English is not my native language so please excuse any errors I might've made. This is the first part of either a "three shot" or it's the prequel of a multi chapter one. Either way there'll be at least two more stories.

You thrill me, you delight me

You please me, you excite me

You're all that

I've been yearning for

I love you, I adore you

I lay my life before you

I only want you more and more

And finally it seems

My lonely days are through

I've been waiting for you

Stressful. That was probably the word Teddy Altman, chief of staff, would use to describe her work. Oh, and maybe exhausting. Or tiring. Boring. Of course, when she accepted the job it was all exciting and new. She had never been chief of anything. Back in Seattle was the first time she ever had a higher position, head of cardiothoracic surgery.

Yes, back then she had assumed that this was a lot of paperwork. Honestly, this was nothing compared to being a chief of staff. The last time Teddy could recall being in an OR to perform a surgery was at least three months ago. She was usually just observing. Her chief of surgery did most of the chief work for surgeons, she did the chief work for the whole staff. Including the psych ward, dermatology and everything else that was not surgical. She had to make sure there was enough staff, she had to make sure everyone was following her orders.

It was thrilling to have all the resources to practically do whatever she wants medical wise, but she hadn't had any time. Every time the blonde surgeon got home she just wanted to sleep or get some roasted chicken. Or both.

So when Owen Hunt has been ringing the doorbell in the middle of the night a few weeks prior. Now that was exciting. Seeing him was exciting. It made her forget about her stressful and tiring work. He always made her forget about the negative things.

He was a part of her sun and she was a sunflower. Ever since she had left Seattle there was a constant thunderstorm right in front of her sun, preventing her from being her old self. Her old happy self which partly died when Cristina told her that Henry had died. That was when the thunderstorm started. When she got fired there was no ray of sunshine left. For years. So Owen was her sun. He shined bright and right through the dark clouds, making her sunflower grow again. But his sunlight wasn't bright enough for the dark clouds to completely vanish. He made her happy for a brief moment. And then shattered everything once again.

Teddy sighed and put her head in her hands. The paperwork laying in front of her on the surface of her desk was killing her. Her head felt like it would explode any second. All in all she hasn't felt well for a while now. It was the stress. It was always the stress. A few years ago when she started working for MEDCOM she was beyond stressed all the time. Teddy could handle stress. Or maybe she was getting sick? No she couldn't get sick. The hospital needed its chief.

The rays of sunshine lighting up her office were a dark shade of orange already. It was past her time to be there, as usual. Teddy was supposed to have left the hospital hours ago but first she needed to get through with this damned paperwork.

Today was different, today was extra stressful. Three moths ago she kicked Owen out of her flat after he had flown across the Atlantic for her.

Teddy tried not to think about it too much but she couldn't help it. The mere thought of that night made her heart explode with love and hatred for this man she has loved ever since she first saw him nearly two decades ago.

Right now? Her heart was full of every kind of emotion she has possibly ever felt and a single warm tear was falling down her cold cheek. She hated to admit it, but she loved the ginger trauma surgeon with every fibre of her being.

Quickly the blonde wiped the single tear away and sighed. Lately she had been a lot more emotional than usually. The stress. It was always the stress.

She glanced at the clock hanging right above the door of her office. It was late, too late. Again she had completely forgotten that she was supposed to meet her friends at the bar tonight.

"Oh Altman" she sighed and pressed the home button of her phone with her long finger. A lot of new notifications, mostly emails. And there was one message from her friend asking where the hell she was.

Standing up her heartbeat started to increase and for a brief second her vision went black. She grasped onto her chest with one and onto the desk with the other hand. The stress.

Teddy grabbed her coat and decided to finish the paperwork tomorrow or just never. With that she left her office.

It was evening but that didn't mean anything in a hospital, someone was always up and walking around. So it was easy to forget what time it was. Especially when someone spent the whole day reading through boring emails and files.

When she left the hospital she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. It was rather cool outside but the fresh air cleared up her thoughts immediately.

Back in Seattle she enjoyed to go on a walk every once in a while, just enjoying nature and her body pumping oxygen through her lungs. Not that her body didn't do that when she wasn't running, but especially in these moments she felt alive.

Now the only time she was able to breathe in fresh air outside a building was in between a building and a parking lot. Being outside was a privilege.

The sun was already shining on the other side of the planet which left the moon to do its job. It was a cloudless night, a lovely night. These kind of nights would forever remind her of the time he had spent in Iraq. When she was just laying outside their tent, right next to Owen, and stargazing.

Tonight she decided to walk to the bar instead of taking her car. She was planning on getting utterly drunk anyway. Also the fresh air helped her to feel a lot less nauseous than in the past few days, or weeks.

When Teddy entered the bar the scent of alcohol was undeniable and it made her feel sick immediately. I'm definitely going to get sick. She looked around for her friends and could see them sitting at their usual table in a corner.

"Teddy!" one of the women exclaimed with a shrill voice and waved causing the other two ones to laugh. Teddy laughed too and walked towards them. There were plenty of empty glasses placed on top of the wooden surface. The cardiothoracic surgeon knew this was going to be a long night. With one or two regrets in the morning.

The past years these friends have helped her stay sane after all that has happened before. She sat down on the bench and smiled at the other three fellow surgeons. "So what did I miss?" she asked enthusiastically. I could throw up right now.

"Well, you know.. the usual. Our beloved trauma attending over there is already on her fourth glass of.. Radler. What do you even call that in English? Anyway she's said she'll make it to ten. Ten" the brunette woman sitting right in front Teddy replied, referring to the one sitting next to her.

"Ra.. Rad.. Radler" the American struggled to pronounce the word which caused the group of four to burst into laughter, "oh don't laugh at me your pronunciation is really hard who even invented this weird r-sound? Anyway, this alcoholic drink which is beer mixed with lemonade.. the alcohol level isn't even that high. As long as this isn't about this super cute radiology guy?" Teddy looked at her friend and smirked.

Her friend started to blush immediately, "no! No, this is not. I.. I'm going to get myself some more beer. You fancy anything, Teddy?" She tried changing the subject.

"Some tap water, I'm not feeling like I want to drink tonight" Teddy went along and just smiled slightly, "I feel like I'm about to get sick." She licked her upper lip and stared into three concerned faces. "What-"

"He knocked you up!" the chatty brunette woman sitting in front of her exclaimed, "morning sickness? Do certain smells make you want to throw up? You look so tired! Your breasts! Do they feel tender?"

Pregnant? Teddy Altman? There was no way she could be pregnant, was it? She let go off the idea of having her own kids years ago, ever since Henry died. Also she was on birth control when Owen was in Germany. She couldn't have got pregnant. And- "Oh crap" the blonde's eyes widened. The days before Owen came to bist her she had forgotten to take her pills because she was so busy preparing and performing a cardiac transplant on a patient with severe coronary artery disease with scarred heart tissue from a heart attack.

She grabbed her purse and stood up immediately. "I.. I gotta go" was all Teddy could say before she rushed out of the bar and back to the hospital leaving her friends confused.

She wasn't even running, but her lungs were pumping oxygen through her lungs way quicker than usual. She couldn't be pregnant. Calm down, Altman. You're overreacting. She was the chief of staff. He was across the Atlantic, probably back with Amelia by now.

Teddy walked through the hospital, greeting her colleagues as she passed them in the hallways. The supply room was her destination. She needed to know. She needed to know if there was actually a baby growing inside her stomach.

Just half an hour later the cardiothoracic surgeon was back in her flat. She sat down on the edge of the bathtub and got the pregnancy tests out of her purse. She held three small sticks in her hand. Three small sticks with a symbol so tiny that could change her entire life forever. Positive? Or negative?

A million thoughts were wandering through her head as Teddy took the pregnancy tests. Please, don't let me be pregnant. I can't raise a child. I've got a job. This child won't have a father. I'd be a horrible mum.

With shaking hands she was basically clinging onto the small tests. Her eyes were closed and her surroundings felt nonexistent. It was as if someone just pushed her down a huge cliff, she was falling and didn't know if she was going to survive or not.

Tears started streaming down her cold cheeks as she opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling. I can't be pregnant, please don't let me be pregnant. She could never be a good mum. She didn't know how to be a good mum.

Owen. He's always wanted children. No. He wouldn't want a kid with his best friend. Former best friend. He wants Amelia. He doesn't want me.

He does- it's my fault. I screwed up. I threw him out. If Teddy didn't know better she would say she was dying from a broken heart. It was bleeding out. Ripped right out of her chest. And now laying on the ground shattered into a million different pieces. I can't do this alone.

But what if she wasn't pregnant? What if she just overreacted? Teddy started breathing heavily and she felt like she was about to faint any second. This was too much. It's my last chance to be a mum.

The blonde looked at her hand and didn't realise how tightly she was holding the sticks in her hand, her knuckles had turned white. I really want a baby. This baby. Please, let me be pregnant.

She opened up her hand and gazed at the tiny symbols that were about to tell her the truth. Nothing. For a brief second her head was completely empty. It was as if someone pressed stop. The world didn't move. The world around her didn't exist for that brief moment.

"Oh crap" Teddy let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding. Warm tears were falling down her cheeks once again. Happy tears full of relieve.

That's all I've ever wanted. Teddy smiled. Her broken heart was beating again. And yet she was still scared. But in this very moment she wasn't just a broken woman who seemed to have lost the love of her life. She was a mum to be.

The pregnancy tests fell down on the ground as she placed both of her hands on her abdomen. There's a baby. My baby. She gently caressed her very tiny baby bump. She wasn't showing yet. But to her that didn't matter. There was a baby.

Teddy walked back into her living room and sat down on the sofa, not removing her hands from her stomach. Her feels overwhelmed her. It was unbelievable. She gave up on being a mum long ago.

"Hey.. you" she whispered, "I just.. I want to say hello. You have been here for a while and I haven't realised it. So, I really want to say hello. I want you to know that I love having you here. That you're the best that's ever happened to me. I didn't even realise I needed you until now. But I really need you. And I promise you, I'll be the best mum in the whole entire universe. I might have my moments and I might not be perfect, but I will do literally everything to be the best mum you could ever have. You are my everything and I haven't even met you yet. My life's been complicated, my history with Ow.. with your daddy has been complicated. But I'll make it up to you. I'll tell him, but I can't promise anything. He's a good guy. He will love you. I don't know if he loves me, but he for sure will do everything for you. Your daddy always wanted to have kids. He has you now. And I.. I am so happy. I'm so happy to say hello to you finally. I can't wait to meet you. I will never be lonely again. I love you so much. I love you with all my heart. I'm your mummy."

I'll carry you all the way

And you will choose the day

When you're prepared to greet me

I'll be a good mum, I swear

You'll see how much I care

When you meet me

Reviews and feedback are always appreciated :)