FANDOM: Hikaru no Go
TITLE: A Thousand Paper Cranes of Hope and Dreams
AUTHOR: RazenshiaSapphire1306
GENRE(S): Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Angst, Humor (fail attempts), Mystery and Sport (Go, is consider one, right?)
RATING: T
SUMMARY: Shindo Hikaru had lots of regrets and wishes in his life – one of those were to find and meet Sai again. To apologized for everything and to start a new with his mentor/brother-figure. But never did he expect to see him again as his brother in the alternate dimension! Is that even possible?! Apparently it is. Dimensional Time Travel AU.
WARNING(S): Language, OCC-ness, Neglect (But it will get better in the follow chapters, I think?), PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), Confusion, Plot Holes, Slow Build, Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Lack of concrete knowledge in Go and Unbeta'ed!
NOTE(S):
This story main focus is family/friend-orient/bonding but there will be go in the background.
It's been awhile since I watch or read the series and my knowledge about Go is almost none-existent so pardon me from making mistakes if ever you spotted one while I am demonstrating a game or match – it will be super vague and doesn't make sense at all!
English isn't my native language so there will be errors in this story (grammar, run-on sentences, typos, tenses and etc.) and little vocabulary.
This is an experimental fic like I'll Be the One (another HnG) which I haven't updated due to writer's block so don't expect a weekly updates. I'll update when my muse is up.
This story will be slightly dark but nothing explicit.
Chapter length will either be long or short. But, I prefer short because I tend to babble and use quite a lot of scraps words.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from HnG!
Arc I: Establishing Bonds
Chapter 1
"Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult."
-Thich Nhat Hanh-
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"What's up, Hikaru? You've been looking kind of down lately," A thirteen year old Fujiwara Sai stated, sliding into the seat across from his younger brother.
"N'thing, Nii-chan." Hikaru tries to smiles which turns into grimace, shifting the glass of milk in chubby hands with caution. (1)
Sai hummed slightly and arched an eyebrow, disbelieving at the child. "You sure? So you're telling me that I-kind-of-kick-a-puppy look is nothing?"
"Nii-chan!" Hikaru pouted. "I dun' have th't kind of look!"
Sai chuckles at his brother's reaction. It is quite an adorable sight – Hikaru trying to look angry but it always ended up a disgruntle cat.
"Mou! Stop teasing me!" Still pouting at his older brother.
At this Sai said nothing as he continues to stare Hikaru flatly which causes the young boy to squirm with discomfort until the latter gives in.
"I want to do somethin', but I dun' really have a clue as to what I can do," Hikaru mumbled with distaste.
If possible Sai would raise his eyebrow a little bit higher but since it isn't possible, he leaned closer in anticipation because it wasn't everyday Hikaru acted these way. "About what?"
"If I want to wish someone well what can I do for them?" Hikaru asked, his earlier childish expression completely disappears and he glanced up to meet his sibling violet eyes with dead seriousness.
Understanding dawns at Sai and smiles warmly at the boy beside him. "Is this about my surgery?"
Hikaru nods meekly an affirmative, refusing to meet Sai's gaze when he smiles like that.
"Oh, my dear Hikaru. You know that you don't need to do anything from me." Sai exclaimed gently. "You, being by my side is always more than enough. You need not to worry about me. I'll be fine."
"But, I want to do something from Nii-chan! Those white ladies said Nii-chan is sick! So Hikaru wants to do somethin' to make sure Nii-chan gets better!"
Sai sweat-drops at the term Hikaru uses at the nurses assigned at him then he looks at the determination and hopeful expression written all over the child's face, he already knows that his earlier words isn't the respond his brother's seeking so he silently thought a safe task he could give the other and then, he remembers an old legend or folktale their grandparents have told him when he asked the same thing from them in his earlier childhood days.
"Okay, I understand." Sai, finally relents. "Anyway as for something you can do, there's this old Japanese legend that anyone who folds a thousand paper cranes will be granted a wish."
"Really?" Hikaru perking up at the statement.
"Yes, Stuff like living a long life or recovering from illness or injury are common wishes." Although he haven't tried it in the past since before he can make one, their father went well in that very day he gotten sick. It was only simple cold and fatigue from his work, not a very serious-dying illness as he thought – some good day rest would be able to cure in an instant. Much to his own disappointment (In not making a single crane for his father which the latter simply laughs off, saying he was such a kind boy) and relief (knowing it wasn't serious). And now, here he was saying the same thing their grandparents had told him to calm his whining (or was it a demand? Never mind.) "It's quite popular as get well soon or good luck gifts."
"If it's popular then why haven't I hear it before?"
"That's simple question, Hikaru! It's because you haven't ask!"
"Nii-chan!"
Sai reached over and vigorously ruffled Hikaru's hair, prompting the squawking Hikaru to flee.
"Nii-chan!" Hikaru whined as he walked through the door while fixing his hair then came back to thank him before rushing once again at god knows where.
Hmm, that went well. He managed to give a harmless advice at Hikaru without fuss.
Still, why does it felt like he had said something not right?
It's just paper cranes. Nothing won't get wrong… But, why does there is a dread growing inside him?
At the day of Sai's operation, Hikaru sneak out at their house since there was no colorful papers for him to fold.
No one ever find out what he did for they were busy, attending Sai's operation. He wasn't a bit jealous or envious at the attention their (his) parents giving at his older brother. He had gotten used to it. At first, he was bitter, and lonely for the lack of attention and care from them but Sai's genuine brotherly affection was more than enough to sustain the parental love they forgot to give him – all of those, Sai fulfills them whether he did know it or now. He had given Hikaru more than he ever asked for.
So, now here he was in a journey to make sure his brother will fully recover a hundred percent.
Luckily, he managed to find a cheap store and somebody that sells those colorful papers and helped him at making one. The quality isn't the best but what count is the thought, right?
Too engrossed with his thought and excitement (rushing) at seeing his brother's happy face, he failed to notice the upcoming vehicle on his way.
It was already too late when he notice the danger.
He was already flying away.
His last thought and sensation was an excruciating pain and he wants to see his brother again.
He succumbs into oblivion, not hearing the alarms in his surrounding and how he bathe at his own pool of blood with colorful papers falling down at him with the paper cranes being taints by death.
Death is only half way at grabbing him towards the afterlife.
(Why was he still walking?)
He stares blankly at the tombstone in front of him. It wasn't the same. It wasn't him.
(Why was he still fighting to stay alive?)
It's not enough. He wasn't satisfied. This wasn't his grave. Grave? Ah, that's right… He was gone. GONEgoneGone! Never going back because of him! It was his fault that he was gone! Maybe he should disappears as well?
But…
(So – why? Why is he still going?)
Because he knows better than to simply give up, despite how much he yearns to. It wasn't simply his forte and Sai would be disappointed at him – by making the same mistake he had done. Unforgivable. Unthinkable. So, he vanquish that thought away. He won't take his life because Sai would be sad. He never want that. He already taken so much from him – he was selfish, that is why the latter disappears. And that is why he can't taint his legacy. It's only he can do from everything he had done for him. It's the only thing he could think of – to repay him.
And so he would continue on playing, trying to achieve the thing he haven't – The Kami no Itte (Hand of God) or the Divine move.
Until then…
He will continue on…
Yet, he have so many regrets and wishes that never been redeem and fulfill.
Despite, his achievements. (Still he have not attain the divine move)
He wants to meet him again.
To apologize from everything.
To let him play to his heart's content.
To help him to achieve the Hand of God.
To beg his forgiveness and let him stay by his side.
To simply start anew.
With a weary sigh, he closes his eyes and decides to face tomorrow head on.
"Sai! Stop being stubborn and just go and see your brother!"
"I can't!"
"And pray tell me, why you can't? Don't tell me you're still beating yourself at what happened at the brat? I am right, am I? Bullshit! No one blames you! What happened seven years ago was an accident and it wasn't never your fault! It was that drunkard truck driver! Not you!"
"You don't get it, Seiji… If I did not tell him about –"
"Stop right there! If the brat sees you right now. He'll be disappointed and upset because you haven't visited him ever since he went coma for seven years!"
Silence.
"Sai, they are already going to remove your brother's life support tomorrow morning. You need to see him and stop them! They have given up hope that he was going to wake up and even your parents already given up so they have bid their own farewells. But… you are different, right? You haven't given up hope and you certainly don't agree at the procedure of mercy killing… You still believe the brat will wake up."
There was a silence for a moment then finally Sai met his friend's gaze.
"Seiji, I – I am scared. What if I go there and then he would die on me? What if Jii-sama was right that Hikaru was only waiting for me to go to him?"
"Maybe your grandfather is right. Maybe he was not. But, that's not the point. Do you want to regret the chance at not seeing him alive before you could talk to him?"
Sai shakes his head.
"Then, go and visit him already!"
"Seiji… I…"
"I understand. Don't let that fear consumes you. Paralyze you from doing what you truly wish for because if you did. There will be a lot of things you'll regret at simply not visiting and talking him. You will never have a closure."
Sai gives his friend, a watery and shaky smile. "Thank you, Seiji."
Ogata Seiji grunts and motioned the other to just go which the latter did without much fuss.
Knowing that his wayward friend, is already out of range. The 9-dan professional go frowns as he moved his gaze at the figure leaning at the opposite wall.
"Well," Fujiwara Heihachi, grandfather of Sai and Hikaru grinning at him. His expression is a feral. "You managed to convince him. Even so, don't expect that I let you taint my grandson! He is too precious to be devour by a savage wolf like you."
Seiji was too tired to deal with this so he simply rolled his eyes at the old man's antics.
Wolf, huh?
Hmm… It was a bad compliment.
Maybe he could…
"Stop thinking such lecherous deeds! I won't let you have Sai!"
"Shut up, old man."
There's a lot of things he wanted to tell Hikaru. So many things left unsaid that he may never have much time to tell.
He doesn't have any idea how to start a conversation with Hikaru. Can it be still called a conversation when the person you're talking to is in a coma?
With a resigned sigh, he sat down at the chair beside his brother's bed.
Looking at Hikaru, hurts him. His little brother ball of sun shine and life was plugged with different machinery just to keep him alive up to this point. And it must be very painful process for Hikaru to endure it up until now.
Sai… Sai still blames himself from what happened to Hikaru. If he hadn't told him that folktale at the boy then these thing won't ever transpire at all.
At the same time, he was scared. Now, that he was here at Hikaru's side … He'll lose him. He's scared that he will lose his dearest younger brother, that boy was simply waiting for him to visit and talk to him before he would let go at feeble thread of life of his.
But… Seiji was right. If he remain undecided, there's a lot of things he may regret than just not talking and visiting his sibling. He will never have his closure although that is not what inside his mind – he doesn't need a closure because Sai still hopes – even the chances of Hikaru waking up is absolute zero, he still have faith he'll come home to him with his own brightest smile while greeting him.
And yet… Sai knows – that Hikaru doesn't deserve anything of this. That is why… He had made up his mind.
Gently, Sai's holds Hikaru's limp right hand loosely albeit a little bit tight. He resists to choke out a sob at how pale and bony he became – he looks so small and fragile near at him.
"Hey, Hikaru. It's me. Sai, your older brother. Do you still remember me? I don't know whether you're hearing me or not. But, I just want you to know that I love you so much and I am very sorry that I haven't come here ever since the accident. I become such a coward for that I am sorry. You see, I was simply scared at losing you. I don't want to lose you… Even so, Hikaru. You must be in pain and I'm certain you are tired… so, so tired at holding on. Um, what I'm trying to say is… it's alright to let go. I'll understand. You don't need to stay just for us (me). You can let go now and be free – I won't hold it against you. I'll understand. So… do what you want. It's alright. Always remember, I love you and I am here."
There is still lot of things he wish to say but that is more than enough to convey everything. He finally deliver them.
Sai, finally let out his bottled emotions and cries, silently at his brother's side not letting go of his hand. Then, he fished out something on his pocket – it was a paper crane he had made for Hikaru. Setting it beside the young ones side.
It's true. He may sound like he was saying his own farewell just now. But it doesn't mean he had lose his hope.
There's still time before they remove Hikaru's life support.
Damn. He really can't let go of his brother.
He have no idea… What would he become once Hikaru decided to let go because of him.
On cue… The alarm went wild… His brother's form start convulsive and Sai's cries harder, knowing that it's time Hikaru –
There's a sudden loud gasp and Sai's whirled his attention at where the sound came from and at the same time.
Wild and blearily green eyes snaps open and meet his own violet ones.
"H-Hikaru?"
The first time you made a paper crane, it might be crook and deform all over places. But, it's a start towards learning of perfection and creation…
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To Be Continued…
Author's Note: Hikaru no Go is classic and pretty much deserve a lot of fanfic and attention. So I have another HnG fanfic about to post soon – it is a time travel fic as I've seen a little of them in these universe so I am writing one.(Plus, if I don't write them… I'll go insane!)
I'll Be The One – status is … Chapter 2 is in progress about 20% so maybe next month I'll bring myself to update it.
(1) Hikaru's speaking and mannerisms is a bit off-key due to being a child, and same goes with Sai – I imagined his childhood slightly being laidback, brotherly-figure and a bit mature for his age but never losing his innocence, gullible attitude which almost the same at the canon.
(2) Ogata may out of character – well, guys. This an AU and he is a friend trying to shove some sense at his stubborn friend so obviously he'll need to talk (shout/berate) at him too much so the message can be deliver. Don't worry – he'll be back on character (a bit) overzealous and creepy-stalking tendencies at Sai (Well, that is if he succeed to discard completely Heihachi out of his way. Go! Grumps!)
(3) Hikaru's age is 5 before the accident while Sai was 13. Yes, eight years gap. Now, in present he is 12 and Sai being 20!
I'm still searching for a beta... for those interested, please kindly. PM me.
And a few pointers about Go will be much welcome and appreciated! Thanks!
Comments/Reviews, Kudos/Votes/Bookmark and Become a Follower are welcome and appreciated! So is Suggestions and Recommendations~
Next Chapter: Hikaru is awake! Finally! But he is confused as hell at finding Sai is very much alive and in flesh. What shock him most is the knowledge he was his brother! Where the hell is he?! It's true he wish to see Sai! But not like this! He didn't want to be in some-sort alternate universe or was everything a dream? Urgh. Thinking too much isn't his thing … maybe he should take a nap. Well, that is before he can manage to stop Sai in smoldering (spoiling/fussing) over him like a mother hen to death.
Word Count: 2,413
Written: 1/29/2017 (month/date/year)