REVOLUTION
Note: Anti ending / Anti SS / Anti NH / Anti 700 / Rant / You have been warned
Naruto traveled in time and saw chapter 700 and The Last movie, then went back and got drunk with Sasuke to ease the pain.
Naruto shook his head slightly and mumbled,
"God helps us… god helps us all…"
Sasuke said while bringing the glass to his mouth,
"Still can't talk about it?"
Naruto looked at Sasuke and said,
"You can't blame me! What I saw was a disaster! Oh god helps us…"
Sasuke asked with crooked eyebrow,
"What did you see? A war?"
Naruto said with his eyes open widely,
"I wish! What I saw was a nightmare! I go OOC… you go OOC… Sakura goes OOC… I was like, who the fuck are these people!?"
Sasuke crooked an eyebrow and said,
"OOC, really? All of us? I become a playboy again?"
Naruto shook his head and said,
"Nooo! It's nothing like RTN! This time we're all OOC in real life! It's not an illusion or anything like that!"
Sasuke slightly leaned his head to the left and said,
"I don't get it…?"
Naruto signed with his hands and said with raised eyebrows,
"Well, I, for some reason, seem to think that my love for Sakura was a brother-sister love all along."
Sasuke placed his glass down and said with crooked eyebrow,
"Um… You wanted to kiss her so early in the show, You kept giving her promises and such to cheer her up, You always tried to win her attention, You were dying to get out on a date with her… I think you went on a date with her once?! Not sure… So, how is that brother-sister love?"
Naruto bent his lips and said with raised shoulders,
"I don't know… maybe I was under some genjutsu or something all along… Or maybe I just get confused when it comes to love…Which means, I almost ended up kissing "a sister" on the lips…"
Sasuke frowned and said,
"Eww! Enough about that. Tell me something else?"
Naruto raised his eyebrows and said in a surprise,
"I'm not with you! I don't even know where you are! Nobody knows where you are, what you're doing, why are you traveling, or what's your purpose in life in that era!"
Sasuke frowned his eyebrows and asked in doubt,
"I disappear?"
Naruto waved his hand slightly and said,
"Sort of… apparently you became a wanderer…""
Sasuke raised his eyebrows and asked,
"What am I searching for?"
Naruto shook his head and said with is eyebrows raised,
"Nobody knows, Sasuke. Nobody knows! It's your road of redemption. That's all we know. It's all they keep saying."
Sasuke said in disapproval,
"That's my revolution?"
Naruto half-smiled,
"I don't think you have time for that! You have a wife and a daughter…!"
Sasuke jumped,
"I get married!? Who's the lucky bitch?"
Naruto nodded,
"Sakura."
Sasuke said in a shock,
"Wut! How come? I don't even love her?!"
Naruto said in sarcastic tone,
"Well, I didn't marry her, so she's available… and I didn't marry you, so you're available too… Sooo why not put these two miserable characters together and make a family?"
Sasuke asked,
"How did we get married?"
Naruto shook his head,
"Nobody can tell! Not even the author himself! You two are giving him hard time now."
Sasuke nodded slightly with fixed eyes,
"I'm not surprised. I mean, Sakura and I?! We don't work. That's a Big Fat Nope."
Naruto grabbed his glass and said,
"Tell me about it…Even I can't see how you two ended up together… And I was there all the time! I know that there is ZERO development between you two."
Sasuke returned to look at Naruto and asked,
"So, anyway, you're not with me, and you're not with Sakura… Who do you end up with?"
Naruto said without removing his eyes from his glass,
"Hyuga Hinata!"
Sasuke crooked an eyebrow,
"Hina Who?"
Naruto mumbled while playing with his glass,
"Some side character that suddenly became important… I'm not sure why tho.."
Sasuke asked,
"So…You're in love with a side character?"
Naruto raised his eyebrow and said while bringing the glass close to his mouth,
"Apparently, yes."
Sasuke lowered his eyes in surprise,
"I didn't even notice that. Did you like, have moments with her and such?"
Naruto shook his head,
"Not really. I was clueless… Did I mention that she's my stalker!"
Sasuke raised his eyebrows,
"A stalker? Yeah I know how that feels, to have a stalker who would go as far as losing an arm just to save your ass, when all you were thinking of is killing that dobe."
Naruto smiled,
"IKR! That was gay."
Sasuke said while bringing his glass close to his mouth,
"Hella gay!"
Naruto nodded,
"Totally."
Sasuke asked after draining his glass empty,
"So how did you betray me, and fell in love with your stalker?"
Naruto raised his shoulders,
"Apparently, she gives me a scarf and I fall in love with her like„ magically!"
Sasuke raised his eyebrows and said,
"Just like that?"
Naruto nodded,
"Just like that…"
Sasuke shifted his eyes to the corner of his eyes and said,
"I'm not sure if that's a well-developed relationship…"
Naruto sneered,
"You're one to talk! You marry Sakura, Sasuke! There is zero development in there!"
Sasuke slightly nodded,
"True… So I have no purpose in life, but what about you? Do you accomplish any of your goals?"
Naruto grinned,
"I become hokage! Yay for me!"
Sasuke crooked an eyebrow,
"And I don't even assist you? Advise you? Guard you? Work with you from distance? Or even stand there like an idiot next to you?"
Naruto waved his hand and said,
"You're not even there, Sasuke. You're gone! Vanished! Poof!"
Sasuke lowered his eyes and said nothing back,
"..."
Naruto mumbled,
"Sasuke?"
Sasuke said with crooked eyebrows,
"I'm just wondering why the fuck did I let you live! You'll ruin everything!"
Naruto raised his eyebrows and said,
"Me!? It's not my fault! I'm not the one doing all of this!"
Sasuke snapped,
"Who!? Who made you go so OOC? Who made you abandon me? Who made you forget about our revolution? Who fucked everything up?"
Naruto said,
"Hinata… Oh! Hinata was the reason why Neji died too! He died so she and I could get married, and have two damn kids!"
Sasuke sighed in annoyance,
"This Hinata is going down! Where is my Taka team!?"
Naruto opened his eyes widely and said,
"Oh! I forgot to tell you! Taka just disappeared. You're not with them anymore. I'm not even sure if Karin survived the mugen tsukuyomi. She's nowhere to be found."
Sasuke said in disbelief,
"What? How so? Why? Why am I not with Taka?"
Naruto bent his lips,
"I don't know… They're just not important… we don't know anything about them… maybe they died or something… nobody knows…"
Sasuke parted his lips and asked i a shock,
"So I have nothing!? No team! No revolution! No reason! No dream? No life?!"
Naruto half smiled,
"You get to fuck Saku—"
Sasuke activated his eyes powers and grabbed Naruto's collar suddenly and said with sharp eyes,
Dare to complete that sentence and I will chidori your ass so bad you will end up screaming my name, just like old times!"
Naruto surrendered and said,
"Sorry… I don't mind screaming your name tho… and… You shouldn't activate your sharingan and rinnegan in a bar… not to mention, against me, your one and only…"
Sasuke gazed away and said,
"I'm going to start a REVOLUTION, Naruto!"
Naruto raised his shoulders,
"Or you could just take the money and be happy…?"
Sasuke snapped,
"I don't give a fuck about the money! I'm not even there for fuck's sakes!"
Naruto nodded,
"True… you're only used as marketing stunt now…"
Sasuke laughed,
"REVOLUTION it is! Muahahahah"
Naruto opened his eyes widely and almost laughed,
"That look! That laugh! The Dark Sasuke is back!"
Sasuke jerked his neck,
"Join me in my REVOLUTION, nigga!"
Naruto looked away and mumbled,
"I don't know… I get to become Hokage… it's very tempting…"
Sasuke mocked,
"Pfft! You don't work as Hokage without me, and you know it! Who are you kidding? You need me there! You'll fuck things up without me helping you!"
Naruto nodded,
"That's true! I need you by my side! It's why I risked my life to save you! You must be there so we could fix this fucked up system! You've experienced some deep shit that I don't even know of! I need that!"
Sasuke said with sharp eyes,
"I'm starting my REVOLUTION with or without you! I'm going to start by joining the anti-naruto-fandom!"
Naruto stood up and said,
"We will become enemies if I don't join you! I finally got you back on my side! I don't want to lose you again! And I don't want to lose another arm in another gay battle against you.."
Sasuke said in a firm tone,
"This shit has to stop! I'm not going to accept it! We must fight!"
Naruto said in excitement,
"I'm with you! To hell with the money! To hell with the Hinata! I want you!"
Sasuke narrowed his eyes,
"I'm going to unify all shippers! I'm going to find all the errors and reject them! I'm going to fight until the end of time! I'm not going back on this!"
Naruto made a fist and punched the air,
"Because that's my way of the ninja, and I don't go back on my fucking words!"
And so Naruto and Sasuke joined the anti-Naruto-fandom 6,6
Shit happens! Anything could happen after 700!
The End.