Fili is King Under the Mountain, but the expectations and the pressure are starting to take their toll on him. But he is not the only one suffering. Kili is tired of Fili keeping him at arms length since the BOFA and confronts Fili.
Fili laid on his back staring up at the ceiling with blank eyes. The pressure to rebuild and rule a Kingdom had finally started to take its toll on him. His once silky blonde locks had dulled in colour and his hair resembled a bird's nest. The vibrant blue of his eyes had turned dark with red rimming and purple blotches surrounding them. He hadn't slept properly for so long, his body weak and his mind in turmoil. The once striking young Prince seemed to have aged significantly once he was crowned King Under the Mountain. But it wasn't just the pressure of giving his people back their home; it was the loss of his Leader and Uncle.
Thorin was gravely wounded during the Battle of the Five Armies, and even though Fili and Kili fought harder than they ever had, nearly losing their lives to protect their Uncle, it was not enough. Thorin's wounds were too great and he was lost. Fili had clung to his arm in a feverish state, begging him not to leave them.
For a long time the dwarves of Thorin Oakenshield's Company and that of the Iron Hills believed Fili and his brother were not going to make it, for fever had set in and claimed both the Princes after they were wounded protecting their Uncle.
Both pulled through, but Fili was no longer the mischievous prince that his brother and the Company had once known.
Fili knew that he should rest and yet he forced himself to sit and look over the plans of the reconstruction of Erebor, for he knew that sleep would not come to him. When he closed his eyes all he could see was Bolg's blade burying itself into his Uncle's body and the look of excruciating pain cross Thorin's face. He remembered the war cry that had torn itself from his and his brother's throat as they ran forward, cutting down anyone who stood in the path to their Uncle. He remembered the rage and fear seeing Thorin fall, who he had always believed to be undefeatable. The blood of his enemies splattered across his face and soaked his clothing and armour. Fili remembered his heart clenching as he and Kili were surrounded by goblins and Orcs. His healed wounds throbbed dully as he recalled each cut, punch, bite, slash his body suffered as he and Kili struggled to protect Thorin.
Fili felt his heart clench when the memory of Kili disappearing under a mountain of Orcs and goblins. He had never felt so helpless and terrified in his life when he thought that he was going to lose his Uncle and brother.
A silent tear slipped from his closed eyes as Fili vowed to never feel that helpless again and to protect Kili no matter the cost.
Sighing, Fili wiped his eyes and concentrated on the plan before him. Work may be able to keep his mind occupied now, but when sleep takes him his dreams are filled with the cries of the dying and he has to witness again and again his brother and Uncle fall while he is helpless to do anything. Fili examines the layout, adding notes of what he will discuss with his council, unaware of the dark eyes that watched his hunched form from the shadows.
Fili wasn't the only one who had suffered at the loss of their Uncle and the expectation of the people.
Kili stood in the shadows watching his brother's dishevelled form. His heart broke a little every time he saw Fili, for the happy, mischievous brother that he knew and fell in love with was slowly disappearing. Kili could see the strain of ruling Erebor was destroying his brother and he didn't know how to bring him back.
Kili knew that Fili would never be the same as he was before. He was the King Under the Mountain who had to restore his people's home but he was also struggling with the loss of their leader and Uncle. Most nights he was woken by Fili's broken screams, begging their Uncle to hold on, to not leave them. He also heard his name screamed. The anguish in Fili's voice sent shivers down Kili's spine. Kili knows why his brother now scream's for him in his sleep, Fili had told him one night when he woke in a cold sweat, gripping his younger brother fearing that if he let go he would vanish, like in his dreams. Kili sympathises with his brother as he remembers all too well when he disappeared beneath the mass of goblins and Orcs.
The smell of their rotting flesh, sharp teeth and glowing eyes still haunt his dreams. But that is not the only reason why Fili calls for him. Once the battle was won both princes and Thorin were gravely injured and fever set in. Many thought that they would not survive the fever, especially Kili. Fili had been the first to break the fever and had stayed by Thorin's side till he passed. Fili had never cried so much. Not even when his father died. And throughout his grieving he was alone as his brother lay in bed pale and sweating, breath shallow as he tried to fight off the fever.
Fili was terrified that his brother would not make it. For days he sat by Kili's side, only eating when the other dwarves forced food down his throat. He pleaded, threatened and cried for his brother to come back to him. That he couldn't go on without Kili by his side.
Through his feverish state, Kili heard his brother's pleas but was never able to tell him that he was not going anywhere, and for this Kili's heart broke knowing he was hurting his brother but not being able to comfort him.
Once Kili had broken through, Fili refused to touch him for his little brother was so weak and he thought that if he did he might break into a million pieces. Even now Fili refused to touch him, even though Kili had recovered and only felt a dull throb now and again from his wounds.
Kili had had enough. His brother was breaking but wouldn't let Kili be there to put the pieces back together. Kili wanted to, no needed to feel his brother again. He needed to feel those raw emotions that only Fili could awaken in him and he knew that Fili need to feel it too,
Taking a deep breath, Kili strode into his brothers chambers, startling Fili slightly who had engrossed himself in the plans of Erebor.
"Kili!" Fili exclaimed, a small smile gracing his face. IT was such a rare thing to see Fili smile, but even so Kili could see how tired his brother's eyes were. Kili felt his heart break just a tiny bit more.
"Brother?" Fili enquired as Kili did not answer and only continued to stride towards his brother, determination in his eyes.
Fili was about to ask Kili what the matter was, when Kili grabbed his brothers head and crushed their lips together.
Startled, Fili pulled back and grasped his younger brother's shoulders.
"Kili" Fili said, eyes darting over his brother slightly flushed face, "What has brought this on?" he asked softly. Kili barked a bitter laugh, tears stinging his eyes.
"Maybe it is the fact that you no longer touch me Fili!"
Shocked by his brother's angry shout, Fili released him and stepped back. "Kili, I…"
Fili's voice faded, unsure of what to say to his brother accusation.
Stepping forwards, Kili grasped the back of his brother's neck with both his hands, his eyes begging Fili to understand.
"Fili, you have done nothing but push me away since I recovered from the fever. You act as if you're afraid I'll break if you lay a finger on me. But I'm not the one that's breaking Fili. It's you." Kili says his voice layered with emotion as tears spill from his dark eyes. "Ruling Erebor is taking its toll on you, but you won't let me help you. You're destroying yourself brother, and I refuse to stand on the side and watch any longer."
Taking a deep breath, Kili gathered himself then looked into the sparkling blue of his brother's eyes.
"I want us to be how we were Fili. We never left each other's side. I want my brother back!" Kili finished, finally caving his body wracked with sobs as he buried his face in his brother's chest.
"Oh Kili." Fili sighed clutching his sobbing younger brother to his chest. "We can't be the way we were before." Fili muttered into Kili's dark mane, tears silently streaming down his face for the pain he had caused his younger brother.
"Maybe not entirely, but we can try Fili." came Kili's response, muffled by having his buried in his brother's chest. Raising his head, Kili looked at his brother's fair features which had hardened and become darker from the pressure on him.
"Fili let me help you. Don't keep me locked out brother. Please." Kili begged.
Shaking his head, Fili breathed "Kili. I can't." his face sorrowful.
He watched as his younger brother's face darkened.
Kili growled "Have you not been listening! I NEED you, Fili! I've waited for you to come back to your senses. Gone along with your stupid game, but I now refuse to go along with it anymore!" Kili shouted, his eyes blazing with anger and unshed tears. "I need you brother, and if you don't believe me then I'll just have to show you."
With that, Kili yet again crushed their lips together. However, unlike the first, this one contained all his emotions: Anger, love, lust and sadness as he devoured Fili's mouth. Fili could feel his resolve start to break.
"Kili," he managed to get out when the two separated to take air, and as Kili trailed kisses down Fili's neck, "wait." Even though he tried to stop his brother, his efforts were half hearted.
"Shhh." Kili said from his brother neck, pulling back to rest his forehead against Fili's, breathing heavily. "Please Fili. I can make you forget the people, the expectations and Erebor. I can make you forget all of it, Fili for tonight. I can make you forget it all tonight and any other time that you need me too.
It'll just be you and me, just like we used to be. Please let me help put you back together brother?" Kili breathed against his brother's face, eyes searching the other.
Fili swallowed and gently pressed his lips against Kili's, giving into his brother. Kili felt his heart leap and cupped the side of Fili's face.
Unlike before, this kiss was tender as the brother's reacquainted themselves with each other. Kili buried his fingers in the golden mess that was his elder brother's hair, while Fili wrapped his arms around Kili's slim waist and pulled him closer. Oh, how he had forgotten what it was like to hold his brother's warm body in his arms.
Tilting his head to the side, Kili tentatively swept his tongue over his brother's lips, seeking permission to deepen the kiss. Fili obliged by opening his mouth and allowing Kili's tongue to slide in against his. Both brothers' moaned their hold on the other tightening as their tongues fought for dominance. Fili somehow managed to pull Kili closer, feeling the hard contours of his strong muscles pressed against his chest, and a certain one pressed up against his left thigh.
Smiling, Fili ended the kiss and took in his brother's flushed face and lustful dark eyes. Taking hold of Kili's hand, Fili led him towards his bed, with four posts and a headboard carved out of dark oak, with soft animal hides atop the sheets.
Kili's heart beat fast in his chest, the tightness of his trousers maddening. Stopping at the bed, Fili sat and pulled Kili onto his lap, claiming his brother's lips again. Both moaned deeply as their tongues searched the cavern of the other mouth, and as their hands explored the strong firm muscles of the others chest and back. Kili squirmed in his brother's lap, humming in pleasure as their arousals rubbed together through their tented trousers. Kili ran his fingers down Fili's chest, letting his fingers beneath the hem of his brother's shirt, feeling the warm skin and soft hair scattered across Fili's stomach and chest as he pushed the garment up over his brother head. Breaking away, Kili trailed his lips down Fili's neck, setting soft kisses and little nips along the way. In response Fili drew in a sharp breath, tightening his hold on his younger brother's thighs, then gripped and ripped Kili's shirt over his head.
Kili chuckled lowly in his throat, eyes half lidded as he took in Fili's half naked form and dark lust filled eyes.
"Oh, how I've missed you brother." Kili whispered in Fili's ear before running his tongue around the shell and taking his brothers earlobe between his teeth.
Fili involuntary thrust his hips up and growled when Kili moaned loudly into his ear from the friction. Taking hold of Kili's hips, Fili flipped them so that he now laid half on top of his younger brother. Kili used the new position to allow him to rediscover the lower backside of his brother's lithe body. During his exploration, Kili let his lips and tongue travel down Fili's neck to the junction where his neck met his shoulder, where he latched his teeth onto the sensitive area and sucked hard. In response, Fili tensed then released a shuddering breath, his arms shaking on either side of Kili's heads as he tried to keep himself contained.
Kili's lips and mouth continued down to Fili's chest where he took a nipple in his mouth and swirled his tongue around the hardening bud, while his hands began to remove the offending trousers that kept his brother's member prisoner.
"Wait." Fili said, his right hand grasping Kili's, halting his task. Kili, however, would not be so easily deterred.
Having his brother's face so close, Kili raised his head and captured Fili's lips; the kiss slow and full of desire and love. When the brother's eventually broke to catch their breath, they rested their foreheads together, panting lightly.
"Take me, Fili." Kili whispered, his hot breath fanning Fili's flushed face, eyes sparkling with longing. "I need you."
With those words, any resolve that Fili had left was destroyed as he roughly took Fili's lips, every fibre in his body aflame with his desire to claim his younger sibling. Kili returned the kiss with equal force, their tongues clashing together violently, fighting for dominance.
Fili pulled back, making quick work of removing Kili's trousers and allowing his large stiff member to pop out at full mast.
Sitting back on his heels Fili took in his brother's beautiful naked form; from his red flushed face down the expanse of dark hair that led to his navel and his throbbing erection, with pearly white substance glistening at the tip.
"So beautiful." Fili whispered in awe, quickly removed the remainder of his clothing and then taking hold of the back of Kili's thighs Fili pulled his younger brother down and towards him, positioning himself between his brothers parted legs.
Their moans filled the room and vibrated off the walls as the brother's placed sloppy wet kisses over the exposed skin of the others chest, neck and shoulders and as their slick lengths rubbed against each other.
Fili gently placed two of his fingers against his brother's kiss swollen lips. "Suck." He commanded softly, then watched as his fingers disappeared into the warm, wet cavern of Kili's mouth, feeling his brother's hot tongue run over his digits and the slight pull as Kili sucked lightly. Fili moaned, his member somehow becoming harder than it already was.
Fili pulled the digits from his brother's mouth, before taking hold of Kili's lips with his own, as his fingers trailed down his younger brother's body, leaving a wet trail, towards his entrance. Kili groaned in pleasure as he felt Fili's fingers circle around his entrance and spread his legs further, giving Fili more room.
Kili gasped in surprise when he suddenly felt Fili's digits enter him, his hips rocked up in reflex, grinding both his and his brother's hardness together. Kili moaned and withered beneath his older brother, basking in the burning sensation as Fili stretched him to accommodate his large member.
Fili began to move against Kili, rocking his hips in time to each thrust of his fingers within his brother, electing a strangled mewl from Kili and a deep growl from Fili who then added another finger to his brother, and rocked his hips more forcefully against his younger sibling.
Soon a fine sheet of sweat layered Kili's toned body, laboured pants and pleasure filled moans escaped his kiss swollen lips as Fili continued to drive him closer to the brink of oblivion with his fingers.
"Please Fili." Kili panted, his eyes as dark as the night and filled with need. "I can't take much more. I need to feel you inside me brother."
Fili growled deep in his throat, pulled his fingers from Kili then drove his hardness in the depths of his younger brother's tight body. Kili's body arched off the bed, eye's rolling into the back of his head as he screamed in ecstasy. Kili's finger's dug into the furs on top of the bed, eyes rolling into the back of his head, while his fingers dug into the furs that lay atop of the bed, his knuckles turning white. Fili's eyes fluttered closed as a curse in Khuzdul ground its way out from between his lips, while his nails dug deeper into the flesh of his brother's hips, leaving moon-shaped indents.
Slowly Fili began to rock against his younger brother, feeling him clench around his throbbing length. The pace of their movements became more frantic as Fili drove deeper, becoming rougher in his taking of Kili.
Soon both brothers were drenched in sweat, their hands a furnace over every inch of flesh they touched.
Kili's hands trailed down the plains of his brother's broad back, till they reached the soft, firm mounds of his elder sibling's ass. Fili moaned around the nipple caught between his teeth, as Kili's fingers expertly massaged the muscles, and then gave the left cheek a playful squeeze.
Taking hold of Kili's wrists in each hand, Fili pinned them above his feisty brother's head.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, little brother. That's not how we play." Fili chided, before attacking Kili's mouth again, leaving red marks down the length of Kili's neck and chest.
"Fili," Kili gasped, wriggling his hips to create more desired friction between them. "Let me go."
Releasing his younger siblings hands from their pinned position above Kili's head, Fili grasped the base of his brothers pulsing erection, lightly running his circled fingers up the burning shaft. Fili smirked, a mischievous glint in his eyes, as he was rewarded with Kili hissing through clenched teeth, hooded eyes warning his elder brother.
"Stop teasing me, Fili." Kili grunted out, his voice deep and resonation through the room while his body shook from restraint. Fili smirked down at his brother, rolling his hips so that he hit Kili's sweet spot and chuckled deeply as Kili's eyes glazed over and a scream erupted from him.
"I don't think little brother," Fili spoke calmly, leisurely running his hand, with power strokes, up and down Kili's shaft "that you are in any position to make demands."
Kili's pants became more erratic, his twitching muscles alerting Fili that he was close to completion. Freeing Kili's member from his clutches, Fili grasped his younger sibling's waist and hoisted him up so that Kili straddled his rock hard thighs. Both brothers locked gazes. Dark brown, almost black, filled with love and lust met brilliant blue, projecting possession and love back.
Kili began to move against Fili, his pace increasing with each thrust of his elder brother hips. Their pants and moans redoubled as both neared their end, eyes locked on the other.
"F-Fee," Kili gasped, eye shining brightly, strands of dark hair plastered to his temples with sweat. Fili grunted in response, Kili's muscles clenching tightly around his length.
"Please." Kili chocked out before he moaned obscenely loud.
Fili grasped hold of Kili's leaking member, pumping his fist in time with his thrusts. Kili clutched at Fili's shoulders his breathing harsh, eyes screwed shut.
"So close." He panted out. Fili's strokes became more powerful and with a scream, Kili came all over his brother's hand, sticky white strands clinging to their stomachs and chests.
Still buried deep inside his brother, Fili let out a chocked moan as Kili's inner muscles contracted violently around him, and pumped twice more into his brother before he came with a roar and spent deeply inside Kili.
They rested their foreheads together, tremors running through their bodies as their hearts beat as one.
Fili pulled out from Kili's warm body, his brother's entrance quivering with the loss. Fili pulled the blankets and furs back, gently laying Kili laying Kili in the soft confinements of the bed, a contented sigh escaping his lips as Fili left for the bathroom to retrieve a cloth to clean them.
Once both brothers were clean Fili laid himself beside Kili, gathering his younger sibling to him and wrapping his arms tightly around Kili as he rested Kili's head on his chest, above his heart.
"I love you, Fee." Kili mumbled sleepily. Fili gave Kili a gentle squeeze and kissed the top of his brow.
"I love you too, Kee."
"Y-You're not going to leave me again?" Kili mumbled, but his grip on his elder brother tightened.
"No Kee. I'm not leaving you. Never again, I promise."
"Good Kili mumbled and placed a soft kiss to Fili's chest, right above his heart.
And so King and Prince Under the Mountain fell asleep, wrapped tightly in each other's embrace, happier and more content than they had been in a long time. With their fingers entwined and smiles upon their faces, they were returned to their youth once more, knowing that they would never leave the others side again.
Outside their door Balin smiled warmly. His King and Prince had found each other again, and knew they would help the other through these hard times of loss and the rebuild of their mighty Kingdom.
Balin turned and made his way down the torch light stone corridor, his old heart lifted.
Hope you enjoyed my story and any advice on how to improve future ones would be greatly appreciated. Thank you :)