It was odd at first, being in command of someone who used to be her own CO. If it bothered Sergeant Aric Jorgan that she commanded him now, he never let it show after the day he was demoted. Only that once, when the sting of it was still raw, had he said I can't say I'm happy about it. Understatement of the decade, that must have been. But that was Jorgan for you. He never put himself before his duty.
Lieutenant Finnara Kinnaid sat alone on the bridge of the ship given to her for Havoc Squad. It was late. She was going through the supplies list that they would gather tomorrow morning for their next mission. They were docked in one of the many bays at the giant spaceport on Coruscant. The capitol city was even bigger and grander than she had expected. And somehow she and Jorgan had gained the attention of the higher-ups at Republic Command. It was all a bit overwhelming. After spending a couple of weeks on missions around the city, they were finally being sent to the dangerous and backwater planet of Taris. Finnara was proud to take on an important mission, but was mostly glad to be getting out of the political drama for a while. She was pretty sure Jorgan felt the same way.
She lounged with her feet up on the edge of the console. She was dressed in her casuals: a fitted tee and a soft pair of pants that gave plenty of mobility. It was nice to be out of uniform. Formal dress was a necessity when spending much time around the Senate Tower. You didn't go visiting General Garza in your casuals.
Noticing that she had been staring off into space for a good five minutes, Finnara sighed and switched off the datapad she had been working on. She wondered if Jorgan was still awake. She got up and quietly padded down the stairwell. The main room was lit only by the soft blue glow of the emergency lights. The door to the bunk room was open halfway, but the lights were off. What did you expect, Finn? She shook her head, finally turning to enter her own quarters. Just because you're feeling lonely doesn't mean you get to ruin his good night's sleep. He would need it, anyway, judging by the briefing they'd had for the upcoming mission.
When she was finally undressed and in her own bed, she lay staring at the ceiling, wondering if sleep would come tonight. She didn't seem to sleep much these days. She liked the new responsibilities of leadership, but she didn't get much time to herself. She often ended up staying awake until she had sorted out her thoughts at the end of the day.
A small part of her wished there was someone she could talk to about her worries, and about how lonely leadership really made her feel. Jorgan was the closest she had to a friend, these days. They were friendly enough, but she couldn't talk to him about her self-doubt. She was still trying to live up to his high expectations of the commander of Havoc. She knew it didn't really matter what he thought personally, because he would obey his CO no matter what. But for some absurd reason she wanted to earn his respect. She wanted him to like her.
She and Jorgan trusted one another, certainly. Every day they spent in the field together they were more in tune with each other's habits and strengths. They both had a similar desire for efficiency, and a sharp focus on their goals. As combat partners they were an excellent match.
As people that had to share the majority of their days together, however, they were purely professional. Focusing on work came easily to them both. Finnara liked it; it was something she understood. But she missed even the small amount of camaraderie that she'd had at the academy. Her bunk-mate back then was a cheerful girl named Ellie, who loved to tease her but always had her back. Ellie also always knew when Finnara was preoccupied with something, and never failed to get it out of her.
Finnara had never been good at opening up, even to Ellie, but now she missed those late-night talks with her friend. After they both graduated, Finnara had been recruited for Havoc, and Ellie assigned to a distant planet. I think it was Balmorra? I wonder how she's doing. Finnara made a mental note to check in with her sometime soon.
Finnara sighed, wondering if they would ever manage to rebuild Havoc as the elite squad it had once been. One goal at a time, Finn. They had to start by making sure Tavus and the men that had betrayed Havoc wouldn't come back to cause more trouble. The war, and her part in it, had become infinitely more complicated than she had ever imagined. The only way she knew how to get through it was by doing what she knew how to do best: stay focused and get the job done.
On it. She smiled to herself. That's what Jorgan would say.
Disclaimer: Characters and plot belong to the creators of SWTOR.