Listen up, I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters. Got it? Well here's another fun little one shot Brotherhood fic. Sorry I haven't done a good one in so long but without new episodes to inspire me…Well you get the drift.
Love, Brotherhood Style
"For crying out loud Toad what are you doing now?" Lance groaned.
"It's my new look!" Todd posed for Lance. He was wearing a suit that was slightly big on him with a tie and a hat. "What do you think?"
"I think that you look like an extra out of the 'Sopranos'," Lance folded his arms.
"Hey I figured that maybe Wanda would appreciate me cleaning up a little," Todd adjusted the hat. "Just call me the Gangster of Love!"
"Because you're going to get shot down?" Lance quipped. "Just out of curiosity, is that one of Pietro's outfits?"
"Hey you gotta admit, the guy has taste," Todd shrugged.
"You know if Wanda doesn't kill you, Pietro will right?" Lance asked.
"I am going to say hi to my sweetie!" Todd hopped up the stairs. "I just need to borrow a few more things from Pietro's room."
"Oh man," Lance groaned. "Dead frog hopping."
Fortunately for Todd Pietro was occupied at the moment. He was on his cell phone. "How can you say that Caroline?" He said in a wounded tone. "You know you're the only girl for me!"
"Well at least for this week," Lance cracked as he walked in the living room.
Pietro glared at Lance but said nothing to him. "I am listening. I just can't believe you fell for those lies! Who are you gonna believe, me or your mother? Well pictures don't prove anything anymore. You know they can just make stuff up and add things in with computers. Yeah even Polariods."
"Boy has he got a live one," Fred jerked his thumb at him. He was sitting on the couch munching on potato chips.
"Of course I forgive you sweetie. Oh I've got another call," Pietro said. "See you when you get out of the hospital." Fred and Lance looked at him. "She got hit on the head with a couple hundred basketballs," Pietro explained as he took the next call. "She's a bit accident prone."
"Well that explains a lot," Lance rolled his eyes.
"Darling! It's so good to hear your voice!" Pietro grinned. "What time should I pick you up tonight? What do you mean you can't go? You're going out with who? Well just tell him you're busy tonight. Of course he'll buy it, he is your boyfriend isn't he? He's supposed to trust you!"
"Oh man," Fred shook his head. "Why am I not surprised?"
Pietro ignored Fred. He continued talking into the phone. "Well I suppose I don't mind it this one time. Oh well of course I do mind. I mean the nights are so long and lonely without you. I can't help missing you like crazy. But I guess it is good for me. It's selfish of me to want you to myself all the time. I guess it would be good discipline for me. It will make the next time I see you all the sweeter."
"Oh brother," Lance rolled his eyes. "What a line!"
Pietro grimaced and zipped over to the hallway. Lance and Fred casually went over and listened at the doorway to the hall. "I was going to surprise you with a home cooked meal tonight too."
"Does he really think she wouldn't notice the KFC label on the bucket?" Lance gestured.
Pietro continued. "Well you have no idea how good I am."
"I'll say she doesn't," Lance grinned.
"I think I should stay home anyway," Pietro said. "My sister isn't feeling that well."
"Yeah she's got a permanent case of PMS," Lance quipped.
"So help me if you don't shut up, I'm gonna kill you," Pietro hissed through his teeth. Then he returned to the phone. "Really baby, it's no trouble. I'll be fine. I think I'll just get out my old photo albums and look through them."
"Is he serious?" Fred looked at him.
"I've seen 'em," Lance grinned. "Some of those photographs would make Hugh Hefner blush."
"Well I do have some pictures of you," Pietro continued. "But not enough."
"More like not enough of her in them," Lance snickered.
"Really?" Pietro grinned. "Well of course I can get there early! See you! Goodbye! Hey can you believe that?" Pietro bristled as he hung up. "She almost stood me up for her boyfriend!"
"Now isn't that a shock," Lance drawled.
A high pitched scream resounded through the building. "Speaking of shocks," Fred remarked. "Looks like Toad struck out again."
"When is he gonna learn that love only leads to heartbreak?" Lance sighed.
"Hopefully before he needs new skin grafts," Fred said.
"Not even that will stop him," Lance sighed. "He's gotta learn the hard way like the rest of us."
"Hey at least he's smart enough not to fall for an X-Geek," Fred pointed out. "I'll give him that."
"Yeah at least he's smart enough not to fall for a ditzy pony tailed jerk who thinks she's better than you," Lance kicked the wall idly.
"Or a red headed stuck up ice princess," Fred admitted.
"You know you two should form a club," Pietro said. "Losers Dumped By Ex-Geeks Anonymous!"
"Well you'll have to apply for membership yourself then," Fred snickered. "Since both Rogue and Tabby shot you down."
"They did not shoot me down," Pietro bristled.
"Ha!" Lance snapped. "I remember the day you first moved in. That wall still has a dent in it!"
"I slipped," Pietro told him. "The floor was slippery and with my speed I slipped."
"Yeah you 'slipped' all the way across the hallway!" Fred laughed. "And then you 'slipped' again out the window!"
"Look Rogue is a different case okay?" Pietro said. "With her powers who would want to date her anyway? As if her personality wasn't enough a deterrent."
"Oh yeah then how do you explain Tabby?" Lance asked.
"Simple she wasn't my type anyway," Pietro huffed.
"Yeah she was too much like you," Fred grinned.
"Except for the fact that she's smarter and a better fighter than he is," Lance grinned.
"She is not!" Pietro snapped. "I could get Tabby if I really wanted to!"
"And if I wanted to I could lose over 200 pounds by the end of the week," Fred told him.
"I could get her!" Pietro snapped.
"Yeah right!" Lance rolled his eyes. "And I'm going to get a scholarship to Harvard next fall."
"You can go to…" Pietro started to say when his cell phone rang. "Hello? Hey Mary," Pietro spoke into the phone. "Listen, we gotta be a bit more careful next time we meet. Yeah somebody was able to take pictures of us. Well how should I know how they did it? Maybe they climbed up the fire escape or something?"
"I swear they should do a reality TV show based on his love life," Fred remarked to Lance.
"Yeah he makes Paradise Hotel look like Fawlty Towers," Lance nodded. "And speaking of our other resident Bachelor…"
Todd wobbled downstairs. The outfit he was wearing was slightly charred. "I think my sweetie wants some alone time," Todd moaned.
"For how long? Fifteen, twenty years?" Fred asked.
"IS THAT MY NEW GUCCHI SUIT?" Pietro shouted.
"Uh oh…" Todd gulped.
"Mary I'll call you back!" Pietro spoke into the phone. "I have to go to a funeral. After I kill my housemate!"
"I'm out of here!" Todd hopped into the next room and locked the door.
"Open up Toad! You can't hide from me forever!" Pietro banged on it.
"I can try!" Todd called out from the other side.
"Okay where's the ax?" Pietro looked around wildly. "Where's that stupid ax when you need one?" He ran off to find it.
"I swear we should try to sell our lives off as a reality TV show," Fred said. "Can you imagine how much money we'd get?"
"Ah ha!" Pietro ran back in with an ax and started chopping the door. "Here's Johnny! Ha Ha!" He ran in the hole. Then he ran out again. "AGGGGGGHHH!"
Todd hopped out laughing maniacally carrying a chainsaw. He followed him upstairs. There was the sound of some running and some wood being torn apart.
"WHAT ARE YOU TWO IDIOTS DOING?" Wanda's voice called out. Then there was the sound of screams, things exploding and a lot of begging.
Lance looked at Fred. "You get the camera and I'll look up the number for the Fox network. I think we've got a hit on our hands."