I just wanted to thank Jokerssmile for encouraging me to write this when it only started out as a conversation in my head, and also thank you for editing and fixing it for me!
We're Idiots
Why had she listened, why? Of all the people, Snow f'in White tells her that Emma is not happy as they all thought she was. As soon as Snow started talking about Hook and Emma, Regina should have stopped it right away but she didn't because she always had to know when it came to Emma.
Emma, the woman she once had hated and tried to kill, the woman who then became her friend and co-parent to Henry and now the woman she slowly but surely had fallen in love with.
Snow White told her and Granny that Emma wasn't herself lately, she didn't seem happy. She noticed that Emma never invited anyone to her house but she'd come to their house most of the time without Hook. And when he did come with her, they always tend to argue about something, and then leave.
Regina wasn't sure what to do with this information but to store it away because there was no way that Emma Swan had feelings for her like she had for Emma. Even if there was a minute chance that Emma and Hook would not stay together, she knew she could never tell Emma how she truly felt. No, she would bury those feelings as she had always done in the past with feelings and the darkness.
It had been almost two weeks since that conversation with Snow and Granny and Regina did well to bury the information and her feelings until yesterday when Emma came over and they had a wonderful afternoon learning a new spell Emma had found and afterwards had dinner and drinks. She and Emma were sitting on the sofa chatting as always when Emma fell asleep with her head in Regina's lap.
She didn't know how Emma's head got there but she was most certainly not going to move. Emma always had a look of concentration and worry on her face, she never looked fully relaxed, but here sleeping on Regina's lap, she looked so peaceful. As Emma slept, Regina tried not to but after a few minutes began running her fingers through Emma's soft blond hair.
It was about an hour when Emma woke up shocked and apologetic for falling asleep like that and promised to make it up to her their next dinner date. When they said their goodnights and Emma went home to him, Regina sat back down on the sofa and cried. All the feelings she buried resurfaced tenfold and she was back at square one.
Two days later Regina found herself walking passed Emma's house and the twinge in her gut returned. Hook had moved in two months ago which meant they were still together much to Regina's chagrin. It seemed Snow was wrong even though she was hoping Hook would do something stupid which would have him packing his bags by now. But it seems that Emma and the Pirate were meant to be and even though Regina hated it with all her being, she was just glad that Emma was happy. It's all she wants for her, happiness, and love. She only wished Emma had found it with her and not Hook.
She hadn't realized that she had stopped and was staring at the house when Emma came up to her, "Regina? Are you... um were you looking for me?" She asked with a perplexed look.
Jumping at Emma's voice Regina realized she had stopped and lost her train of thought. Looking at Emma she smiles, 'Oh I've been looking for you all of my life it seems.'
"Oh! Emma there you are, I was going to pop in then I remembered you weren't here but with Henry and I was about to message you." Regina replied as she turned towards Emma. 'About what I have no idea, good one Regina.'
"Oh? Was there something you needed?" Emma asked but made no move towards the house she shared with Killian. She knew he was in there and inviting Regina in would start something she was sure.
"Well, no not really, I just...I. Can we walk and talk?" Regina asked as she pointed towards the path leading to the waterfront.
"Yeah, yeah sure that's good I like to walk and talk."
'Christ Emma, what is wrong with you? I like to walk and talk.'
They walk towards the water and to the bench that Regina likes to think as theirs. They've had a lot of conversations here and worked out a lot of obstacles and hurdles in their relationship, their friendship.
Emma goes straight to the side she usually sits on and waits for Regina to do the same but she doesn't sit, she stands looking out into the harbour.
"Regina? Aren't you going to sit down? What was it that you wanted to talk about?" Emma asked looking up at her once arch enemy, who slowly became a friend, and was now her best friend. She doesn't know what she would do without Regina in her life now.
"I'm sorry, Emma. I...I just, I've been thinking lately and I just wanted to tell you how much I've grown fond of you and how much I enjoy our friendship. To be honest it's hard to believe that we are friends now considering the way we started out." Regina gave a little chuckle then looked down at her fidgeting hands. "So much has happened since we've met and even though things are okay now, it wasn't easy especially at the beginning and I just..." Regina paused wishing she could tell Emma the truth.
"You just what, Regina, what's going?" Emma asked about to stand up but Regina turned to face her and put her hand on her shoulder stopping her before sitting down next to her.
Sliding her hand down Emma's arm, Regina took her hand and held it tight in her lap. "Seeing us now and looking back then I wish I had been different, I wish I had been kinder to you from the very start, Emma. I'm really sorry for that, for taking so long to be your...your friend."
"Regina..." Emma starts to say.
"No please, please let me finish, Emma."
"I just wonder what things would have been like had I been nice to you or even thanked you for bringing Henry home that night instead of acting the way I had. I know I was hiding things and felt as if my world was crumbling down around me but seeing, well living through the chaos and destruction the end of the curse caused I ... I think things would have been different and maybe certain things would not have happened had I acted differently towards you."
'Maybe you wouldn't have met Hook and fell in love with me instead of him.'
"What things? Where is this all coming from Regina? Is there something you're not telling me, is something... are you okay?"
"I'm sorry, Emma. There is nothing at all wrong, and there's nothing wrong with me I'm fine. I guess I was just reflecting on my life and the past and I just felt the need to apologize to you and to thank you for being my friend, for being there when I needed you." Regina replied as she let go of Emma's hand.
Regina stood up and leaned against the wooden railing looking out towards the harbour. "Since the Evil Queen returned I feel like I'm watching myself from the outside but I'm glad that I'm not like that any longer, it does feel strange all of the time, but I wouldn't want her, that darkness inside of me again, that daily fight took so much out of me. I was always pushing the darkness back to the point of exhaustion."
Shaking her head she continued on, "I'm not sorry I cast the curse, however, I am sorry that it took you away from your parents but this land, this is where I belong. I could never go back to the Enchanted Forest; I knew that right away the morning I woke up here. The curse wasn't everything I wanted it to be but I'm glad it brought me here to this land."
Emma watched as Regina leaned against the railing. There was a little bit of a wind blowing and the sun was beginning to set and the light shone on Regina's face and she looked so beautiful, Emma had to catch her breath.
'My God she's beautiful.'
Seeing Regina like this, made her wonder what she ever saw in Hook and the feelings she's been having lately about Regina are not the kind of feelings 'friends' have for one another.
Emma stood up, walked over and stood next to her pressing her shoulder against Regina's and looked out towards the water then looked back to Regina.
"After being able to experience the Enchanted Forest, I'm glad I was sent here too. It sucked being without parents but I don't see myself as the princess type, I don't think I would have been very good at it." Emma said then looked away from Regina as she tried to control her emotions.
"You would have been a different person, Emma. You would have been a beautiful princess, and you would have grown up happy but I took that away from you and your parents and again I'm sorry."
"We don't know that Regina, we don't know if I would have been happy there. Sure it would have been different because it's all I would have known but I know me and I think I was meant to be here like you." Emma replies as she puts her hand on top of Regina's.
"I'm not angry any longer Regina, we've already discussed this and made our peace with it. Don't you remember we were drinking and…. oh yeah then again you might not remember. You sure did put it away that night." Emma recalled then chuckled.
"I remember some things not all. I blame Ruby and those strange concoctions she made. I'm surprised I didn't have alcohol poisoning that night."
"I miss Ruby; we had a lot of fun." Emma said sadly.
"Well, it's getting late." Regina commented, then taking Emma's hands in hers, "I truly am grateful for our friendship. You've been... you've been everything I've needed to help make me a better person, to make a better me. So thank you, Emma."
Letting go of her hands, Regina hugged Emma a little tighter than usual and held on a little longer than usual as well but Emma didn't mind, not at all in fact she really didn't want to let go either. But this entire conversation didn't feel right to her something was up with Regina.
"Well I should get going, Henry will be home soon and will want something to eat I'm sure. He truly did get his appetite from you." Regina quipped as she stepped back away from Emma.
"Yeah he did, but he's still a growing boy so make sure you have enough for a third or fourth helping." Emma said continuing the banter she's grown to love between the two of them.
"I always do, Emma. Thanks for the talk." Regina countered then turned and walked down the ramp back to the street.
Emma tilted her head and looked at Regina sadly, "You sound like you're leaving town."
'Leaving me.'
"What? No, Emma, no I'm not leaving town." Regina replied as she smiled.
'I'm just letting you go.'
Regina waved goodbye to Emma and then walked away from the woman she loved. Once she was out of Emma's sight, she waved her hands and arrived back at her home study. She took off her coat, went to the bar, and made herself a stiff drink which she finished in one gulp before pouring herself another.
'She's all yours pirate, you better take good care of her and make her happy.'
Emma stayed a little while longer sitting at their bench and replayed the conversation between her and Regina. It didn't make any sense to her why now? Why say all those things now? "Something is going on with her and I need to find out what." And with that, Emma got up and headed home with the plan to get something to eat and maybe check in with Henry regarding his mother.
When she arrived home, Hook was sitting in the living room impatiently waiting for her, "Emma! Where have you been? I thought you were on your way home an hour ago."
"Sorry, I met up with Regina and we went for a walk. Why, did we have plans?"
"No, we didn't have plans. Why were you with Regina, what did she want now?"
"She didn't want anything; we just went for a walk and chatted."
"It's all you two ever do; you seem to be with her a lot."
"She's my friend of course we spend time together and we work together to save this town time and time again. We share a son, don't forget that."
"Oh I never forget that, she and Henry remind me of that all the time."
"What's that suppose to mean?" Emma asked as she goes to the refrigerator.
"It means...nothing, nothing. So what did you two chat about this time?"
"What did you have planned for dinner?" Emma asked as she looked in the freezer.
"I didn't have anything planned for dinner; I was waiting for you to get back over an hour ago but you were too busy with the Queen. And you didn't answer my question, what did you and Regina talk about?"
"So, you wanted me to make something when you've been here all day doing...what exactly?" She asked then turned to him, "And not that it's any of your business we chatted about our friendship and how rocky it started out."
Hook scoffed, "I'd say it started out more than rocky."
Emma looked up quickly from the refrigerator, "Like ours started off any better."
"I helped you at the beginning and you left me with the giant." Hook replied reaching for his flask. "She's probably up to something with her twin or other her or whatever you want to call them. She always wants something from you Emma."
"YOU were working with Cora, so you weren't 'helping' me; you were gathering in-tel." Emma turned and leaned against the counter with her arms folded in front of her. "What is it with you and Regina? This resentment, hostility, what has she done to you?"
"She's the Evil Queen, Emma what hasn't she done? She may have gotten rid of her dark side but she's still evil to me."
"Oh really and you're what an angel? Of all people," Emma took a deep breath as she tried to calm herself down before she said something she would regret.
"Of all people, what, what were you going to say? Finish it Emma."
Emma didn't reply because she really didn't want to fight again tonight and about the same topic, Regina. Why did they always fight about her?
"Why do you always take her side?"
"God, I wasn't taking sides here, I was just asking why you still hate her after all she's done, all the good she has done."
"She's evil, she tore you away from your family, she brought everyone here against their will, she killed..."
"Yes and how many lives have you ruined in your lifetime, Hook? Huh? How many people have you killed looking for Gold? Where do you get off saying all of that about Regina when you did the same or even worse?
"Emma that was... that was..."
"That was what, different? Don't even go there, Hook. Don't forget that you were a part of her kidnapping and her torture. I know I'll never forget that."
"Emma, she forgave me that." Hook replied realizing Emma hasn't called him Killian but Hook.
"Did she? Did she have a choice? Henry was taken right after that and we all boarded your ship to go get him. She never had time to fully recuperate let alone get through it or forgive you for it. How dare you? How dare you ridicule her, and criticize every good thing she's done."
"Emma, why are you so angry, you know she and I have never gotten along. Why is it so different now?"
"Because she's my best friend and I would like for you two to get a long but you put her down every time she sets foot in here or when her name is mentioned. And don't think Henry hasn't noticed either. She's his mother and you should show respect at least when he's here. This is my house I should be able to have anyone I want to visit or talk about but I can't because of you!"
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I can't keep doing this. You and I, it's not working, we're not working. I thought having you move in would help but it hasn't, all we ever do is fight and I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry but this, you and I, it's over." She said, and then looked at him, "I'm really sorry Killian I don't think you should be here when I get back." and then walked out the door.
"Emma! EMMA! Wait!"
But she didn't wait, she ran down the walkway and out of sight. Killian ran after her but she was gone.
A couple of hours later, Killian was pounding on Regina's door. "Emma! Where is she? Do you have her, Queen?"
Regina swung the door open, "What the hell do you want Pirate?"
"Wh...Where's Emma? Wh...What ha...have you done with her?" He asked, his words slurred.
"Are you drunk? Emma? She was going home when I last saw her. What did you do now?" Regina asked as she folded her arms in front of her and raised her eyebrow at the man.
"She...She ran out hours a...ago and I can't find her. This is...this is your fault! You took her away from me. You're always taking her away."
"My fault, how can it be my fault I wasn't even there? This is on you, Pirate. Now get off of my porch, go home and sleep it off."
"No! I need to find her, I've looked, and she's nowhere. Is she in there?" Hook questioned as he tried to push past Regina. He then stopped and looked at her with a sneer, "I know y'know. I...I know how you fee...feel about her. I've al...ways known and you're not going to...to win. She'll stay with me I just...I just need to find her."
"You're drunk Hook, go home."
"You can't tell ME what do to Queen!"
Rolling her eyes, she waved her hand and sent the drunkard back to Emma's house. "Maybe, but I can do that, Pirate."
She grabbed her coat and waved herself to the waterfront. Walking slowly towards their bench she sees Emma sitting there bent over with her head in her hands.
"Emma? Are you all right?" Regina asked quietly as she walked a little closer trying not to startle her.
Emma quickly looked up and saw Regina standing a few feet away. She looked as if she was afraid to come any closer.
"Hey."
"Hey. Are you okay?"
"Why are you here, Regina?"
'I'm here because I love you.'
Regina shook off her inner thoughts and answered, "Because your boyfriend came to my house looking for you and was worried because he couldn't find you. I believe he thought I had something to do with it."
"Hook went to your house looking for me? What was he, drunk?"
"Yes he was. I sent him home and then came here. He said he had been looking for you all over."
"What made you come here?"
"This seems to be the place that you come to when you need time or to think, where we both come to do such things. It was the obvious place to look if someone knows you at all."
"Apparently Hook doesn't know me if he looked everywhere."
"Why are you here Emma? What happened after I left this afternoon?"
"I...we, I just...He can be an asshole and he pushed the wrong buttons when I got home and we fought again and I...I just..." Emma started but then hesitated.
Regina looked at her with concern, "Emma, what's wrong?"
"What's wrong? I should ask you that shouldn't I? What's going on with you? What was that this afternoon?"
"I was just letting you know how I felt about you and how thankful I am that you're in my life." Regina replied.
"Reginaaaa. Please be honest with me. Today felt like a farewell or something."
"Emma."
"Are you leaving Storybrooke? Please tell me you're not leaving here."
"Of course I'm not leaving Storybrooke. Why would I? Henry is here and...And,"
"Then why today, why say all those things to me today... Oh my God, are you sick?"
"No Emma, I am not sick. I'm fine I don't know why I chose today I just did. What does it matter? Can't I tell you how much I appreciate you without there being a reason?"
"Not when it's you, no."
"What's that suppose to mean?" Regina asked a little offended.
"Nothing, I'm sorry. I'm just being weird."
"No, tell me, out with it, Emma."
"It's just not you, that's all. You don't do the thank you for the friendship stuff, that's not who you are."
"That's who I used to be, I've changed, and it seems that you don't know me as well as you think you do Miss Swan."
"See, now I know something is up because you're back to the Swan thing, I hit a nerve."
Rolling her eyes at Emma, "Well that's all that it was, I saw you and told you how I fe... Anyway, now that I see that you are all right, I'm going to go home and you should go to your...pirate."
With a wave of her hands and her signature purple smoke, Regina is gone. Emma knows there's something going on so she follows.
Regina doesn't go home instead she goes to her vault and is about to go inside when Emma arrives.
"I knew you wouldn't go home."
Jumping with fright, Regina whipped around ready to send a fireball when she sees its Emma with her arms folded in front of her and her signature smirk.
"What the hell are you doing? You scared me. I could have hurt you or maybe I should have..." Regina yelled then extinguished just one of the fireballs then raised an eyebrow but changed her mind and the other fireball was gone.
"I'm just proving a point that I do know you, just like you know me, Regina and there's something that you're not telling me. I know when someone is lying. Not that you're lying but you're holding something back I can feel it."
"If I were, as you say holding something back, then I would be doing it for a reason and maybe just maybe you don't need to know."
"But I have a feeling that I should know, that you want to tell me something but you're... you're afraid?"
"Go home, Emma." Regina replied exhausted before waving her hand and disappearing through the purple smoke.
"Oh like hell I will." Emma said out loud then disappeared in her white smoke.
Henry was chugging down the stairs when he sees his mom appear in front of her study then hears something fall in her bedroom.
He stopped mid-step and looked back up the stairs, "Um hi Mom, I uhhh I think something just fell over in your room."
Then they both heard, "Oh crap." come from upstairs and Henry tried to hold back a chuckle while Regina's nostrils flared and she growled, "Emma!"
As she made her way upstairs, she stopped and gave Henry a kiss on his cheek and then frowned again as she continued to her bedroom.
Henry only shrugged his shoulders and put in his earbuds, knowing it's going to be a loud one. He then made his way to the kitchen for another snack.
"I can't believe a night of all nights she has to be a pain in my ass. She can't leave anything alone. She's worse than a Rottweiler digging for a bone." Regina muttered as she purposefully walked up the stairs thinking of ways to torture the woman who has been torturing her for years. "How I could fall in love with her I'll never know; she's annoying..."
"You're in love me?"
Regina whipped around and saw Emma standing in the doorway of Henry's room, "Wh...What are you...I thought you were in my room?"
"I...I was but I knocked over your horsy statue thing and I think I broke it so I ran into Henry's room because I figured you would appear in there with fireballs ready to fly at me."
"You broke my...fireballs would be too quick a death."
"I'm sorry. I assumed you were going to magic back to your room and I followed but I backed up into your vanity when I noticed you weren't there and knocked stuff over."
"I told you to go home which is what you should do right now."
"No way, you just said you were in love with me! I'm not leaving here until we talk."
"I said no such thing Emma. Just go home to your boyfriend please."
"I heard you Regina, you may not have meant to say those things out loud but you did and I definitely heard you say that you were in love with me."
Regina folded her arms in front of her, "I am not, Emma, please just go home."
"No, not until we talk about this."
"Emma!"
"Regina!"
"Oh my God you two, you're both in love with each other just kiss and get on with it!" Henry yelled from the bottom of the stairs before making his way up towards them.
"And Ma go home and break it off with Hook, you've regretted asking him to move in the minute you did."
"I kinda been there done that, Henry. Earlier today, I told him we were over."
"You did?"
"You did?"
Both Henry and Regina asked at the same time.
"Um yeah, I broke up with him after I got home. We were fighting as usual and I had enough."
"Cool!" Henry busted out with a fist pump.
"Henry!" Regina yelled at her son's rudeness.
"Sorry, but I'm just glad, Ma you two weren't right for each other. But you two," Henry continued, looking at both his mothers, "are right for each other so stop waiting and be together." Henry ordered then he took a bite of the sandwich he made.
Henry looked at both his moms with raised eyebrows, "Well?" Since they're just standing there looking at him with guppy faces he moved past them into his room and shut the door.
"Okay just kiss her already!" He yelled from his room and then turned up his music.
"Y...you broke up with Hook because you love me too?" Regina asked finally breaking the silence as she looked down at her fidgety hands.
"I...I uh." Emma stammered running her hand through her hair. 'What the hell just happened?'
"I uh yes I did and do, I have for a while now but wasn't sure what to do about it."
"I'm not sure what to say or do right now myself." Regina said just above a whisper clearly in shock that Emma had feelings for her.
"Well, I think that maybe we should listen to our son." Emma said with anticipation.
"Listen to our son?" Regina asked as she stepped closer to Emma.
"Yes, listen to our son." Emma replied with a smile as she stepped closer to Regina.
They stopped when they are almost nose to nose, both wanting the other to make the first move. They continued to look into the others eyes when Regina shook her head and laughed. "We're idiots."
"Yes that we are but I come by it honestly, I'm not sure what happened to you." Emma replied then leaned in to kiss Regina.
When they broke apart, Regina opened her eyes to see what Emma's reaction was, to know whether this was a mistake or not. Emma kept her eyes closed a little longer then a smile beamed across her face and she whispered, "Wow."
"Wow indeed, Miss Swan. I didn't think you had it in you." Regina quipped trying to make a joke to calm her nerves.
"Oh shut up and kiss me again, idiot." Emma ordered as she smiled at the most beautiful woman ever.
"I am not an idi..." Regina began but was stopped when Emma kissed her again. The tirade of who the true idiot was is long forgotten because Regina could care less right now with Emma kissing her again, but wait!
Regina broke the kiss. "I'll be your idiot, just don't tell your parents."
"I promise, now shush." Emma said as she pushed Regina against the wall and started kissing her. The moment was broken when Emma's stomach growled and Regina smirked against Emma's lips.
She pulled back and looked at Regina, "I'm sorry. I missed dinner."
Regina rolled her eyes at the gorgeous woman in front of her, "Go get yourself a snack."
Emma smiled then headed for the kitchen.
Regina just shook her head as she watched Emma. Her day had started out lost in thought and had ended with her finding out that the woman she'd been in love with, the woman who was now digging in her refrigerator for something to eat, shared the same feelings.
A lot of time has been wasted hiding their feelings but now they have the rest of their lives to explore one another, to share and to love. As for right now though Regina was going make the woman she loved something to eat then hopefully get back to making out like teenagers again.
She stopped abruptly in the kitchen doorway to see half the contents of her fridge on the counter and Emma taking a huge bite out of the biggest sandwich she'd ever seen.
"Do... want... make...one?" Emma asked, with her mouth full.
Anyone else she would have killed for making such a huge mess in such a short time in her kitchen, but then again this was Emma Swan, the idiot she loved.
I guess we're both idiots... She thought as she shook her head and joined Emma.