Alright folks, a random one shot.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Final Fantasy VII universe. Sob Or Cloud. Or Midgar, or Edge, or Denzel, or Tifa, or Materia, or Jenova... oh, yeah, I don't own Hostel either.

Enjoy!


Dawn settled over the small bar named "Seventh Heaven" in Edge, the outer city of Midgar.

Cloud sat at the table while Tifa poured the coffee. To be honest, he would've preferred the wine or beer. Rubbing his eyes groggily, he lifted the paper to his face and hid himself from view. Please, he thought tiredly, Please let the damned paper hide me just this once.

Unfortunately, the paper didn't hide Cloud's hugely insane blonde spikes, which poked defiantly over the top of the printed sheets. No matter how hard he tried, Cloud just couldn't get them to go with the flow and stick down for once. Nope, his hair was definitely gravity defying. To be honest, he didn't really mind... until it came to times like this

So when Denzel and Marlene came screaming down the stairs five minutes later...

"CLOUD!" Shrieked Marlene, hurling herself at him the moment she was in the doorframe. Denzel followed her slowly, eyes wide, as he sat down in a chair next to Cloud. On Autopilot, he pulled over the a few pieces of toast and began to munch repeatedly, staring straight ahead.

"Oomph!" Cloud relinquished the grip on his paper to catch Marlene in the nick of time, before she went flying past him and out the window. Or worse, into Tifa's coffee-pot Hell would break loose if she broke it yet again. "Hey Marlene, how are you doing?"

Marlene clung to him, frightened out of her mind. Cloud fidgeted uncomfortably as she twitched and then began howling into his shirt. Damn, that was his favourite black one... thank Materia he had another ten sets upstairs, free of snot and crusted tears. Oh, and the occasional drool. That was his least favourite part...

"Well... uh... how about you, Denzel?" Denzel nodded in reply, eyes wider than saucers. Looking at Cloud pointedly, Tifa set down his mug of coffee before joining him with one of her own. He stared back reproachfully.

"Don't look at me like that, Tifa," Cloud complained. "It wasn't my idea to watch that movie last night!"

Tifa pursed her lips. "No," she agreed reluctantly, "But you didn't tell them they couldn't, did you now?"

Cloud grew quiet. Marlene lifted her head from Cloud's shirt and started devouring the bowl of Crunchy-O's in front of her like a ravenous animal.

"Ugh, Marlene!" Denzel groaned, snapping out of his zombie-like state. "Don't do that. You look like that... that thing from last night."

Marlene smiled over at her 'brother', and the started munching with renewed vigour, being ultra careful to show her teeth in-between bites.

"Stop it!" Denzel snapped, flinging his toast at her. Marlene stuck out her tongue back at him before whirling a few Crunchy-O's in his eye. He growled and lifted up the nearest plate, ready to throw it right in her face when the demon awoke.

"Kids, kids!" Denzel and Marlene looked up at Tifa, eyes wide in the 'I didn't do it!' Pose. She shook her head. "This is the last time either of you get to stay up and watch movie with Cloud!"

"Aw, Tifa!" Grouched Denzel, Marlene and Cloud in protest. "That's not fair!"

"Well, I don't care. Now eat up, dress up and get to school – or work!" ordered Tifa.

Denzel, and Marlene finished off their breakfast and ran back up the stairs, their shouts of "I claim the bathroom first!" Echoing back down to Tifa and Cloud's ears. His blonde spikes bouncing, Cloud turned his head to her, and questioned, "Why not?"

Tifa sighed. "Because," she answered finally, dropping into a seat. "I don't care how many times you say it's not, that movie is far too violent for Denzel and Marlene. For Jenova's sake, Cloud, they're kids!"

"It's not that bad, Tif!" Cloud reasoned. "You and I can watch it just fine without dying on the spot, right?

"Cloud, did you even see the look Denzel's face for the past for the past few weeks?"

"That's not the point-"

"Or the fact that our bed has been invaded every night since then?"

"But, Tif"-

"And have you remembered the amount of money we've spent on buying papers in the morning?"

"Tifa, please"-

"Or maybe you like being jumped by Marlene every morning at seven O'clock."

"... All right," Cloud groaned, clutching at his coffee mug with enough force to break it, and he noted grimly that cracks were starting to appear (that's what wielding the buster sword does to you. No more gripping coffee mugs without watching them explode.). "You win, Tifa. No more watching Hostel at one in the morning."


R&R!