A/N:Alright, well I haven't seen any Aeon fanfictions around, well, humor ones, and I thought I might give it a shot. That and I'm working on a better sequal for OOD...yeah. I'm calling Yojimbo's dog "his dog" because I forgot his name.
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X
Yuna raised her rod, "I summon Ixion!" Ixion ran out of his electric portal. "What do you want lady! I don't have all day!" Ixion looked at the fiends before him,"You want me to deal with something as meaningless as that! Look lady, I've gotta life here, so kill it your own damn self!" Ixion just got dumped by his girlfriend, Ixioo. Yuna sighed, she'd been having problems with him lately. She raised her rod again,"I summon...Bahamut!" Bahamut flew from the sky...laughing. "Ahahaha!" He mimicked a female voice,"Sorry Ixion, it's over!" Then he continued laughing, he was there when it happened. Ixion sent a lightning bolt his way. Bahamut dodged it and glared at him,"Don't get mad me just cause you're an asstard loser!" Yuna glared at her aeons, "Okay, I summon Ifrit!" Ifrit bursted in from the ground. Then he looked at Yuna,"Hey my nizzle! What's the dealio?" Then he saw Ixion and Bahamut,"Hey my homies! What's crackin' yo?" He watched as Bahamut missed Ixion and attacked Tidus, killing him. "What the hellio?" He ran over to stop them. Yuna summoned Valefor,"Like cheya dude?" Valefor easily struck the fiend down. "So like dude, is that all?" Yuna petted Valefor's head. "Like duuuude..." Then Anima swatted Valefor away,"Why don't I get petted! Huh? HUH!" "Like dude! Chill out man!" Anima slapped Valefor,"I hate you!" He slapped him again. Valefor moved his head out of the way and punched Anima in the face. Yuna revived Tidus and looked at the scene. How the heck did Anima get out without her summoning him? Sandy walked across the scene, dragging Shiva by the hair. Shiva pulled her down, sat on her, and started punching her in the face. Then Sandy flipped over, doing the same. "Uh, guys, why are you fighting?" Cindy asked Shiva, who was now on top. "Uh, it just felt right." She said, pointing at the other five aeons fighting, then she was flipped over by Sandy. Mindy walked over to Cindy,"...You wanna catch a movie?" "...Sure." And they both walked away. Yojimbo was chasing after his dog,"Nooooo!" His dog went over, jumped on Wakka, and mauled his neck apart. Yojimbo finally caught up to him, pulled him off of Wakka, which made his dog rip Wakka's head off. "I'm so sorry Lady Yuna, it will never happen again." Then he simply walked away. Yuna had had it...
And now...
The Aeons were fired. Now they were living in their own house, making their own money, and living their own lives.Ixion, Ifrit, and Yojimbo were watching tv. Ifrit picked up a new beer bottle, one of the five he'd had. The news came on.Ixion sniffed the air,"Is something burning?" "Ifrit, weren't you cooking dinner?" Yojimbo asked. "Fo schizzle, I'm baking hamburgers yo!" "Baking hamburgers, HAMBURGERS!" Sandy said as she walked in and sat on the couch next to Yojimbo. "Fo rizzle! I like dem' burned!" "Like cheya dude, me too." Valefor said as he walked into the room and sat on a chair. Shiva, Mindy, Anima,Bahamut and Cindy were at work. Ifrit got up and went to get the food out of the oven.
'This just end, we have some new heros! Today, Lady Yuna and her gaurdians defeated an Anything Eater, using her new Aeons!' Ixion spit his soda all over the tv,"NEW AEONS!" 'Yes, new Aeons! Their names, Shivo, Mindo,Sando,Ixioo-' "IXIOO!" 'Yes, Ixioo, stop interrupting me bitch.' Yojimbo raised an eyebrow. 'Contining, Ifrio,Valefoo, Bahamuo, Cindo,Yojimbee and Animo.' "Am I imagining things, or are these our names with o's on the end?" Sandy commented. "Except me! I've got e's on the end, I'm special!" He smirked. "Asshole..." Ixion mummbled. "What was that?" "Nothing." Ifrit walked in with the burnt burgers," Dinner's ready my nizzles!" Everyone stared at the food,"...I'm ordering pizza." Sandy said. "Like dude, save some for me!" Valefor ran to the table and started eating the burgers with Ifrit.
All of the Aeons at work all burst in the living room, one by one, into the house. "Did you guys-" Mindy started,but was inturrupted by Ixion,"Yeah." They were talking about the replacement thing. "Oh...well...what's for dinner?" Nobody said anything. "He cooked again, didn't he?" Shiva asked. "Yeah, we're ordering pizza."
"So um, dude...what do we do now?" Valefor asked after dinner. "Hey, I know! Lets go chill at the club yo!" Ifrit suggested. "Rad idea bro!" Valefor agreed. "I don't have a problem with it." Yojimbo said. "Whatever."Cindy said. Soon, they all agreed. So after sneeking Mindy in with a fake ID, they all went in.
"Yo! You's one foxy lady, how about we kick it at my place?" Ifrit attemped to flirt with another aeon. She picked up the salt shaker, and tossed some salt in his eyes. "AHHHHH!" Ifrit got up from his seat and ran all around the club. He ran on the dance floor and knocked Shiva and Valefor over. Sandy was at a table, drinking with Yojimbo. "So he said...buggers!" And they both started laughing, it was obvious they were drunk. Ixion was drinking by himself. Cindy was talking with Anima and Bahamut. "Hey, aren't you the Aeons that got fired?" Another small Aeon asked them. They didn't say anything. all the sudden, news reporters flooded in. "Hey, is it true that Ixion and Ixioo used to date?" Ixion looked at the reporters,"And so what if they did!" The news reporters crowded around him."Is it true she dumped you?" "Shut the hell up." Ixion was almost through making a full recovery, but now, they were just pissing him off. " Is it true she's dating Ifrio now?" Ixion snapped. "Ifrio?IFRIO!" Because Ifrio wasn't there, he charged for Ifrit. Ifrit waved at him,"Wassup G?" Ixion sent a surge of lightning at him. Most of the Aeons ran out of the bar. "Like dude, that is so totally not rad." Valefor watched from the side. Bahamut started laughing at Ixion again. Ixion sent lightning at him. "Don't get mad at me because you're an asstard loser!" And he went after Ixion. "Wanna catch a movie?" "...Sure." Mindy and Cindy walked out of the bar. Shiva slapped Sandy and Sandy grabbed Shiva by the hair and dragged her off. "Nooooo!" He tried to get his dog. His dog jumped at the bartender and started mauling his neck. Yojimbo grabbed his dog and yanked him off, which snapped the bartender's head off. Yojimbo bowed to security,"I'm sorry, it'll never happen again." "Dude...I think I remember this.."Valefor said to himself.
After getting kicked out of the bar, the Aeons went home. It was silent until the news came on, "This just end-"Shiva turned the tv off. "Later dudes, I'm going to surf the Z's." Valefor said as he walked to his room. "Goodnights" rang the air. Soon, it was just Yojimbo, Ixion, and Ifrit, watching a movie and drinking some beers. Ixion sniffed the air,"Is something burning?" "I thought you were making popcorn." Yojimbo said to Ifrit. "Fo schizzle, I like it burned!" Yojimbo sighed,"I bid you farewell friends." He went into his room. Ifrit went into the kitchen to get his popcorn,"Don't be sippin' on the haterade! Just cause I cook better than you doesn't mean you-" Ixion just got up and left. "Oh come on, don't play me like dis'!" He took the bag of popcorn with him to the couch,"Fine, it just means there's more for me."
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- Rainisky