Hey guys. So I can't take full credit for this idea actually. Browniesarethebest actually suggested a few stories to me and this was the one that as we talked kept sticking into my mind. Constructive criticism is welcomed. All flames will be used to burn wood at my camp. I hope you all like it, even I"m a bit apprehensive about it. I can never get the dialogue right for the characters. Oh well. Tell me what you think.

Oh, before I forget, this is obviously a multichapter fic and I'm not going to try and imitate Chekov's accent, that's just insulting the Russians and I'm not going to try it.

Disclaimer: Nope don't own them never will, too bad too. I'd have fun.

James T. Kirk bolts upright in his bed panting heavily as he grips the sheets around him. He takes a deep breath trying to steady his heart rate and breathing but finding it difficult. He closes his eyes drawing a deep breath as he brings his legs up to his chest. He rests his forehead on his knees letting out a choked sob. His finger grip the back of his head as he tries to deal with the horrors he dreamed of again. The time it takes for Jim to calm down is too much. He shoves his sheets to the side as he tosses his legs over the side of the bed. He sits there for a moment before running a hand through his hair while glancing at the clock. He has five hours until his shift on the bridge.

"I'm never up this early," Jim mutters standing up from his bed not even bothering to make it. The Captain of the Enterprise just goes to his bathroom and gets ready for his shower. The heat of the water burns him some but it wasn't anything Jim wasn't accustomed to. He leans against the shower wall running his fingers through his hair as he let the water wash down his back. The dream he had just had comes back to him as he stands there. He moves his face into the water letting it wash across his tired face before turning the shower off and finishing his normal morning routine.

With nothing else to do, Jim grabs his P.A.D.D. from his desk and walks out of his quarters in his uniform. He heads for the mess hall intent on eating something before going on duty. He scrolls through his incoming messages from various ship personnel as well as skims the highlights of his daily paperwork duty. He sends half of the paperwork to where it should be going instead of directly to the Captain. He didn't have time for a bunch of paperwork that wasn't even his in the first place. He notices a message from an old friend, Thomas Leighton. He opens up the letter after taking a seat in the mess hall.

Dear Jim,

I heard what you did for Starfleet, the San Francisco stuff. They make you out to be a great hero Jim. You're more than what even they know. I'm married now Jim, Martha's wonderful. You should come meet her sometime. I told her all about you, she thanks you for keeping me alive long enough to meet her.

Listen Jim, I know you're doing your best to forget what happened there but I got a message from one of the others the other day. It was Eleanor Molson, remember her blond kid about four foot? She recently saw a theater production, she swears that the leading man was the Governor. I know they said he's dead but they never confirmed it Jim. I don't know, maybe you could take a look into it and get back with me. If there really is something about the guy that's off then I'll file the report about it but you, me, and Kev remember the best. I just don't want to raise the alarm over nothing.

In other news Jim, heard you got a five year mission. Doesn't surprise me much. I hope you have a lot of fun on the mission. If you're ever in the region swing by Planet Q. I'm sure your crew would love shore leave here. It's a fairly nice planet Jim. Oh, I was contacted by your brother the other week. He couldn't catch you before the Enterprise left and every time he tried to send a message to you it gets returned. I'm attaching his new residence. He'd like to hear from you Jim. He misses you.

Jim be safe. I hope to see you around the galaxy one day.

Sincerely,

Doctor Thomas Leighton (Tommy)

Jim sighs softly and looks at the routing information to get a message to his brother. He hadn't really talked to Sam for a while, not since Sam left. He opens the routing information up and starts a letter to his brother. He talks about everything from his health to his reoccurring nightmares and how he wished he had some of their mom's special nightmare cures on the ship. He finished the letter off telling Sam that he looked forward to talking with him soon and that the time for ignoring family was done.

Jim finishes his meal with three hours before shift. He continues onto his paperwork working silently in the deserted mess hall. No one was really around at the moment but Jim couldn't blame them it was five in the morning after all. Most of the crew doesn't get up until closer to six or seven depending on who they were.

"Captain," a familiar voice next to Jim says. Jim turns looking up at his first officer who has a perplexed look on his face.

"Yes Mr. Spock?" Jim inquires.

"What are you doing up so early, Captain?" Spock inquires as he sits down across the table from his captain.

"Couldn't sleep," Jim replies. "Came down for breakfast and to work on paperwork." Jim glances at the time on his P.A.D.D. and notices it is about the time that Spock gets up in the morning.

"If you had trouble sleeping, Jim," Spock says slipping into the more off duty talk that the pair had started to engage in within the past few months, "you should have gone to sickbay for a sedative perhaps."

"And worry Bones? No I don't think so. It's just a case of nightmares Spock, nothing I can't handle," Jim insists. He looks down at his P.A.D.D. again before shutting it off in frustration. He runs his hand across his face rubbing his eyes. He didn't hear Spock get up but he did hear the glass being set in front of him. He looks up to see both Spock and Uhura now at the table and Uhura's hand moving away from a glass of a warm liquid. He looks at it. "What's this?"

"A drink that will help you ease some tension Captain," Uhura replies. "My mother used to give it to me when I was having a bad day." Jim stares at the cup for a minute before picking it up and taking a sip. The tension melts from his face almost instantly.

"Thank you," Jim says when he looks back up at her. Uhura smiles and nods. Then McCoy walked in.

"Jim, you look like hell," McCoy comments walking over with his breakfast. "Nightmares?" Jim nods some and McCoy glances at the cup. "Well Uhura's cure should keep you over for a while."

"You're not mad I didn't come to you?" Jim inquires.

"Jim I was your roommate at the academy, I know how bad your nightmares are. I also know that me getting upset over it isn't going to help," McCoy counters. Jim nods softly in thanks.

"Captain," Sulu says walking up to the table causing Jim to look up at him. "Sir, Admiral Barnett is on for you in the ready room sir." Jim nods and heads for his ready room with the P.A.D.D. and the cup in his hand.

It takes a few minutes for Jim to reach the ready room. He sits down at the desk and moves the monitor to face him. "Admiral," Jim says sipping his drink.

"Surprised you're up this early Kirk," Barnett comments. "Need you to take a shuttle down to a planet and pick up a few survivors from a crash. Small vessel, four survivors. We're sending another ship for the wreckage and bodies but the survivors need treatment in the meantime. Old academy friend of yours, John Mattson. I figure you and one of your medical crew can go down and get them."

"Sure thing Admiral. Planet?"

"Already sent to your P.A.D.D. Kirk. Oh and Kirk, you look like hell son, get some sleep later," Barnett orders.

"If only it were that simple sir," Jim replies dryly. "Have a good day Admiral."

"You too Kirk." Jim sighs softly before going out onto the bridge. He walks up to the on duty navigator.

"Set a course for these coordinates," Jim orders. "I'll be back before shift's end."

"Yes sir. Warp factor?"

"Just punch it," Jim replies as he walks away. He goes back to the mess hall where the rest of his senior staff are. "Bones."

"Yeah Jim?" McCoy looks up at the Captain.

"I need one of your medical lackeys to be ready for a shuttle mission. We're headed to go pick up some survivors. Don't know why it's a shuttle mission but I'm not about to question it either. And no you can't come," Jim mutters.

"I'll send along one of the minor doctors. He'll be ready," McCoy promises.

"Thanks. I'll be on the bridge." Jim walks back out of the room glancing at his P.A.D.D. as he did to see the time. He has about twenty minutes until the end of the early morning shift so he might as well just go assume command. He plops down into the command chair spinning around in the seat a bit bored. "A milk run, how boring. Navigator, time till arrival?"

"Two hours sir," the ensign in the chair replies. Jim sighs and goes back to his paperwork. He doesn't even notice the shift change.

"Captain," Chekov says causing Jim to look up from his P.A.D.D., "we are in standard orbit around the planet sir."

"Very good Mr. Chekov. Mr. Spock you have the conn. I'm going to go down to the planet. Sulu, distress beacon?" Jim inquires standing up.

"Yes sir. The coordinates will be sent to your shuttle," Sulu informs him.

"Good. Uhura, let that medical assistant that's going with me know that we're leaving. See you all when we get back," Jim says. Jim leaves the bridge without a second thought. Sulu looks at Chekov who looks uneasy.

"What is it Pavel?" Sulu inquires.

"Bad feeling," Chekov replies. "Very bad feeling."

"Captain," the new medical officer that primarily worked night shift but jumped at the chance for an away mission said as Jim walks into the shuttle bay. Jim smiles at him and motions into the shuttle. Jim climbs into the pilot's seat with ease, the medical officer remaining in the back. Jim orders the hatch closed through the computer and prepares to leave the ship.

"Captain, shuttle bay doors are ready to open," Scotty reports.

"Open them," Jim orders as he brings the shuttle up off the ground. Scotty opens the doors and watches at the graceful exit of the shuttle craft before closing the shuttle bay doors. Jim turns the shuttle around the aft of the shift and heads down for the coordinates programed into his navigation screen. The sudden jerk of the shuttle, however, was not something the Captain had expected. Nor was the rapid disintegration of the control panel under his hand.

"Enterprise beam us out of here!" Jim shouts. "Something's got the shuttle and its disintegrating!"

"Working on it sir!" the transporter chief yells. Jim moves away from the front toward the medical officer. One of the shuttle's nacelles exploded causing both men to be thrown into the other side of the ship. The light of a transporter beam envelopes them seconds before the shuttle blew up. They appear on the transporter pad as two limp forms.

The transporter chief doesn't even have time to run to them before Doctor McCoy and Spock are in the room. Doctor McCoy runs to the medical officer first since there was blood pooling around the man.

"He's dead," McCoy says looking to Spock who is kneeling next to Jim. "What is it Spock?" McCoy inquires looking at the confused expression on Spock's face.

"Jim is…" Spock gently turns Jim over so he's lying on his back, his face far too youthful. "Jim is a child."

"Holy shit," McCoy whispers looking at the teenage version of James T. Kirk.