Not Another Crappy Legolas Romance Fic! Chapter 1: The Entrance, a lord of the rings fanfic

Not Another Crappy Legolas Romance Fic! Episode One

by Chibi-Gollum

A/N: A parody of all those crappy Legolas Romance Fics. You know.

Disclaimer: LotR me no owny.

~*~*~*~*~

"Fine!" yelled Christalina to her parents as she stomped upstairs to her room. Christalina was a gorgeous 16-year old girl. Like mahogany wood, rich and beautiful was her long straight hair. Her football-shaped periwinkle eyes were filled with tears. She was wearing an extremely tight yellow tanktop and black pants.

Christalina flopped down on her bed. "Why won't my parents let me go to a movie?!" she said angrily. She rolled over and fell off her bed, and to her surprise, through a warp-hole in her floor.

"I really don't think that was there yesterday," she said. "Oh well."

~*~*~*~*~

It was a fine day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the air smelled like warm root beer, and the Fellowship of the Ring was walking through a field of sunflowers.

"My keen Elvish Senses have picked up a distress signal," said Legolas.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"I don't hear anything," said Aragorn.

"Wait… wait, no… I think I hear it," Pippin remarked.

"I hear it too," said Sam.

"Yes, indeed… It sounds like a cry of fear and despair," commented Legolas casually.

"Another one?" sighed Frodo.

"Yes," said Boromir, who is inexplicably NOT DEAD, "I think I DID hear something."

"Let us go investigate," said Legolas.

~*~*~*~*~

A/N: You like? Review, pleez. Or I shall hunt you down and kill you. Heeheehee.