Title: In His Father's Image
Author: Steph (ILUVNYYANK@aol.com)
Category: Drama/Romance overtones
Pairing: Sydney/Vaughn
Spoilers: "The Confession", "Q & A", "Snowman".
Rating: PG
Archive: Sure, just let me know where.
Disclaimer: Alias and its characters do not belong to me. I do this out of a love for the show and no infringement is intended.
Summary: Sydney and Vaughn visit his mother to tell her about Laura's involvement in his father's death.
Note: This story takes place sometime after "The Confession" and sometime before "Almost Thirty Years". Hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you thought! :) ~Steph
* * * In His Father's Image: Part 1/1 * * *
They leave their homes ten minutes apart and he arrives eight minutes before her. He pulls into the driveway and waits for her car to do the same. He smiles when he sees her car appear in his rearview mirror. She parks next to him and they both exit their cars at the same time.
She smiles nervously at him. "Hi."
"Hi," he replies. He pauses, noting her anxious expression. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
She shrugs. "Are you sure you want me to do this? This is only going to make it harder for her, Vaughn."
He shakes his head. "I think she needs to hear this from both of us."
She nods, but her expression does not change.
Vaughn heads towards the door, Sydney beside him. He takes a deep breath before ringing the bell. Within seconds, the door swings open, revealing a woman in her late fifties.
Sydney studies her, noting how she resembles her son. She has soft gray hair, which is cut just below her ears and styled to one side. Her skin is tan and shows faint signs of wrinkles. She has a slight build, weighs no more than a hundred pounds and stands no taller than 5'4". Her smile is easy and disarming, like her son's. And the piercing green eyes that stare back at Sydney are more than a little familiar.
"Michael!" she nearly screams when she lays eyes on him and quickly throws her arms around his body.
Vaughn wraps his arms around his mother and holds her tight. Sydney moves a few paces back, suddenly feeling like an intruder.
Before long, they separate and his mother wags a scolding finger at him. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I would have prepared your favorite meal!"
He smiles and shakes his head. "I wanted to surprise you, Mom. And I didn't want you to go to any trouble."
His mother suddenly notices Sydney's presence and turns to her. "Oh, I am so sorry. I didn't even notice you there."
Sydney offers her what she hopes to be an easy smile, void of the discomfort she feels. Vaughn opens his mouth to introduce Sydney, but his mother cuts him off.
"You must be Michael's new girlfriend." She eyes Vaughn before going on with mock terseness, "Not that I would know if my son had a new girlfriend. He tends to be very secretive about his relationships. It seemed by the time I'd found out about that Alice girl, they'd broken up."
Vaughn shakes his head and offers her a sheepish grin. "Mom, you know that's not true. And, actually, Sydney's not my-..."
She offers Sydney her hand, cutting her son off again. "I'm Michael's mother, Anne. I can only hope that you're not engaged or married already."
"Mom," Vaughn groans and rolls his eyes like an embarrassed teenager.
Sydney smiles at Anne. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Vaughn. I'm Sydney Bristow." She pauses and then adds hesitantly. "A friend and coworker of your sons."
Her eyes widen. "Oh, I apologize for my assumption then. Nice to meet you, Sydney. Please, call me Anne." She pauses, studying Sydney for a moment before turning her attention back to her son. "And why is it that you haven't snatched this one up by now, Michael? I swear, I'll be eighty before I have any grandchildren."
Sydney hides her smile and Vaughn tries desperately not to blush. Sydney and Anne wait for his response and when none follows, Anne speaks. "Well, come on in, you two."
She moves aside and allows them entrance. Sydney surveys the simple ranch-style house. It is very neat and decorated with only the bare essentials. The walls are a plain white and every visible room has a variation of a beige-colored rug. The traditional furniture of the living room is made of oak and the couches are covered in a muted yellow fabric.
Anne leads them into the living room and turns to Sydney. "Make yourself comfortable. Would you like something to drink?"
Sydney offers her a polite smile and shake of her head, "No, thank you."
Sydney and Vaughn take a seat on the couch and Anne sits in a chair across from them.
Anne shakes her head at her son. "Really, Michael, I think it's been five or six months since I've seen you last."
Vaughn sighs, "We had dinner less than a month ago, Mom."
Anne's tone is playful, but she seems to mean what she says. "Well, it feels like forever since I've seen you. And you hardly ever call."
"Mom, we've been over and over this. You know my job doesn't leave much time for a personal life."
Anne's face suddenly hardens and she lowers her eyes. She presses her hands over her khakis, trying to work out an invisible wrinkle.
Her voice softens. "Yes, I know all about your job."
Vaughn shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Anyone paying attention would see that his job is a touchy subject between them.
Anne swallows hard and looks up at Sydney. "I don't know if you have any children, Ms. Bristow."
"Please, call me Sydney."
"I don't know if you have any children, Sydney, but one of the hardest things a parent ever has to do is learn how to let go. You raise your children, they spend years depending on you, you worry about them, you see them everyday...They're your whole world. And then, one day, they pack up their things and you only see them on holidays and an occasional weekend. You may get a phone call every once in a while. They start to have their own lives, separate from you, and you're left to wander around an empty house." She pauses and then adds, "It's just not natural. A mother shouldn't be expected to go from seeing her child everyday to once in a blue moon."
Sydney can only stare at Anne, realizing that a woman who feels all alone in this world is staring back. Vaughn simply looks out the window to his left.
Anne abruptly stands up and offers Sydney a weak smile. "I think I could use a cup of tea. Are you sure I can't interest you in anything?"
Sydney smiles. "Actually, tea sounds great. Thank you."
Anne nods and exits the room.
Sydney and Vaughn sit in silence for a moment, before he breaks it. His eyes never meet hers. "She hates my job. She begged me not to join the C.I.A. My mother has always been afraid that I would suffer the same fate as my father."
He finally turns to her. "After he died, I was everything to her. And one of the hardest things I've ever had to do is walk out that door and head off to college. She was all alone after and it killed me to know that. When I told her I wanted to join the C.I.A., she became consumed with the fear that I too would die and then she'd really be all alone."
"It must have been very difficult for her. And it must have been very difficult for you to go against her wishes."
He nods. "I love my mother and the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her, but I had to do it. I knew this is what I was meant to do. I guess a part of me wanted to keep my father's memory alive by following in his footsteps." He pauses and then adds, "But all she ever saw was that I'd be following him to a premature death."
He sighs and rubs at his eyes.
"Are you sure you want to do this today?" Sydney asks.
He bobs his head. "This is never going to get any easier, Sydney."
They sit in silence until Anne returns and hands Sydney her cup of tea.
"Thank you," Sydney replies, as she takes the cup from her.
Anne returns to her seat and smiles at them. Her sunny disposition seems to have returned. "So, Michael, what brings you and Sydney here? You don't usually drop by unannounced."
Vaughn swallows hard and forces himself to meet his mother's eyes. "Actually, Mom, I have something I need to tell you and I thought it was best to do it in person."
Anne's eyes cloud with worry and she places her cup of tea on the table in front of her. "What is it?"
Vaughn hesitates for a moment, before clearing his throat and then going on. "Mom, you know how when Dad was killed the C.I.A said they didn't know who the killer was."
Anne's jaw tightens. "Yes, I remember."
Vaughn averts his gaze. He takes to studying the rug, but continues. "Well, they now who the killer is now. It turns out they have for some time, but never told us for reasons that still aren't entirely clear to me."
"Who is it?" Anne asks in a voice that is purposely void of emotion.
Vaughn reluctantly meets her gaze. Sydney looks at him, wondering what must be going through his mind right now.
"Dad was killed by a Russian operative named Irina Derevko, who was pretending to work for the U.S. government. For years, it was believed that she had died. But we've recently discovered that she is alive."
Anne takes a deep breath. "For some reason, I've always believed your father's killer was dead. I took comfort in that fact." She pauses and then adds, "Have you found her yet?"
"No, actually, we are still looking for her."
"Well, I know you'll do everything in your power to make sure she is found."
Vaughn nods and then begins slowly, his voice lower. "Mom, there's something else." Anne looks at him with curiosity and he goes on, "The woman married a C.I.A agent in order to get information for the people she worked for. Her American alias was Laura Bristow."
Anne's eyes widen, flashing with confusion. She turns to Sydney, who forces herself to meet her gaze. "Bristow? Is she any relation to you?"
Sydney opens her mouth to reply, but Vaughn beats her to it. "Mom, Sydney is a double agent. She works for the C.I.A and she is helping us destroy one of our enemies. I am her handler."
He stops abruptly and his mother eyes him. "Well, that is very interesting, Michael, but my question remains unanswered."
Vaughn breathes in deeply before speaking. "Sydney is Laura Bristow's daughter."
Anne's eyes grow as big as saucers and a million emotions flicker across them.
She looks at Sydney and says coldly, "Your mother killed my husband."
Sydney nods, her eyes focused on Anne's, "Yes."
Anne briefly closes her eyes and rubs at the bridge of her nose. "And my son is your handler. You work closely together."
"Yes."
"Is that not a conflict of interest?"
Vaughn answers, "We were unaware of the connection when I was assigned. It is a conflict of interest, but we do our best to deal with it."
Anne offers him a bitter look. "Oh, you deal with it. Her mother killed your father, Michael. How can you overlook that?"
"I don't overlook it, Mom, I just don't focus on it. My job is to handle Sydney's missions and do my best to ensure that she returns safely from each one."
The moment the words leave his mouth, he regrets them. His mother's jaw stiffens and her eyes narrow. All Sydney can do is sit there and hope her wish to become invisible is granted.
"You protect her. You make sure that the daughter of the woman who killed your father is safe. Your father never returned from a mission, Michael, and her mother was responsible for that. If only he'd had someone looking after him the way you look after her."
Vaughn sighs and rubs tiredly at his eyes. He then looks back up at his mother. "I know this is a lot to take in, Mom, but Sydney is nothing like her mother. She is an excellent agent, who is fiercely devoted to this country. If you had any idea what she's done to protect it, you'd be thanking her right now."
Anne turns her attention to Sydney. Her face has softens, but her voice still has an edge to it. "Do you have any idea the kind of pain your mother caused my family?"
Sydney swallows around the lump in her throat. "I can't even begin to imagine the pain she caused you and your family. If I could change any of it, I would. I just want you to know that the mother I knew, the mother I loved, was nothing like the woman who killed your husband. I could never love a woman like that. Turns out, the mother I loved never existed."
Anne's eyes now shine with compassion...compassion for a woman who has also experienced her share of heartache.
"It seems your mother caused you a great deal of pain, too."
"Yes, and I'm afraid that it is not over. We are going to find her, Anne. I promise you that. But one of the reasons we came here to tell you all of this is that we have no idea what kind of plans she has. She is very unpredictable and we wanted to warn you that things could get dangerous...Not for you, but for-..."
"My son," she finishes in a soft voice, as she glances at Vaughn. He averts his gaze.
"Yes," Sydney replies. "You had a right to know and we wanted you to be prepared for whatever lies ahead."
Anne nods. "Thank you. I imagine it took much convincing for your supervisor to consent to someone outside the organization being made privy to this. I thank you for that." She pauses and then adds, "But I'm not sure there is any way to prepare for the possibility that your son may be in serious danger. It's not something you're ever prepared for. When I married William, he was already in the C.I.A. I knew he had a dangerous job and I knew that one day he might not come back to me. Yet when that day came, I wasn't ready for it. It hit me like a ton of bricks...I'm not sure I ever fully recovered."
Sydney watches as Anne's eyes grow glassy and she swallows hard. She then clears her throat and looks at her son. "If you don't mind, I'd like to speak with you alone."
Sydney immediately stands up. "I'll go wait in the car."
Anne shakes her head. "Don't be silly. You stay here and finish your tea. We'll go in the study to talk."
Sydney slowly sits down and watches as they exit the room. Vaughn follows his mother into the study and closes the door behind them.
The room was his father's office. He'd decorated it in L.A. Kings' souvenirs. Jerseys, pennants and signed pictures line the wood paneled walls. It hasn't changed at all in twenty years.
Vaughn takes a seat on the leather couch, the sole extravagant item in an otherwise simple home. He waits for his mother to join him, but, instead, she walks around the perimeter of the room, viewing the memorabilia.
She speaks to him, but her voice has a faraway quality to it. "He loved the Kings. And he wanted you to love the Kings the moment you were born. I remember he found this little Kings' newborn outfit for you. He bought seven, so that you could wear one everyday of the week and not have to worry about running out. Of course, you were a baby and you outgrew them in no time at all. But that didn't stop him. He just went back to the store and bought seven more of the next size up. Every time you outgrew it, he'd do the same thing."
Vaughn smiles at the tidbit, one he'd never heard before. She turns around and walks over to where he sits, taking a seat diagonally across from him.
She simply studies him for a moment before speaking. "You remind me so much of him. When you smile, I can see him...When you laugh. You have the same laugh. And your hands," she says softly, as she covers his with hers. "You have the same strong hands." She pauses and then goes on, "But you most remind me of him in the man you've become. You are brave and caring and compassionate...and deeply devoted to your country. He would have been so proud of you, Michael."
Anne stops to wipe a way a tear on her cheek and then smiles sadly at him. "I guess that's why it's so hard not having you around here much anymore. When I saw you everyday, it was like being with a piece of your father. It was like a part of him still existed. Whenever I missed him so much I couldn't stand it, I could just look at you and see him. Now, I look at pictures, put an old shirt of his on, but it's not the same."
Vaughn squeezes his mother's hands and leans closer to her. "I know you miss him, Mom. I miss him, too. And I wish I could be here more often, but I have a responsibility to-..."
"Her," she finishes for him.
His eyes widen and he shakes his head. "To the organization, to my country."
Anne smiles slightly. "You've had those responsibilities for quite some time, Michael. But in the last year I've noticed that those visits and calls have become more infrequent, so I have to wonder what changed."
He lowers his eyes, "It's true that Sydney's case has taken up more of my time. She's extremely important to us."
"Yes, I can see that," Anne replies pointedly. She pauses before continuing, "Michael, look at me."
Vaughn raises his eyes to meet his mother's. "I can tell there's more to your relationship with her."
"Mom, we have a professional relationship. I serve as her confidante when necessary, but that is as far as it extends."
Anne smiles slightly. "Michael, I may not be a C.I.A agent, trained to notice subtleties, but you don't need to be one to see that there is something more between you two." She takes a deep breath and then adds softly, "I saw the way you looked at her. I've seen that look before. It's the same way your father used to look at me."
Vaughn simply bends his head, knowing there is no point in disagreeing with her.
She goes on, "But, honey, you have to know that a relationship with her would be complicated to say the least. You are her superior of sorts and the fact that her mother killed your father is something that cannot be overlooked."
Vaughn raises his head and looks at her, "Mom, I don't need you to give me a list of reasons why a relationship with Sydney would be difficult. I've heard them all before; I've gone over them in my head a million times."
"Then you realize there can be no future with-..."
"I love her, Mom," he says, cutting her off. He then lowers his head and repeats quietly, "I love her."
Anne simply stares at her son, empathy playing across her features. She moves from her spot and takes a seat next to him. Then she places her arm around his shoulders and whispers, "I know, honey. I could tell."
They sit there in silence for what seems like hours, before he breaks it. "I never meant for it to happen. I didn't want to love her, I tried not to love her...It just happened. She's amazing, Mom, she really is. I know you'd like her if you got to know her. She's so strong and brave and kind and intelligent...And beautiful." His voice grows softer as he goes on, "But I can't have her, not now at least. I've accepted that, but there are days when I look at her...and I can feel myself losing control."
Anne nods, "I know it's hard, Michael, but you can't give into this...Not until it's safe."
He sighs, "Every time I say good-bye to her and send her on another dangerous mission, I know that I might not see her again." He looks over at his mother as he goes on, "I think now I understand a little bit of what you went through every time Dad left."
"It's hard. I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but it doesn't."
Vaughn swallows hard, "I might never get my chance with her and, if I do, the complications we're going to have to deal with because of who her mother is...You're right, I just don't know if there's a future."
Anne shakes her head sharply. "No, I was wrong. If you love this woman, really love this woman, then you'll find a way to make it work. You'll find a way to get past everything and concentrate on what is most important. I'm not going to say it'll be easy...It's marriage, it's never easy, but you'll make it work if you want to badly enough." She pauses and looks over at a picture of her husband that sits on a side table. "When you find that person, that special person, you can't ever let her go, Michael. If you do, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."
Vaughn smiles and turns to envelope his mother in a hug.
"Thanks, Mom," he whispers.
She pulls back and nods, "Anytime."
They then exit the study and head back to the living room. They find Sydney sitting on the couch, leafing through an old family photo album. She looks up when she sees them and blushes slightly.
She addresses Anne, "I hope you don't mind, I saw this on the table and-..."
Anne smiles warmly at her. "I don't mind at all."
Anne and Vaughn sit down on either side of her. Sydney smiles and points at a picture of a naked little boy running around outside. She turns to Vaughn, "That wouldn't be you by any chance, would it?"
Vaughn grins, his complexion taking on a slightly red hue. "That would be me."
"You were quite uninhibited as a child, I see."
Anne nods, "Oh, yes, he ran around naked until he was three or four. Every time I put clothes on him, he'd tear them off in seconds."
"Thanks, Mom," Vaughn says in a tone edged with embarrassment.
Sydney turns the page to a picture with Anne standing next to William and a four-year-old Vaughn sitting atop his shoulders. All three are waving Kings' pennants, smiles upon their faces.
Sydney pales. It's the first time she's ever seen Vaughn with his father and the reality of why he's no longer there really hits her. It suddenly feels more real to her than ever...What they lost, what her mother destroyed, seems to be summed up in that picture.
Vaughn and Anne look at her, noticing her expression.
Anne runs her hand across the picture and smiles, "It's okay, Sydney. I've missed him everyday for the last twenty years, but I know how lucky I was to have had all of those years with him. Some people never find that special person; I did and I treasure every moment we spent together." She pauses and glances at her son before going on, "And the one thing I learned from our time together is that when you find that person, never let them go...Not even in death."
Sydney looks at Vaughn out of the corner of her eye and, in that moment, makes a vow to someday be with him...no matter what it takes.
Anne reaches behind Sydney and pats her son's shoulder. She then winks at him and mouths, "Everything's going to be all right."
He simply smiles and nods.
For the first time in a long time, he actually believes that.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * THE END* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought. ~Steph
Author: Steph (ILUVNYYANK@aol.com)
Category: Drama/Romance overtones
Pairing: Sydney/Vaughn
Spoilers: "The Confession", "Q & A", "Snowman".
Rating: PG
Archive: Sure, just let me know where.
Disclaimer: Alias and its characters do not belong to me. I do this out of a love for the show and no infringement is intended.
Summary: Sydney and Vaughn visit his mother to tell her about Laura's involvement in his father's death.
Note: This story takes place sometime after "The Confession" and sometime before "Almost Thirty Years". Hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you thought! :) ~Steph
* * * In His Father's Image: Part 1/1 * * *
They leave their homes ten minutes apart and he arrives eight minutes before her. He pulls into the driveway and waits for her car to do the same. He smiles when he sees her car appear in his rearview mirror. She parks next to him and they both exit their cars at the same time.
She smiles nervously at him. "Hi."
"Hi," he replies. He pauses, noting her anxious expression. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
She shrugs. "Are you sure you want me to do this? This is only going to make it harder for her, Vaughn."
He shakes his head. "I think she needs to hear this from both of us."
She nods, but her expression does not change.
Vaughn heads towards the door, Sydney beside him. He takes a deep breath before ringing the bell. Within seconds, the door swings open, revealing a woman in her late fifties.
Sydney studies her, noting how she resembles her son. She has soft gray hair, which is cut just below her ears and styled to one side. Her skin is tan and shows faint signs of wrinkles. She has a slight build, weighs no more than a hundred pounds and stands no taller than 5'4". Her smile is easy and disarming, like her son's. And the piercing green eyes that stare back at Sydney are more than a little familiar.
"Michael!" she nearly screams when she lays eyes on him and quickly throws her arms around his body.
Vaughn wraps his arms around his mother and holds her tight. Sydney moves a few paces back, suddenly feeling like an intruder.
Before long, they separate and his mother wags a scolding finger at him. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I would have prepared your favorite meal!"
He smiles and shakes his head. "I wanted to surprise you, Mom. And I didn't want you to go to any trouble."
His mother suddenly notices Sydney's presence and turns to her. "Oh, I am so sorry. I didn't even notice you there."
Sydney offers her what she hopes to be an easy smile, void of the discomfort she feels. Vaughn opens his mouth to introduce Sydney, but his mother cuts him off.
"You must be Michael's new girlfriend." She eyes Vaughn before going on with mock terseness, "Not that I would know if my son had a new girlfriend. He tends to be very secretive about his relationships. It seemed by the time I'd found out about that Alice girl, they'd broken up."
Vaughn shakes his head and offers her a sheepish grin. "Mom, you know that's not true. And, actually, Sydney's not my-..."
She offers Sydney her hand, cutting her son off again. "I'm Michael's mother, Anne. I can only hope that you're not engaged or married already."
"Mom," Vaughn groans and rolls his eyes like an embarrassed teenager.
Sydney smiles at Anne. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Vaughn. I'm Sydney Bristow." She pauses and then adds hesitantly. "A friend and coworker of your sons."
Her eyes widen. "Oh, I apologize for my assumption then. Nice to meet you, Sydney. Please, call me Anne." She pauses, studying Sydney for a moment before turning her attention back to her son. "And why is it that you haven't snatched this one up by now, Michael? I swear, I'll be eighty before I have any grandchildren."
Sydney hides her smile and Vaughn tries desperately not to blush. Sydney and Anne wait for his response and when none follows, Anne speaks. "Well, come on in, you two."
She moves aside and allows them entrance. Sydney surveys the simple ranch-style house. It is very neat and decorated with only the bare essentials. The walls are a plain white and every visible room has a variation of a beige-colored rug. The traditional furniture of the living room is made of oak and the couches are covered in a muted yellow fabric.
Anne leads them into the living room and turns to Sydney. "Make yourself comfortable. Would you like something to drink?"
Sydney offers her a polite smile and shake of her head, "No, thank you."
Sydney and Vaughn take a seat on the couch and Anne sits in a chair across from them.
Anne shakes her head at her son. "Really, Michael, I think it's been five or six months since I've seen you last."
Vaughn sighs, "We had dinner less than a month ago, Mom."
Anne's tone is playful, but she seems to mean what she says. "Well, it feels like forever since I've seen you. And you hardly ever call."
"Mom, we've been over and over this. You know my job doesn't leave much time for a personal life."
Anne's face suddenly hardens and she lowers her eyes. She presses her hands over her khakis, trying to work out an invisible wrinkle.
Her voice softens. "Yes, I know all about your job."
Vaughn shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Anyone paying attention would see that his job is a touchy subject between them.
Anne swallows hard and looks up at Sydney. "I don't know if you have any children, Ms. Bristow."
"Please, call me Sydney."
"I don't know if you have any children, Sydney, but one of the hardest things a parent ever has to do is learn how to let go. You raise your children, they spend years depending on you, you worry about them, you see them everyday...They're your whole world. And then, one day, they pack up their things and you only see them on holidays and an occasional weekend. You may get a phone call every once in a while. They start to have their own lives, separate from you, and you're left to wander around an empty house." She pauses and then adds, "It's just not natural. A mother shouldn't be expected to go from seeing her child everyday to once in a blue moon."
Sydney can only stare at Anne, realizing that a woman who feels all alone in this world is staring back. Vaughn simply looks out the window to his left.
Anne abruptly stands up and offers Sydney a weak smile. "I think I could use a cup of tea. Are you sure I can't interest you in anything?"
Sydney smiles. "Actually, tea sounds great. Thank you."
Anne nods and exits the room.
Sydney and Vaughn sit in silence for a moment, before he breaks it. His eyes never meet hers. "She hates my job. She begged me not to join the C.I.A. My mother has always been afraid that I would suffer the same fate as my father."
He finally turns to her. "After he died, I was everything to her. And one of the hardest things I've ever had to do is walk out that door and head off to college. She was all alone after and it killed me to know that. When I told her I wanted to join the C.I.A., she became consumed with the fear that I too would die and then she'd really be all alone."
"It must have been very difficult for her. And it must have been very difficult for you to go against her wishes."
He nods. "I love my mother and the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her, but I had to do it. I knew this is what I was meant to do. I guess a part of me wanted to keep my father's memory alive by following in his footsteps." He pauses and then adds, "But all she ever saw was that I'd be following him to a premature death."
He sighs and rubs at his eyes.
"Are you sure you want to do this today?" Sydney asks.
He bobs his head. "This is never going to get any easier, Sydney."
They sit in silence until Anne returns and hands Sydney her cup of tea.
"Thank you," Sydney replies, as she takes the cup from her.
Anne returns to her seat and smiles at them. Her sunny disposition seems to have returned. "So, Michael, what brings you and Sydney here? You don't usually drop by unannounced."
Vaughn swallows hard and forces himself to meet his mother's eyes. "Actually, Mom, I have something I need to tell you and I thought it was best to do it in person."
Anne's eyes cloud with worry and she places her cup of tea on the table in front of her. "What is it?"
Vaughn hesitates for a moment, before clearing his throat and then going on. "Mom, you know how when Dad was killed the C.I.A said they didn't know who the killer was."
Anne's jaw tightens. "Yes, I remember."
Vaughn averts his gaze. He takes to studying the rug, but continues. "Well, they now who the killer is now. It turns out they have for some time, but never told us for reasons that still aren't entirely clear to me."
"Who is it?" Anne asks in a voice that is purposely void of emotion.
Vaughn reluctantly meets her gaze. Sydney looks at him, wondering what must be going through his mind right now.
"Dad was killed by a Russian operative named Irina Derevko, who was pretending to work for the U.S. government. For years, it was believed that she had died. But we've recently discovered that she is alive."
Anne takes a deep breath. "For some reason, I've always believed your father's killer was dead. I took comfort in that fact." She pauses and then adds, "Have you found her yet?"
"No, actually, we are still looking for her."
"Well, I know you'll do everything in your power to make sure she is found."
Vaughn nods and then begins slowly, his voice lower. "Mom, there's something else." Anne looks at him with curiosity and he goes on, "The woman married a C.I.A agent in order to get information for the people she worked for. Her American alias was Laura Bristow."
Anne's eyes widen, flashing with confusion. She turns to Sydney, who forces herself to meet her gaze. "Bristow? Is she any relation to you?"
Sydney opens her mouth to reply, but Vaughn beats her to it. "Mom, Sydney is a double agent. She works for the C.I.A and she is helping us destroy one of our enemies. I am her handler."
He stops abruptly and his mother eyes him. "Well, that is very interesting, Michael, but my question remains unanswered."
Vaughn breathes in deeply before speaking. "Sydney is Laura Bristow's daughter."
Anne's eyes grow as big as saucers and a million emotions flicker across them.
She looks at Sydney and says coldly, "Your mother killed my husband."
Sydney nods, her eyes focused on Anne's, "Yes."
Anne briefly closes her eyes and rubs at the bridge of her nose. "And my son is your handler. You work closely together."
"Yes."
"Is that not a conflict of interest?"
Vaughn answers, "We were unaware of the connection when I was assigned. It is a conflict of interest, but we do our best to deal with it."
Anne offers him a bitter look. "Oh, you deal with it. Her mother killed your father, Michael. How can you overlook that?"
"I don't overlook it, Mom, I just don't focus on it. My job is to handle Sydney's missions and do my best to ensure that she returns safely from each one."
The moment the words leave his mouth, he regrets them. His mother's jaw stiffens and her eyes narrow. All Sydney can do is sit there and hope her wish to become invisible is granted.
"You protect her. You make sure that the daughter of the woman who killed your father is safe. Your father never returned from a mission, Michael, and her mother was responsible for that. If only he'd had someone looking after him the way you look after her."
Vaughn sighs and rubs tiredly at his eyes. He then looks back up at his mother. "I know this is a lot to take in, Mom, but Sydney is nothing like her mother. She is an excellent agent, who is fiercely devoted to this country. If you had any idea what she's done to protect it, you'd be thanking her right now."
Anne turns her attention to Sydney. Her face has softens, but her voice still has an edge to it. "Do you have any idea the kind of pain your mother caused my family?"
Sydney swallows around the lump in her throat. "I can't even begin to imagine the pain she caused you and your family. If I could change any of it, I would. I just want you to know that the mother I knew, the mother I loved, was nothing like the woman who killed your husband. I could never love a woman like that. Turns out, the mother I loved never existed."
Anne's eyes now shine with compassion...compassion for a woman who has also experienced her share of heartache.
"It seems your mother caused you a great deal of pain, too."
"Yes, and I'm afraid that it is not over. We are going to find her, Anne. I promise you that. But one of the reasons we came here to tell you all of this is that we have no idea what kind of plans she has. She is very unpredictable and we wanted to warn you that things could get dangerous...Not for you, but for-..."
"My son," she finishes in a soft voice, as she glances at Vaughn. He averts his gaze.
"Yes," Sydney replies. "You had a right to know and we wanted you to be prepared for whatever lies ahead."
Anne nods. "Thank you. I imagine it took much convincing for your supervisor to consent to someone outside the organization being made privy to this. I thank you for that." She pauses and then adds, "But I'm not sure there is any way to prepare for the possibility that your son may be in serious danger. It's not something you're ever prepared for. When I married William, he was already in the C.I.A. I knew he had a dangerous job and I knew that one day he might not come back to me. Yet when that day came, I wasn't ready for it. It hit me like a ton of bricks...I'm not sure I ever fully recovered."
Sydney watches as Anne's eyes grow glassy and she swallows hard. She then clears her throat and looks at her son. "If you don't mind, I'd like to speak with you alone."
Sydney immediately stands up. "I'll go wait in the car."
Anne shakes her head. "Don't be silly. You stay here and finish your tea. We'll go in the study to talk."
Sydney slowly sits down and watches as they exit the room. Vaughn follows his mother into the study and closes the door behind them.
The room was his father's office. He'd decorated it in L.A. Kings' souvenirs. Jerseys, pennants and signed pictures line the wood paneled walls. It hasn't changed at all in twenty years.
Vaughn takes a seat on the leather couch, the sole extravagant item in an otherwise simple home. He waits for his mother to join him, but, instead, she walks around the perimeter of the room, viewing the memorabilia.
She speaks to him, but her voice has a faraway quality to it. "He loved the Kings. And he wanted you to love the Kings the moment you were born. I remember he found this little Kings' newborn outfit for you. He bought seven, so that you could wear one everyday of the week and not have to worry about running out. Of course, you were a baby and you outgrew them in no time at all. But that didn't stop him. He just went back to the store and bought seven more of the next size up. Every time you outgrew it, he'd do the same thing."
Vaughn smiles at the tidbit, one he'd never heard before. She turns around and walks over to where he sits, taking a seat diagonally across from him.
She simply studies him for a moment before speaking. "You remind me so much of him. When you smile, I can see him...When you laugh. You have the same laugh. And your hands," she says softly, as she covers his with hers. "You have the same strong hands." She pauses and then goes on, "But you most remind me of him in the man you've become. You are brave and caring and compassionate...and deeply devoted to your country. He would have been so proud of you, Michael."
Anne stops to wipe a way a tear on her cheek and then smiles sadly at him. "I guess that's why it's so hard not having you around here much anymore. When I saw you everyday, it was like being with a piece of your father. It was like a part of him still existed. Whenever I missed him so much I couldn't stand it, I could just look at you and see him. Now, I look at pictures, put an old shirt of his on, but it's not the same."
Vaughn squeezes his mother's hands and leans closer to her. "I know you miss him, Mom. I miss him, too. And I wish I could be here more often, but I have a responsibility to-..."
"Her," she finishes for him.
His eyes widen and he shakes his head. "To the organization, to my country."
Anne smiles slightly. "You've had those responsibilities for quite some time, Michael. But in the last year I've noticed that those visits and calls have become more infrequent, so I have to wonder what changed."
He lowers his eyes, "It's true that Sydney's case has taken up more of my time. She's extremely important to us."
"Yes, I can see that," Anne replies pointedly. She pauses before continuing, "Michael, look at me."
Vaughn raises his eyes to meet his mother's. "I can tell there's more to your relationship with her."
"Mom, we have a professional relationship. I serve as her confidante when necessary, but that is as far as it extends."
Anne smiles slightly. "Michael, I may not be a C.I.A agent, trained to notice subtleties, but you don't need to be one to see that there is something more between you two." She takes a deep breath and then adds softly, "I saw the way you looked at her. I've seen that look before. It's the same way your father used to look at me."
Vaughn simply bends his head, knowing there is no point in disagreeing with her.
She goes on, "But, honey, you have to know that a relationship with her would be complicated to say the least. You are her superior of sorts and the fact that her mother killed your father is something that cannot be overlooked."
Vaughn raises his head and looks at her, "Mom, I don't need you to give me a list of reasons why a relationship with Sydney would be difficult. I've heard them all before; I've gone over them in my head a million times."
"Then you realize there can be no future with-..."
"I love her, Mom," he says, cutting her off. He then lowers his head and repeats quietly, "I love her."
Anne simply stares at her son, empathy playing across her features. She moves from her spot and takes a seat next to him. Then she places her arm around his shoulders and whispers, "I know, honey. I could tell."
They sit there in silence for what seems like hours, before he breaks it. "I never meant for it to happen. I didn't want to love her, I tried not to love her...It just happened. She's amazing, Mom, she really is. I know you'd like her if you got to know her. She's so strong and brave and kind and intelligent...And beautiful." His voice grows softer as he goes on, "But I can't have her, not now at least. I've accepted that, but there are days when I look at her...and I can feel myself losing control."
Anne nods, "I know it's hard, Michael, but you can't give into this...Not until it's safe."
He sighs, "Every time I say good-bye to her and send her on another dangerous mission, I know that I might not see her again." He looks over at his mother as he goes on, "I think now I understand a little bit of what you went through every time Dad left."
"It's hard. I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but it doesn't."
Vaughn swallows hard, "I might never get my chance with her and, if I do, the complications we're going to have to deal with because of who her mother is...You're right, I just don't know if there's a future."
Anne shakes her head sharply. "No, I was wrong. If you love this woman, really love this woman, then you'll find a way to make it work. You'll find a way to get past everything and concentrate on what is most important. I'm not going to say it'll be easy...It's marriage, it's never easy, but you'll make it work if you want to badly enough." She pauses and looks over at a picture of her husband that sits on a side table. "When you find that person, that special person, you can't ever let her go, Michael. If you do, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."
Vaughn smiles and turns to envelope his mother in a hug.
"Thanks, Mom," he whispers.
She pulls back and nods, "Anytime."
They then exit the study and head back to the living room. They find Sydney sitting on the couch, leafing through an old family photo album. She looks up when she sees them and blushes slightly.
She addresses Anne, "I hope you don't mind, I saw this on the table and-..."
Anne smiles warmly at her. "I don't mind at all."
Anne and Vaughn sit down on either side of her. Sydney smiles and points at a picture of a naked little boy running around outside. She turns to Vaughn, "That wouldn't be you by any chance, would it?"
Vaughn grins, his complexion taking on a slightly red hue. "That would be me."
"You were quite uninhibited as a child, I see."
Anne nods, "Oh, yes, he ran around naked until he was three or four. Every time I put clothes on him, he'd tear them off in seconds."
"Thanks, Mom," Vaughn says in a tone edged with embarrassment.
Sydney turns the page to a picture with Anne standing next to William and a four-year-old Vaughn sitting atop his shoulders. All three are waving Kings' pennants, smiles upon their faces.
Sydney pales. It's the first time she's ever seen Vaughn with his father and the reality of why he's no longer there really hits her. It suddenly feels more real to her than ever...What they lost, what her mother destroyed, seems to be summed up in that picture.
Vaughn and Anne look at her, noticing her expression.
Anne runs her hand across the picture and smiles, "It's okay, Sydney. I've missed him everyday for the last twenty years, but I know how lucky I was to have had all of those years with him. Some people never find that special person; I did and I treasure every moment we spent together." She pauses and glances at her son before going on, "And the one thing I learned from our time together is that when you find that person, never let them go...Not even in death."
Sydney looks at Vaughn out of the corner of her eye and, in that moment, makes a vow to someday be with him...no matter what it takes.
Anne reaches behind Sydney and pats her son's shoulder. She then winks at him and mouths, "Everything's going to be all right."
He simply smiles and nods.
For the first time in a long time, he actually believes that.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * THE END* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought. ~Steph