Why the hell are you telling me this now?!
Farkle had been trying years to understand Riley matthews. It was a constant battle he had with himself daily trying to decide between what he was suppose to do as a friend, and what his emotions kept trying to get him to do. Farkle always thought science could explain everything, but when It came to Riley she always made him second guess. The biggest mystery he could never solve is why she always went after all the faces when he knew he could give her better.
Riley ran up to Farkle after school a huge smile on her face , and Farkle waited smiling back at her feeling that familiar longing feeling every time she got near. The battle inside his head speaking louder on one side each time she spoke to him.
"Farkle guess what?!" Riley beamed at him wiggling back , and forth.
The smile on her face made Farkle's heart race his full attention on her as Riley put her hand on his shoulder talking again before he could answer.
"I have a date tonight with Greg" Riley said happily as Farkle started to try to remember who Greg was. With a small twitch of his hand that Riley wouldn't notice Farkle remembered who was Greg was
"You mean the guy who ignores you half the time so he can fix his hair?" Farkle said while trying to hide how upset he was she was once again going off then another guy who wasn't worthy of her.
Riley Rolled her eyes as she let out a small laugh at Farkle "He does not ignore me for his hair Farkle" Riley knew Farkle was protective, and she actually thought it was sweet. "So another face?" Farkle snapped back, more harshly than intended.
Riley looked a little annoyed "Why do you dislike everyone I date?" Farkle kept thinking of a bunch of things to say, but all the words just kept bunching up in his head which frustrated him since he usually had no issues talking.
"It's because I care Riley" That was all Farkle got out as he shuffled in front of her putting his hands in his pocket tucking the upset away again.
Riley just sighed then her face softened not knowing what else to say about it not fully understanding why he was acting the way he was "Greg always calls me pretty, He loves the color purple, He says my laugh is cute, and He is a nice guy so don't worry so much."
Farkle just nodded the voice in his head screaming to speak up. Farkle did all those things for her too so why did she still always go with those guys. "Okay then have fun Riley" He said very flatly with little emotion.
The thing is Riley knew Farkle which meant she knew something was wrong with him "Are you okay farkle?" She was clearly concerned as she kept her eyes on him still confused on to why he was so tense.
Not wanting to have to stand there hearing about her date any longer farkle mustered up the best fake smile hoping it would be enough"Yes Riley. Now go have fun on your date. Call me when you get home so I know you're safe." The pain in his chest made him want to tell her not to go, but he wouldn't dare to that to her when she seemed so happy.
Still not fully convinced, but deciding to accept it she smiled back at him "You know I always do Farkle." With that she walked away leaving Farkle in the hallway by himself all the students long gone. He was thankful of that though as he went over to a set of lockers slowly sliding down them while putting his head against the locker. Riley was the one person who always seemed to make his emotions go heywire, and being a man of science that conufsed the hell out of him. How could one girl be the cause of so much emotional stress when he didn't even really use that kind of emotion on a normal basis. The quiet of the school was actually not helping him for once as all the memories of riley this past year replaying in his head. It drove him crazy that she just didn't see him even though he literally fit all the things she liked in guys. Except one thing apprently he didn't have a good enough face for her. It wasn't fair that she was the one thing he couldn't stop thinking about, but to her he was the one thing that was so easily dimissable without even getting one chance to show her how she truly deserved to be loved. With a huff of air he told himself to stop that he can control this. That Riley was just a girl, and his best friend who was able to do whatever she wanted. He would support her, and that was that so he decided to longer dwell. One quick stop at his house then he would head down to topanga's since he would rather be there for the distraction then alone in his house. At least he could act like he was working there instead of just waiting for Riley to text him.
(A few hours later at Topanga's)
Farkle was sitting at a table messing on his computer while his phone sat next to it face up turned up all the way so he wouldn't miss it. He figured he wouldn't hear from her for another half an hour, or so he was just attempting to work on a paper. Obviously it wasn't working that well, but It was better then letting his mind go on about something he had no control over. The door to Topanga's opened, but he paid no mind to it until Riley was standing next to him. His mouth went dry when he saw the little red dress she was wearing, and the way her hair was cascadind almost mystically down her front in soft waves. Then his eye's met her's, and his heart skipped a beat making him turn away quickly to pick up his phone while speaking. "Usually you just text after your date, and it's a little early is every thing okay?"
Almost like a strike of lightning Riley was in Farkle's lap, and he felt her arms go around his neck making him take in deep breathe. Reminding himself they were just friends he put on hand on her back starting to rub it in small circles, and he heard a small sigh before riley relaxed against his hand "It was awful Farkle." The sound in her voice made him want to make it all better. Which he never understood since the outcome was bound to happen, but when it came to Riley it didn't matter what he knew just that she felt better. "Why was it awful?"
He felt her head lay on his shoulder her breathe blowing on his neck making his skin tingle. Trying to think of anything else he laid his free hand on his the chair while waiting for her to speak. "We went to this restaurant, and he kept flirting with the waitress. Then he kept not even listening, because he was checking his phone. When it got to the end I have to pay since he apprently forgot his wallet. Luckily I had some on me, and lastly when he dropped me off he kept trying to kiss me. When I wouldn't do it he called me tease, so I walked here to be with you the only person I wanted to be with after a bad night besides Maya.I just never seem to get it right with any guy." In response to her words Farkle held her a little tighter as he turned his head so he could speak directly to her, and quietly in to her ear.
"It was just one bad night Riley, and it's his loss to miss out on someone as great as you. One day you are going to find the guy who loves you just as you are. Who will listen to every word you say, and when he's around you nothing will bemore important then you. That will not just see how beautiful you are on the outside, but they will also see how perfect you are on the inside. How lucky they are everyday to have their own personal sunshine who could brighten even the darkest day in their life. A guy who won't force himself on you, and will wait until you are ready. So don't let Greg get you down, because he's not important " He hated that he couldn't flat out tell Riley he was that guy, but he could tell her in way where she wouldn't give up. It didn't make sense to why he couldn't just tell her that, but he was also worried about losing her if he tried to push something more then she wanted. The fact that fear was stopping him really irriatated him since it was so irrational it was just Riley. She obviously cared about him in some deeper way If she chose to come to him.
He felt riley sit up as her eyes met his a gentle smile on her face. "You're so sweet Farkle, but Maybe I'm just not meant to find love. Since no guy is ever go to feel about me the way that you described. Thanks for trying to cheer me, but you are talking about a person who doesn't exsist for me." With a sudden rush Farkle felt like his heart might actually be breaking. He figured riley didn't feel the same, but he at least thought she noticed how special she was to him. This fire was building up inside of him of the feelings he had been holding back for so long so he knew he needed to get away. Gently he scooted riley off his lap then stood up while putting his stuff away keeping his mouth shut.
"Farkle?" He heard Riley speak up at him the questioning behind her voice, but he just kept gettng his stuff together. The familiar touch of riley's hand was on his "Farkle what's wrong?" Knowing if he spoke too much he wouldn't be able to stop he slipped his hand from unders Riley's . "I just have to go Riley." He hoped she would leave it that, but deep down in his genuis brain of his he knew she wouldn't.
Which he was right as Riley grabbed his hand again this time tugging it a bit making him swallow slightly as lifted his head meeting her eyes. Her big brown eye's pleading at him as he stood there frozen thinking of saying something feeling bad he wouldn't explain at least something to her until "How can you leave right now Farkle. I had a bad night, and I need you." He wasn't sure if it was how it was worded, or if he was just tired, but something went off in his head.
"You don't need me Riley. Trust me. You are strong, funny, and extremely smart. You don't need anyone to validate the things you already know about yourself that you choose to ignore. Now me on the other hand I need you. I always have from the first grade. You fill this part of me I didn't even know I had until that day I met you. Not that you have ever actually fully noticed that, and I love to be your shoulder to cry on. It's just I hate that you let this guys who are not even close to what you deserve hurt you continuisly. When I know you are smarter then that so to me it makes no logical sense that you keep falling for the same thing that has already caused you an issue." Finally taking a breathe he put his computer bag back on the table his heart pounding hard in his chest. Though the air had freed a little bit from him letting out some of his held back thoughts.
"Well guess what Farkle not every thing can be explained by logic! Just because you think Science can dictate your life. Doesn't mean I live my life that way! You can't control how you feel All the time." Farkle was surprised when Riley had raised her voice at him. He took a quick glance around the room taking note that the whole place was staring at them even Topanga who didn't move from behind the counter. The surprising thing for him though is he didn't even care as he challenged her back.
Stepping closer to her he ran a hand through his hair "Why is it when I talk you never hear the sweet things I say, but when one of those loser does the same thing you listen to them? You're right Riley I can't control my feelings All the time, and you know whose fault that is..." With his hand he motioned at her. "It's you! I have tried for years to contain my feelings for you. I even tried a few times to Stop feeling how I do about you, but It never works! You come in skipping with your cute giggle, all happy, and I'm back to step one everytime!"
"Oh well I am so sorry it's so hard to like me! That me being who I am bothers you so much! You aren't perfect either you know Farkle. It drives me crazy that after a bad night I have this urge to see you. When I should just be able to go home like a normal person, but NO my mind is like let's go see Farkle!" the feelng in Farkle's chest grew, and every time she said bad about herself it made him more angry. He also really wanted to kiss her for some reason, but he was ignoring that letting it fuel him. "It's never hard to like you! Honestly you are my favorite person which is why I am so tired of you letting yourself get hurt when.." He cut himself off knowing what he was about to say, and he still had enough control not to let that slip.
"Oh no Farkle...you don't get to hold back now! Please indulge me on whatever you think of me! Please tell me how stupid I am! So WHEN what?" He watched as she put her hands on her hip's. A slight foot tap while her eyes seemed a little darker, but something inside Farkle wouldn't just let him stop this time. "You really want to know what I think about you Riley?" Farkle took the last few steps to be only inches from her face the burning ache in his heart making rest of his control go out the window.