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Hello people that own computers/laptops! How's it going? Good? That's nice...as for me...SCHOOL IS COMING NEARER! *screams in horror* THE HOMEWORK WILL RETURN! NOOOOO! I don't want to do homework. Who's with me?
Anyway in this story Tanya (97chuckles) and I will attempt to destroy a Mary-Sue. So basically this bashes Mary-Sue's everywhere!
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Summary- A Mary-Sue has invaded Hogwarts and it's up to Rachael and Tanya to save James from her!
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Disclaimer- I own nothing! ...I suppose I own the Mary-Sue but I don't want to. Take her for all I care I HATE Mary-Sue's! It's gonna kill me writing about her!
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Listening to- Her Name Is Alice by Shinedown
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It was a lovely sunny day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the Giant Squid was floating peacefully across the surface of the Black Lake.
The students of the school were inside having lunch, the enchanted ceiling above them was a lovely bright cloudless blue. The Marauders and Lily Evans were chatting happily at the Gryffindor table. Everything was perfect...
But the students felt on edge, as though something, somewhere terrible had happened. But what? What could ruin this lovely day?
Suddenly clouds rolled in, rain poured down and lightning struck. A particularly large lightning bolt struck and the doors to the Great Hall opened.
There in the threshold stood a beautiful sixteen year old girl with wavy waist length golden hair, a pale heart shaped face, a perfect figure and shining brown eyes. Her clothes were torn, ragged and dirty but it did not make her any less beautiful.
"M-My name is Bloom Alexandra Sophia Kent" she said. "Death Eaters murdered my mother a few weeks ago so I came here."
No-one questioned why she didn't go to school in the first place.
"You may stay here if you wish" said Dumbledore smiling kindly at her. Bloom nodded gratefully. "Thank you" she said beaming.
Rachael Higgins preferably Roche and her best friend Tanya Purcell were gaping at the computer in horror. Unlike the perfect girl in the story these girl's appearances were not perfect (no matter how much they wished they were).
Rachael had brown hair and an over grown fringe that was constantly falling into her eyes. (A great source of annoyance) In even the slightest gust of wind her hair ended up looking like a bird's nest and if it got the slightest bit humid it went curly. It was a great source of annoyance for her and she had hazel eyes. She was tall for her age and downright scrawny despite her round face...maybe she should cut back on the chocolate...nah!
Tanya on the other hand had wavy dirty blonde hair and...well they weren't sure what colour her eyes were. They were a strange mix between blue and gray and she had a thin face. She was a bit shorter than Rachael.
The girls looked perfectly average and had perfectly normal names, although they themselves were a bit on the giddy side, Rachael was a bit of a bookworm and Tanya...well...she could pack a punch and if she tells you to shut up for the love of God listen to her!
"Oh no" groaned Rachael. "It's another one!"
"Bloom?" said Tanya wrinkling her nose. "Isn't that the name of the fairy from that old show you watch?"
"Yeah" grumbled Rachael "And this blonde bimbo is putting Bloom's name to shame!"
"Want to flame the story then?" Tanya asked.
"Nah" said Rachael with a wave of her hand. "Flaming is just plain mean. Besides we haven't finished the chapter yet."
James Potter stood up and walked towards her smiling widely.
Tanya growled. "If that Mary-Sue effects James in ANY way, shape or form I will kill her!"
"My name's James Potter" he said. "Want to sit at the Gryffindor table?"
Bloom nodded. "Of course" she said taking his hand and walked with him to the Gryffindor table.
"She's effecting him!" yelled Tanya angrily "She's effecting him damn it!"
"Hello" she said pleasantly to Lily and the other Marauders "I'm Bloom."
Sirius Black a boy with wavy shoulder length black hair, a pale hearth shaped face and gray eyes blinked at her. Unlike James he did not seem to think Bloom looked particularly special. "Yeah...hi...I'm Sirius Black" he said and turned his back on her and started talking to Frank Longbottom instead.
"Oh thank God Sirius isn't being effected!" said Rachael happily.
"Yes but she's effecting James!" said Tanya still looking very angry.
"Sirius is more important!"
"NO HE IS NOT!"
"I'm Remus Lupin" said Remus a boy with amber eyes and light brown hair. He, like Sirius, did not seem to think that Bloom was anything special.
"THANK YOU MERLIN!" wailed Rachael and Tanya.
"I-I'm P-P-P-Peter P-Pettigrew" stuttered Peter Pettigrew, a short cubby boy with watery blue eyes and blonde hair. It was impossible to tell if he liked Bloom, since he was always stuttering.
Lily Evans, a pretty girl with long red hair and emerald green eyes didn't say anything. She was not even looking at Bloom and was instead talking to Mary MacDonald.
"Okay so far only James seems effected by her" said Rachael. "That's good."
"Why couldn't she effect Snape?" groaned Tanya "Then I wouldn't care! But she's effecting JAMES!"
"Shh! We're almost done!"
Bloom smiled widely at James showing her even shiny white teeth as he explained how things worked around Hogwarts.
Despite all the awful things that had happened to Bloom lately things finally seemed to be looking up.
"And that's the end of that" Rachael scowled in disgust.
"I say we flame it!" said Tanya moving the mouse down to the review button but then she stopped. She hated flames and didn't want to be a flamer. But this little Mary-Sue was effecting James Potter! She was not about to let that go unpunished!
"I don't want to flame it" said Rachael slowly "But I don't want to lie and say that I like it either. That will just encourage the author and the Mary-Sue."
"Me too" said Tanya "But we can't let a Mary-Sue run around Hogwarts!"
"I have an idea!" said Rachael and she crawled under her bed (unexplored territory!) and came out a few minutes later covered in dust.
She peered under her bed again and shuddered. "I have got to clean under there!" she said wiping dust off her Tinkerbell T-shirt.
"So what did you get?" Tanya asked.
Rachael held up her hand showing that she was holding a round red button with white writing on it that said 'Easy!'
"...An Easy Button?" Tanya asked.
"Yep" said Rachael brightly. "We're going to use this to get to Hogwarts!"
"...Is that even possible?"
"It's an Easy Button Tanya! Of course it's possible!" said Rachael and she pressed the button and the two thirteen year olds were sucked into the laptop.
The girls landed with a thump in one of the hallways of Hogwarts. They could hear talking nearby and assumed they were near the Great Hall. Good. That would make things easier.
But still they moved slowly and swiftly, because despite knowing that Bloom was in the Great Hall Mary-Sue's usually brought another Mary-Sue with them and you never now...She might be watching them!
They got to the doors of the hall and stopped suddenly scared. There was a freaking Mary-Sue in there! Just because they weren't Harry Potter characters didn't mean she couldn't harm them!
"Now are we sure we want to do this?" Rachael asked.
"Yes" said Tanya firmly. "That bimbo is making James act Out of Character! I must kill her!"
"I know" said Rachael. "But in that hall..." she lowered her voice to a dramatic whisper "There be monsters!"
"Yeah" said Tanya "Plus there's Sirius Black who you are obsessed with and a few of your own Other Characters."
"Ah crap Agatha Bole is in there!" said Rachael.
"Oh yeah I forgot about her" said Tanya "But on the plus side she has to do what you say. You are basically her god."
"True" said Rachael "Well..." she took a deep breath and reached for the door handle. "Let's go Gryff!"
"Right behind you Huffle."
Rachael opened the doors. Despite the large creaking noise it made no-one turned to look at them. Many of them were focused on Bloom.
Damned Mary-Sue.
Tanya cleared her throat loudly but still no-one took any notice of them.
"Hello?" said Tanya. "OI! WILL YOU PAY ATTENTION?"
Still no-one looked at them.
Bloom smiled at James, stood and left with five other girls following her. Apparently she had already made friends. Bloom didn't even notice them as she passed with her 'friends.'
"Now that she's gone will you listen?" yelled Tanya but no-one did anything.
Rachael sighed and yelled as loud as she could "HEY LOOK! IT'S JAMES POTTER'S AND LILY EVANS' CHILD WHO HAS TRAVELED BACK IN TIME TO READ BOOKS ABOUT HIS LIFE WITH YOU ALL!"
Now, at long last everyone turned to look at them. Many of the boys looked disappointed.
"Hey! You're not Bloom!" said Benjy Fenwick. Rachael's eyebrow twitched. Bloom had effected Benjy too?
"No we're not Bloom" sad Tanya scowling. "We're two normal thirteen year old girls who have come to give you a warning."
"What is it?" asked Remus Lupin.
"Is it Death Eaters?" asked Marlene McKinnon.
"Is it You-Know-Who?" asked Frank Longbottom.
"No" said Rachael.
"But it's worse" said Tanya.
"Much worse!" said Rachael.
"What could be worse than Death Eaters and Voldemort?" asked Sirius Black.
Rachael and Tanya took a deep breath and said at the same time; "A MARY-SUE HAS INVADED HOGWARTS!"
All hell broke loose as the students and most teachers started screaming in horror.
"Well" said Rachael. "They took that better than I thought they would!"
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A/N: Yes. I made a Mary-Sue specially for this story! And bloody hell it pains me to write about her! I already hate her! Grr...Damn Mary-Sues... And I couldn't help but put in that part about reading the Harry Potter books. I love those fanfictions don't get me wrong but it's funny to make fun of them :D Anyway review!