Len Kagamine. My childhood friend... My school buddy.. my best friend... and the one I fell in love with. I had liked him ever since I was little. My feelings I had always hid, But one day it had to come out.
"Len... I need to tell you something." I said after a long time of laughing with Len at the lunchroom. "What's up, Carrot addict?" He said, still joking around with me. I looked down, feeling my face heat up. Gumi, you can't do this.
"Len... I... FORGET IT!" I yelled as I battled with the feelings inside of me. He looked at me with a worried expression. I stood up as fast as I could to the bathroom. My heart beat raised, and it felt as if it would jump out of my chest. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down.
"Hi Gumi! Is something wrong?" Miku asked sweetly. Miku was a popular girl, yet one of the couple popular ones who's actually nice. She was pretty and sweet.. what wasn't there to like about her?
I looked at Miku with a faint smile. "Nothing. I'm just sort of tired." I said yawning. "If anything is wrong, don't hesitate in telling me okay?" She smiled..and her smile created a smile in my own face before I knew it. "Okay." I said.
I looked at the mirror. Gumi, decide! I heard the bell ring, signalling the ending of the lunch period. I smiled as much as I could and walked back to class. I would have some explaining to do to Len.
As I entered class, I saw that Len was looking at Miku, who was looking outside the window. I sighed at the thought that since I sat by him, I was forced to tell him. Putting together all my courage, I smiled and sat down in my usual seat. Len turned around and saw me. "Gumi... are you okay?" His words were so sweet as he spoke them. I looked down trying to think of the best way to explain.
"I... can I write it down?" I said. "Yeah." He said handing me a blank sheet of paper. I thought for a few seconds and wrote: 'I don't know how to explain... I...' I finished writing there and I could feel my hand shaking in nervousness already. I turned to look away and pushed the sheet of paper towards him.
He looked at it and wrote something down, then handed it back to me. I read it slowly to myself. 'Well... I... umm...' That reaction did not really help me out. I took a deep breath and finished writing. 'I.. like you.' I wrote, wanting to erase it so badly.
I gave it to him, hoping for the worst. I could not even look at him. He passed it back to me. I read it and was surprised of his words. 'Do you.. want to be my girlfriend?' I read. I was shocked at how he could say that so easily. I nervously turned over to look at him. He smiled shyly then looked down.
Gumi, you really do want to be with him! Are you going to hurt yourself even more by saying no? These things traveled around my mind for a few seconds. It's really what I wanted! My wish come true. But something made me feel like he liked Miku.. although he never really talked to her.
My mouth opened, wanting to give a response, yet I still didn't have a response. He got closer to me and gave me a kiss, making me even more nervous.
"Yes." I said firmly. He hugged me and I hugged him as well.
'I love you, I really love you!' I wrote on a small journal I had. All night I thought of him.. and how I managed to go out with him.
Sometimes I was sort of selfish, and in our relationship a bit of a crybaby. When he would talk to Miku I began to feel a strange hate against her. I told myself, I can't be so jealous.. He won't betray you.
But little by little this feeling began to group together and created a great jealousy on me. I could of stopped it? I don't know.
"Len... I really need to talk to you." I said after 3 months of dating. I wanted him to not hurt me by talking to Miku. "What's wrong now?" He said remembering the complaints I had made before.
"Please... If you like Miku.. don't hurt me." I said. "How many times do I have to tell you she's just a friend?!" He said in slight anger. "It doesn't seem like it!" I yelled. "You never have trusted me!" He said in a bit of sadness.
My anger and jealousy got together and I could no longer take it anymore. I raised my hand and slapped him with all my strength.
An argument? It's happened. A fight? Our first time.
"It's like you want me to go out with her so badly! You've gone insane! What, do you want me to break up with you?!" He said. "I don't love you anymore!" I yelled. Gumi, you have just lied.
"Im sorry..Your feelings are too much for me.. I can't go out with you anymore" He said after a while of fighting, with a tear flowing down his cheek. 'Your feelings are too much' What do you mean by that?
Is my love still not enough?
Please don't throw me away Please don't go...
"Yes from the very beginning I've known that you don't Love me at all But even so I Love you!"
"I said that I'm no longer in love with you And had a fight with you But the truth is Even when I'm awake or when I'm inside my dream My mind is full of thoughts about you"
"I'm sorry for being so selfish all the time I'm sorry for being silly, and for being a crybaby I'm sorry but even so I love you more than anything"
"Hey, please forgive me!
Please stay by my side Right now you don't have to love me Because some day, some day I will Make you turn around to look at me"
Len Kagamine. My childhood friend.. my school buddy..my best friend... And my true love who will never forgive me. I lied to him, and my trust I had taken away from him. Do I deserve to be forgiven? I know I don't... But I still love him.
A/N: based off "Kimi Ni Gomen Ne"
Thanks for reading!