-1 to sing and dance to a certain song. Please support them. Teal'c's song was 'Shake Your Bonbon'. I will be announcing the rest as we go. Thank you."
After another hour had passed, Smith asked Carter to bring O'Neill to him. When O'Neill was there Smith started to explain to Jack what he had to do.
"Colonel, I have picked your song. As well as Captain Carter's. If you haven't noticed, there have been many attempts to get you two together. I am going to try as well. Colonel, you will be doing the Macarena. You will dance in front of Captain Carter, here and Captain, you will watch."
"Smith. Do you know how annoying these attempts at getting us together are?" asked Cater.
"Very! This is something that we both agree on. Now, will you please not do this to us," finished O'Neill.
"Look at that. You finish each others thoughts. Your perfect for each other." When he only got blank looks he asked," do I need to make this an order, Captain?" When they finally agreed he smiled and told Carter her fate. "You will be dancing to 'Lover Girl' and will have to sing to O'Neill."
"No. Absolutely not!"
"Aww, come on Carter. Be a sport!"
"Colonel! Your supposed to be on my side. Not his!"
"Sorry. I'm outgunned. What about Daniel? What does he have to do?"
"Daniel? He'll be doing 'Funky Chicken'."
When the Macarena started to play O'Neill sighed and started to dance. Again, Janet's nurses were busy watching Daniel and everyone else was either dancing or admiring their COs. Half an hour later Carter's song came on.
"All ladies, please find a man to dance to."
The nurses stampeded Daniel. After 'Lover Girl' had finished, Smith called Daniel over.
Sam watched as Daniel received his instructions. She saw a look of horror pass over his face and then saw him nod.
Oh great. Smith knows he is drunk. And it looks like e is going to exploit that. Daniel will be miserable. Poor Daniel. Oh, well. Maybe it'll be something good.
Five minutes later the 'Funky Chicken' started to play and Daniel was on the dance floor. Smith had said that this was his song and that there was a surprise coming. He also said that the other men from SG-1 were going to join him. He had called them over and given them instructions. About a quarter way through the song Jack and Daniel put on a look of resignation and started to strip. Teal'c did the same but showed no emotion. While Janet's nurses stared wide-eyed at Daniel, Carter was busy taking in O'Neill.
Damn, he is gorgeous. Stop it Carter. He is your CO. But he is so beautiful.
The rest of the night was screwed. The next morning every one was on leave. When General Hammond asked SG-1 how the night went, Jack and Daniel groaned, Carter smiled and Teal'c's eyebrow reached new heights, entirely.
*fin*