Tigger and Eeyore in: Christopher Robbin' Dat Ass

As Eeyore sat in the cold void of his own crippling depression, he wondered at what point the Grim Reaper would take pity on him and remove his soul from this plane of existence. He had attempted suicide 3 times that day.
"I don't understand why this God makes me suffer...what did I do to deserve this screaming in my heart, the torment of my soul? Why do I insist on stealing oxygen so much more needed for people that actually matter... I just want Christopher to come out of his coma already."
As he sighed and stared out of the window, Tigger kicked down the door to their desolate apartment, drunk and with 3 women hanging off his arms.
"Ay little nigga, have all you been doing since I be gone is sitting there sighing out that window doing nothing? Man, I couldn't ever be about that life, Tigger always gotta be pouncing that puss, you dig?" Tigger slurred under breath tinged by whiskey. "You gotta get out of the house man, I'm sure there's some fine honies out there who would love to get...somma dat ass."
Eeyore just groaned, rolled his eyes and reaverted his gaze to what was clouding his mind. "I just want the voices to stop, Tigger. I don't think you understand how much they crush my spirit."
"Nah man, we just need to get you laid. You gotta learn to pounce that puss like your main man Tigger."- Tigger retorted. "Now, I know you ain't gay. I know you've had your eye on a couple of these fine chicas. Don't deny it."
"Well...You're not wrong, Tigger...I guess. Part of me wants to die, part of me wants to fuck as much as Rabbit does on a lazy Sunday." Eeyore mumbled.
Tigger then throws him a bag of white power. "Okay, well see, first of all I need you to snort this dust. It's the good kinda dust. One may say it would even make you feel...like an angel." Tigger then gave a sly smirk to Eeyore.