Disclaimer: I sadly do not own anything to do with Primeval.
A/N: It's been so long! Literally had zero time for anything other than school work. Anyway, this idea came from one of my favourite songs ever. I hope you enjoy!
All Time Low – A Daydream Away
You're just a daydream away,
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you.
So I'll keep you a daydream away,
Just watch from a safe place, so I never have to lose.
_x_X_x_
Connor watched from his vantage point on the second floor of their flat, sitting on the ledge, legs dangling down and elbows resting on the wooden frame. This was his favourite place to sit in the flat, he could see almost everything from here and he often came here to relax and unwind. Actually, his most favourite place to sit was next to Abby on the sofa on one of their movie nights. The nights when she would absently curl up around him and lean her head onto his shoulder whilst reaching across him to grab handfuls of toffee popcorn – her favourite movie snack. The nights when Connor would forget about everything, just for the duration of the movie, and focus all of his attentions on Abby. The way her hair smelled of apples, the way she'd smile at the cute parts, laugh at the funny parts and almost cry at the sad parts. The way she'd fall asleep against him on some occasions and he'd silently move so as not to disturb her, before wrapping her up in a blanket to make sure she didn't get cold. And maybe sometimes he'd kiss her forehead goodnight…so what? She wasn't awake, she'd never know. Even though part of him wished she'd wake up, smile at him and kiss him back, properly. Wishful thinking right?
Connor blinked and shook his head to focus again. She was always in his thoughts, no matter how hard he tried to stop it. He'd catch himself daydreaming about her several times a day. That was part of the reason he was sat up in the rafters right now. The object of his thoughts was down below, laughing and smiling to herself as she moved around the flat tending to her scaly brood, whilst Rex balanced precariously on her shoulder, tail wrapped loosely around her neck. Connor found his eyes following her wherever she moved, a smile covering his face slowly. This was part of the reason he loved her so mu… he stopped himself quickly once more. It had been two weeks since the Mer creature incident, since he'd thought he'd lost her to the watery depths, since he'd held her hand so tightly he'd left bruises and since he'd blurted out his biggest secret in the world. He loved her. Okay, so maybe it wasn't such a big secret, everyone on the team seemed to know, everyone apart from her. That was up until he'd admitted it to her in his blind panic when his brain was foggy with fear. Maybe it wouldn't have been all that bad, maybe if he'd have been a man and stood there before her and repeated his words, and not took the first easy exit that came to him, running off with Caroline. He mentally kicked himself.
Beside him, his mobile vibrated along the floor, startling him from his thoughts. He looked down to see the lit-up screen, a name printed across it in bold letters: CAROLINE. Speak of the devil. Another text and another text he would ignore. He switched the phone off all together and put it in his pocket before he went back to watching Abby, who was oblivious to his train of thought, and oblivious to the fact that he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. He wondered how things would be if he had repeated his words, if he had not run off with Caroline. He wondered if they would be indulging in more movie nights like they used to before Caroline showed up, or would they be sitting around just talking normally, just like they used to. He hated how awkward it had become between them, even though they both tried acting as if nothing had happened. Connor couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not. She moved around below him, and he watched as she pressed play on her iPod and music started blaring out from the speakers. He watched as she started dancing, her smile and her giggles carefree and contagious. He still watched even when she caught his eye and smiled to him, a smile that twisted his heart and made his breathing pattern jump. A smile that dragged a smile from his lips as well. He continued to watch even when she stuck her hand out and beckoned him to join her, Rex chirping happily along to the beat of the music. His feet were moving with a mind of their own and soon he was up, and walking down the stairs to join her and laugh and smile with her as if nothing was wrong and nothing in the world could ruin their moment.
So maybe it was a good thing, how they were now. Deep down he knew that Abby needed someone who would always be there for her, who would stick up for her in any situation, who would protect her to the grave. He knew she needed a hero, a strong man who wouldn't run at the first sign of trouble, someone more like Stephen than him. And maybe he could do all of those things just as well as any other man could, but he knew he would never be able to get the courage to act on the feelings that made his heart beat faster every time he looked at her. He knew that if he had Abby as his, he would do something to mess things up, just like he always did, and he'd lose her, as a best friend and more. And he couldn't bear that. So maybe this was okay. Maybe it was okay for him to just be her best friend, someone she could trust and laugh with. He'd still never leave her and still never lose her. Maybe it was okay for him to come up to this spot and daydream. Daydream about how things could have been, should have been, and would have been if he hadn't have been so cowardly and could get the courage to act on his feelings. Daydream about things he would do if Abby was ever his to hold and treasure. Daydream about the jokes they shared and the fun they had together over the past 2 years. Daydream about his Abby.
Daydreaming couldn't hurt, and this way he would never, ever lose her. And somehow, that made it all okay.
The End