Chapter 1: Chapter 1

A/N: I wanted to write a little bit of Kanji x Naoto fluff, and so here it is. From Naoto's perspective. Takes place shortly after the boss fight with Namatame. EDIT: Added a bit more, changed the tense issues, tweaked the ending, and fixed stuff.

Your Affection

I walked through the school corridor with my head down. Rain pattered against the windows and I briefly thought that it was eerie how closely the weather mirrored my mood. School had just finished for the day and the halls were crawling with students. I could feel their curious eyes boring into the back of my head.

Such an interesting specimen, the Detective Prince. Girly-boy? Boyish-girl? Man-boy-girl-child? Their stares had lessened lately, but today their beady eyes were back, searching for a chink in my mysterious aura. Is she crying? Tears have a stunning ability to draw attention to even the most bland of people—not to mention a Detective Prince.

I almost wished that I could put my umbrella up to hide my face, despite the fact that the action is completely illogical. I am indoors. Drawing more attention to myself is all I would accomplish. And that's the last thing I want. The brim of my hat will have to suffice.

I had to calm down before my friends arrived. They'd be able to tell instantly that something was seriously wrong. I pride myself on hiding my emotions, but the investigation team…my friends…they can always tell when I'm upset. Especially Seta. I suspect that he is telepathic. It's rather irritating sometimes. People are so much easier to deal with when they think you don't care about anything…including yourself.

I turned to enter the usually empty classroom and looked into the faces of three unknown people. Embarrassed, I turned away. Why now? I needed a place to calm down and these three cretins had decided to deprive me even of that.

I turned on my heels and walked briskly and blindly to the bathroom at the end of the hall. I pushed the door open and did a quick check for feet in the stalls. Thankfully, there were none. I looked in the mirror. I wasn't sure what I was expecting. Perhaps I had hoped my face would not bear the evidence of my uncontrollable sobbing. But the mirror proved my irrational hope wrong. Very wrong. My eyes were red and puffy and a glistening trail of snot descended from one nostril. I nearly broke down in a sob again. A few tears leaked out of my overly moist eyes. How could I possibly have enough liquid in my body to keep crying?

I took a deep breath and wiped my sleeve over my eyes for the fiftieth time since I'd had a meltdown over…over what? The fact that I'd failed to save Nanako from Taro Namatame? The fact that Souji probably blamed me? The fact that…no matter how strong I try to be, I will always be just a useless excuse for a detective? All of the above?

I checked my watch. My friends would be arriving soon. I had to at least try to look cheerful.

I took some of the paper towel and ran it under cold water. I wrung out the excess water and pressed the cold material to my eyes. Deep breaths now. It succeeded in calming me down. I removed the towel and looked at my eyes. They were less puffy…? I shrugged and exited the bathroom.

Only to run straight into Kanji Tatsumi. Blast. I wasn't quite calm enough to face anyone yet…especially not him.

"Whoops. Uh…sorry about that, Naoto." His deep voice sounded from somewhere above my head.

I stared intently at the floor and mumbled some sort of greeting. I attempted to leave, but he caught me by the arm.

"Yo, What's up?"

How did he know? He hadn't even seen my face.

With great effort I tilted my face so that I was standing my full height (which was by no means impressive). I stared intently at what was at eye level: the skull design on the front of his sweater. Why the skull? Was it a symbol of something personal? Why had I never asked him? Why did I suddenly care?

"Nothing," I mumbled. "Nothing's wrong."

He tilted the brim of my hat up and met my gaze. "Really?"

It took one word. That's it. I crumbled. The tears I had tried to dam flooded through. I tore my eyes away from him and turned to walk away, swiping my sleeve over my eyes again. My cheeks were going to be raw.

He let me go, which surprised me. I thought he'd push for an explanation. But he let me walk away. Somehow I almost wished that he hadn't.

I left the building and ended up outside in the courtyard. I was over feeling sorry for myself, and beginning to be a little angry. Mostly at myself for the lack of composure I'd just shown but also at Kanji. He was the one who made me start crying again.

I did not look at the floor. I looked straight ahead with my tearstained puffy red face. I dared anyone to judge me.

"Naoto."

I turned around to see Kanji striding toward me. What could he possibly want with a useless, sniveling child?

"Kanji-kun, I…"

He didn't let me finish. He put one arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him in a rough embrace.

Before I even understood what I was doing, I'd put my arms around him and was sobbing into his shirt. I felt his chin rest on my head as he held me while I cried.

"It ain't your fault, Naoto. Ain't nobody's fault, 'cept that bastard Namatame's."

How did he know exactly what was bothering me? Am I so easy to read or have I underestimated Kanji's perceptive skills?

"But I should have been able to see the pattern. If I cannot even perform the basic job of a detective, then how am I supposed to be of any use to anyone?"

He pushed me away from him, gripping me by the shoulders and looked down at me sternly. "Don't you dare talk shit about yourself! I'd beat the crap outta anyone who said that 'bout you. What makes you think that I'm gonna let you say it?"

I just starred up at him, not knowing how to respond. He was chastising me and yet it was one of the kindest things anyone had ever said to me. I broke down sobbing again for a reason that even I could not comprehend. Tears, I was discovering, are very like potato chips: once you start it becomes nigh impossible to stop.

"Shit, I didn't mean…" Kanji shifted uncomfortably and pulled me back to him in another embrace.

I tried to stop my tears. But…if I succeeded, would he stop holding me? I didn't want that. No. Illogical. Tears are pointless. Stop crying now, you child!

"Kanji…I-I'm getting your shirt all wet." I attempted to pull away, but he held me fast.

"Doesn't matter. 's just a shirt."

I sniffled. "I apologize. I am being so childish right now."

"You ain't a child. You're the smartest…prettiest…"

Kanji trailed off. I could detect a small flush of crimson dust his cheeks.

"Kanji…you don't have to say that. I know you're trying to make me feel better but lying isn't the way to—"

"I ain't lyin', Naoto. I've…uh liked you since the first time I saw you."

This surprised me. "But…you thought I was a boy."

Kanji shrugged. "Don't matter what you are. Boy, girl…I don't see you like that. I just see you as Naoto."

I could not speak and settled simply for hugging Kanji tighter. He stroked my hair as he held me, and I no longer felt like crying. I do not know if he leaned down or if I leaned up or both. But the space between our lips vanished.

How long we remained in such a compromising position remains unknown. All I do know is that I wouldn't change that time for anything.

"Whoa, Kanji!" Yosuke-senpai's voice woke Kanji and I from whatever trance we'd been in, and we pulled away from each other quickly. Too quickly. Goddamn you, Yosuke.

"I thought that, you know, you didn't like girls." Yosuke teased.

Kanji's face was quite red and I could feel my cheeks burning.

"Yosuke-senpai, don't you have something better to be doing? Like…I don't know…playing in traffic?" My voice was acerbic. I made no motions to conceal my annoyance at his interruption.

Kanji smiled at me and patted me on the shoulder. " 's ok. Yosuke-senpai's just doing what he does best."

Yosuke gave a lopsided grin and shrugged. "Souji told me to tell you guys that we're going to meet up at the hospital. They're allowing Nanako to have visitors now."

"That's wonderful news!"

"Yeah, come on. Let's go!"

Kanji took my hand and we followed after Yosuke.

"Kanji-kun?"

"'sup?"

"Thank you."