"Moods"
It had been a long day. The weather was unbearable, cold and wet, such a bad combination for my old wounds. I could feel a sharp pain in my leg and shoulder just whenever I had to take a step. This "weakness" has always been a shame for me.
I am physically what can be defined a strong and handsome man. After my return to London, I spent most of the day at my consulting room and the rest at our home, helping the most famous detective of London on his cases. I still can catch the attention of the ladies when I go out or walk along London's streets with my roommate, Sherlock Holmes. That fact never cease to amuse me and makes my friend a little jealous, although he would never admit it.
Lately, since our choice to have a family, he has became my shadow. He tries not to show it but he worries about my health and my well-being, feeling guilty (or so I see in his eyes when it happens) if I am just a little cold or tired. He fusses over me like dear Mrs. Hudson does, but he does not want to appear anxious or nervous, and I am trying to make him more comfortable about the whole situation, even if I often fail in my purpose.
That evening, as I entered the main door at our address, I found two pairs of concerned eyes looking at me like I had grown a second head.
"What does this mean?" I asked, growing uncomfortable at their worried faces. I had a very long day and the long and painful walk to home didn't do any good to my temper. They looked at each other, unsure how to proceed, and I started feeling anxious about what kind of bad news had been delivered and they had to tell me.
"Holmes, would you please tell me what is going on?" I added.
Without a single word in answer, I was literally carried up to the living room upstairs by the mad man and placed on the couch like I was a very precious doll that you fear to broke in one million pieces, while Mrs. Hudson took my bag and my coat and put them in my room.
"Holmes!" I was almost shouting at him! "Put me down, I am perfectly capable of walking a few steps! Holmes!".
He just sighed, hugging me and holding onto me, like I am going to disappear.
I wanted to cry out or laugh at his strange behaviohur, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I managed to calm down and waited until my roommate released me from his embrace.
He sat on the couch next to me and, when he spoke, his voice was just a whisper. But it was clear enough for me to listen what the man had to say.
"Lestrade was here a few hours ago, said he went to your consulting room but you weren't there… "
My mind was beginning to register what the poor man had thought while I was away. I let him speak.
"You didn't say where you were going and it was late in the afternoon . I thought…" He paused and got up from the couch and started pacing the room like a possessed man. Then he turned to me an angry look, but only for a second, because when he talked again I could see only pain and disbelief in his eyes. "God! Watson, do you know… Do you have any idea what you made me going through? I thought I have lost you!" he was almost shouting at me and I let him, he needed to let all the emotions running free after having had a terrible day. I would have done the same. "What the devil do you think you were doing? Pushing you so far? You are supposed to take it easy, not to go alone in the dark without a word. Now don't look at me like I am acting a major drama, it was me that stayed here all afternoon wondering about you… and you clearly don't know what time is it, otherwise you would not look at me that way!"
I was astonished by his outburst and could not find my voice to reply, seeing the most clever and famous detective in London on the verge of tears. That made me feel uncomfortable, because I was the reason for he was hurting right now. But still I didn't know what time was it (Holmes was right). I had a glance at the clock and yelped in surprise and shock finding out it was almost 10 in the night. No wonder my friend was so terribly angry at me!
For he was calmer now, and sat next to me again. He took my hands in his trembling ones and spoke again. And again I was at loss for words, so I waited for him to continue. "John, please, don't do that again!". The anger was gone and I could see now how much he cared for me, for us! How much he loved me! Sometimes I think I don't deserve him! I tried to reassure him as best as I can. "What were you thinking?" he asked then. His voice was soft and gentle. He was still clutching my hand. Someway, I could find my voice to answer him. " I swear, Holmes, I didn't know it was so late. I had to visit a patient just a few blocks far from my office and it seemed to me a great occasion to have a little walk. I needed some fresh air anyway. Then, when I was finished, I thought I could come back home without calling a cab. The night was cold and wet, yes, but I enjoyed my previous walk so I decided to go on foot. I was wrong" I admited with a weary smile to my friend, "because after a while my leg started to ache and I was only half way home. I wanted to call a cab then, but I could not find one. Sometimes I paused on my way, so to let my leg to rest. I guess it took me much more time than usual to come home. I am really sorry Holmes!"
"My dear Watson, I am so glad you are here! You scared me to death today, please don't do that again." He simply stated, to end the argument.
"Forgive me if I made you worry!" I said. I felt tears in my eyes, and I turned my head away from him. I didn't want him to see me crying. I suppose the pregnancy was affecting me in many ways: the persistent pain in my back, the fact that I easily got tired and the nauseas. But what I regretted more is that I often felt like crying without any reasons.
"Of course I do, my dear fellow! So, tell me, are you two hungry?" he placed a gentle hand on my stomach again, and I felt so safe and loved that, despite my effort, a single tear run down my cheek. Holmes gently brushed it away with his long fingers. "Mrs. Hudson made what you should define a wonderful soup, if you want to try…" he said.
"I can try, Holmes, but I'm not sure it will stay down for long. But I guess I cannot pretend to solve the nausea problem simply by stop eating, so… " I answered with a weary smile.
"I'll go call Mrs. Hudson!" he disappeared down the stairs and returned after a few minutes with the landlady, who was carrying a tray with a delicious soup and toast with butter. The good lady knew me very well and did her best to please me. While I was consuming my late dinner, Holmes pretended to be busy with some sort of research and left me quiet. When I was finished, I sat near the fireplace (I was a little cold) wondering what the man was doing; after some minutes, he sat in the other armchair next to me with a smile and announced me that his research was finished and now he knew.
"You know what exactly, Holmes?" I asked him.
"I thought you have guessed by now Watson!" he replied, with amusement.
"I am sorry, I have no idea what you're speaking about!"
"Well, I am more than happy to inform you that I have made many researches in these days and now I know, without any doubts, the sex of our creature! Oh, I can see my little boy hanging around with his little hands and those eyes… " he sighed and look at me.
"I am sorry to inform you, detective, that no one knows about the sex of the babies before their birth. It is just impossible to physicians to determine it. But I am sure it will be a SHE, Holmes." We performed this game before (arguing about nonsense!) and, as usual, we didn't come to any logical conclusions, but we both loved these kind of situations.
After a short while, the soup took his revenge on me and I had to leave the fireplace to empty my stomach. Holmes was more than kind to me, offering comfort while I waited for the nausea to pass and then helping me to undress and going to bed. The nausea and the long day made me feel exhausted. The warm of the bed and the loving look on Holmes face was the best way to end a day, even if not a perfect day for what I had dome to him.
"Will you stay here for a while?" I found myself asking.
"Where else do I have to go, my dear? It is in my bed you are sleeping in, after all!" he kissed me lightly on my forehead. "You had a long day, now close your eyes and get some sleep."
I think I fell asleep in less than five minutes holding Holmes hand.
I was carrying Holmes' baby. Life was beautiful.