Note: This was written in 2011. Don't judge me. Don't judge JayJarvis either, because she helped write it and maximize the goodness.
Fanfiction by: Harpy Staraptor
Food Frenzy: The Potato Predicament
(The Truth About Potatoes)
Once there was a guy who was a passionate potato-man. One day, he found a potato in the woods by his house.
"What a glorious potato!" he exclaimed.
He brought it home, and after long hours of studying the potato, he concluded that this potato must be made into chips.
So he bit it. His eyes welled up with tears. It was the most glorious potato he has ever tasted.
So he ran to tell his family that he has finally found the perfect potato. Then he died. And that was the end of Bill Taylor Potato, A.K.A. Dr. Potato.
From the moment he died, his whole family became passionate potatoes. R.I.P.. A.K.A. Rest In Potatoes.