He sat in his dressing room, staring at the photos his photographer just sent him. Why were there so many changes? He pulled at the collar of his shirt, looking to see every mole he had. They aren't bad are they? He asked himself. They made my face look different… Am I looking bigger again?
Logan closed the laptop when he heard Kendall walk into his dressing room.
"Hey, man," the blonde said cheerfully, seemingly without a care in the world. Logan force his lips to tug into a small smile, but he knew it wouldn't suffice for his best friend.
"Loges… You okay?" There was worry in his voice, but Logan didn't want the blonde to burden himself with these problems.
"Yeah, just, uh… There was a mean tweet about me not dancing well, or something, but I'm alright. Don't you worry." Kendall sighed sadly, walking over to his best friend and pulled him into a warm embrace.
"Logie, you're a great dancer, you just do what you want. That's fine, I mean, it works, right? That's all that matters. Don't let that stuff get you down. Now come one, we have to do that pool scene!" Kendall excitedly hopped up and took Logan with him.
Pool scene… Shirt comes off… What will everyone think?
Logan suddenly became nervous, sweaty, anxious, everything he hated being… Everything he hated Kendall seeing him as. Logan stopped in his tracks, halting Kendall's body as well.
"What's wrong? You still upset over the whole 'bad dancer' thing?" Kendall had worry in his eyes, and Logan didn't like that. He liked it when those green eyes shone with the brightness of his dazzling smile.
"Y-yeah, I'm good, just not feeling too great. I think It's what I had for lunch…" Logan easily lied to the blonde, something he hated doing, but it was necessary to keep the boy from worrying about him.
"Okay," Kendall said softly, "Well, maybe some fun by the 'pool' will make you feel better!" Logan grimaced slightly, not wanting to feel the stares on his stomach or neck or face or anything. He didn't want any of it. He just wanted…
"Loges.." Kendall spoke, trying to gain Logan's attention.
"Look, Kendall, I'm just going to see if Scott can take me out of this scene okay?"
"But… It's the pool scene, and in the script we push the other guys in, and it was supposed to be so fun, and.." The look on his face was a mix between sadness and disappointment, and Logan would rather feel a million stares on him than keep that look on his favorite face.
"You're right, I'm just being silly. Let's go." Logan nodded his head, trying to sound as happy as he could, and by that new smile on Kendall's dimpled face, he knew the stares would be worth it.
Worth that smile.
Logan hesitantly walked to wardrobe with Kendall to grab whatever pair of swim trunks they picked for them and change. He slipped the swim shorts over his boxers, then he instantly grabbed a t-shirt to throw it over his top half, wanting desperately to keep it on.
"Logie, I know we're on Nickelodeon, but being shirtless is okay," he heard Kendall say.
God, every time he says Logie…
"I know," he started, trying to think of an excuse, but was soon cut off by the shout of their names to come on set.
"Come on!" Kendall tugged on Logan's hand, grasping it in his own and squeezing it tightly. These were the moments that Logan could swear his heart stops beating. Kendall holding his hand, brushing hair out of his face when it's not gelled up, rubbing his back and shoulders. Those moments meant everything to Logan, but once his shirt came off and Kendall saw this… Those moments would end. He can't believe those times haven't ended already just from his face that the photographer edited so harshly.
"Okay you're on in two," a voice reminded him, pulling him out of his thoughts. He nodded in the general direction of the voice, preparing himself.
He slowly looked around, seeing all the cast and crew members of the show, wondering what they'll be thinking. Hands slowly drifting toward the hem, he hesitantly raised the fabric that acted as a shield. He clenched the shirt tightly in his hand, shutting his eyes quickly as he dropped the shirt on a surrounding chair.
"Thirty seconds," he heard.
Thirty seconds. Thirty second until they film me for all of America to see and wonder why I don't look like those pictures. The thought went around and around Logan's mind until he walked toward Kendall for his scene to start.
He felt eyes on him, and though a part of him knew there were only on him because he's starring in the scene, but the self conscious inner being is telling him it's because of the way he looks or doesn't look.
Logan did the scene, he didn't freeze or forget his lines like he thought he'd do. He did fine, except for the shirtless part.
Kendall walked his way, with an open arm, ready to place it around Logan's shoulder. The brunet instantly moved out of grasp as he scurried to find his shirt.
Kendall's eyebrows came together at this action. Logan's never dissed him like that.
Logan hated not feeling that arm around him, but he didn't want Kendall to reallysee him. But, before he could quickly tug his shirt on, someone grabbed it from him. He turned and gave the blonde an angry look.
"Kendall, give it back!" He shouted angrily.
"No! Tell me what really happened! Why you so upset about not having your shirt? Why did you not want my arm around you? Why didn't you want to do the pool scene? Tell me now, Logan!" Kendall shouted back, angry but mostly concerned for the brunet.
"Kendall it.. It doesn't matter, I just want the shirt! Please!" Logan was begging now, wanting to cover up desperately. His hopes of doing so diminished as Kendall threw the fabric in the water.
"What the hell, Kendall?!"
"What the hell, me? No, what the hell, you?! What is going on? Tell me!" Kendall moved closer, putting his hands on Logan's shoulders, but the brunet instantly backed away.
"That!" Kendall shouted, "That right there!" Then the blonde slumped, thinking he knew. "You… Are you uncomfortable with me holding your hand and wrapping my arm around you? I… Can stop, I mean-"
"No!" Logan cut him off. "No, I… Love the hand holding and the arms around me.." He said shyly.
"Then tell me, please, Logan. Please." Logan's resolve disappeared as his shoulders fell and he pulled out his phone.
He pulled up the email with the photo shoot pictures in it.
"They.. They made me look so different. In the face, and my arm freckles and moles… I just… It reminded me of all those things… About calling me… Bigger… I don't know."
"Oh, Logie," was all Logan heard before he was pulled toward a lounge chair to sitting position next to Kendall. The blonde wrapped his long arms around Logan, rubbing up and down the length of his back.
"Logie, you aren't fat or ugly or anything even close to those. You are beautiful in your own way, just like everyone else. These photos don't show your natural looks, and to me, they don't do you just. I mean, look at this one that has your freckles and moles and it's totally natural. Look how amazing you look. When they take them out, you don't like very you. Don't let people bring you down because they have their own definition of beauty and perfect. You're perfect and beautiful inside and out, especially to me, so don't worry about anything. And to be completely honest, you look great without a shirt on." Kendall smiled, nudging him softly.
Logan felt tears trickle down his cheeks at the long, sweet, amazing speech Kendall gave him. Kendall reached over to softly wipe the tears away with his thumb.
"You're perfect, okay?" Kendall leaned his forehead against Logan's, looking into the brown eyes that were growing more life in them.
"No, you're perfect, Kendall," he said softly, not able to stop himself as he leaned forward to press their lips together. Logan instantly tried to jump back when he realized what he did, but something was keeping him there, someone was keeping him there.
Kendall was holding Logan's face between his hands to keep their lips attached.
When it finally broke, they stared at each other, waiting for the other to speak.
"I've waited so long for you to do that," Kendall whispered.
"I never thought I was good enough," Logan whispered back.
"I've loved you for so long."
"I've loved you for a long time. I never thought I'd be enough."
"You'll always be enough, Logan, and you'll always be perfect to me. Always."
