Heya, lifeless geeks. :p
Edward sighed. It was a good day. Nothing to bother him, other than the gaggles of women staring at his gorgeous, diamond-powder-encrusted chest and glorious, chiseled 12-pack. And Bella massaging his feet.
CRASH!
Edward sat up, somewhat befuddled by the appearence of a shirtless, muscle-bound, blonde elf in front of him. The elf raised a stake and grinned.
"Legolas, bitch," he said, and stabbed Edward in the heart.
Yes. That's it. All of it. Why'd I write it? For shits and giggles. My shits and giggles, not yours.