Kingdom Hearts: The Voice Lost
A Light in the Rain production
Neki © Light of Heaven and Kitty Fetish
Reni Concept © Kitty Fetish
Reni © Black Rainy
Kingdom Hearts Characters and Concept © Square Enix and Disney
Final Fantasy Characters © Square Enix
All rights reserved.
Light Note: Having a bad week, feel like writing some EMO Riku/Neki/Aio triangle stuff. Bear with me, and I hope you like it.
To make it better, listen to 9 Crimes by Damien Rice when you're reading. It's the song that inspired this.
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I should be punished.
For the crime I committed, my heart should be plagued with thoughts of him, thoughts of us, and yet I fly free as a bird above my conscience; logic has no longer a hold on me, and I feel my pull to him weakening with each passing day I spend in these arms that aren't his, kiss these lips that aren't his, whisper words born from nothing into ears that aren't his, to a man that is not him.
I should be punished, but I am not.
God has no divine retribution for me. Maybe that is my punishment. The knowledge that what I am doing is wrong... but I cannot stop myself. I greedily relied on others to tell me right from wrong. Greedily believed that someone else would stop me when I began to cross that forbidden line in my careless free spirited antics, and once that voice that kept me from crossing was gone, I climbed. I climbed that wall of warning, no voice telling me to stop, and when I reached the top, I surveyed each side. But there was no voice to tell me which way to jump, so I spun myself and fell, letting luck take me where it would, hoping Fate would take the place of my lost voice.
And so I sinned.
I allowed my heart to taint itself with darkness, allowed it to weaken its resolve and slip into what was easier, what was simpler. What was wrong. However, I knew not that it was wrong. How could I when my body screamed for his touch? His breath against my neck; His hands tangled in his hair; how was I supposed to believe that something as wonderful as he was immoral, was wrong? There was no one to tell me so, and I fell to the whispers of my body, over the whispers of my heart. He made me feel so alive, that there was no way I could have noticed the darkness as it swallowed me. As I drowned in my sin, and loved every second of it.
Yet no punishment was forth coming when I realized my mistake. When I corrected and repented for my sin, I still expected someone to scold me, someone to tell me I was in the wrong, that I shouldn't be forgiven. Yet there was the same nothing as when I had sinned. There was the same emptyness that told me nothing of what I should do. It was no surprise that I would fall yet again to his will, to his want, versus my own. The silence that surrounded me became my enemy, and I fought against it by filling that damned silence with words that had no meaning behind them, words that spilled from my mouth with no effort and kept his heart close to mine, so that my words and the sound of his beating heart would keep that silence from me.
I still knew that I was wrong, and yet I still couldn't stop. The silence put a fear in my heart like one I'd never yet felt and it paralyzed me. Kept me from moving forward through the darkness until the light once again blessed my eyes.
And I sinned. Again, and again I sinned.
Because there was no longer a voice to lead me through the darkness, and I no longer felt the need to go.
What had I been fighting for?
The darkness was so comforting, so inviting...
Why had I fought so hard?
"Neki."
"Yes?"
His eyes were cold on my face, like the darkness I now craved to bathe in, "I want you to say it."
"Say what?"
"You know what."
My head shook, my long hair shifting with the movement, "I don't, Aio. What do you want me to say?"
"Say it."
"What--"
"SAY IT!"
It was then that I realized what he wanted to hear from me, what words he wanted to fall from my lips. A smile found its way there, and my lips parted, but I couldn't form the words. I'd never been able to, "I--" There were tears forming in my eyes, and I tried desparately to blink them away, "I... I can't..." The tears streamed down my face, which distorted into agony, "I can't!"
His arms wrapped themselves around me, and the silence I so feared was cut with his voice, "I know..." He pulled my face up to his and kissed me, but my heart no longer skipped a beat, my face no longer heated. Releasing me, his smile was a sad one as he turned away from me. I murmured a thousand 'I'm sorry's over and over until the silence greeted me again, his retreating footsteps no longer audible.
But I had it...
I had once again found the voice to tell me I was wrong.
Say it.
"I can't," I whispered to the darkness, "I can't say it."
Say it.
"Because I don't love him," my voice trembled, but gained in sound as my heart rejoiced with my new found strength to fight, "I don't love him."
SAY IT!
"I LOVE RIKU!"
My scream, my declaration to the darkness flew on the wind, bounced off the walls of the buildings, and as the tears once again formed in my eyes, I hoped that he would hear it.
The darkness had once taken Riku from me, had once tainted his heart until I could no longer see what I had fallen in love with, but I had been his voice. I had been his reason to fight, his reason to resist, his reason to repent, to grow stronger. His reason to live.
Just as I now knew.
My reason to fight, to resist, to repent, to grow stronger, and to live.
It was him.
It had always been him.
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Light Note: Wow... I just love how this turned out. Makes me feel all inspired to write more when I read it. LOL I fully intend to have that little part between Neki and Aio in the story, whether it's my chapter or Shelley's, it doesn't matter, it's going in. I can't get that scene out of my head. Aio wanting her to say 'I love you,' Neki not being able to say it and crying, him saying 'I know...' and just walking away, and then Neki shouting how she loves Riku. It's just rapture to me. xD which sounds weird, but eh. Who cares.
Anyway, tell me what you guys think!! I know Shelley and I have been gone for a while, and we feel really bad about it but this is proof that I never stop thinking about this story. x3
Light of Heaven.
P.S. I got Shellz addicted to Soul Eater!! =D -got her addicted to Death Note-