A ridiculous prompt jokingly made by oblivionscribe at tumblr.

"Let's make camp over there."

The sun was still fairly high above the horizon – there was no reason they should stop to make camp so early during the day. Zevran craned his head back to look at his Warden, his eyes sweeping over the lovely woman quickly for signs of injuries. She seemed fine physically, but he could see the darkness lurking in her eyes, the weary droop of her shoulders hinting at the frustrations she must be carrying.

"Ah, the itch has returned, I see." He chuckled and wiggled his eyebrows as she guided her horse off the path towards a small clearing they could see beyond the trees. Are you alright?

"I'm fine, Zev." She grunted distractedly, as Zevran followed her off the trail with Barkspawn, pulling on the reins of his hart. She always somehow easily discerned the words that he never quite seemed able to speak out loud. "I just feel like resting for today."

"Just can't get enough of me, my dear Warden? Such is the burden I must bear." He sighed theatrically, keeping his eyes trained onto his Warden, watching for any sign of discomfort. His Warden's been getting disheartened and depressed over the time they'd spent on this search for the cure for Calling. Each passing day seemed to take a little piece of his Warden away from her, and Zevran feared for what would be left of his love. You're not fine, are you?

"Practically a public menace, Zev. We should post warnings about you at every village we pass." She dismounted smoothly, dropping gracefully on to the ground and petted her horse. "You're excessively suggestive today. Something the matter?"

"You simply look so… grim. Such an unflattering expression for such a beautiful face." Zevran dismounted as well, bending over to pet Barkspawn who yipped in agreement. "You cannot fault me for trying."

"I'm fine, Zev." She replied automatically, with the same words she always responded with, while pulling the bedrolls and tents off from her horse. Zevran didn't believe her – he knew her far too well. His eyes traced the tight tension held in her stiff shoulders. "Thank you for cheering me up. I'll see to the horses and set up camp. Why don't you go hunt for our dinner?" His Warden started to unfurl their tents, and Zevran considered a moment before nodding. Perhaps some time alone would do her good.

"Come, my smelly four legged friend. Let us hope your stench doesn't frighten away all of our potential dinner, hmm?"

Barkspawn whined disapprovingly, as he followed deeper into the forest. "Haha, I know my friend. Extra advantage over those pesky assassins and bandits, yes?" Zevran chuckled as he unslung his bow from his back. He crept quietly through the forest, his leather boots making barely a whisper of noise over the soft grassy earth.

Barkspawn padded away from him, sniffing the ground for a scent-trail for rabbits and fennecs. As luck would have it, he picked up a fresh scent quickly, and Zevran smiled. He'd be able to return to his Warden soon. He ran lightly after the dog, whipping past the branches and bushes. His sharp ears picked up the sound of rushing water – they must be nearing a stream.

He burst out from undergrowth, and saw Barkspawn rounding the rabbits by the water, making them run straight for him. With practiced ease, he smoothly raised his bow, drew it, and released an arrow. It pierced right through the eye of first rabbit, and he drew back for the second one. The second arrow also found its mark. Slowly, he lowered the bow as Barkspawn ran up to him, barking happily.

"Nice work, my friend. Ah look how plump they are. We shall feast tonight!"

Barkspawn turned, and raced towards the stream as he bent down to collect his arrows. He picked up the fat rabbits, and ambled towards the huge wardog splashing in the stream.

"Having fun?" He chuckled, moving to upper stream to refill his waterskin, when his eyes settled on something strange.

They were plants – maybe. They were green at least, like all those other plants. Shrubbery growing close to the ground, clustered together to form an emerald mass. But each stalk was growing… cocks. On top of the shrubbery mass hung dozens of phalluses, in varying sizes and color, all of them fully erect.

"What in the Void…"

Zevran walked over and crouched down, tentatively poking at the strange cocks growing on the shrubbery. It was cold to the touch, though the texture and hardness was remarkably similar to the real ones. He noticed some of the small ones still had flower petals hanging by the base – and surmised that these cocks must be fruits. Chuckling, he plucked a white one and examined it curiously. Barkspawn noticed him and padded over, dripping water with every step.

"What do you think, my friend?" Zevran watched as the dog sniffed it, and gave it a long lick. Well it certainly wasn't poisonous if Barkspawn was comfortable with licking it. As he watched Barkspawn playing with the fruits, a wicked thought began to form in his mind. He winced as Barkspawn broke the white one he'd plucked in half, and lapped up at the white creamy contents. Sweet aroma wound softly around him, and with a smile, he searched for one that was similar in size and color with… well, him. He hoped his Warden would enjoy these sinful thoughts now plaguing his mind, enough to distract her from the troubles she insisted on carrying.

Solona stared into the fire, watching the light dance atop the logs. The firewood burst open with a crack, the flames engulfing it. Flames licked it clean, until nothing but ash remained. Would she be like that too? Would the Blight course through her veins unchecked, until nothing remained of her but the poisonous taint? It's nearly been three years since she set out to find the cure for the Calling, chasing after one misty clue after another. She hadn't made a single breakthrough since. Even Morrigan's source turned out to be a disappointment.

She sighed miserably, shifting a little. At least the dinner was good. The rabbits Zevran had brought back were so fattened up that there was enough for Barkspawn as well. She tossed the remaining bones to Barkspawn, brooding. She was brooding. She never brooded.

"My dear Warden, such a frightening scowl does not befit you. Take a moment, enjoy what you can, while you can." Zev finished his own share, and cleaned his hands on a cloth.

"I'm not brooding." She grumbled, and Zevran arched his eyebrows.

"Truly? My, you've had me completely fooled."

She dropped her head onto her arms, berating herself. "I'm sorry, Zev. Just… it's been too long." She mumbled into her arms, and Zevran stepped silently over to her.

"I understand, my Warden. You're not so used to… delayed gratification." He stroked her hair for a few minutes, allowing her to gather herself again. His touch strengthened her, and his unwavering devotion for her allowed her to pick herself up every morning, to continue on this quest that was most likely doomed to fail. He reminded her of the times when boisterous laughter flowed freely around the campfire, when everything seemed possible with precious companions journeyed with her, despite the impossible odds stocked against her.

Despite all of her failures during this quest, a smile twitched at her lips, her spirits once again soaring. She grinned at Zev, and saw his eyes soften. "How do you make everything sound so dirty?"

"Ah, my dear Warden. It's a talent."

She laughed, as he bent down to kiss her. His warm lips brushed against hers lightly, almost chastely so, and she sighed happily. Zevran's had a talent for cheering her up, even from the darkest moods.

"Well, my beautiful Warden." Zev started, with that particular tone, and she could hear Barkspawn shuffling further away from the camp with a whine that sounded suspiciously like a groan. "shall we continue this inside the tent?" He practically purred.

Solona squirmed under his suggestive gaze, at how his lips quirked up in a knowing grin. She couldn't help but squeeze her thighs together, feeling the warmth blossoming at her core.

"Practically a public menace." She muttered under her breath, even as she took his hand and stood up. Zev just threw her that cheeky grin, and carefully led her back to their tent.

Once inside, Solona released her magic a little to warm up the atmosphere while Zevran moved to free them from the armors. She watched greedily as his swift fingers made short work of the many buckles holding their gears in place. How he made something so mundane look so deliciously sensual, she did not know.

Once they were both bereft of clothing, he lowered her down on to the bedrolls. She shivered silently, awaiting his touch. Would he rub her breasts? Kiss her lips softly? Trail his fingers up her legs? But to her surprise, he didn't do any of that. Instead, Zev began at her hair, his long fingers undoing the braids that kept her locks in place. He combed through it, each stroke releasing tension from her scalp.

She sighed, relaxing into his comforting embrace. His thumbs rubbed against her neck, each brushing touch, each firm pressure traveling lower and lower. His lips nibbled on the nape of her neck, warm, feathery light on her heated skin.

"Zev…" She breathed out, wanting him, needing him. She needed his hands elsewhere, away from her hair, from her back. She needed to feel his hands inside her.

She pushed forward, pressing him down on to the bedroll. He complied with an amused chuckle, pulling her down with him. He kissed her then, on the mouth, filled to the brim with his love for her.

She laughed, knowing that she was important. Knowing that she was precious to someone, just as she held many close to her heart. Zevran loved her, just as she loved him.

She grinned, knowing he could see her, and turned around. Feeling around with her hands, she grasped him, and pulled him into her mouth. He took in a sharp breath in response, and she smiled. She gave him a long lick, delighted at the way he shuddered beneath her. She gave him another lick, and another one, giggling softly around a full mouth.

But he quickly silenced her smug chuckles, sliding his fingers in, his tongue finding the tight bundle of nerves that begged for his touch. She let out a helpless whine, gripping and pumping him as he slid his Maker-gifted fingers smoothly in and out of her.

"Simply delicious." He murmured into her, his hot breath making her pulse shoot up. She moaned and ground herself on to his mouth, his tongue unraveling her.

"Are you ready, mi amor?" He chuckled at her, knowing full well she was. Solona whimpered, doing her best to remember him inside her mouth, her nectar flowing freely.

That was when he pressed something cold against her opening.

She jerked, surprised at the unexpected sensation. He was in her mouth, so what in Andraste's tits was he coating with her juices? She stiffened momentarily as she felt him tugging at that tight ring of muscle, gently coaxing it open until something burrowed its way deep inside of her.

Whatever it was, it felt good. She bucked hard, his mouth still working on her pearl, his hand pushing whatever that was into her bottom. He kept up a steady rhythm, in and out, in and out, and soon had her mewling and begging atop him.

She sucked and pumped, matching his pace with her mouth. His hand gripped her hips tightly, holding her in place as he built the pressure rising inside her to a breaking point. She cried and moaned, her limbs shaking with the effort of keeping herself upright.

"Cum for me, my Warden." His voice caressed her, and she fell over the edge as he bid. He buried himself deep within her throat, silencing her desperate cries.

She rode through the violent waves of her orgasm, until he pulled out of her.

"Zev," She panted, but he simply pulled her up, turning her around, and plunged deep inside her.

She gasped, gripping his arms tightly. She felt so full, so full, with Zevran inside her. She moaned wantonly, as he kneaded her tight nipples. She shook her hips, riding him hard and fast. She arched, throwing her head back as he slammed into her again and again, murmuring soft praises and endearments.

She looked to him. She wanted to see him, who filled her up with love and adoration when she felt so empty, so hollow. He was staring back at her, with eyes so sincere she ached. His usual glib manner was nowhere to be found, and in its place remained dedication and love so genuine that she could not help but accept the truth. He cared for her, and would do anything, anything, to make her happy, to keep her safe.

She bent down, kissing him with adoration. Her tongue explored his sweet-open mouth, her lips trailing along his sharp jawline. He never let up the demanding pace, thrusting inside her with rapid strokes. His arms encircled around her to hold her tightly, enveloping her in a warm protective hug. She moaned for him, knowing nothing in this world but him. Knowing nothing but the pleasure and happiness he granted her.

"Zev, I love you." She sobbed out, as he brought her closer and closer to another orgasm. She did not tell him that often enough.

"I know, my dear Warden. And I you, mi amor." He smiled back at her, dazzlingly handsome. She shattered then, screaming out her pleasure for the world to hear. So that all may know how he cherished her.

He followed her into the mindless oblivion, spilling himself deep inside her with a shout. He tightened his hold of her, pulling her even closer, their bare skin rubbing against each other. His unrelenting pace slowed and slowed until they were simply hugging each other, basking in one another's presence. She kissed him languidly, content and pleased, until she finally remembered something.

"Zev, what in Maker's balls did you ram up my ass?"