Flutters of Tears
AN: Don't know where this one came from. Let me know what y'all think, please. A lot of fluff, so be warned.
"James, please stop bothering me." Lily sniffled, on the verge of crying.
"Lily, I just want to help you," protested James.
"James, stop! Why can't you just leave me alone?" Lily hurriedly rose from her seat in the common room and bolted upstairs to her dormitory, although not before James could see the tears slipping down her cheeks.
He watched as she disappeared through the door, then buried his face in his hands.
"Evans turn you down again?" a cheerful, boyish voice asked, breaking his thoughts.
"I didn't ask her out this time. She seemed upset and I just wanted to try and help," James explained, still not lifting his head.
Remus joined the duo, with a solemn and heavy expression on his face.
"You weren't bothering Lily again, were you?" he asked.
"No!" James almost shouted. "I just wanted to help her. Is that so hard for everyone to believe?"
"I was just talking to Cassie about Lily," began Remus.
James's head jerked up to look at his friend.
"She told me that Lily's owl died this morning. It was sick or something."
James sat there, thinking. His creative mind was already forming a plan, a way to help Lily feel better.
"And Cassie told me that Lily's sister is getting married next weekend and she wasn't invited. James, what are you thinking?"
"Nothing, nothing yet."
Lily felt herself being gently shaken awake. It was her friend, Cassie.
"Come on, get dressed, someone's waiting for you downstairs."
Lily rolled back and buried herself in her blankets. "I don't want to," she mumbled into her pillow.
"Lily Potter, get your lazy bum out of bed now!" shouted Cassie.
The small redhead groaned loudly in protest and reluctantly got up. She was halfway to the bathroom before she realized what Cassie had called her. She turned around, grabbed a wayward pillow, and threw it at the girl. "Don't call me that!"
The room filled with sounds of laughter as Lily disappeared into the bathroom.
It was a Hogsmeade weekend, but that fact had slipped Lily's mind.
When she finally made her way downstairs, she found James waiting for her. She paused to take a moment to take in the sight of him. He was nervous, that she could tell. Or anyone, for that matter. Those gestures that had once seemed cocky, she now realized were just nervous habits. The way he ran his hand through his messy hair. The way he would adjust his glasses. Playing with a snitch was just a nervous habit, to keep his hands busy. He seemed especially nervous today. Yet also, somewhat excited.
"Morning, Lily," he greeted.
"Good morning, James." She came to stand right in front of him and without realizing what she was doing, she reached out to fix his hair. When she was finished, it looked much neater than before she had started. Lily was proud to have tamed the great James Potter's untamable hair.
She stepped back to survey her work, then blushed deeply as she realized what she had done. It was incredibly presumptuous of her to have just done that. Why hadn't he said anything?
James had just stood there, enjoying the feeling of her fingers running through his hair. When she had pulled away, he was quite disappointed.
As he became aware of her embarrassment, he smoothly moved through the moment.
"Thanks. Ready?" he asked.
"For what?"
"I have a surprise for you," he shyly told her.
Lily was shocked, what was she thinking? James Potter, shy?
"James," she warned. He knew she didn't like surprises, or at least ones that placed her in awkward situations.
"This is a good surprise, I promise. No pranks today, Marauder's Honor."
She smirked. "Now I'm especially worried."
"Lily…please…just go with me on this, just once," he pleaded.
"Okay. Surprise away," she gave in.
He grinned at her, a smile that made her heart melt for some odd reason. What was happening to her?
After following him out of the Gryffindor common room and down several long hallways and stairways, she couldn't help but ask, "Where are you taking me?"
He pulled her into a little alcove, just a couple feet away from one of the entrances of the secret passageways to Hogsmeade. He took both of her slender hands in his, hoping she wouldn't pull away. She didn't.
"Can you keep a secret?" he asked.
"Am I going to be breaking any rules?" she returned.
"Maybe, possibly. It's just a quicker way to where I want to go. We don't have to if you don't want to." James had never before felt so nervous. Okay, maybe he had. His first Quidditch match had been pretty nerve-racking, but this was different. This was Lily. He wanted her to like his surprise, to trust in him. He wanted her to like him, or at least just be friends with him. He just wanted her.
"James, I don't know why I'm letting you do this, but I'm willing. Yes, I can keep a secret."
"Good. Wait just a minute."
And Lily watched as James pulled out a battered piece of parchment, whispered some words, looked at it for a moment, then all of the sudden dragged her from their alcove and into a dark, damp passageway.
It took a lot to frighten Lily Evans, but she hated dark, cold, small places. Being with James made her feel a little better, especially since he didn't seem scared at all, but she still didn't like it.
James noticed Lily clinging a little closer to him (he was still holding her hand) and tried to hurry down the long passageway. Finally, they burst out into the bright sunlight and Lily breathed a sigh of relief. She looked around in surprise. They were just about a hundred yards away from the village.
Still not a word being spoken between the two, but not creating any awkwardness, James and Lily walked down to Hogsmeade. Once they entered the village, James led her to the owlry shop. James started to go in, but Lily stopped dead in her tracks.
"James…what are we doing here?"
"I just want to look around, if that's okay."
Lily sighed. This was kind of hard for her, the owl that she had had for 5 years had just died two days prior. Cyclone, as the owl was affectionately named, had been so comforting to her that Lily was still feeling the loss deeply. Sure, it was just an owl, but still. James must not have known otherwise he wouldn't be bringing her here and putting her through this torture.
Very reluctantly, Lily followed James through the door and into the small, crowded shop. He seemed very intent on looking around, at nearly every owl while she just followed behind him. In reality, he was watching for her reaction, for any owl that would catch her eye. They had circled the store once already, with no luck, before Lily ventured off on her own. James paused, pretending to study something, but watched her out of the corner of his eye.
A small, snowy white owl had captured her attention. The poor thing looked half-starved and hardly uttered a sound. It was in a small cage off in one corner of the shop. James watched and listened as Lily approached the animal.
"Hey, there, little one," she greeted softly. "Are you all alone over here? You're a pretty thing."
The owl seemed to eye her hesitantly before coming close to the front of the cage to peer at the redhead more closely.
"Are you lonely?" Lily continued, slowly reaching out a finger to pet her. "I bet you are, over here, all alone and forgotten. I bet a lot of people just overlook you. I know how that feels."
Those last words nearly broke James's heart. But if only Lily would just let him in…
"I'm sorry about that, I'm sure they don't mean to do it." By now, Lily was petting the owl and in return, the owl was making some kind of contented noise.
"I have to go now, James is probably waiting for me. Good luck, little one. I hope someone good finds you," finished Lily, giving her one last stroke. She turned around and headed towards James, who was at the front of the store.
"Ready for our next stop?" he asked.
"Sure," she said, smiling a little too brightly.
He knew her different smiles and the meanings behind them. This only reinforced his desire to help her. It was a good thing Remus had agreed to help him out, otherwise Lily would guess what was going on.
James took her hand again, still waiting for the moment when Lily would pull away and they headed out into the busy streets of Hogsmeade. As they brushed by one large crowd of people, Lily felt herself being jostled a bit. Had she turned to look, she would have noticed James bumping into someone, hurriedly whispering something to them, and then turning to look at her to see if she had noticed. But she didn't.
By late morning, Lily was only more confused. They had visited several shops, but James had just seemed to dillydally in each one and they always came out empty-handed. At lunchtime, James only headed back to the castle. Just before they reached where they had exited the passageway, Lily pulled them both to a stop.
"Okay, James Potter, what is going on?" she demanded, both hands on her hips. "I've followed you around all morning around Hogsmeade and we've accomplished absolutely nothing. You promised that this wasn't going to be a prank."
"It's not a prank, I just thought you might like to spend some time walking around this morning." James hated it, but he couldn't tell her that they had accomplished something. A lot, actually. He couldn't tell her that her surprise was to come.
"I don't understand you, I really don't. This was a complete waste of my time."
"I'm sorry that you feel that being with me is a complete waste of time. I didn't think it was that bad." James knew he shouldn't rise to the argument, but he couldn't help himself. Why couldn't she just see that he was trying to be nice?
"I've had it. With you and your endless, stupid, immature pranks. I thought you had changed, Potter, I thought you had grown up, but you really haven't." Lily couldn't stop yelling at him, all her pain, sorrow, loss, and frustration from recent events spilling out in the form of insults, all directed at James.
"I have changed! You just refuse to see it."
"I don't want to argue about this anymore. Just take me back and we can forget this morning ever happened."
She stood waiting impatiently. James was so frustrated. "Fine, let's go and then you can rid yourself of my presence."
Like much of their morning, the trip back was spent in silence. They made their way back to the Gryffindor tower, in silence. Lily went immediately up to her room, in silence. James went to his, in silence. Once there, he slammed the door shut. Needing to release some frustration and anger, he found a Quaffle and began chucking it at the wall, bouncing it back and forth.
Once in her room, Lily fell on her bed and began to cry. Life just kept getting worse. First, Cyclone, her owl, had delivered a letter Thursday morning then collapsed on her bed. When she had taken the owl to Hagrid, he had sadly told her that the owl was now dead and there was nothing he could do about it.
She had returned to the dorms, quite depressed for the day already. When she picked up the letter, she was delighted to discover that it was from home. Her face then dropped as she read it.
Freak,
Mother wanted me to invite you to the wedding, but don't even think about coming. I don't want a freak like you at my wedding, or in my life. Don't you dare show up! I hate you! You've ruined our family!
Petunia
Lily barely had the energy to make it through her classes that day. She cried herself to sleep that night, and the next one. Cassie had asked her what was wrong, but then left her alone. James Potter had noticed, almost immediately, that something was wrong. He had tried to cheer her up, in his own way, she guessed, but his antics were just the topping of her already "perfect" mood.
Now, it was noon on Saturday and she was hungry, frustrated, depressed, and lonely. A small pecking at the window drew her attention. Knowing that everyone else was gone at Hogsmeade for the day, she got up to open the window and let the owl in. To her surprise, it was the same owl she had discovered that morning at the shop. He was followed by another owl, both carrying large packages.
"So we meet again, little one. I wonder who you two belong to." Lily greeted as both owls dropped their mail on her bed. The larger owl flew back out the window while the snowy, white one flew up to perch on the edge of Lily's bed hangings.
"This can't all be for me, can it?" she asked the owl. A bob of the head was her reply. She smiled, it really was a cute owl.
Picking up the note that was attached to one of the packages.
Lily
The owl is yours to keep. She doesn't have a name yet, that's for you to pick! I'm sorry about what happened to Cyclone.
Prongs
Who was Prongs, Lily wondered. She was sure she had heard that nickname before, but she couldn't recall where. Not really spending that much time thinking about it, she turned her attention to the two large packages.
When she opened them she gasped in surprise. Each contained several small items with notes attached.
Honeyduke's chocolate – Sweets for the sweetest girl I've ever known!
A bag of pranks from Zonko's – To bring a little laughter to your life!
Two books from the bookstore, one about Charms – A little extra reading, for the most intelligent girl I know!
the second, a romance novel – To find a little romance in the lives of others!
A stuffed animal, a stag – To comfort you on lonely nights!
Lily couldn't help but smile, someone was being awfully sweet to her. Her hand flew to her mouth and she gasped as she realized the only person it could be.
James.
So that's why they had wandered around Hogsmeade for several hours. He wanted to see what she liked. He couldn't very well buy it when she was with him, she would have insisted on paying for it herself. He had spent the morning getting all these things and in return, she had yelled at him and called him immature and a git.
Lily sat down on her bed and heard a crinkling noise. She rose and looked where she had sat. There was one last note she hadn't read.
Lily,
I'm sorry about this morning, I only wanted to cheer you up a bit. Sorry I annoyed you with my presence. I just needed to tell you that in case none of these things works like they're supposed to, I'd love to do it.
I'd love to spend a lifetime just making you smile and laugh. I'd love to be the one who sweetens your life, who cheers you up, who comforts you, who romances you until we're both old and gray.
Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear. Just say the word no and I'll leave you alone. It's up to you…
Love,
James
James knew he was taking a huge chance, sending her that last note. Especially after what she had yelled at him just minutes ago. He continued to throw the Quaffle against the wall, now feeling more nervous and anxious than angry.
All of the sudden, a tapping on the window was heard. He looked up to see a small snowy, white owl at the window. His heart sank. She was saying no. That had to be it. If it were yes, she would have come over.
He let the owl in and took the note from it. To his surprise, the owl stayed in the room, perched on his bed.
He unrolled the small piece of parchment.
I'm sorry.
James was stunned. What was that supposed to mean? I'm sorry? Just as he was about to chuck the Quaffle at the door, someone knocked and entered the room. The petite redhead came to sit on his bed, wringing her hands nervously. James stood, mouth wide open, Quaffle in hand, just staring at her.
"Hi," she said shyly.
James couldn't even speak.
The owl fluttered down to rest in Lily's lap. She began to pet it, grateful that her hands had something to do.
"I don't know what to name her," Lily began. "I thought I might ask you for ideas."
"You came over here to ask me for ideas for names?" James sat down on Sirius's bed, the one across from his.
"No, I guess not. That's just an excuse." A long pause. Lily had been doing something the owl didn't like, she didn't know, but all of the sudden, she nipped at her hand and flew off. Her comfort object gone, she looked up at James.
"I came to apologize for my behavior. And not just for this morning. I was wrong, you have changed, you have grown up. I'm sorry that I told you that you hadn't. I'm sorry for all the mean things I've ever said to you. You never deserved them." She continued on, apologizing for her behavior and her words over the years.
"Lily, Lily, stop," he interrupted, unwilling to listen to her crucify herself anymore. "Whatever you've said, I probably deserved to hear that. Please don't apologize, you have nothing to apologize for."
"But, James, I've been so mean to you," she wailed. "And you just keeping being so nice to me and giving me things I don't deserve."
"You've deserved everything I've ever given you. Well, except for the pranks," he said sheepishly.
She couldn't stop the laugh that escaped.
"Why did you keep coming back? Especially when I was so mean and horrible to you," she asked, her emerald eyes wide and curious.
James sighed. There was only one answer. "Cause you're the only girl for me, Lily. You captivate me. You captured my heart a long time ago, probably from the first day when I saw you on the train. I don't think I'll ever get it back, no matter how hard I try or what you say."
Lily lowered her head, suddenly bashful. A brief thought passed through her mind, they were both acting so differently than usual. Her usual spitfire personality had disappeared, left behind when she had entered the room. His confidence, not cockiness, also seem to have vanished. They were now just two people, shy and unsure of themselves. It was weird, yet nice, to be on the same ground for once.
"What if I give you something else instead?" she asked, lifting her head back up to see his reaction.
"What is it?"
"My heart. Although, I think you've already got it."
For the second time that day, although probably in his whole life, James was left stunned and speechless.
"Really?
She nodded. "Unless you don't want it."
"No! I do!" he immediately stated.
"Okay, then."
"Okay."
"Oh, James." Lily threw herself at him and hugged him.
James fell back on the bed, Lily on top of him. He hugged her back, reveling in the fact that even though it had taken him almost seven years, Lily Evans was finally hugging him back.
After a few minutes of their sweet embrace, a certain thought entered into James's mind. There was something he needed to know.
"Lily?"
She lifted her head, so that her face was hovering over his by just a few inches. "Hmm?"
James swallowed. Hard. How dare she be and look that irresistible?
"James?"
"Huh? What? Oh, yeah. Would you be my girlfriend?" he blurted out.
"What do you think, James?" she teased.
"You've said no every other time I've asked you," he trailed off.
"Then I think it's about time I said yes, don't you think?" she said coyly.
"Yes?"
"Yes."
"Yes!" James's cheer was nearly loud enough to be heard down in the common room.
It was loud enough to get the attention of the other three Marauders. A lot of people had returned from Hogsmeade, mostly because it had started raining pretty hard.
The three boys looked at each other, curious looks on their faces and headed upstairs. Sirius was the first one to open the door. He nearly screamed (like a girl) at the sight before him.
"The world's coming to an end, Evans and Potter are snogging!"
Remus smiled, their plan had obviously worked.
"Come on, let's leave them alone," he said, trying to get Sirius to move from the doorway.
"Why? Hey, they're on my bed! Remus! What are you doing? They're snogging on MY bed!"
Remus and Peter were pushing Sirius down the stairs, much to his annoyance. Everyone but Sirius was laughing.
"Leave 'em alone, Padfoot!" Remus said.
Sirius was pushed down in front of the fireplace, pretending to sulk. "They're snogging on MY bed. Who KNOWS what ELSE they're going to do on MY bed? Don't know why Prongs has to use MY bed for his snogging. Don't know WHAT'S wrong with using HIS bed. Or HERS. How dare they use MY bed!"
Lily and James were indeed snogging and probably would have kept on snogging all afternoon if Lily's stomach hadn't just let out a loud growl.
"Hungry?" James asked, pulling back just a bit.
Lily was about to respond when James's stomach also emitted a hungry growl.
They both laughed. James helped Lily up off Sirius's bed. "Come on, let's go get us something to eat."
They managed to sneak out of the Gryffindor tower without being seen, a miracle within itself. As James ticked the pear and led Lily down to the kitchens, she couldn't help but wonder just how well James Potter knew his way around the castle.
"Just how many secret passageways have you discovered?" she asked.
"Many. I can show them all to you if you'd like. There's quite a few," he admitted.
Minutes later, Lily found herself sitting in the kitchens with James, making up for the lunch they had missed. The many house elves were only too happy to feed them.
Somehow, they came upon the topic of Petunia's wedding.
"You going to go?" James asked, knowing she wasn't.
"I'd like to. She's my only sister and I'd like to be there, but…"
"But what?"
"She doesn't want me there. She sent me a note telling me I wasn't wanted," explained Lily, sneaking an apple slice off of James's plate.
"So why not go anyway? Show up just to annoy her," he suggested.
"I could never do that to her."
"Why not? From the sounds of it, she's been awfully mean to you. You're family, you have a right to go, and you should."
"If I go…would you come with me?" she asked.
"You want me to go with you?" The disbelief was obvious on his face.
"Why not?" she shrugged. "I'm sure Petunia would just love two of us freaks there at her wedding."
"Lily, we're not freaks. We're just different and she's got to understand that. "
"James, no pranks, okay?" warned Lily.
His face fell.
"At least ones that I'm not involved in."
He broke out into a wide grin. "Then it's settled, you and I are both going to your sister's wedding."
James and Lily went and talked to Dumbledore, who agreed to let them go to Petunia's wedding and the reception. He said he would provide a portkey for them to get there and come back. Unfortunately, they would only be allowed to leave Saturday morning and come back late Saturday night.
When Saturday morning finally did arrive, Lily was nervous. Her parents had owled her to make sure she was coming. Her parents had glossed over the not so tiny fact that the bride did not want her there. She hadn't told them she was bringing a friend, much less a male friend who was now her boyfriend.
James was in his room, struggling with his tie. Sirius, Remus, and Peter were out exploring the castle, probably spending all their time in the kitchens, otherwise they would have been there in the room, teasing him mercilessly. Even now, the mirror he was looking at was letting out giggles every once in a while. James had always struggled with putting his ties on properly.
"You're hopeless," James told himself, only causing the mirror to let out another giggle. He let his hands drop, letting the tie just hang around his neck. Maybe Lily would help him.
James grabbed his wand and stuffed it in his pocket, put on his shoes and headed over to see if Lily would help rescue him from his tie troubles.
Lily had made sure that he would be wearing a muggle suit for the wedding and the reception. She, herself, had been sent a dress by her mother, although not a bridesmaids dress. Even her mother couldn't convince Petunia to let Lily to be a bridesmaid. Petunia was still sure that Lily wouldn't be coming.
Cassie, who had a special knack for hair charms, had insisted on doing Lily's hair into this fancy style, with most of it up in a bun-like thing and the rest hanging down in curls. This look, combined with the light blue dress that she was wearing gave her quite a stunning effect.
It was at least enough to cause James's breath to catch in his throat when he came down into the common room to find Lily waiting nervously, yet patiently.
Her dress was floor-length with spaghetti straps. More spaghetti straps criss-crossed down her back, exposing a good portion of it.
"Wow…Lily…you look beautiful," James stuttered.
"Thanks, James. You look pretty good yourself," she returned, blushing. She wasn't quite fully adjusted to being that nice and honest with him yet. It was refreshing to say what she was really thinking instead of saying the opposite and insulting him.
He wordlessly held out his tie and gave her a sheepish smile. She shook her head, pretending to be disappointed, and stepped forward to fix his tie for him.
As she was straightening it up, Professor McGonagall stepped into the room.
"Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans, Professor Dumbledore is waiting with your portkey," she informed them, her face expressionless. Inside, though, she was smiling. James Potter and Lily Evans made a stunning couple and it was refreshing to see the animosity between them disappear and rebuild itself as love.
She caught sight of James's wand sticking out of his pants pocket. She only briefly considered making him leave it behind, but immediately rejected that idea. It would not do well for a wizard, any wizard, no matter how young, to venture out without his wand. She hoped Ms. Evans had hers as well. (She did).
As her students passed by her, heading out the portrait door, she stopped James.
"I trust you will behave properly, Mr. Potter," she warned. She knew that Ms. Evans could and would keep him in line but still felt the need to remind him about his behavior.
"Yes, Professor, I will," he promised. "No magic, unless absolutely necessary."
Her eyes narrowed. "Absolutely necessary?"
"Life or death situation," he elaborated.
"Hopefully that won't occur."
"It probably won't," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "But with Voldemort out, one can never be too careful."
"Do have fun, Mr. Potter," she dismissed. Minerva hated to think of the danger possibilities. Mr. Potter was right, it was a muggle gathering and a muggle-born witch and pureblood wizard would be attending; if Voldemort knew, it would be a prime target.
James and Lily stumbled into her bedroom, nearly landing on her dresser. They stood up and Lily straightened her dress.
"I will never get used to portkeys," she muttered.
"You ready to do this?" he asked, putting the candy portkey in his pocket. Dumbledore was so obsessed with Muggle candy that it was worrying.
"Yeah, let's go see if we can find my mum and dad, they're probably waiting for us downstairs."
She opened the door and a loud scream was immediately heard throughout the house.
James's first reaction was to cover his ears but all he did was step forward to stand right next to Lily.
"What are YOU doing here?" Petunia shrieked.
James Potter had never seen Lily Evans bowed into submission just by someone's presence, he had known her to be much too strong for that. In fact, he couldn't think of a time when she had ever been meek or docile. Yet, here she was, almost cowering in fear.
Before Lily could answer, Petunia spoke (or shrieked) again. "I thought I told you weren't wanted, freak!"
James stepped in, holding out his hand in an attempt to smooth over the situation. "Hello, I'm James Potter. You must be Petunia. Nice to meet you."
In seeing the tall, handsome, dark-haired boy, Petunia composed herself. "It's lovely to meet you too, James." Then a pause, as Petunia looked from Lily to James and back again. "Wait, you're not here with her, are you? You're one of them," she hissed.
"Pet, I just wanted to be here at your wedding," Lily spoke up.
"I don't want you here. You or your freakish boyfriend."
Mr. and Mrs. Evans came around the corner and into the hallway.
"Now, Petunia, that's enough," her father said sternly.
Lily's parents had accurately guessed that the scream was Petunia's guess to Lily's arrival. They were quite surprised, however, to see that their youngest daughter had a guest with her. A male guest. Mr. Evans went into protective father mode immediately.
James felt himself being sized up the instance Lily's father laid eyes on him.
"Petunia, why don't you go finish getting ready? The hairdresser is waiting in your room," Mrs. Evans said kindly.
Petunia sent Lily and James one last glare before stomping off in a huff.
"Mum, Dad, maybe we should just go. She obviously doesn't want us here," Lily tried.
"Nonsense, darling. We want you here. It's been so long since we've seen you." Mrs. Evans, or Rose, held out her arms to her daughter for a hug.
James stood in the background as Lily hugged and greeted her parents. Lily seemed to have gotten much of her personality from her parents, he wasn't sure where Petunia's had come from.
Finally, Lily motioned him forward.
"Mom, Dad, this is James Potter. I hope you don't mind, but he offered to come along with me and I … well…he and I are dating now," Lily introduced.
Once again, James held out his hand and this time it was shaken. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Evans. Thank you for letting me stay."
"Oh, please, call me Rose."
Mr. Evans was just as nice, but still slightly intimidating. Of course, James would never let him know how much.
"So, James, how long have you been dating my daughter?" Jack Evans asked.
"Just a few days, sir," came the answer.
"Oh, Jack, leave the poor boy alone. Come on, you two, let's get you some lunch before we head off to the chapel," Rose intervened, already beginning to head downstairs.
Lily gave James a warm, reassuring smile before going off to catch up with her mother.
"How long have you been in love with Lily?" Jack asked sternly.
James swallowed hard, but before he could think about it, the words just came out of his mouth. "Since the first time I saw her." It sounded a little cliché, but it was kind of the truth. James had always remembered when he caught his first glimpse of the petite redhead boarding the train, the look on her face showing that she was obviously nervous. Over the years, his infatuation had only increased and acting like a fool around her was the only thing he could do. His mind just got all jumbled up when he was around her and words and actions came tumbling out that never should have. He had been a downright fool and an idiot to her over the years, but he supposed that was only because he didn't know how else to get her attention. Seeing her fiery temper explode was also a plus.
"And when was that?"
"When we were all boarding the Hogwarts Express our first year."
James and Jack were following the girls downstairs but Jack was walking at a much slower pace. At the silence, James looked over at Mr. Evans.
His eyes were narrowed and he was looking at James suspiciously.
"Son, I'm about to lose one daughter today and I have a feeling I'm going to lose my other one sometime in the near future, am I right?"
"I don't know, sir," James answered honestly.
Jack Evans continued to eye the boy suspiciously for another minute or two, knowing he was making him nervous and uncomfortable but that James was holding his own.
His tone softened a bit in his next words. "Wait a few years, will ya?"
"Yes, sir."
"And stop calling me sir, my name's Jack. I have to admit, you're a lot better than that Vernon that Petunia's marrying although if you repeat that to anyone, I'll deny it and call you a liar."
James grinned. "Of course not, Jack."
"Come on, James, let's go find the ladies," Jack said heartily.
Rose and Lily were waiting downstairs in the kitchen, already snacking on some sandwiches and chatting away like girls often do.
As he and Jack sat down at the table with them, James couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. He had passed and gotten their approval!
Whenever Petunia and Lily were in the same room (which wasn't often, but it did occur) Petunia acted as if Lily wasn't there. For James, it was quite heart-breaking to see Lily's own sister, her only sister, treating her like this. He was an only child, unless you counted Sirius as his brother, which was somewhat true lately, especially since Sirius had moved in with them, but Petunia and Lily were blood-related. James would have loved to have had a sibling.
Lily took it all in stride though, like she had dealt with behavior like this for quite a while. James grimaced. She had dealt with it for many years and he had been the cause for some of her pain.
"What's wrong?" a soft, feminine voice asked, interrupting his thoughts.
He looked up to find Lily looking at him curiously. It seemed as though she had caught the grimace flash across his face.
"Nothing, just marveling at what a wonderful, strong, and beautiful person you are," he said, smiling at her.
Her facial expression softened and a look appeared on her face. One of tenderness, gratitude, and…and was that what he thought it was….love?
"James Potter, you have become the sweetest boy." She leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek.
In a hushed voice, he whispered, "Don't let that get out. I'll never live it down. I am, after all, still a Marauder!"
"My Marauder," she teased.
"Lily, James, come along, the car's waiting!" Rose called out.
As a pureblood wizard, James had never been to a muggle wedding and he found it all quite fascinating. As he watched Petunia walk up the aisle, escorted by her father, he couldn't help but wonder how she had come to resemble a horse a bit. And the muggle man waiting for her at the altar was of a rather large size. He couldn't resist the chuckle that sprang forth when he thought of what their offspring would look like.
Lily glanced up at him, the look on her face telling him to keep it quiet. They were lucky enough to at least attend the wedding, she didn't want to make a scene.
Soon the wedding ceremony was over and people were heading over to the reception hall. Lily was tired of her female cousins eyeing James excitedly. Some of these girls were also at the same table that Lily and James had been seated at and after the meal was over, Lily was about ready to take her wand out and curse some of them. Did they not understand the meaning of "taken" or "off-limits"?
James took it all in stride, just part of his charming personality. He was polite and charming to them, but only flirted with Lily. As attractive as some of these girls were, they just didn't compare.
There were some awkward moments in the table conversation, like when asking about schools, classes, and what James's hobbies and interests were. Lily managed to help him and often turn the conversation in another direction when such questions did arise. James felt helpless at these moments, how was he supposed to know what football was or what kind of car he drove?
When the music started and the traditional dances between bride and groom and then with their parents were over, one of the girls, Angie spoke up. Batting her eyelashes and giggling flirtatiously, she asked, "James, would you like to dance with me?"
Lily looked at James for his response, with quite a look.
"Angie, I would love to, but I was hoping to ask my girlfriend for a dance," he smoothed over. He rose from his chair and moved to stand next to Lily's. He bowed ever so slightly and held out his hand. "Ms. Evans? Would you like to honor me with a dance?"
The other girls sighed at the romance of it all. Lily smiled and nodded, taking his hand and rising from her chair to follow him to the dance floor.
As they spun and danced around, quite gracefully considering the fact Lily was wearing high heals, Lily couldn't help remarking about the attention he was receiving from the other girls.
"My cousins all seem to be enthralled with you."
"Not as enthralling as a certain redhead. That reminds me, you seem to be one of the only redheads in your family, how is that?"
"You're changing the subject, but I'll go with it, for now. I am the only redhead, at least for a few generations. My great-grandmother was a redhead and so was her great grandmother. It just happens like that ever few generations. We used to joke that someone way back when had an affair with a redhead and that from the child they had, those genes were thrown onto the gene pool for our family," explained Lily.
"So you're an illegitimate child?" he mused, his hazel eyes twinkling.
She gently slapped him with one hand on his chest. "No, that's not what I said."
Then Jack and Rose Evans danced by the couple, pausing for a moment.
"Mind if we trade partners, James?" Jack asked.
"Not at all, sir…I mean, Jack." James reluctantly released Lily into her father's arms but cheerfully began dancing with her mother.
"Are you enjoying yourself, James?" Rose asked.
"Yes, very much. Thank you for letting me come." At that moment, James was secretly thanking his parents for attempting to raise him with some sense of propriety and politeness. It seemed to have worked and for that, he was grateful, he wanted to make a good impression on Lily's parents.
"My husband told me that you're going to be taking my little girl away someday."
Boy, did Lily's parents get straight to the point. He and Lily had just started dating a few days ago and they were already assuming it would end up in marriage. Did they not understand how long it took him to get her to date him? Marriage would be next to impossible!
"You're the first boy she's ever brought home, I must tell you. But something's been bothering me," Rose continued.
"And what is that, ma'am?"
"I seem to remember your name being mentioned, several times in fact, in Lily's letters and when she came home for the summer over the years. It was not in a positive light."
"Probably not, ma'am. I have acted like a foolish, immature, young child over the years to your daughter. She's been kind enough to forgive me despite my lack of maturity."
"So you've grown up then?"
"Yes, ma'am. I'd like to think I have, a little bit."
Rose started laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"Lily used to come home and complain about you all the time, saying the most atrocious things. Personally, I think she just liked you," Rose confided.
James laughed with her at the thought of that.
Just before Lily and James were set to leave, they and her parents headed back to the house to say good-bye and to have a place where Lily and James could disappear.
Lily tearfully hugged her parents goodbye, all promising to write often.
James, who had been standing in the background to let Lily have her family time, was surprised to find himself suddenly swept up in a warm hug.
"You take good care of my little girl," Rose whispered in his ear before releasing him.
"I will, I promise," he whispered back.
The four of them chatted for a few more minutes before James looked down at his watch and caught sight of the time.
"Lily, we've only got a minute," he said, pulling out the piece of candy from his pocket.
The redhead nodded in response and moved forward to place a finger on the candy. She barely had time to wave goodbye to her parents before feeling the familiar yet comfortable tugging through space. Being caught up in this movement, both she and James missed the flash of green light.
She and James landed just outside the Headmaster's office.
"I'll just go give this back. Wait, just a minute and then we can walk back to the tower together," James offered.
Lily waited patiently just outside the entrance and she waited and waited. Finally, the entrance suddenly opened and the stairs appeared. James was standing at the top, his face solemn. Something had happened.
"James? Finally, you were taking forever. James? What's wrong?"
"Lily," he choked. Unable to say anymore, he just motioned her upstairs.
He had to be strong for her and James was determined to be.
Lily hurried up the stairs, the smile that had been on her face from the enjoyment of the evening beginning to fade. When she entered the office, Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall were there.
The smile slid completely off her face.
"Good evening, Ms. Evans."
"Hi." Something was going on, Lily could tell. By the way McGonagall was looking at her, by the tone of Dumbledore's voice and by James's actions. He had moved to stand behind her, a few feet away.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"Maybe you'd better sit down," Professor McGonagall kindly suggested.
"No," she protested stubbornly. "Tell me what's going on."
"Ms. Evans, there were two more victims taken by Voldemort tonight. He had hopes of taking four, but luckily you and James made it back here in time."
The pieces were falling into place and Lily wasn't liking the picture that was forming.
"No…"
"Lily, your parents were those two victims. I'm sorry," Dumbledore gently told her.
"No…"
"Lily," murmured James, stepping up directly behind her. He placed his hands on her arms, holding her for fear she might faint in response. He gently rubbed her arms in a comforting gesture.
"But I just saw them…"
"I'm sorry, Ms. Evans," Professor McGonagall said.
"Just a while ago," she continued. "No…it can't be..." Then a sudden thought struck her. "What about Petunia? And Vernon?"
"Your sister and her husband are fine. They had already left on their honeymoon."
"But I was just there with them," Lily wailed, the tears beginning to fall. "I could have saved them…seconds later…why?"
"There was nothing you could have done, Ms. Evans."
James pulled her close, turning her around to face him and hugged her tightly. He thought back on some of the things that Lily's parents had said to him. It was almost as if they knew or sensed something like this would be happening.
Professor Dumbledore nodded to James and James released Lily a little and led her out of the Headmaster's office. She was still quietly crying.
"Albus?"
"Yes, Minerva?"
"I was just wondering why Voldemort himself showed up instead of sending one of his minions."
"I am not sure. Only time will tell the reasoning behind his actions. I suspect that there is something special about Ms. Evans."
"And Mr. Potter?"
Albus only smiled.
James led Lily up to the Gryffindor tower. He was already up the stairs and in her room before he realized something unusual. He had sent Lily into the bathroom to change out of her dress and was waiting for her to return when it dawned on him that he had gotten up the girls stairs without them turning into a slide. He thought about the possible reasons and then about Godric Gryffindor. Maybe he had done it so that it was based on a boy's thoughts. If they were of good intent, then he would be allowed to go up? Nah, that couldn't be it.
Lily finally stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in sweatpants and a large t-shirt. She seemed to just swim in her clothes. Her eyes were reddened and her cheeks still wet with tears. She had been thinking about the fact that just a few seconds later and she could have helped her parents. Then she saw James.
He was sitting on her bed, waiting for her. At the sound of the door opening, his face looked up to meet hers and Lily was caught up in the emotion she found there.
A few seconds later…
…maybe they could have saved her parents
…maybe they could have stopped Voldemort
…maybe her parents would still be alive
A few seconds later…
…she and James would have also been killed
…she would have died
…James would have been killed
The next few moments passed in silence, except for the sound of Lily's sobbing. Still sitting on her bed, James continued to watch Lily as she looked at him with a look he was unable to decipher. Before he could catch her, she collapsed to the ground in overwhelming pain and sorrow.
James raced to her side, gathering her up in his arms once more, unwilling to let her bear the pain alone. He would murmur her name every so often and whisper words of comfort. As he gently, tenderly rocked her back and forth, trying to soothe her, he thought back over the past week or so.
Finally, her tears slowed to a stop and only a sniffle escaped every now and then. Cassie and the other girls had come in for the night and upon seeing James cradling Lily, they just sent him a sympathetic smile and went quietly to bed. Cassie had hesitated a moment, silently asking James what was wrong. He mouthed back that her parents had been killed. Cassie had then promptly come over, given Lily a hug, and then headed off to bed.
Lily finally spoke. "Thanks, James."
"Hey, comforting's what I'm here for. Anytime, you know that," he said, trying to lighten up things a little.
"I guess I'd better let you go to bed," she said, sniffling.
"I'm here for as long as you need me," assured James.
He carried her to her bed and tucked her in, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Good night, Lily."
"Night, James."
James was in his own bed and had barely begun to drift off to sleep when a soft knocking on the dormitory door pulled him back to consciousness. Remus was already awake, still studying, and since he was closer, he got up to answer the door.
"Hi."
Remus turned around. "James, it's for you." He returned to his seat at the desk, leaving the door open with the slender redhead standing in the open doorway.
James motioned Lily over to him. "Is everything alright?"
"I don't want to sleep alone," she stated.
He gave her a warm smile and lifted his covers. "So come join me, I promise I'll be on my best behavior."
She got in the bed and curled up next to him. "Thank you, James," she said softly.
"I must give you one warning, however. Remus does snore. Loudly," he said, just loud enough for the boy in question to hear.
"Not as loud as you, Prongs," was the quick response.
Lily softly laughed, before snuggling in closer to her boyfriend. This time, both of them found it much easier to fall asleep.
Two days later, James was entering the Great Hall when he saw an owl dip down and drop a letter in Lily's lap. He had been late getting up and was just then making his way to have breakfast. He watched her open the letter, read it, and then slide it in her pocket without saying a word. Her face was expressionless and that was what worried him.
He approached her about the letter once, just playing it off as curiosity. She told him it wasn't important and then refused to discuss it anymore. James didn't see her again until about seven o'clock that same evening.
"James?"
He looked up from the chess game he was playing with Remus to find her standing there, clutching that same mysterious letter in her hands.
"Hey, Lily," he greeted.
"I was wondering if you had a minute."
"For you? James has a whole lifetime!" Remus joked.
"Actually, Remus, you can help, too…if you want. Sirius would probably enjoy this as well," Lily said.
James rose from his chair and stood in front of Lily. "Lily? What is it?"
"See, Petunia sent me a letter this morning. She's blaming me for my parents being killed, which I guess is my fault when you look at it because if I wasn't a witch, then they wouldn't have been targeted and they would still be alive although if you ask me, Petunia should be glad she's alive and not dead, but oh, no, she's blaming me for this whole thing and-"
"Lily!" James interrupted. "You're rambling."
"Oh, oops! Sorry. Anyway, I've had quite enough of her nasty letters and especially this one and so I was wondering if the three of you knew of some creative way to destroy them," she told them.
"Creative as in therapeutic?" Remus asked knowingly.
She nodded. Sensing that James was unsure that this was the best thing to do, Remus sent Lily up to get the rest of her letters from Petunia while he and James thought about a way to destroy them.
"Are you sure this is a good idea for her?" James asked worriedly.
"Of course it is. Remember what Sirius does when his parents send him howlers? It's better than just letting her keep them and read them from time to time. This will be good for her, James, trust me. Now we just need to find Sirius," Remus said.
As if he was somehow magically attuned to hearing his name, no matter where he was, at that moment, Sirius popped through the portrait opening of the common room, smiling brightly. His smile, if possible, got even brighter when he spotted two of his fellow Marauders.
"Oy! Prongsie! Moony! I just left Peter in the kitchens, buried in food. I'm bored! Let's go prank Snivellus!"
"Better idea, Padfoot. Lily needs some help getting rid of some nasty notes from her sister and she wants you to help," Remus informed the hyperactive boy.
Sirius thought about it for what seemed like a minute to him, but really was more like two seconds before eagerly agreeing. "Okay. Where is the beautiful redheaded maiden anyway?"
"Hey, back off, she's taken," warned James.
Sirius seemed not to have heard him. "Oh, my beautiful Lily!" he called out.
When Lily came back downstairs, a pile of letters in her hands, she couldn't help but burst out laughing at the sight presented before her. It was the first time in over a week that she had laughed, truly laughed.
James seemed to have tackled Sirius and now the two were currently wrestling, playfully, on the floor.
"She's mine!" James threatened, while getting his hair ruffled. He would have stopped Sirius but he was too busy trying to get Sirius to stop kicking randomly and wildly.
"Not if I get to her first!" Sirius joked back.
Lily made her way down the stairs, the two dark-haired boys still too caught up in their fighting to spot her. A group of second-year girls was watching the boys, dreamy looks adorning their faces.
"What are they fighting about now?" Lily asked Remus.
"You."
"Me?"
"Sirius proclaimed his undying love for you and James took a little offense to it," explained Remus.
"Oh, really."
"It's been quite amusing actually. I think Sirius is actually fixing James's hair instead of messing it up."
Lily laughed again. "Boys! James! Sirius!"
At the sound of the female voice, both boys froze and looked up at her. "I thought you two were going to help me with these letters," she said, motioning to the rather large stack.
The two untangled themselves and rushed to Lily's side. Protectively, or possessively, James slipped an arm around Lily's waist and kissed her on the cheek. He then looked pointedly at Sirius as if to say, mine.
"We could rip them into pieces and throw them off the Astronomy Tower," Remus suggested.
"No, let's burn them right here," James argued.
Two went back and forth a couple times before Sirius interrupted triumphantly. "I've got it! Let's rip them up, then set them on fire, then throw them off the Astronomy Tower!"
The three others stared at him.
"What? Haven't you guys ever heard of compromising? It's the best of all ideas!"
"Sirius, I don't think that mixing you and fire is such a good idea," Lily spoke.
He slumped down on the couch, pouting. "Aww, you guys are no fun."
"No, I've got the perfect idea," James said, working it out in his mind.
"Well?"
Minutes later, the foursome was headed down out of the castle to the Quidditch shed. Each with a broom in one hand, a bag of torn letters in another, they headed out towards the lake.
"Uh…Remus? Isn't Lily scared of flying?" Sirius whispered to his best friend.
"I don't know," answered Remus, remembering back to a certain incident first year with a misplaced hex, a bucking broom, and a screaming redhead. He hadn't been the cause of it, but Sirius and James had.
"Ready, Lily?" James asked.
"Yup." She nodded confidently. She had had enough of Petunia's insults and letters over the years. She had been foolish enough to believe in them in the beginning, but now, years later she knew better. It was perfectly acceptable to be a witch. It was not her fault that her parents died. It was okay not to be normal. It was also okay to not listen to your older, and supposedly wiser, sister.
The four mounted their brooms and flew out over the lake. They flew up in the air, high enough to see out over part of the Forbidden Forrest and Hogwarts.
They grinned at each other then opened the bags and flew around in every direction, leaving confetti trailing behind them in their wake. The torn, tiny pieces of paper fluttered down, some getting caught in the wind, but all coming to rest on the surface of the lake before becoming soaked and dissolving a bit. There were hundreds of tiny little pieces and Lily enjoyed watching each and every single one of them float downward.
Each paper held words, or parts of words, that if one had looked closely enough, they could read. Words like:
Freak
Not normal
Ruined
Your fault
Hate
Worthless
"Feel better?" James asked, flying up beside her. He reached out and took her hand in his, still managing to keep them both flying and upright.
"Never felt better!" she declared.
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