Disclaimer: I own none of the That 70's Show characters…I'm only borrowing them for my amusement. No harm intended.
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Author Note:….a little something new and different from my usual fare….I haven't seen a fanfiction quite like this and it may not appeal to everyone but if you know my writing style, you can expect some surprises (you may even guess a few)….
This is set after Season 8 and non-canon and totally alt universe but let's have some fun shall we? Hold on tight….I'm taking you for a ride!
Chapter 01 - A Frigid Winter
T7S
Somewhere In Wisconsin
Dusk had fallen and a faint flicker of stars dotted the horizon. Sparks fluttered from the ring of fire that burned in the middle of the encampment. Sitting on his thin haunches, a malnourished pit-bull howled at the faint rising crescent moon.
The rickety Airstream travel trailer had seen better days. The aluminum siding had faded to a gray sheen pockmarked with bullet holes. Raggedy curtains covered the windows and were frayed yet still preserved a bright color of sapphire. An ancient swamp cooler balanced precariously on the roof. The screen door hung on one hinge and slammed shut with the intermittent cold wind that blew through the camp. Haunting refrains of a violin amidst a zamfir flute was loud enough to be heard from the thin walls.
An old 57' Ford Ranchero, sporting a brand new camper shell; sped into the camp leaving a rooster tail of dust as it parked horizontal to the caravan trailer. An olive skinned lad jumped from the driver's side and hurried, shivering, to the Airstream. He banged incessantly on the aluminum door with his fist until the metal creaked open just a crack. A grey eye peered out of the gap between the door and the frame.
"I need to talk to HIM." The boy spoke softly but in an urgent tone. The door opened wider and tendrils of loose brown ringlets blew out of the gap and a long red fingernail pointed towards a trio of garbage cans burning in the cold. The door slammed shut and the lad rubbed his freezing arms and quickly hurried through the frigid breeze to the campfire.
Several colorful wool-blanketed men were sitting on stumps and rusted lawn chairs that surrounded the ring of fire. However, one larger man sat on a broken recliner covered by an Army issue sleeping bag. His beard was scraggly but there was something regal about his posture. He looked up and locked eyes with the Ranchero driver.
"You brought news?"
He pulled a half smoked cigarette from his denim vest pocket and lit it from a flame in the trash can. Taking a puff, the man exhaled smoke in a perfect "O" which floated towards the night sky before disappearing into the dark. The youth nodded his head and waited to be invited to sit. HE pinched the butt off his cigarette between his thumb and forefinger flicking an ash which landed on the leg of his chinos. "Is it news I want to hear?"
The young man smiled and brushed his oily bangs to the side of his face. "We found the king. He is in the pointed place."
Raising a brow HE smirked, "I have been there." HE looked at the tired group and added, "Maybe not for a long time, but I have been there and so we shall all go. Round up everyone and tell all that we need to be there for the eve of the new decade. A celebration is in order."
HE clapped his hands and blankets fell to the ground as the community of Travelers began to pack up the camp. HE skirted the fallen logs and made a path to the trailer. The creaky door opened with a gust of sandalwood and cinnamon scented air. Where was she? HE looked around and found the Romanian beauty sitting peacefully in a lotus position under piles of shiny lavender colored blankets. She was turning over Tarot cards as he spoke. "We have found the king."
She looked up and her delicate palm covered her heart. A single tear fell from her eye, over the apple of her cheek, only to splash on the Wheel of Fortune card she held in her hand.
She gasped frantically and dashed the remaining Tarot cards from her table. "This is terrible…..I can only see bad fortune."
"Don't worry Tatiana, fortunes can be good and bad….the Wheel decides."
New Year's Eve – Point Place
It was late.
Very late.
The party had already started and Kitty Forman was drinking and crying and loving every minute of the end of 1979. Red had been driving around the airport and dammit, she wasn't ready for a new year without her baby boy! She was wearing her favorite red blouse and flowered skirt and her son wasn't home from some elephant ridden African country. How could she enjoy herself? Well, a tall glass of Kahula was a good place to start!
Kitty looked around the room at the party. Ah Steven, god love him, he really needed to shave off that mustache because he was looking like a porn star. Kitty giggled and covered her mouth, what would Red say if he knew she knew what a porn star looked like! Oh my!
All her "kids" were grown up and on to new adventures. Eric was coming home and Donna was going to school. Michael was moving to Chicago and becoming a proper father to his lovely little Betsy. Lord, please don't let him glue himself to anything in front of that baby! Steven had his own record store…..Kitty sighed and swallowed another drink.
Oh, there was Leo! She hid a burp behind her hand and walked up to the straggly haired hippie, "Oh Leo….you always makes my day when you wave and smile "hello" even when you are urinating on my mailbox." She pats the weathered cheek and turns to Bob to say some silly comments about food.
Where was Eric!
T7S
Donna and Eric were making awkward conversation under the full moon and a few tears were shed (mostly Donna's) and there was a kiss, but Eric had been on a plane too long to stand out in the cold.
"I wish there was something to take the edge off."
Donna smiled knowingly.
The four friends were smiling and Eric was holding his breath as long as he could before exclaiming, "Edge, you are officially off!"
Kelso was the same buffoon he always was and Fez declared he had finally kissed Jackie. (Fez kissed Jackie?) Eric laughed as Hyde went on his rant about cars that run on water….it was good to be home.
Donna and Jackie came down to the basement and someone commented that the "burnout's needed to go upstairs because Kitty was starting the countdown. Grinning with happiness or fear, Eric stated the last one upstairs has to call his dad a dumbass. Of course it would be Kelso at the tail end of this Point Place caboose, so he quickly grabbed the stupid helmet before following his friends.
T7S
Jackie woke up on the stairs with a champagne bottle in her hand and a little bit of dried drool on her lip. Her head was pounding and her first thought was, "Oh my God! I kissed Fez!" She sat up quickly and immediately regretted the action. Her left hemi-sphere crashed into her skull and she could feel a rise of nausea that was not going to be pretty! Using her hands and knees, Jackie crawled up the stairs as quietly as she could towards the bathroom. Please don't let anyone see me! Please don't let Fez see me! She repeated the mantra until she could pass her New Year's celebration into the porcelain bowl and flopped on the cool tiles of Kitty's bathroom floor.
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Meanwhile, Eric opened his eyes to see giant dust bunnies as big as spiders (Ohmygod…Spiders!) nah…he was just lying on his bedroom floor. "What the hell am I doing on the floor?" He started to rise but a limp hand fell over the side of his twin bed and landed on his chest. Using his thumb and forefinger, he gently pinched the wrist and lifted the hand, frowning at the dark hairs on the knuckles. Nope, not Donna!
With a snort and a snargaled breath, Kelso rolled over and giggled in his sleep. "Oh Brooke….a threesome? Really?"
Eric grinned. He was really glad some things never changed. He stood up and found Fez's legs sticking out the bedroom closet and he was wearing somebody's skirt. Yeah, that was good for a burn later.
-o-
The first thing he noticed was that either Laurie or Eric liked to stick their chewed gum on the bottom of the kitchen table. Did Kitty or Red know this? Someone was going to get an ass kicking of the decade….correction….new decade! Hyde grinned and then groaned as that last can of Pabst Blue Ribbon came back with a burp. How in the hell did he pass out under the table and in the kitchen? Well, stranger things had happened! Maybe the best way to start the day would be in the basement just "taking the edge off" the hangover express.
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Donna rolled and fell onto the floor. She landed with an "Ooof!" and discovered there was not carpeting in her bedroom and after opening one slit of an eye realized she was NOT in her room. She had passed out on Hyde's cot. What the Hell? She felt a Jackie inspired "Ew" moment and wrapped the sheets around her body. Where were the rest of her clothes?
Her left shoe was hanging on the dresser handle and her blue sweater was draped over the doorknob. Luckily, she was still in bra and panties but where her pants and blazer? If Fez undressed her in any way, she was going to kick his ass – that little perv…..wait, he was with Jackie right?
Donna rubbed her forehead where the ache was starting. This was not a good way to start the first day of 1980.
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Kitty was holding her head in her hand as she stumbled into the bathroom looking for Tylenol. Not seeing the tiny brunette lying on the floor in a fetal position, the older woman tripped and tumbled into the bathtub. "Oh!" Kitty felt a wince in her back and knew that wasn't going to be good.
Jackie felt a bare foot catch in her kidney and she groaned unaware that a body was falling over her until it crashed into the porcelain tub. She looked up and exclaimed, "Oh my god! Mrs. Forman! Are you okay?"
Kitty tried to smile but her head hurt too much. "Ahahaha….no honey….I need you to go get Red. I think I hurt something important."
T7S
A/N: Important note for you readers – I've skewed some of the time lines. You may ask what parts but you'll recognize it when you read it – who is HE? You'll find out or guess it and good for you Hardy Boys and Nancy Drews!
I may post sporadically because this is still a work in progress so check the story alert box and when the next chapter goes up….you'll know before the rest of the fandom.
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