A/N: A friend has asked for it, and I have delivered! Hopefully they like it, along with you, and stay tuned for the unraveling of their adventure. (So I may have made that sound more epic than it'll probably be.) Thank you for reading and let's get started!
There's a brush of blonde locks that catches her attention first. Second, it would had to have been the way she held herself: hard yet soft. Angry yet gentle. Wicked yet saintly. Third, and the most important, it was her eyes. Colorful and transparent green, understanding, yet immediately untouched and above the hideous sight in front of her.
The grimy human, she hadn't had time to clean herself after being indoctrinated, was walking with her head raised high and her eyes darting from one side of the grand room to the other. She had never seen something so spacious, so luxurious, and it surprised her. That, however, was what the blonde must have thought anyways. She heard her named called, a soft 'Lauren' from the man in front of her for she had stopped from such a beautiful woman despite herself, and she briefly wondered if the blonde had caught on.
They were walking in completely different directions, and that seemed to be among the long list of things that were completely different about the women. The blonde was coming from what looked like a room into a white sterilizing lab, her eyes pinned on the little rag doll that walked behind the powerful man who was also dressed in all white attire. The blonde was in such nice clothes, it took the human a moment to comprehend how dirty she must look to her. While the blonde wore a very attractive black suit with dress slacks, boots that were only for fashion and not to add height, Lauren wore a dark brown shirt, that of which was made darker and more unattractive by the dirt stains fastened to it, and stained blue jeans with sneakers. Her blonde hair was tarnished and frizzled around her face and she wondered briefly if the blonde walking towards them could tell she was a slightly darker shade from her own locks. The blonde wore an entwining silver pendant connected to a lace around her neck, and the human wondered if it meant anything as her new golden necklace that was wrapped around her own neck meant, or if it was just for show, she thought with a self-loathing smile.
It takes the human a moment to realize that the she has stopped, her face almost hit the man in front of her, and the blonde smirks.
Another moment is taken by the human to comprehend that there was someone in front of the blonde all along, also exuding power, that was now talking to the man in white. She heard words and phrases like, "King returns at last to his crumbling castle" and "Pretty little thing". There were more, a lot more detail, but she wasn't listening. Her attention was on the way the blonde would shift her feet and roll her eyes in boredom as she crossed her arms so she wouldn't play with her fingers. It made Lauren think of the reason why she was there, and then her thoughts would lurch to her research. The research that gave her acceptance into this new world.
That was right, she had thought, by all means the people in front of her were all genetically superior than herself. She began to think of what type of... fae- the word felt strange on her lips and mind- were in front of her, and the human wondered what kind of such strange creatures were there in the world. The blonde in front of her was no doubt a warrior, her closed black suit was slightly bulged as if she held a weapon there, and it did not go unnoticed by the human like it did on the other participants in the room. The woman in front of her, however, was not so much a warrior but a sly toothed devil. Wearing too much make-up with fine attire fit for a queen, it was easy for the human to formulate an opinion on the woman in front of her.
The brunette gave a eyebrow raised look towards the human that made her shiver, as if she were live bait she would think later, and she went back to talking with the man.
Lauren was distracted again by the blonde's sudden attention she gave her. Her eyes scavenged her body as if she were a delicacy, looking over the dirt and filth that marked her face, and she had a slight crescent smile playing on her lips. Her head was tilted slightly to the right as she looked, her finger tapping her arm in an unconscious habit while they were crossed. Crawling up her body, an undertone of something that could resemble deprivation for the human was seen in her eyes, and she swept over the human's lips with a tug of her eyes.
Looking into her eyes, the human could suddenly see, as if she had not guessed, the greed in the blonde's gaze and she understood immediately how far the emotion encompassed her.
It would have been a lie to say the thought had not passed through her own mind, but it was a ludicrous one at that seeing as the reason for her indoctrination was lying deathly still in the white room she itched to walk into. She would have done it, she could have done it, but the immobilizing fear for her superior stopped her in her tracks.
"Todaloo!" the brunette said, wagging her fingers and walking out of the doors the man and human had just come from.
A moment passed and the blonde, after giving another smirk towards Lauren and completely disregarding the man, gave her a wink and began to follow the devil.
Crimson would have brushed onto the human's face, but for the man turning and shaking his head, his eyes pinned on the doors the two women had just walked out of. He said something resembling a language the human was rusty in, she knew over ten languages, and their variations but couldn't remember what the usage meant when it was uttered out of the man's lips, and he said, "Come" as he led her to the white room.
Any thought of the blonde was wiped from her mind as she stared at the reason for her servitude as she put her hands on the cold metal of the pod, and her tears threatened to wash with her stained flesh.
"I'm sorry," she had whispered, and didn't flinch as a hard hand connected with her back in some type of comfort. Turning her gaze to the man in white, she let out an utterance of words that sounded foreign to her own ears with her tone, "Where do we begin?"
The blonde she had met weeks prior, she learned immediately, was named Tamsin. The blonde seemed to be the Morrigan's, the leader of the dark fae, favorite toy and she compared with Lauren only on the level that the human was the Ash's favorite pet. Everything else was completely different with the women. One was a doctor, one who sought life, and who was a servant with little rights or speech in counsel. The other was a warrior, a skilled one at that, that extinguished life faster than she could drink; which was a lot the human was further noticing.
The blonde seemed to get wounded often and would come to the human for more than a few patch jobs even though, as she understood the doctrines that governed the fae, it was completely taboo for her to be doing so. The doctor, however, couldn't very well turn her away bleeding and almost dead on her doorstep- the doorstep the light fae had so graciously given her, a prison she would come to call it- and she would let her in every time. However even with the extensive medical procedures she had commenced on the woman, she still did not know what type of fae she was.
Not that she much cared as her fingers curled around those blonde locks, something the warrior hated her doing but still allowed, while the other scratched down the brown leather jacket Tamsin wore. The fae seemed to never remove her garments, which made their activities more one sided than naught, and the human wasn't wholly against it. A hand was on her unclothed lower back and another was in between her thighs moving skillfully back and forth. A low moan escaped the human's mouth even as simultaneously she was trying to keep it forcibly inward, and she stopped such an impudent sound from cascading out of her throat again with a strong kiss between them.
The doctor had felt a smile growing on the blonde's lips and she quickly disengaged. "What?" she asked aggravatingly, her thighs tightening around the hand that ceased their gyrations.
"Well Dr. Lewis, it's just funny that's all." Before the human could ask why, a sudden jolt of pleasure ripped through her as the blonde thrust her fingers deeper inside and said, "A pet of the Ash consorting with the toy of the Morrigan. Seems like a deadly combination, don't you think?"
A hand slipped over the table they were banging against and the human gasped as something shattered on the ground.
"Stop!" Lauren exclaimed as she had enough energy to look at what had fallen. "Serum, concoctions, antidotes for Nadia."
"Nadia," Tamsin sang as she moved the human backwards so her eyes could only see Tamsin's leather clad shoulder. "Your comatose girlfriend. Wonder what she would think of this."
"Stop, Tamsin." It was the usual plea the human gave during such exercises, but this time it was for a completely different reason. A more serious one that would break the rocky foundation the two women were atop.
"You are so fun to play with. I've learned during my long life that only a few humans are," Tamsin purred into her ear.
Claws dug deep into leather as fingers curled inside of her and a thumb brushed over her sex. Another moan rang into Lauren's apartment as she felt the edge of her sanity slipping away as Tamsin made her cum again, the count was somewhere above two and she wondered how long they had been going.
Her temper flared when she heard yet another sealed capsule, that Lauren was supposed to take to the light fae compound later that day, clash upon the floor.
"Get off," she commanded after a few more moments of Tamsin almost laying on her. The fae didn't usually stay in close proximity to the human and it made her more angry given the recent development.
"Whatever," Tamsin had said, wiping her fingers on her skin tight jeans. A wave and waggle of hands and fingers before, "Tell Nadia I said hi for me." And like that, the fae was gone out the door without a second glance back. She had moved so fast out of the apartment, not even the doctor saw her move until she was already out of the door, blonde locks waving in the wind.
The slap the door gave as it was closed harder than necessarily needed left an empty feeling in the pit of the human's stomach and she sighed as she peeled herself from the table and made sure her bare feet didn't touch the shattered glass. Picking up the shards slowly, her eyes scavenging the liquid that spilled across the floor, she felt the back of her eyes sting with unshed tears and she stood and placed the glass back onto the counter.
The last words the fae had said still echoed through her mind and she wiped a hand across her face, only realizing after that she felt something warm and wet wash across her flesh and the realization dawned that her finger had been sliced open from the glass. Quickly half running around the counter, the wind hitting her naked body and making her shiver, Lauren pushed on the tap and ran her fingers under it. Hissing slightly, she made sure the water warmed her skin and staunched the bleeding long enough for her to get her medical supply bag from the closet that was on the adjacent wall that her kitchen was established in. Pulling out gauze, rubbing alcohol, and every other item she needed, she returned to the island and placed them on the counter with care.
It hadn't taken her long to place the small band aid on her flesh, making sure her flesh didn't split apart again, and covered it with a sterilizing roll of gauze.
As she looked upon the floor again, this time with a clouded mind with what she had just done with the fae, her tears finally began to fall.
"Are you breaking up with me, Tamsin?" Lauren had asked with conviction while the valkyrie- she had learned her fae title only after two years- shifted from side to side as her arms were crossed firmly.
"I'm not breaking up with you," Tamsin seethed as she watched everything but the human's eyes. "I'm breaking it off with you. And yeah, there's a difference."
The human's eyes squinted slightly with confusion and she retorted, "We've been doing this for three years! What changed?"
"Uh, maybe I don't find your cheep tricks entertaining anymore?"
It was like a verbal slap to the doctor's cheek and it stung harshly. Brilliant anger coated her words, something she did not think she had left when talking to a fae, and she exclaimed, "You weren't saying that two nights ago when all I needed was my tongue to turn you into a pile of fae-soup."
A laugh had ripped through the valkyrie's lips that caught the doctor off guard, but she was secretly relieved Tamsin would not harm her from her sudden explosion. "Feisty little doctor, are we! Where was that three years ago when your precious Nadia fell into a coma? Did you tell her about me yet? Or was I the dirty mistress."
"Stop it, Tamsin." Tears had begun to well in the human's eyes and she tried to force them back with no avail.
"I'm sure once she's woken up from her curse she'd just love to hear about how you were screwing someone so much better than something like her!"
A hard crack resounded in the room when Lauren's pent up rage was finally let loose upon the valkyrie. The blonde's face was turned to the side, her eyes closed from the recent slap to her cheek, and she opened them slowly and turned her head back more slowly still. Looking into Lauren's eyes showed fear and uncertainty, and it made the valkyrie's stomach roll with how little the human knew she could pay if Tamsin so wanted her to.
A gulp then a definite question, "What do you mean curse?"
Tamsin stood erect from the counter she was leaning on and it made the height difference between the two more substantial. Towering over Lauren always had made her feel insignificant and small and Tamsin was taking the advantage. "Time for me to step out, doc."
"Don't you leave!" Lauren called as the valkyrie had made it to the door, opening it slightly. "Not like this."
"We won't see each other again."
And with that, Lauren was left in her apartment again, her eyes streaming with tears as her throat constricted. She would not find out until four years later that the valkyrie had left her there, alone and emotionally bruised, because she was assigned on a mission of little importance to the Morrigan. Lauren had not found out the gravity of the situation until after she read a report the Ash had asked her to deliver to a wolf detective in one of the fae owned precincts, one that was still owned by humans, that Tamsin had left the city entirely that night.
But the one thing Lauren would never know, is that the sole reason Tamsin had left that night was not because of the valkyrie's own wishes, but for if she didn't, the Morrigan would maim the human for interactions with the dark owned toy. To Tamsin, someone who had been with lovers that spanned one hand, that was something that just couldn't be permitted. So she allowed Lauren to cry there after she heard a heart wrenching sob escaping the human while she walked down the hallway of the complex. And she didn't look back.
"Kenzi, could you get us another beer," Lauren asked the girl as she sauntered up to herself and her brunette girlfriend on the couch.
The girl clicked her tongue as she cocked her finger and smiled in the attempt at shooting the doctor with a play gun, and Lauren smiled as her companion sitting beside her gave a laugh and a head shake at such antics.
"That's, uh-"
"Kenz," Lauren finished for the woman. Both smiled knowingly and finished off the beers that were sitting opposite them on the table.
"About this case, Bo," Lauren began, but was cut off as another laugh cascaded out of the woman.
"Lauren, relax. We can do the case later, it's not like someone's died."
"Yet," the doctor corrected as she looked back toward the brown envelope she had been reaching for. There was already one human male in the hospital from the poisonous fae, and though he didn't have a chance of dying as he hadn't been injected with no more than a milliliter, it still perturbed the doctor on what kind of fae could have done it. Biting her lip she looked back towards her partner after letting go of the envelope.
"Okay Miss. Bossy, we can do it after another drink." After a few moments Bo Dennis inquired out loud, "I wonder where Dyson is."
"The D-Man said he's got a new partner since Hale's the new Ash," Kenzi chimed in as she walked over to the couch carrying two beers and a bottle of vodka. When an inquiring eye was turned to the clear bottle, the girl said, "What? I haven't even started yet and you've got me beat by one!"
Lauren shook her head with a slight smile on her lips. "I didn't know Dyson was getting a new partner. Who is it?"
"Beats me," Kenzi shrugged as she took a swig from her drink. "Hale hasn't said much about it, but he did mention something about an exchange program with the dark."
"Whoa," Bo cut in, "you mean Dyson will be working with someone from the dark?"
"Hey, Unaligned Succubus, I don't see the problem with it unless they try to fry your brains, or vajayjay, out on a secret mission from the Morrigan. Oh my god, would that really happen?" Wild eyes turned to both women separately.
Lauren shook her head. "I'm sure Hale had a say in who was chosen to be Dyson's partner."
"Better be," Bo seethed, taking a longer intake of her beverage. When the thought passed her mind, she swallowed her beer quickly and spoke it, "Why would Hale even be trying this?"
"Bo, there is political unrest between the lines," Lauren said thoughtfully. "It isn't much of a surprise that Hale would be wanting to try to merge and eradicate those aggressions towards one another. It's only a matter of time until the dark and light attack each other again. I think it's a very educated move on his part."
"Thank you, Hotpants," Kenzi said, raising her glass into the air.
Lauren smiled back and said, "Well if we're not working on the case until he arrives, I'll get you another bottle, Kenzi."
"Budem!" Kenzi replied with mirth, her glass lifted to the sky.
"Russian term for good health shortened from the more common term 'budem zdorovy'," Lauren whispered to herself as she walked over to the bar. She slightly smiled as she flicked her eyes to the ceiling as she thought she had controlled her nasty habit of explaining the things she had just heard or read.
While she stood at the bar, it didn't take long for the barkeep, who happened to be Bo's grandfather, walked over and smiled. "What will you have?"
"Just a bottle of your best vodka please, Trick."
The man smiled again, his eyes crinkling with real hilarity, and reached below him, appearing with a bottle of freshly opened alcohol.
"Do you know when Dyson will be here?" Lauren asked, her hands firmly around the bottle as she lifted it off the shining expanse of wood.
"He's walking through the door now as we speak," Trick replied as his eyes darted to the doorway arch.
Smiling, Lauren looked over to Dyson and nodded as she slightly raised the vodka to him. He nodded, and turned back, supposedly talking, or chastising it seemed, someone behind him. Shrugging, it was none of her business if the new partner couldn't take a hint, she said a quick 'thanks' to Trick before walking back to her companions.
"Now can we get started on the case, Bo? Dyson just walked through the door."
"Fine, fine, where's the case file?"
Sighing with happiness that she could put her doctoring to use, Lauren turned her head to grab the brown envelope and her head was slightly lowered when she turned back.
A surprise kiss was waiting for her, and a slight hand caressed her neck just where her shoulder met, and she smiled into the kiss as she made a small noise.
"Where's that coming from?" Lauren asked, her voice low and sultry.
"Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you," Bo responded. She turned her head to Kenzi and exclaimed, "Hey!" when the girl placed a finger in her mouth and faked as if she were gagging.
"PDA for the grown-ups, like can I not get an extra helping of gross factor," she replied with a smile as Bo swatted her leg slightly.
They did not see Dyson and his new partner come up to the couch before Bo brought her lover in for a delicious kiss again. Their mouths connected, tongues darting and tasting, and they were kissing passionately until something ripped the succubus away from the doctor with such force, it took even the warrior that Bo was to comprehend what had just happened.
"What the hell?" Bo said furiously, along with Dyson who had said it in such a tone it was as if he were scolding a small child.
Blonde locks suddenly filled the succubus' vision and green eyes were boring into her brown ones, "What the fuck do you think you're doing with the human?"
Bo scoffed and said, "What is this? The dark police force arresting me for kissing my girlfriend!"
"You're girlfriend," the blonde said in confusion and anger, locking eyes with the doctor who had stood with the commotion.
"T-Tamsin?" Lauren asked, her eyes never having left the valkyrie's form.
"That's your girlfriend," Tamsin seethed as she looked at Lauren, directing the question to her and her alone.
Any answer the doctor would have given, yes, no, why do you care, was cut short as Dyson took his new partner by the arm and forcefully, and quickly, dragged her out of the neutral owned bar, with little to no protest as she was still glaring deathly at the succubus, and out of sight before Lauren, Kenzi, or Bo had any time at all to react. The slight scuffle was over and the few fae that were in the bar, whether it be at the pool tables or on the wooden tables on the other side, went back to their business without a second glance. Trick was looking at the trio with a glare that would send a banshee running for the hills, and Bo's gaze toward her girlfriend wasn't any better.
The situation was only lessened when Kenzi, who was still seated, gave a slight whistle and a huff of breath. She sang, "Guess there's a new fae in town."
"Or an old one," Bo retorted as she glared at Lauren after the doctor had helped her to her feet. "Mind explaining for once?"
Lauren bit her lip as her eyes darting back from Bo to the space Tamsin had just previously occupied. The valkyrie was back in town in seemed, and that didn't bode well for anyone seeing as that was how she reacted after five years of breaking it off with the good doctor. Whistling in a breath, Lauren sat Bo down with a small tug of the hand, and simply said, "It's complicated, Bo."
Snatching her hand away, the succubus exclaimed, "Then uncomplicate it!"
"Bo..." Lauren soothed out her temple as she tried to formulate an accurate thought. Maybe if she switched the subject... "That can come later, okay? The case-"
"Are you freaking kidding me," Bo said aggressively as she stood.
"Bo," Lauren called as her girlfriend grabbed her coat swiftly and walked out of the archway of the building as she put it on. Groaning, Lauren settled back down onto the couch and only looked up when Kenzi spoke.
"Guess letting the fun times roll have come to an end, huh?"
Lauren clapped her hands together inaudibly, "Yeah, Kenzi. I think they are."
The human put her head in her hands and sighed again. Oh yes, she thought, the fun times were definitely over. She shook the thought off as she grabbed her coat. Saying goodbye to Kenzi, the blonde doctor walked out of the safe haven after her girlfriend.
Determination spread across the human's face as she got out into the nippy air of the city. It was warmer than it had been, but every time the breeze hit, it'd send a soft shimmer down the doctor's back. Hooking a left just as she got out the old rusty door that led out of the bar, symbols and letters above and on the appliance, Lauren quickly found she didn't have far to walk to look for her girlfriend.
That was, her former girlfriend, anyways.
Tamsin regarded her with cold deliberation and she smiled with as much entertainment as a cat got out of playing with a half-dead mouse. She peeled herself off of the scratchy bricks and stood facing the doctor.
"Looking for the succuslut?" she called to her as she approached.
"Don't call her that," Lauren said, her mouth hardening as she gave a disapproving look. "Where did Bo go?"
Leather clad shoulders shrugged and Lauren was reminded of the day those shoulders were the only thing she could see while she laid out on her apartment table. "My new wolf buddy, horny cop I will forever deem him, was taken by your little..."
"You already know Dyson's title?" And Bo's, she wanted to ask.
Tamsin shrugged again and gave a sarcastic smile. "Girl's gotta know these things."
Shaking her head, it was difficult to comprehend that she would know such a title- a title every fae held close to their chests- by only being near him for a short time, unless the Morrigan had given her information on her targets, she returned to the conversation at hand, "She's my girlfriend, Tamsin."
"Right... that," a sneer passed over the valkyrie's beautiful features, making her look cold and exact but still so damn beautiful, and she shrugged her shoulders again. "So it seems you've moved on pretty well."
"It's been five years. What happened to never seeing you again? You couldn't have expected me to-"
"How's your coma fried girlfriend doing?"
It was meant to hurt her, as if Nadia was still in that pod, but all it did was remind her of the long dead memory of Bo the strong Succubus putting a knife through the brown haired beauties stomach. Swallowing hard, Lauren squared off with the valkyrie. "She's dead, Tamsin," was delivered in a low and dangerous whisper.
Tamsin's eyes seemed to widen only a few inches, but she quickly got in control of her emotions and kept fishing for a reaction, "How'd she die, doc?"
Lauren didn't know if it was a genuine question or if the woman was still trying to hurt her. Disregarding either notion, the human tried to step past the blonde instead. It was a futile attempt for just as she tried to step past her and find Bo, the valkyrie hooked a leg between both of hers and pinned her to the wall. Lauren knew the back of her head would have cracked against the hard surface but for Tamsin's hand outstretched against the wall, making the two bodies settle inches away from it.
She was so close and Lauren couldn't help but whimper. With want, or fear, the human didn't know and neither did the valkyrie as the woman smiled slyly yet confusion spread across her features.
"Why are you with her?" Tamsin asked, her tone light but her meaning so serious.
"I love her," Lauren whispered back, her nose brushing with the fae's as she moved around her with a predatory gaze.
A small shrug. "You used to love me."
"And then you left."
"But now I'm back."
A soft hand reached and wiggled into Lauren's pants and the human gasped. "No, Tamsin. Let me go so I can find Bo."
"It'll be like old times," Tamsin purred, her hand reaching a soft, warm, and very wet spot between the doctor's legs. She held Lauren's hands firmly above her as she whispered small encouragements into her ear. To her mind, the human really did want this. What could a succubus give that a valkyrie could not? Well a whole damn lot, Tamsin thought sarcastically as she pushed into Lauren, but she would be damned if she didn't try.
It hadn't occurred to Lauren before, but Tamsin was stronger than her. She didn't mean almost-beat-in-an-arm-wrestling-match strong, but a seriously huge disadvantage, the fae could take whatever she wanted from her strong. She had said no countless times, had once pushed the valkyrie away from her sweating and disheveled form more than one occasion, even if then the human wanted it. The valkyrie had been gone for five years, and for all Lauren knew, she could have completely changed for the worse than when she actually, laughingly, cared for the human.
A tongue was pushed into Lauren's mouth and licked and smoothed over her lips. It was invasive, overpowering and wrong. But the sad part was: the human allowed the so familiar taste of the valkyrie on her lips. She allowed the woman to press her body further into the wall, one side hurting from the resistance, the other feeling soft yet hard and taught flesh on hers.
It was too much to bare when a moan escaped the doctor's lips and her eyes flew open. A grunt escaped her as she yelled, "Stop!" and pushed the valkyrie away from her. It was satisfactory for the doctor when she saw she was not the only one drinking in the cool air in between huffs of breath.
"Go," Lauren commanded as the valkyrie finally looked around, making sure no one had seen their interaction.
The fae scoffed and said, "You go. I'm going inside and getting wasted. That was the plan before you came along," she reiterated as the human raised an eye in disbelief.
So without another word, Lauren turned away from the wild-eyed valkyrie and began walking, trying to find Bo. It wasn't until she had reached the turn of the alley, away from Tamsin's watchful gaze that she completely forgot about the succubus and instead walked the familiar main roads back to her apartment complex. She did not have a car, there wasn't one in the budget, and by the time she reached her expensive housing, her feet were sore yet unbroken by blisters and her mind was buzzing with recent developments.
Tamsin was back.
Tamsin wanted Lauren back.
No, the human reprimanded as she got into her home and closed the door at the swelling cold. Tamsin just wanted a free, and good, fuck. She didn't care about the human nor anything she worked on if it didn't have something to do with the Morrigan's plan of action. However, Lauren backtracked, the valkyrie had come in on her own volition, had yanked Bo away from her just because she saw them kissing, and had tried to screw the human outside of the bar. There would be no way, or use, for the Morrigan to order her to do such a thing.
So what was the endgame?
Lauren Lewis sighed as she ran a hot bath and disrobed slowly. She would think about it later, she promised herself as she stepped into the warm water and sat down, trails of hair running behind her in the water as she bent.
It would appear the human thought a lot about it that night as she would twist and turn in her bed, her hand down below, and the next morning her mind frayed and confused of what had really happened the night before in the alleyway. Only to find that her undergarments were slicked wet and her heart clenched with every breath she took away from the valkyrie.
What in the world, she would begin to think, was she going to do?