The Dating Goes On

By Shadowgate

…...

Kyle and Bluecap were at Stark's Pond holding hands. Stan was also there. While Bluecap and Kyle had already established their relationship they agreed to have a meeting with Stan.

Stan said "Bluecap first of all I hear your real name is Brad Dixon."

Bluecap replied "that's right."

Stan went on to say "second of all as you know Kyle has been my best friend since preschool. Now that you know that you know that I can't deny what's obviously right in front of me, that being your relationship with Kyle is a true bond."

Bluecap exclaimed "hell yeah!" as he kissed Kyle on the cheek.

Stan went on to say "the two of you know what you want and it's awesome that you're doing what you want weather Cartman likes it or not."

Kyle exclaimed "damn straight!"

Bluecap and Kyle then hugged and kissed.

Stan also brought up the fact that Counselor Mackey had planned an intervention for Cartman since Cartman loves to make fun of other children to the point everyone hates him. Kyle told Stan that he firmly believed Cartman was beyond rehabilitation.

Stan expected to hear that answer from Kyle.

Someone shouted 'BOO!' and they all turned to see Heidi Turner waving a 'God hates Gays' sign.

''O yeah I forgot to mention.'' Bluecap began. ''Heidi Turner had a crush on me but she's super pissed off because I'm dating Kyle now.''

Then Wendy came running into Stark's pond after her new pet rabbit who escaped from his cage. He saw the boys and leaped onto Kyle's leg and started humping away much to the boys shock.

The next day outside the school at 3:15PM Stan caught up with everyone. They met on the playground to talk.

Stan said he now believes everyone should go to that intervention.

''I don't know, I'm still angry at fat bitch for insulting my man.'' Bluecap said firmly.

Kyle noticed Stan was behaving odd and asked him if he'd been drinking. Kenny got pissed off and yelled "AGAIN?"

''Um … No you see …'' Stan began and then noticed Lola and panicked.

Lola took advantage and asked "You holding out on us Stan?"

Lola opened Stan's jacket and took the bottle. She drank a big gulp until the bottle was empty.

''That's the 3rd time this week bitch!'' Stan yelled at Lola.

Kevin was in shock and he said "damn that girl sure can drink."

Lola was now wobbly and said "where the fuck is my man?"

Stan yelled "THAT'S MY FUCKING STOTCH!"

Lola yelled back "I GOT YOUR STOTCH AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BACK PLUS YOU CAN'T HAVE MY MAN EITHER!"

Lola grabbed Kevin and started kissing him passionately as Red started going 'boo' repeatedly but everyone ignored her.

Wendy grabbed Stan and said "you may have stolen my man's scotch but you'll never steal my man so I'm glad you're happy with your man."

''YOU FUCKING DRUNK!'' Stan yelled. ''DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO TRICK MY DAD INTO BUYING THAT STUFF FOR ME WITHOUT MY MOM FINDING OUT!?''

Bebe said "I miss Clyde. If Craig wasn't dating Kenny he'd be dating Clyde I'm sure of it. Two of the boys I've dated have turned gay."

Bebe starts crying but Stan cuts in and says "I'm the one who should be crying I was going to mix a coke with that scotch."

Craig looked to the ground feeling guilty whilst Kenny then pulled Bebe into a supportive hug. ''Don't worry Bebe lots of straight guys still want to date, heck I'll even help set up a blind date style show for you if that helps?''

Bebe wipes away her tears and hugs Kenny back to say thank you as Craig pats her on the back as he felt guilty for sort of making her upset.

''You had coke? What the hell Stan?'' Lola screamed at him.

While Lola was still holding the bottle Mister Garrison noticed and walked over to her. He said "Lola you drunk little tramp you're coming to the principal's office."

Lola smashes the bottle over Mister Garrison's head who screams ''GAH!'' as blood started to pour out.

Kevin is in shock and starts to cry.

"Lola what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Wendy said "the fact she'd smash a bottle over someone's head proves she's got a bad case of alcoholism."

Bebe interjected. ''Is it because of what happened to her best friend Jenny? They were pretty close until the move.''

Mister Garrison grabs Lola's arm and takes her to the office.

Kevin called out "I don't want to date an under-age drinker. I'm done with you."

After that he ran home crying.

Lola yelled "KEVIN!"

Kevin hung outside of Raisins crying throughout the weekend.

Stan and Wendy tried to talk to him but he wouldn't have it. All he kept saying to people was ''Live long and go fuck yourselves!'' He was taking the revelation that his sweet, kind, cheerleader girlfriend was a very aggressive drunk.

On Monday Counselor Mackey called Stan, Kyle, Wendy, and Kenny to his office.

He wanted to talk to them about the intervention for Cartman and mentioned that only Butters had shown up. He said "I know Cartman does lots of bad things and demonstrates immaturity but when the whole school essentially hates one student then authority figures have to step in."

Kyle said "well Mister Mackey we don't hate him because he's overweight and stupid. We hate him because he does horrible shit to us and cares nothing for other people."

Kenny exclaimed "Goddamn right!"

Mister Mackey replied "Kenny now let's watch the language in school. I'm going to call Eric Cartman into my office and we can all have a talk with him about his behavior and maybe everyone can start to get along with him better."

Kyle stated "we'll talk to him but we won't love him."

''Not like how we love boys right Kyle?'' Kenny joked.

Stan pointed out "my girlfriend and just recently Kyle's boyfriend have both beat the living daylights out of him."

''Everyone took turns beating him up just before Bluecap did.'' Kenny pointed out.

Mister Mackey stated "I have printed out 90 pages of information as to why Kyle hates Eric Cartman and that's just for Kyle. I've not even printed papers regarding other students hatred for him."

Stan said "there's been more than one occasion where we've gotten Cartman out of life threatening situations so I don't think we need an intervention. If Cartman does something wrong we can punish him ourselves."

Mister Mackey was taken a back by this and he said "umm kay."

Kyle said "you should get Kevin into your office. He and Lola just broke up."

Wendy said "Lola got her 21 year old neighbor to buy her three bottles of scotch by letting him kiss her in a few places or that's the rumor at least."

Stan and Kyle giggled and Mister Mackey was alarmed.

''Dude that's not funny, she's really hurting over Jenny's suicide but she so depressed she can't see the good thing she has with Kevin.'' Kenny angrily pointed out to the pair.

''I guess she could have stolen it plus I thought you'd be more sympathy considering the asperger's incident Stan'' Wendy pointed out.

Stan lowered his head in shame.

15 minutes later Mister Mackey called Kevin and Lola into his office.

Red walks by the window and shouts ''BOO!'', Kevin responds with ''Fuck off Red!'' and flips her off.

Mister Mackey said "Lola you were caught drinking on school property and a punishment is pending. Furthermore Kevin is very upset and I must say the two of you make a great couple so it'd be sad to see you both break up over this. Too much alcohol can lead to problems."

Lola responded smiling "You're right Mister Mackey and this bottle is empty now."

Lola angrily smashes the bottle over Mister Mackey's head. She was getting sick of people saying she had a drinking problem.

Mister Mackey then hit the intercom button and said "umkay I'm bleeding now, someone help me with the blood, umkay. It's pretty bad umkay ..." and then faints.

Kevin yelled "LOLA YOU'RE A DISGUSTING FUCKING CRIMINAL. YOU SHOULD BE IN JUVENILE HALL BITCH!"

Kevin stormed out.

Wendy and Stan asked how it went and Kevin said Lola broke a scotch bottle over Mister Mackey's head.

Wendy said in shock "that's twice now."

''What a waste of good scotch.'' Stan commented licking his lips.

They all went back to class.

At lunch time Lola said "Kevin I'm going to have three weeks of in school suspension for assaulting Mister Mackey and Mister Garrison and I admit I deserve it."

Kevin said "oh good for you and we're not lovers anymore because I don't need a crazy drunk bitch for a girlfriend."

Lola said "we broke up when I was drunk? At least that's what I heard in the hallways."

Kevin said "you were so drunk you don't remember us breaking up?"

Cartman was observing everything and he laughed his ass off.

"Oh what a shame you two love birds have broken up."

Lola pulled out a scotch bottle and busted it over Cartman's head.

Lola said "that's my last scotch bottle I'm done drinking."

''Holy crap that was a full bottle!'' Stan pointed out in shock.

Wendy said "well the third time you broke a bottle over someone's head made for your best target. Third time's the charm as they say."

Kevin said "oh Lola you broke that full bottle of scotch over Cartman's head when he was making fun of us. Essentially you did it for me."

Lola asked "are we getting back together now?"

Kevin said "'we're back together now."

They both hugged and kissed.

Bluecap yelled "HEY FAT BITCH YOU KNOW YOU'RE COVERED IN SCOTCH!"

Cartman replied "no shit Sherlock."

Bluecap then said "no you don't say no shit you say 'I'm a fat bitch and I got a scotch bottle busted over my head."

Cartman replied "I don't think so."

Bluecap asked "do you want me to come over there?"

Bluecap started pulling up his sleeves and immediately Cartman said "I'm a fat bitch and I got a bottle of scotch busted over my head."

All of the other kids in the hallway laughed and took pictures or made recordings to post on youtube.

Bluecap stated "that's a good boy now go to nurse's office to get yourself cleaned up and bandaged."

Cartman took off angry vowing revenge.

THE END