A/N Hey all! hope ya like my story im not a good writer but I think it could go to some really funny places.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Hogwarts had never had such excitement flow through the great hall before. Unless of course you remember the Yule ball and the Triwizard tournament. The Great Hall was filled from students of all houses. Even the professors can be heard talking between themselves at the news Dumbledore had just presented. Dumbledore cleared his throat in an attempt to yet again have the attention of every person in the hall.

'As I was saying, not only will ten selected participants be living in a house with each other for three months with no contact from the 'outside' world, there will be multiple secrets within the house that 'Big Brother' will choose to divulge to you at any time he sees fit. Big Brother has hand picked ten people who he believes will not get along but will be able to, if they allow it, get along harmoniously. Mind you, that may take a while. These people will be sent a summons tonight. Their bags will pack themselves and each contestant will be put into separate rooms so they have no idea who they will be living with. They will then be able to enter the house where a first task will be assigned. Good luck to those chosen people and keep your eyes peeled for those secrets. The rest of us will be watching through our crystals balls. Oh, and by the way, your wands will not be travelling with you. Big Brother thought it would be best if no magic were allowed in the house. That is all, Goodnight.

Professor Snape was the first to speak up. 'Oh my God! I could be chosen. I must remember to get my pink pair of slippers packed." He said this in merely a whisper to himself but because the students were trying to take in everything that was being said, Snape's words echoed throughout the hall. Everyone situated in the hall cracked up in fits of laughter at the thought of Snape walking around in pink slippers. That's a side of Snape that's definitely never been witnessed. As the Great Hall emptied at a rapid pace Professor Trelawny started breathing funny and struggling not to break out into a sweat. When all the students had left for their dorms Professor Trelawny let out a loud husky gasp.

'No, surely not. They can't live in a house together. Not in this lifetime.' Then she fainted. The staffed stared in her direction in shock. Dumbledore started laughing.

'What an idiot! She should by now that 'The Grim' brand of tealeaves give her hallucinations.' The staff started laughing at the fainted professor. They all stepped over her in an attempt to hurry to the hidden pub Dumbledore had installed earlier that week.

MEANWHILE, IN GRYFFINDOR TOWER

'I wouldn't like to be cooped up in a house with people I hardly know.' Hermione was talking to, what seemed like herself, ' I mean look at my studies, NEWTS are coming up soon and-'

'Hermione! Cut it out. Be reasonable. NEWTS aren't for 6 months at least and imagine the broom you could get with the 1000 galleons prize money, or in your case, how many books!' Ron stated flabbergasted at Hermione's, what seemed like, illogical mind.

'Well while you do state a very good point, I still think that-'

Before Hermione was able to finish her sentence Harry cut her off

'Imagine how fun it would be to annoy everyone in there. Especially if it was someone like Pansy Parkinson and they know they can't do much about it because they are stuck there with you! That, would, SUCK!' Harry was laughing so hard he didn't see the three school barn owls sitting in front of the Golden Trio. In unison the three disbelieving student exclaimed 'UH-OH'

In other parts of the castle there were two confused faces staring at the little barns owls in front of them, and one joyous face staring at the owl while holding up multiple hair and face potions.

When each contestant was safely in solitary confinement in their specified rooms, Dumbledore relaxed back in his chair. He took a sip of his fire whiskey and slipped a lemon drop in his mouth. His plan was in place.

'MUAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- ouch.' Dumbledore sat on the floor with his glasses askew. He really should have fixed the leg on his chair earlier.

Hermione's lock down internet journal entry.

Oh the good old net how I have missed you! Wait? Why can I access the net? This is confusing, Wizards don't know about the net. OH right! Good old Dumbledore. Makes absolute sense now. Anyway so I'm sitting here in this blank and boring room which is completely red. You would think that seeing as I'm a Gryffindor I see enough red wouldn't you? But no, Miss Granger's cause of death: smothered in red! Go ahead. Make me insane with red!

There was a note on my chair when I walked in. It was a riddle and I can make sense of riddles so I was fairly happy. Until I read it. Now I am anything BUT happy. I'm really not happy. Let me highlight how unhappy I am. Imagine waking up on the couch at three in the morning to Harry singing while cleaning his broom near your face using pages out of your first edition of Hogwarts: A History. Then on the other side of you, you have Ron clipping his toenails and them flying into your hair. How happy would you be?

Not very? I thought as much. That how I felt when I found out who I have to share a bed with. Who, by will would touch :- ok there are noises behind my door. Someone's coming in…cloaked figures. It can't be time to go, not yet. I'm not done typi-

Draco's note to God or Big Brother I can't really tell.

I know I haven't always been the best child. I'm sorry for that. But please, I don't wish for this arrangement to occur. Not with him. Anyone but him. He smells funny. Like cat really. I will never ever get Botox injections if you change the arrangements. Save me God. Lets put this in perspective. I would rather fall in love with a muggle born then be stuck following him around day after day. Imagine showering with him! You would also be scarred for life. I'm too young to die. I'll, …I'll sing lullaby's to everyone every night so they sleep easy if I could bunk with someone else. I especially can not be chained with him. I would rather kiss Dobby and marry a ferret. Save me, Please? I will never ever sin again I promise!

Yours faithf- GET YOUR FILTY HANDS OFF MY NEW CLOAK! Since when were ninja's real? They're dragging me awa--------

I hope you all liked it. Sorry it was so short.

Thanks to my beta Krippity for not telling me its rubbish but like me, wasn't feeling funny so didn't know, like me, what else to add. Suggestions are always appreciated!

Reviews are also appreciated! Thanks!