I knew something was different as soon as she walked into my office. She looked desperate. I had never seen her so raw. It unsettled me in an unfamiliar way. The pulsing between my legs pronounced, but not unfamiliar.

Thinking back, I don't know when I became so fixated on her. Once it happened, it was like it had never not been happening. I fantasized about her every night. And I despised her for it. For making me want her.

I hated her for making me hate myself more than I already did.

So I punished her. I treated her like she was nothing. I took every opportunity to undermine her and expose her weaknesses, all under the guise of my job. It was cruel. Even Elliott noticed. He told me to lay off. As usual, I ignored him.

I'm the first to admit it was selfish and juvenile and unfair. It wasn't her fault, it was mine. But it didn't stop me. And the more I obsessed and the more I made myself come at night thinking about her, the more I made her pay each day.

But I never thought this would happen. If I had, I still don't know that it would have changed anything.

Now I feel emotions that are foreign to me and that make no sense in combination - pathetic, excited, angry, dirty, desperate, confused, elated... I could keep going. For someone who typically keeps her feelings in check, this was a fucking nightmare.

My eyes have lost focus and I can barely make out the words on my legal pad below. I had too many questions. How did she know? Did she even know? Does she know now?

And most of all, what the fuck just happened?

I've come undone.

I look at the door and my mind plays it back again and again, like a song on repeat and because it is my memory there is no fix.

"Don't ever talk to me like that in front of a suspect again. Ever." Her finger pointing at me.

"Don't come in here and tell me how to do my job." I walked around to the front of my desk to show her I wasn't scared.

"Like you don't tell me how to do mine?"

I pushed myself up on top of my desk and leaned backwards, legs crossed, my arms behind me holding me up and my head cocked to one side. I wanted desperately to cross my arms but if I did, she'd read me as being defensive. I wanted her to see how much I didn't care.

"It is how it works, Olivia. The way it is. I don't make the rules." I brushed a piece of lint off my skirt, another gesture meant to show my apathy.

"But you do. And because you're so self-righteous and delusional, you think you can get away with it."

"So now you are resorting to personal attacks?" I asked evenly.

I had been enjoying the conversation thus far in my own fucked up way. I couldn't be hurt if I didn't let myself feel it. And it all hurt less if I hurt first.

"You'll know when I personally attack you" she said somewhat menacingly.

She had been creeping into my space. Now she was leaning over me, her hands planted on the desk, just outside my thighs. She was forcing me to look at her.

"That sounds like a threat" I observed dispassionately, holding her gaze, tempting her.

"Enough, Alex."

Before I could move, before I could even breathe. Her hand on my knee. I couldn't react. I watched as she pushed up my dress aggressively. She spread my legs apart. I was in shock. This felt like a dream, it wasn't real.

She reached beneath the fabric and yanked my panties from my body. I think it hurt but I can't remember. If it did hurt, I didn't care.

She didn't even kiss me. Not that I expected that. Not that I expected any of this.

Her hands pushed my legs apart further and slid up my inner thighs. I cursed myself for trembling, not wanting to let her win.

I didn't even know she knew how to win. Or that a game was being played for that matter.

She dipped her head down and I had to stop myself from moaning, restrain myself from voicing the anticipation and desire that was nearly killing me. I felt pathetic but I wanted her mouth on me more than I cared about that. And I cared about that a lot. I think she knew that.

I held back my scream by biting my lip as she lowered her head the last few inches and slipped her warm tongue through me. I drew blood quickly. My body shuddered and shook before her. Her hands kept me spread but I could have easily shut my legs if I wanted to. I didn't.

I was embarrassingly wet, I knew it before she did. She was barely touching me, her tongue only shallowly sliding through my folds. And yet when she finished licking me, after scraping across my twitching clit, I could see the wetness that she had gathered with her tongue. She looked at me as she let her tongue retreat into her mouth. Tasting me. And I knew it was over.

She had won.

She dipped her head again and I closed my eyes waiting... conceding defeat.

And then nothing.

"Tell me to stop" she said. It was so faint that I barely heard her. I can't trust my recall but it almost sounded like a question.

I didn't respond.

She bit my inner thigh.

"Alex, tell me to stop." More forceful this time.

Looking back, I wonder if she took pity on me and was selflessly attempting to return the control she had usurped. Then again, it could have just been another tactic to humiliate me, to give me the rope to hang myself. Either way.

"I can't" I breathed.

As soon as I responded, her tongue returned to my slit and dragged through me, this time with more pressure and purpose. I could feel all of her tongue, on every part of my dripping pussy. She lapped at my clit as I grew even wetter.

And it was incredible.

I wanted to pull her head into me closer but somehow I restrained myself. I let out small moans of pleasure instead of the screams that were building inside of me and considered that a coup.

Her tongue was everything and everywhere. When she pulled my clit into her mouth and sucked gently, I knew I wouldn't last much longer. She released me only to lick firmly against my swollen bundle.

The orgasm I had been controlling up to this point broke free and I braced for it as she started to suckle my clit, pulling it deeper and deeper into her mouth. When she flicked her tongue against me, I knew it was over. My body froze and I came down hard, shattering from the inside out.

I thought I heard her groan but my hearing was muddled by the white noise exploding in my head.

I lifted my hips slightly off the desk and pushed into her as I came all over her mouth. For her part, she stayed with me, licking clean the mess she had created.

After a few moments, she still hadn't stopped. It was half painful but I let her do it, not wanting her mouth to ever leave me and unsure what would happen when it did.

Then she abruptly pulled away. I had been proud of myself for holding upright during her assault, if that is even the right word for it, but now I regretted it as I had to see her.

Worst of all, I had to see her see me.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't even think anything could be said.

She took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair.

I couldn't read her for shit.

And then she was gone.