Hello! MagicalBender here! I'm back once again with a one-shot I wrote in the middle of the night. Thankfully, I have an amazing beta that caught all my sleep-hazed mistakes (and not sleep hazed ones). I am working on a Multi-Chapter Fic; but meanwhile, have feels over this. Thank you! Remember, criticism is welcomed!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own anything A:TLA related whatsoever!
"You're Here Now"
Summary: Cards are on the table; tea table actually. It hurts knowing he didn't give them a chance. LoK timeline. Inspired by prompt "Tea."
There were more turtlesduck chicks this year than previous years, the ex-Firelord mused. His golden eyes fell on another three chicks that appeared from behind the cattails, following their mother. Thirteen. There were thirteen this year. How odd.
Zuko shook his head. No, not odd, a good sign.
He was currently sitting, by himself, legs crossed, inside his beloved mother's garden. He's been in the exact same position countless of times.
Zuko closed his eyes, and saw the night of his coronation. The festivities filling the night sky with it's sounds, lights, and excitement. He smiled as he let the memories continue flowing. He closed them again. This time, he saw guards at almost every corner of the garden, meant for his protection after the first assassination attempt on his life. He frowned. Not a good memory. He searched for a better memory. He smiled. He could almost see his daughter taking her first steps, as she attempted to catch a turtleduck. He tried one more time. Aang was still with them. Everyone came to the Fire Nation for a reunion. It was to be their last one.
Zuko inhaled deeply. As he exhaled, he tried to release the pain of losing his friends to the breeze gently flowing through the garden. It was still hard some days, remembering that they were all gone.
The sound of feet shuffling caught, Zuko's ears. He might have been old, but his instincts were still sharp.
"My Lord," the small voice of a maid spoke up. "She has arrived."
Zuko's heart dropped to his stomach.
Well, not all of them.
She was waiting, kneeling in front of the tea table, when he entered the ceremonial tearoom.
She looked up. A genuine smile brightens her older features, and the sparkle in her eyes that seemed ageless.
"Zuko," Katara said happily.
"Hi Katara," Zuko says softly. Before he could protest her from getting up, Katara's arms were around him.
Zuko smiled and hugged her back. It really had been too long.
After a moment, they let go. They held hands and looked at each other, seeing how time had changed the other.
"How long has it been?" Zuko asked. Katara snorted.
"Too long. I don't want to know the exact number, or else I'll be forced to think about my age again." Katara said dryly.
"You don't look so bad," Zuko blurted out. Agni, he never seemed to outgrow his awkwardness around her.
Katara laughed, glad that time had not changed Zuko way with women
"Come on. Iroh told me you know how to make tea now."
"Who do you think taught him?"
She laughed again. He smiled.
It was going well. Zuko prepared the tea. He served it. They drank and they talked.
They talked so much.
There's a lot to say. They talked of happy things, of sad things, of great moments, and bad ones. About spouses, children, grandchildren, and extended family.
However, he wasn't prepared for the question.
"What?" Zuko stopped mid-drink to see if he heard Katara right.
Katara turned her head towards the window. She held her cup between her hands a little tighter. After a sip, she looked at Zuko again. He was waiting. Anxiously, it seemed. She hated to put him in such a difficult position; but she just had to know.
"Why," she repeated gently, "Did you lie to me?"
Zuko placed his cup down. He couldn't look at her. Images of the worst night of his life began resurfacing.
"Do you love me?!"
"No."
Zuko put a hand over his eyes. Guilt began washing over him. Regret taking a grip over his entire being.
He had lied.
'You had to!' Zuko's mind tried to reason with him.
Her sapphire eyes filling with tears. Her steps as she ran out of his office. His cries of anguish that filled the hallways the moment he was alone. Her sudden departure the next day. Letters going unanswered. Two years later, he received a wedding invitation. A year after that, he sent his.
Oh, the whole thing was twisted.
Katara sat patiently, as the similar memories began flooding her mind.
Zuko then looked up to Katara, and saw her serene expression. He straightened himself. She deserved to know, now.
"Do you remember the rebel group, Phoenix Loyalists?" Zuko asked. Katara was taken aback by the question, wondering what it had to do with them.
"Yes," Katara decided to answer, to see where he went with it. "I remember them. Aang told me about them more after we were married. Since we didn't talk much during that time." He cleared his throat.
"Well, I'm sure Aang told you that we couldn't find or locate them for almost ten years. They were the ones who carried out fourteen out of the 25 assassination attempts," Zuko paused. "They didn't stop with just me. They attempted to poison Uncle a few times as well. I wasn't the only one in danger, but everyone close to me."
Zuko hesitated for a minute, watching Katara take in the information. She seemed to be in deep thought for a while.
"That's it?" Katara looked back at him. "Was my safety really the only concern you had? Do you not remember that I was, and still am, a master waterbender? I could have taken care of myself."
Damn. She caught on much too quickly. Zuko hated to go in deeper. He wasn't sure she was going to like what she heard.
"I didn't think you would be happy...here" he almost mumbled. At her expression, he added, "in the palace. Being Fire Lady isn't easy. I was afraid the duties here would keep you from doing the things that you loved. You are too spirited to be kept in a cage Katara, even a gilded one. I've felt trapped here far too often. It was one of the main reasons I could never visit any of you for long periods of time. I didn't want that for you."
Katara looked pensive at that point. It was legitimate enough. Yet, she sighed and looked at him again.
"Why, Zuko? Why didn't you ask me about it? Don't you think me 'spirited' enough to perhaps even change the role of the Fire Lady?"
Zuko had thought about it. Mai followed the rules much too strictly at times.
"Zuko," Katara held his hand. Zuko squeezed it, refusing to look her in the eye for the onslaught of emotions that would be triggered
"Why did you tell me no?"
I wasn't good enough for you.
"I wasn't going to make you happy, Katara" he finally said aloud. His deepest fear was at last out in the open. "You…you were much too good to stay in this Agni-forsaken land with me. I couldn't ask you to sacrifice anything for me. My position would have kept you back from seeing our friends and your family. Aang made you happy, didn't he?"
He hoped to hear a confirmation. When she didn't say anything, he continued anyway.
"Aang was meant for you, Katara. Not me. It was never me. I would have failed you as a husband; Mai even told me so before she died. I was literally married to my work; to my country. I had to do it alone, but you didn't need to be burdened by it."
Before he said another word, Katara slid her hand out of his grasp. She moved her body away from him. Zuko's heart broke into a million pieces.
"Why didn't you let me decide? How would you know that? Why didn't you even give us a chance?"
She abruptly stood up. He followed in suit. She faced Zuko, and his heart broke again. Tears. He made her cry again.
"I loved Aang," she said resolutely. "I love the life I lived with him. I love our children. I don't regret nor would I change any part of my life."
"That's good," Zuko said in relief. "Neither do I, as long as you were happy."
Katara faced the door.
"I never said that."
Katara laid in the overstuffed bed. She couldn't sleep. Her back couldn't take it anymore. Maybe it was because she wasn't tired. Her head kept replaying what Zuko said.
Frantic knocking brought her back to the present. As quick as her old legs could take her, she opened the door.
"My Lady," a servant bowed three times, with a perturbed look on her face. Before Katara could even ask, the maid said hurriedly.
"It's the Firelord's father. He's dying."
"His heart is failing." Katara heard the royal physician declare as she entered Zuko's chamber. "Where is his daughter, the Firelord?"
"She's currently overseas," a manservant explained. Katara quickly made her way to the bed, as servants scurried all over the room. The physician noticed her.
"I'm sorry, but who are you? Only family may be present at this hour."
"Step aside or I will freeze you to the wall" Katara said so calmly, the doctor thought he heard wrong.
"Dr. Haoi, this is Water bending master Katara. She's one of his majesty's oldest friends."
Katara saw Zuko ashened skin. She out her hand on his heart, feeling the slow heart beat. There was nothing she could do.
He really was dying.
"Zuko," she called. "Zuko, come on. You're not gone yet. You have to hold out for your daughter, or Iroh. You can't leave them yet."
She saw his eyes open gradually. He searched for her hand. When he found it, he fastened his hold.
"It's time," he said hoarsely. The servants looked at each other. The Firelord nor the Prince was there! Who would stay with him in his last moments?
"Katara will be here to witness my spirit leave my body," Zuko declared. Even on his deathbed, Katara never ceased to admire his confidence as the source of authority.
The servants did not question him after. The physician looked curiously at them before he closed the door.
"Katara," Zuko began to struggle to talk. "I need…"
"Relax," she told him. "Whatever you need I'll get it for you."
"No, " he protested. He coughed, and said "I need to tell you this now."
He attempted to sit up, while Katara accommodated the pillows. He held her hand again, and smile at her. It was now or never.
"Katara of the Southern Water Tribe," Zuko began. "I love you. I promise you, that I will always you. I know you're mad at me," Katara tried to interrupt but he held up his hand. So she let him continue, "but you know me by now. I always have the best intentions, yet they always seem to fall short. I'm sorry that you weren't happy. I know I wasn't without you being at my side."
He violently began coughing. Katara brought water to him, but he refused to drink it. Katara refused to shed tears now. They were coming down her face anyway. She held his hand up to her lips. He smiled.
"Well, at least you're here now." He said, his throat raspy.
"I love you too, Zuko" Katara finally said as well. "I'll always be here."
His eyes glassed over.
She died a month later.
Many say she died so soon after the Firelord's death, because she couldn't handle the thought of being alone. She was the last living remnant of the Hundred Year war. Her husband, brother, and friends were all gone. The idea surprised people, because she was always so strong.
Yet, they never considered a very real possibility. The physician that had been there the night Zuko died, claimed he knew why Master Katara had died so soon after his death.
"They loved each other," he would say "tell me, why else would a person die of a heartbreak?"
I am a SUCKER for sad fics *sigh*
Leave me a review and tell me what you think!
-MB