This is a semi-autobiographical piece, however I claim no ownership to the characters created by the wonderfully talented Stephenie Meyer or, sadly, to Edward. Except the Edward barbie doll that sits on my bureau and watches me sleep at night. ;)
Chapter 1
Being a sophomore in high school in Forks, Washington definitely had its disadvantages. My parents were well known since my father, Charlie Swan, was the Chief of Police. My mother, Renee, worked at the town library and also ran the local annual arts and crafts festival. My great-great grandparents moved here just a year or two after dirt was invented, like many other families that lived in this small town. Everyone knew who the "townies" were, and my best friend, Alice, was subject to that stigma just like I was.
Alice Hale lived a block away from me. We had been best friends ever since fourth grade, when we fought over a swing on the playground. Alice's father owned the town's only grocery and supply store, and her mom managed the business with him. Our parents were friendly, and had gone to school together 'back in the day.' Alice and I were inseparable, outside of school. We were always our true selves with each other, and our friendship had an amazing 'no judgment' policy, and it seemed like no matter what either of us was going through, or did, we were there for each other. We knew that we were both welcome in each other's homes at any time, any hour, and for any reason. Since my Dad spent so much time at work (even though Forks did not have a huge crime rate), I felt like Alice's Dad had adopted me in some respects. That could also have been because I knew if I screwed up badly enough he would tell my Mom, and then there would be hell to pay.
We were both 15, and met almost daily at our usual place near the ball field in between our houses. We had done this for years, but both looked forward to getting our licenses next year. It was frustrating being forced to depend on our parents, or Alice's brother Emmett, to go anywhere outside of Forks. On the Friday before Thanksgiving week, the big topic of conversation at school had been the new family who was moving into town over the weekend. Their last name was Cullen, and they were moving here because Mrs. Cullen, a successful real estate broker, preferred small towns. Dr. Cullen was a neurologist who ran one of the departments at the Port Angeles Hospital, and they had a son that was a couple of years older than Alice and I. Everybody in town pretty much knew their business before they even arrived. Like I said – small town disadvantages. Normally, when a new student started school, I ignored them. I didn't do it to be mean, and I certainly didn't think I was better than anyone, but there always seemed to be a competition between the various cliques to claim a new student as one of their own. As if they were increasing their power by numbers, or something like that. It was like watching a group of kindergarteners all converging on a soccer ball, and I just didn't want any part of it.
The weather was still decent for this time of year, and the endless trees kept what wind there was to a minimum. But even as I sat on the rock with Alice and enjoyed the crisp air and the smell of winter and promised snow, I wondered why anyone moving to a new location would choose Forks.
"I heard the Cullens lived in Port Angeles for a really long time," I said to Alice. "I feel bad for their son having to move here. I'm sure there's a lot more to do in Port Angeles."
"Hmm... yeah, I guess so," Alice's replied. "Their son is older than us, anyway. I think he's a senior, so he can probably drive back there whenever he wants."
I nodded at her, supposing she was right. I had better things to worry about anyway. Alice was already forming plans for the weekend.
"Listen, how about we go see 'Deception at Midnight' tomorrow? I'll ask my Dad or Emmett to drive us if your Mom can pick us up."
"Isn't that an R movie?" I asked. I remember hearing about that one, and it sounded pretty good. But I wasn't in the mood to have my non-existent ID checked.
"Bella, you've got to work on your lying abilities. That last time we went to an R rated movie and you told the woman that you were a mature 15-and-a-half years old, I wanted to smack you."
"Yeah, I still don't know why she let me in. That was kind of stupid." I shook my head as I remembered that day well; lying was not a talent of mine. The movie was good, though.
Alice looked at her watch. "I have to get going. My Dad is working late tonight and I have to feed Emmett. I'm making lasagna, want to come over?"
Emmett was Alice's older brother, and we got along fine. But I had already made a commitment I couldn't get out of.
"No thanks, Al. Nothing against your cooking, but I promised my mother that I'd help her around the house tonight, and I don't want to be stuck inside cleaning over the weekend. Besides, it will give me leverage to ask for a ride home from the movies tomorrow night as payment."
"Okay. Just give me a call in the morning so we can figure out what time. And practice in the mirror by looking at yourself and saying 'I'm seventeen.'"
"Okay, I will. See ya." I waved as I jumped off of the rock we were sitting on, and made my way through the neighbors' back yard to get to my own.
I spent the next two hours cleaning various parts of the house that my mother deemed worthy of a good dusting and vacuuming. Once that was done, I decided to hang out in my room and read, since it was too late to head to the gym. After about half an hour I was sound asleep, face down in the middle of Dean Koontz's latest thriller. The rest of the weekend was busy, and went pretty much as planned. Alice and I successfully got into the movie we wanted to see, we hit the gym a couple of times, and on Sunday we even managed to get a ride to the mall. Tomorrow we would be back in school, and our mundane routine would start all over again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The fact that the school administration felt that P.E. was an acceptable class to hold first thing in the morning didn't bother me so much. However, it was the one class I dreaded because it forced me to put my lack of coordination on display for everyone to see. I wished my gym membership qualified towards credit for the course, but I knew there was no hope there. It wasn't considered a 'team building' experience. As I walked towards the locker rooms, curious about which type of torture I would endure today, I noticed a tall, bronze-haired boy walking out of the wood shop with some other students.
He must be the new Cullen boy, I thought to myself.
I had forgotten all about the Cullens moving into town this past weekend. But, since the entire Forks Junior-Senior High School consisted of only 732 students, it was obvious when an outsider showed up. Alice was right - the Cullen boy (Edward, I think?) was a senior, so I wouldn't have any reason to speak to him, but for some reason I found myself staring at him. I felt a strange mixture of fear and fascination when I saw him, as though I were being tempted by some forbidden fruit. I had to actually force my eyes away, which wasn't like me at all.
When I looked up again, I couldn't see anything unusual about him that should have caused this reaction in me. I didn't have enough experience with boys to know whether someone was my 'type' or not, but it didn't feel like physical attraction was the issue here. I shook it off and continued on to P.E. class, where I made a conscious effort to restrict my injuries to myself, and spare as many of my classmates as possible.
The only remarkable thing about the rest of school that week was that every time I saw Edward Cullen, I would find my eyes drawn to his face, particularly his green eyes. They were almost hypnotic in a way, and I realized I was searching the halls for them when I was between classes. The next week continued with much of the same. I could not help but feel some unexplainable connection between myself and this person that I had never met. It was more than a little unnerving, the way he had this subconscious control over me. I must be losing it, I thought. He has no idea I even exist, and yet I'm watching for him every chance I get? Seriously, I needed to just ignore him and mind my own business.
I didn't tell Alice about this, although part of me found it very difficult to keep it from her. It was ridiculous, and I couldn't explain it, so why bother? She'd probably figure I was stressing out from being cooped up in a small town, and insist on what she liked to refer to as 'retail therapy.' No, my shopaholic-pixie-BFF did not need to know about this.
There were a few instances when he caught me looking at him in the hallway. I immediately felt intimidated and looked away, trying to pretend as if my eyes hadn't been burning a hole in his head. One time, though, I thought I saw the hint of a smile on his lips before I averted my gaze, blushing furiously. I couldn't help but overhear that Edward was the main focus of talk among the other girls in school. Again, it could have been a lack of options, but he was being considered as one of the hottest young guys in Forks. Maybe he was my type? I wondered. No, I decided, he was starting to irritate me, actually. I found myself getting mad whenever I saw him. Angry at him for being here, for making me notice him so much, for turning me into some psychopath. What was wrong with me??
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
My mother put on the traditional Thanksgiving dinner for our family, including our relatives from Seattle who only visited on special occasions. It was nice to have a long weekend away from school, and away from certain 'distractions' that were starting to make me crazy. But after a couple of weeks went by, my stalking tendencies continued no matter how hard I tried to diffuse them. Alice and I were planning our next concert excursion to see Kings of Leon. We were looking forward to it, and even more so because Emmett was going, too, and would let us ride with him instead of us being chauffeured by one of our parents.
Over time, and not without a Herculean effort, I had managed to avoid staring at you-know-who as much as I had done that first couple of weeks. It was a relief to find that I could ignore his presence when I tried, but the necessity of my efforts was starting to make me feel like I was in my own twelve-step program. Then one Monday, over a month after the object of my psychosis moved to town, I was sure I had finally stepped into the Twilight Zone.
On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays after school I went to the police station in town to work for my Dad. It was just for a few hours, and mostly consisted of a little data entry, keeping files in order, and making sure that coffee was made. Sometimes it would get really exciting if I had to sit at the dispatcher's desk and cover for her when she went to the ladies' room. I finished my last class for the day, Biology, and walked to work in my snow boots and heavy coat. It was lightly snowing, and Charlie had texted me to see if I needed a ride, but I enjoyed the time alone to clear my head as long as it wasn't bitter cold or icy on the sidewalks. Charlie said there were a bunch of files that needed to be put away because of some investigation they were working on with the police force in Mason County. So, I could look forward to a busy afternoon.
I put my backpack down under my desk - well, table and chair might have been more accurate, and started attacking the pile of papers that the detectives from Mason had left everywhere. Charlie's car was in the parking lot, but after being there for a half hour, I still hadn't seen him. I finally heard Charlie's voice coming down the hall, and it sounded like he was giving someone a tour of the building. I guessed that one of the detectives must still be around, and wondered if they had needed to call in a second shift or something. But when I listened closely, I could hear Charlie explaining the mechanics of how the doors worked and where the cleaning supplies were kept. Why in the world would a detective need to know that?
"Thanks, Chief Swan. I appreciate the opportunity. I'll get right to work on the cruisers." I heard a soft velvet voice speaking to my father in a professional manner. Charlie responded as he normally did when someone expressed gratitude.
"Uh, sure, no problem." And with that, the conversation ended and Charlie emerged from the hallway.
"Hey, Bells. How was school?" he greeted me as he walked past me towards his office.
"Hi, Dad. Um, good, thanks," I said, keeping my eyes on the hallway where I had heard their voices. Since I knew everyone that worked here already, the curiosity I felt from hearing a strange voice was overwhelming. It probably made sense to find out who he was, so that I didn't blind him with pepper spray if I ran into him by accident or something. I walked down the hallway lined with closets that held the maintenance supplies and extra uniforms, coats, and safety gear. At the end of it was the entrance to the garage that held Forks' four cruisers, plus a bay for the spare ambulance. When I reached the door I peeked through the inset window, and immediately my head began to spin.
My mouth hung open in shock as I watched Edward Cullen, dressed in off-white coveralls, getting ready to wash one of the cruisers. Wait a minute, I thought. What in the world is going on? Why is he here? This can't be real. This is one of the few places where I didn't have to consciously avoid him. Hadn't I successfully been ignoring him, and now this? I may need to rethink that pepper spray. I couldn't breathe, and my heart was pounding. I did the first thing that came to my mind, and quickly turned and headed straight into Charlie's office.
"Dad!" I practically yelled. Charlie jumped a bit in his seat and looked up at me with an alarmed expression.
"Bella, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
"Why is he here, Dad?" I demanded, ignoring his questions. His alarm quickly changed to confusion then.
"Who?" he asked, looking over my shoulder to the reception area.
"Edward Cullen. What is he doing here?" This only generated more confused looks from Charlie as he sat back in his chair, gauging my expression.
"He works here, Bella. I hired him for some general maintenance and to keep the cruisers clean. Today is his first day. Why, what's the problem? Did he say something to you?" Charlie was always the protective father when it came to boys.
"No, we haven't spoken. I can't believe you hired him, of all people," I said, shaking my head in disbelief. I was acting like a complete lunatic, and I knew it. But I just couldn't stop myself.
"Bells, he just moved here, and he has a good recommendation from the police chief over in Port Angeles where he did the same kind of work. You want to explain where this behavior is coming from?" He had one eyebrow raised, obviously curious about my sudden hostility.
"Not really." I folded my arms, feeling defeated. Obviously, I couldn't tell Charlie about my deranged obsession with Edward Cullen, but I had to say something to get rid of his worried look. I ran my hands over my face to calm myself and return to reality.
"Sorry, Dad. I'm fine, really. It's just, you know, I feel weird around strangers. It will be fine. I was just caught by surprise. I'm sure he'll do fine, so don't worry, really." Geez, how many times was I going to say 'fine?' I tried to smile reassuringly, but I was still so flustered it felt more like a grimace.
"Um...okay, Bella. Look, do you want me to call your Mom or something? Maybe you two could use a girls' day out." Now he had that look on his face when he figured that I was....
Oh great! Now he thinks I've got PMS or something.
"No, Dad. I need to get those files done. Let me know whenever you're ready to leave." And with that I managed a more sincere-looking smile, and turned to leave.
"Uh-huh. Alright." I could feel him watch me walk back over to my table, so I quickly busied myself with shuffling papers, sorting them by case number and date. But I couldn't help but be very aware that Edward Cullen was down the hall, and I found myself pushing away the urge to return to that window.
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