Anyway, this is about Arima's point of view on Chapter 24 of the Manga, right when he came back from Summer Vacation.
Read on!
Disclaimers Applied. Kare Kano does not belong to me.
Melting the Ice
Nobody can write the perfect romance story.
No writer in this world is talented enough to invoke emotions as magical as one person feels when in love. No amount of words, no matter how good a writer is at manipulating them, could describe what a person really goes through upon finding his own love story.
Because when you find your one true love, no other romance story, yes, even the best in the world, could ever compare, because what you are feeling are real, honest – yours.
I've found my one true love, and yet, contrary to the overrated love often portrayed in novels, songs and movies, instead of the usual thrill I feel when I'm with her, here I am, feeling concerned to the point of worry.
"Why do you look so tired today?" I asked her as soon as the waitress was out of earshot.
"Huh?" she looked at me in surprise.
I shrugged. "You just seem so quiet," I continued and looked at her closely for any sign of sickness. We could have postponed the date easily had she mentioned she was a bit out of the weather. "Are you not feeling well?"
"Huh?" she continued to look at me, though I noticed she became a little uncomfortable. "That's not it."
When she started fidgeting, I knew she was hiding something from me. She had always been like that, so I looked at her expectantly, willing her to continue.
"That's not really why I…uh…because I –"
She suddenly gasped as her cheeks flooded with color when the waitress appeared with our food.
But then the waitress left and still, she refused to talk to me. Not only that, she wouldn't look at me either, and was contented with toying with her food.
I tried staring at her, to catch her eye, but she insisted on not looking at me, not knowing her actions were hurting me.
No words were again exchanged even after we paid the bill and rode the train to go home. I was simply leading the way and she was just following me.
And yet, after walking for a block or so, I turned to her and, "Why are you trying to avoid me?"
Surprise and pain etched in your face as you gathered enough courage to look at me in the eye. "Trying to avoid you? That's not true!" she denied vehemently.
My sad smile was the only indication that I did not believe her. I've always been able to tell if she was lying or not. "You won't say anything and you won't look at me in the eyes. Did I do something wrong?"
"…no…"
"Yesterday, you were still happy. Why?" I asked as I reached out to touch her face. However, when she cringed, my eyes widened as I withdrew my hand. Was it repulsion that made her cringe at the prospect of me touching her?
Rejection.
She must have realized what she'd done for her eyes suddenly widened with shock, her previously pale face now filled with color. "Ah…I'm sorry…" she stammered, eyes filling with tears.
Before I realize what she intended to do, she'd turned around and ran away. From me.
I've always thought that living the way I did, having parents like that, I would get used to not being accepted by everybody, especially my so-called relatives. I would be numb enough to not feel any pain of being refused at.
And yet, when she gave off the slightest sign of rejection, it was only then did I feel this numbing pain, it was as if my body was doused with ice cold water, and yet all I can do is shiver from the cold, bear the icy feeling creeping up my being, and realize just how cruel fate could be.
I didn't know what happened, I continued on, walking with no destination in mind, resembling a man not knowing the reason of his existence, and in a way, I am that man.
It was underneath the highway when I spotted her walking towards my direction. I guess she was as surprised that when she intended to leave me behind, I was suddenly in front of her.
Anger like I've never felt before crept up my body, and not being able to control the sudden surge of emotions I was feeling from being numb with pain, I dragged her unceremoniously until I pinned her against the wall.
I was too hurt to care that even if I was frightening her with the angry glint in my eyes, I refused to do anything about it. "I will not leave you. Even if you avoid me, or hate me, I don't care!"
She looked at me in surprise, tears filling up her eyes, but she refused to say anything.
"Do you know how long I've waited to be with you? Even if it was difficult, no matter how painful it was. But I've never ever had any thoughts of giving you up. Never!" I blurted out, appearing to be the forceful one, and yet inside, my heart was down on my knees, begging for her to not leave me. To accept me.
The tears that's been welling up in her eyes and threatening to fall suddenly cascaded down her cheeks as she reached out to touch my cheek, wiping tears that I didn't know escaped from my own eyes. Then pulling me close to her as she stood on tiptoe so that she can rest her chin on my shoulders. "Please," she whispered in my ears, "you don't have to say anything."
She let go of me and looked at her shoes, then softly said, "I'm sorry for scaring you. Actually, I'm not avoiding you."
A sharp intake of breath.
"I didn't want to touch you today, because I'm very embarrassed. I can't look at you in the eye because I didn't know what to do. After being apart from you for awhile, then seeing you again, I realized that I love you more than ever, that when you are close to me, my heart starts pounding so hard…"
She looked up at me and smiled, the crinkling of her eyes made her spill more tears. "Arima, I love you more than before," she said louder this time, then pulled my head and put her lips on mine.
It was a short and simple kiss. Not like the others we've shared before. And yet, it was so powerful that the numbness that's been threatening to take over my body disappeared. Melting the ice. For amidst the lack of passion in that kiss, it was filled with intense emotions so innocent and so pure.
I pulled her close and whispered, "I'm so happy."
Indeed, nobody can write the perfect romance story.
No writer in this world is talented enough to invoke emotions as magical as one person feels when in love. No amount of words, no matter how good a writer is at manipulating them, could describe what a person really goes through upon finding his own love story.
Because right at that moment, with her being in my arms, I knew, nobody, not even myself, even if I try to write it down, can translate into words how I feel.
Any attempt would only result to an understatement.
owari
"I want to walk side by side with you… " Shela (Let Me Be With You)
Author's Note: It's been quite a while since I've written a fiction and I don't really know if I've rusted up a bit. Anyway, I've been planning to write this down for quite a long while. Reviews are appreciated!
This is dedicated to…right…hehe…