Disclaimer: Alucard is MINEEEEE! My own! My Precious!... Well, no, he's not, and cutting the Gollum style out, neither is anything from Hellsing, they belong to Kouta Hirano.
Sequel to "Just a Dream", but can be unsterstood without reading the other one.
Also, this fanfic was inspired by Taylor's Swift song "Your Face". And is a PipxSeras, ten years after the Nazi attack. I also used a part of a Britney Spears's song called "Where Are You Now"
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Seras just lay on her coffin and cried, she hadn't had a good day's sleep in the past ten years. Not since the night Pip Bernadotte had died. She had cried so often for the French's luck. Now she used the radio on the small table near her coffin to muffle the sound of her cries, to keep everyone to come and check on her.
She focused herself on memorizing and analyzing the lyrics of every song in order to keep herself from thinking about him.
It had worked out well, until that song had started to play…
Calling out your name
Your face is everywhere
I'm reaching out to you
To find that you're no there
The lyrics had stung her like a knife straight through her heart.
Yet, that was only another foolish girl singing about the love she had lost. About how much she had loved that boy that now she just couldn't help but see his face in everywhere she looked.
Seras knew that feeling just too well, the first few months after Pip's passing she had seen him on every corner, every hallway, at the barracks. Everywhere where they'd had a moment together, or a simple memory.
But those memories had started to fade away slowly, now she started the feel more than ever the loneliness of her beloved not being there. If she looked anywhere he just wasn't there, and if she closed her eyes she'd had no way of being certain she'd see her brave captain again.
She didn't want his face to slowly fade away in time, she didn't want to wake up one night in many years to find out she could barely remember him, the love of her life, or rather no-life, lost somewhere in time. She didn't want to turn her back on all those memories of the short time they had together.
She wasn't afraid of the pain heartache brought, because for a heart to be broken means it must have loved at some point. She wasn't afraid of hurting over the love she'd felt for him and had been taken away from her, she didn't want to forget his face the first time she realized she loved him.
From her point of view in the coffin, she could see him, a drawing they'd gotten from a street artist in Brazil. The man had just given a few coins to the artist on a random street and asked him to draw them together.
Pip had just hugged from behind and placed his head on her shoulder as they posed for the picture. Now she came to think about it, it was really well done. The strands of hair falling the same way they did that day, the soft blush creeping up her cheeks, the smoke of his cigar.
It had become one of her most treasured possessions, the one she wanted less to lose. A picture she hoped would walk with her for a long time, that she just turned to looked at it some year in the future and finding missing, not even knowing when it had fell.
She didn't want to lose those gigantic butterflies in her stomach she gotten whenever he would look at her in the eye, every time she remembered the first and last kiss.
And she couldn't help but wonder: Who was truly him? Where he was now? Besides a part of his soul being locked in her, where was her captain? Did she ever truly know him? Sometimes he'd felt like just a dream she'd had.
Seras didn't want time to keep running, she didn't want to eventually forget him. She wanted Pip to be more than the ghost of a memory. To wake up and look behind and find out she had lost him over time, forgot him and send him to the abysm of nothing. It would be like facing his death again, and losing her remnants of humanity all over again.
She wasn't scared of loving him like the first day, she sincerely wasn't, since not everyone had the luck of ever loving like that. And she, a cursed, damned creature rejected by God, had been blessed to have love and being loved with such intensity. So night after night she just hanged on to the memory of his face.
Seras laughed bitterly, listening to the song once more.
That goofy girl shouldn't be complaining about seeing her love everywhere, since Seras couldn't. If only the Draculina could have the same luck.
To see Pip in the starry skies above her, see his eyes looking at her through the infinity of the ocean, to sense his lips on hers every time she walked under the moonlight.
Yet, that would be nothing compared to what would have been having Pip again in her arms.
She didn't want him to die. She didn't want any of the disasters created by that crazy fat psychotic war addicted man to happen. So many lives were lost or ruined that night. Some of the Geese had had children, lovers, wives. And she had had Pip.
They would have had made such an amazing life together had he not been ripped away from her.
Perhaps if she hadn't been a vampire, life would have found a way for them to meet. To get married and have tons and tons of beautiful perfectly human innocent babies. But what "would have happened" didn't exist. She was a vampire, he was mercenary, and they both had been forced to fight that stupid war and he had died, his last gift to her: his whole being.
"But Mignonette, I'm here. I'm still here with you" his voice whispered in her head, and Seras felt like his two strong arms embraced her tightly. But it wasn't his physical presence.
Tears continued to roll down her cheeks as she allowed herself be surrounded by what was left of his essence. "I love you, Pip" she whispered, as she slowly drifted to sleep.
She would always meet him there, in her dreams… yet, that never seemed to be enough.
His face slowly fading in memory, and her always turning her back on the memories of that night, even when she didn0t really want to.
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So… tell me what you think.
Was it good? Bad? Or what? Please review