A Thousand Years
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Misao's POV
Heart beats fast, colours and promises...
It was a rainy afternoon in November 1884. The sun was hidden behind the grey clouds and thunderous storm. The sky was meaningless and dull; there were no single shade of colours that radiates happiness, just a pouring rain of loneliness. Sitting in my room while polishing the new set of kunais Jiya had given me for my 21st birthday, I suddenly thought of Aoshi-sama. He was still in the temple, meditating... What else was new? He never forgives himself for not protecting our four precious friends, those four people who remained loyal to him until their last breath… He was still lost in the guilt for trying to kill Jiya, the idea that his blood has been in his hands made him angry at his own self more… Lastly, he was still sorry for saying those harsh words I received from him… that I must get out of his sight. Yes, it is truly painful like a pain from a dagger that stung within me. However, it has been five years since all of those terrible things had happened, Himura had saved him by convincing that he was a really good man at heart, Jiya had forgiven him for what he have done, Oniwabanshuu welcomed him to his home again…
But Aoshi-sama, his soul was already forgiven and yet, his heart is still locked away…
How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
I tried to get his love, his attention. These past five years, Aoshi-sama have shown many improvements from the tragedies that happened. It was a pleasant feeling that he let me joined to help Himura in search of Kaoru-san. And I still cannot forget the day after visiting the four tombs, he smiled at me like the days in my childhood and whispered "Thank you…" Those acts were almost impossible for a cold and stoic Shinomori Aoshi. All the times I spend with him in the temple, watching him meditates, as he let me talked about everything is a treasure but still, there is one thing that is missing…
Love. All I felt for him is just an unrequited love. How can I love another man when he was the only one who occupies my mind and heart?
But watching you stand alone... All of my doubt... Suddenly goes away somehow...
It will be a good thing to see him today in Zen temple. After all, it has been awhile I joined him meditating because Aoiya has kept me busy these past few days. My feet now found itself standing near the temple's door with two umbrellas in my bare hands, his back facing at me. I'm sure Aoshi-sama knows my presence; he is sharp as ever – a better Okashira than I am.
One step closer…
I slid the shoji door open and wore my best smile as he quickly looked at my coming presence…
"What are you doing here, Misao?" Aoshi-sama said. So this is what will he say to me? Does he even appreciate the fact that I brought umbrella for him? Does he even remembered that today is my birthday? Does he even want to see me… just for today?
"Aoshi-sama... I just want to bring this umbrella. You know, I'm worried." I blurted out in straight words while placing the two umbrellas on the wooden floor. In return, his ice blue eyes stared at me as he nodded.
"Aa." He said.
Aa? I'm used to hear those usual word from him but why he wouldn't just greet me for my birthday and say a simple 'Thank you' as a gratitude?
I have died every day waiting for you…
I found myself running and crying away from him. This is very unusual behaviour of me. Why couldn't he see that I love him? Why does he still see me as a child? After searching him in whole Japan five years ago, after trying so hard to get his smile, after everything I did for him, I know that he only see me as the child he helped to raised. He will be 31 in January and yesterday, I became a 21-year-old woman. 10 years of age apart taught me in love it never really matter. But I was completely fool. Loving a man with a mask that conceals emotions was really painful.
Darlin' don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years... I'll love you for a thousand more...
Aoshi-sama was an idiot.
Aoshi's POV
Misao was running away from me and crying. I was wondering if I told her anything wrong. I followed her even the rain pours hard and the umbrellas she brought with her were now forgotten on the temple's floor. She ran fast but I tried to catch up with her. I am very sure she was heading to the Oniwabanshuu;s secret hiding place. Memories of past has brought me back again. This is where I told her that I never want to see her face again. Yes, all those words were completely a lie. I'm just trying to protect her – from me.
Time stands still beauty in all she is...
But then – I realised that I am a blind man after all. She grew up from an innocent child to a beautiful woman. Battousai was right; she was no longer a child anymore. Time quickly passed and someday a man in her age will make her smile stay. God only knows who will be the man she will marry. He will surely be lucky. After all, I know that I always hurt her because I cannot return the feelings she held for me. But am I ready to see the sight of her with another man? Happy in his arms, giving him the smile she used to give it to me. Am I an idiot ignoring the fact that she loved me?
I will be brave I will not let anything take away…
After the fight with Shishio, I distant myself from the rest of Oniwabanshuu. Most members doesn't even try to disturb me, after all, I am still the leader of this group. But Misao… she… she never gave up for me. Although the jokes she made have a little effect on me, her cheerfulness is what makes me happy. Until I fell in love with her too… My soul was tainted with dirt and I cannot bear myself to soil hers that was very pure and clean. She is too good for me…
What's standing in front of me...
She stopped running away. Her face frown, and even if the rain hides her tears, I know she was crying.
Every breath, every hour has come to this...
"Misao" I said. Her name is the only thing I could say.
I can't let this pride rule me. My body goes to its own accord, reaching for her...
One step closer...
Misao's POV
Things weren't right. Who can blame me for not crying?
I have died every day waiting for you…
The sound of raindrops may be loud but I can also hear a faint sound of footsteps combine with it…
Darlin' don't be afraid, I have loved you for a Thousand years… I'll love you for a thousand more...
Footsteps?
And all along I believed I would find you...
Does Aoshi-sama followed me? Does it mean he cares?
Does it mean I really matter to him?
I put all effort to face him and surprise that our faces were now inches apart. His eyes were calm and sincere; it was looking straight at mine. The mask, which conceals his emotions, was now cracked. He was confused. I can feel it. But confused from what?
Time has brought your heart to me...
His hand reached my face as I saw my reflection in his eyes, with love, guilt and happiness.
I have loved you for a thousand years... I'll love you for a thousand more...
He slowly wiped the tears he saw in my cheeks and locked me in his warm embrace. He slowly kissed me under the cold rainfall. This was Aoshi-sama, my very first kiss... My first love since I was a child.
End